Chapter Nine

"Yes." She closed her book and tucked it under her arm. "Although I would hardly call the conditions here the same." She blushed and he smiled as he remembered -given the darkness last night- he had not been able to see her cheeks flush like that. He felt with everything that had happened between them, she must have blushed more than a dozen times in his presence and yet he was only just witnessing it. "If you would excuse me." She made to move past him, but he side stepped with her, preventing her from reaching the door.

"You never told me who you believed I was meeting yesterday... by the tree, or why?" He had said the first thing that came to his mind, desperately seeking any reason to capture her attention a little longer and detain her from leaving.

She looked around her embarrassed, but then straightened her shoulders. "Why else would you be stood by a tree?" she challenged.

It was his turn to blush, he looked away, also embarrassed. "I ..." he searched his mind for a plausible excuse, and then realised if there was to be any future between them, he needed to be honest with her. "I was watching a lovely young woman I knew once, one I believed had all but vanished, appear before my very eyes. Someone I thought I had lost forever."

Her eyes widened and then she smirked, causing him to wonder if she did not believe him. Anne made to move past him again, and again, he moved with her, this time taking her hand in his.

"I do hope we are able to return to being friends Miss Anne, we were doing so well last night. It would be a shame to ruin all that work. I refuse to go back to not being able to look at each other without one avoiding the others eyes, or to discuss a subject and not be able to ask you of your opinion. I refuse to avoid you, and I hope you will do the same."

She looked down at his hand and then met his eyes, "I would like that very much."

With a wide smile, he stepped aside, bowing to Anne and finally –grudgingly- letting go of her hand and allowing her to leave with her book.

Once he was alone again, he chastised himself for only requesting friendship with her, he wanted so much more than to be friends, but he had to start back at the beginning. It was as if they had first met and so she deserved to be treated the same as he would any young woman he had an attraction for. They would be friends, and when she was ready, he would ask to court her and then…

That evening at dinner, the Crofts had invited the Musgrove's for a make shift welcome home party for Anne and Frederick. The new found ease at which the pair now addressed each other and conversed did not go unnoticed. Captain Wentworth seemed determined to put a distance between himself and Louisa, and instead involved Miss Anne in many a discussion or debate. Eager for her opinion and wishing to know her thoughts on matters.

In turn when he came to sit between her and Mary, she did not make an excuse to leave, but faced him full on and even laughed at some of his amusing anecdotes. As he left the ladies to speak with Charles, Mary took the opportunity to remind Anne of her place. "I do hope you will not monopolise The Captain all evening Anne. I do not know what happened last night to bring about the change in both of you. This camaraderie you seem to now share."

"Surely you are not suggesting-"

"Oh no, do not be so fanciful, we are all aware Captain Wentworth has no designs on you in that respect. But to go from barely acquaintances to this unguarded friendliness you now have, is quite puzzling. Please remember he is destined for Louisa and we should let them have time together to get you know each other. You have had your turn, now you should move aside for someone else."

Mary had no notion of how those simple words had cut through to Anne and made her doubt all that had been before. Maybe her sister was right. Without even knowing what she had said -Mary after all had no knowledge of their prior connection- her sister had expressed the weakness Anne still held inside her. She had had her chance, she had let him go and maybe she should take a step back and let him have a chance with a more willing young lady. One that would not let anything or anyone stand in the way of her own happiness, unlike she had done.

"If Captain Wentworth expresses a wish to marry Louisa, I shall not stand in their way." she vowed. More to herself than her sister.

"Well obviously –you could not come between them – but stealing his time away from her, always engaging him in conversation, most of which are about things that happened years ago, that none of us can possible comment on, or sharing inside jokes that none of us understand – it will not do."

Anne had no idea they had even being doing that. Had they purposely turned the conversation to things that only they could discuss? She looked around the room to search the faces of those she thought she knew best, those who knew her best. Was that what they were all thinking too?

Frederick's eyes immediately caught hers, offering her a smile but when she did not return it, he narrowed his eyes shook his head once, and a silent question passed between them. He was asking her if she was alright, and she could not answer him.

She turned back to her sister."I apologise if we are offending anyone, we were acquaintances, and now we are friends. We did share a past and so it seems natural to talk of it, but if you would rather I did not speak to him in company Mary, then I will not."

She had meant it teasingly, but Mary misunderstood.

"Thank you Anne that would be most satisfactory." Mary was all seriousness, and Anne could not quite believe she was being forbidden to talk to the man she had once been engaged to, the man she …

She felt something tug at her insides; it was as if the dam had finally burst. She would no longer put her own happiness aside to please others. She had spent eight years in misery and now had a chance of happiness again – even if it was in the loosest of terms. If an opportunity presented itself once more for her to put herself first, she would not be so fast to ignore it.

Anne rose from her seat, smoothing the creases from her skirts and leaned over so only Mary could hear her, "I will simply wait until you have all left, and speak to him then." Anne said brazenly before leaving the settee and moving towards the refreshment table, leaving Mary with her mouth open gawping at the new woman masquerading as her sister.

"Miss Anne." Came a soft voice from behind her.

She did not have to turn to know who it was so close behind her, but remembering their agreement, she turned to face him, looking him straight in the eye. "Captain Wentworth."

"Are you having a pleasant evening?"

"I am yes." she frowned.

He turned so his back was to the rest of their party and she was unobserved. "What is it?"

"I find our overly familiarity with one another has been observed, and not favourably."

"Has someone said something to you?" he bristled.

"No, not directly." she lied, and he could tell. "But it has been suggested I move aside to allow you more time with your intended." She nodded towards where Louisa was sat.

Frederick pulled a face and sighed deeply. "I see."

"I believe it is time you decided for certain what your intentions are regarding her, and inform her of such, so that no one else ends up hurt." She looked away then, she did not want to pressure him into making a decision. She did not want their new found closeness to influence his choice in any way. This resolution he had to come to, alone, and she could only hope for the outcome, she believed, was in everyone's best interests.

"Yes." He looked at his feet, and then helped himself to a drink. A minute or two of silence ensued before he spoke again. "You look very well tonight Miss Anne."

She was startled at the compliment so soon after they had been discussing his attachment to another. She looked down at her blue dress and smiled. "Thank you. A great deal better than I did yesterday, I would wager."

"Yes." he chuckled and then straightened, spluttering his apologies, "I mean not that you did not-"

"Oh please Captain, I must have looked simply wretched, there is no need for false praise."

He smiled back at her openness and he realised it was only one of the things he missed about her. "It is a shame there will be no dancing tonight." he commented.

Anne coloured instantly, reading between the lines in his words. She looked around her for a means of composing herself, and locked eyes with Mary and her disapproving glare. "I should go."

"You should? Oh yes, I remember. I am supposed to be spending my time wooing Miss Louisa, rather than enjoying an intelligent conversation with a witty young woman."

"It is for the best." She saw the disappointment in his face, and knew it must be mirrored in hers. She was enjoying talking to him. His stories seemed so much more entertaining now she had allowed herself to offer insight and take part in the telling. "At least until matters are settled between the two of you." she added. "Besides, I am sure we will have time to talk tomorrow." She smiled again, apologetically this time, and moved away.

They did not speak for the rest of the evening, and they both felt it acutely.