What I've Done

By: esmtz

"STEFAN!" Damon yelled out again as he heard his brother run farther away from the house.

"Just let him go, Damon. He's caused more than enough damage here. As far as I'm concerned I never want to see him again." Bonnie told him.

"I'm sorry about Enzo, Bonnie I am but it's not Stefan's fault that he killed him. If you want to blame someone then blame me for getting him involved with Cade in the first place!" Damon said looking back at her with a serious look on his face.

Bonnie shook her head.

"That doesn't excuse his actions and neither does him having his humanity switch turned off. The way I see it that's exactly who he is deep down inside of him and also I kinda hate to say this but ever since he came into our lives all he's done is made our lives more difficult than what they should have been but then again I don't have to tell you this now do I considering he destroyed your life first!"

Damon winced not sure how he could possibly argue with that.

"…He didn't do it on purpose, Bonnie. Yes I was angry at him for a long time after what happened between us and Katherine but after awhile once I realized what kind of a person Katherine was I realized that I never should have chosen her over my own brother who really wanted me around but I was too blind in my anger to see that. I should have been there for Stefan when he needed me but I wasn't and I'm always going to regret the fact that I for the most part failed as a brother. I never should have held on to my anger as long as I did, Bonnie because in the end that's what lead us here. It's my fault that this happened not Stefan's so please don't blame him for something that I alone caused." Damon said looking at her feeling completely guilty for everything that's happened.

Bonnie sighed.

"I'm sorry, Damon but I'm never going to forgive your brother for what he did to Enzo. You don't understand because Stefan didn't do to you what he did to me that unless Enzo can somehow be brought back to life I will NEVER forgive Stefan for killing him. I think you and I both know that if he had killed Elena you would be feeling the exact same way as I do now so why don't you just do yourself a favor and let Stefan go." Bonnie told him coldly.

"…I can't do that. He's my brother and I need to make sure that he's ok." Damon softly said as his voice trembled slightly, "Please let me go, Bonnie. With his humanity back on I'm afraid that Stefan might…"

Damon couldn't help but feel a strong need to be around his brother as with every second that passed he grew even more nervous about the fact that Stefan was alone and could very easily try to hurt himself if he wanted to. Bonnie was still angry but one look at Damon told her that even though Stefan had ruined his life Damon still loved him even if he didn't admit it.

"…You do realize that without him around all of our lives including yours would be a lot better don't you?" Bonnie asked making Damon wince.

"You don't mean that, Bonnie you're just angry. Watch it's just a matter of time before you forgive him and you'll feel guilty for ever thinking that way about him."

Bonnie shook her head as she looked at him with a serious look on her face.

"Not this time, Damon. If you want to help your brother then fine I won't stop you but in my honest opinion all you're going to do is make your life harder for yourself." Bonnie told him as she released her hold on him.

Damon simply looked at her for a few seconds before vamp running out of the house. It had only taken Stefan minutes to get back to his car because of how fast he was running. As soon as he got in he immediately started the car and took off back towards Mystic Falls. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel as his emotions were threatening to overwhelm him.

'It's my fault. Everything that's happened since I met Elena is entirely my fault! Cade was right. I ruined hers as well as all of her friends' lives just because I wanted to get to know her!' Stefan thought as he thought back to everything that had gone wrong simply because he was with Elena.

It wasn't just about what he did to Elena and all of her friends lives that he was thinking about but what he did to his own brother and to who knows how many other people's lives he destroyed.

'I really am a monster. There's no forgiving me for what I've done. The only thing I can do now is to just die and hope that everyone else's lives will begin to get better.' Stefan thought sadly as he continued driving.

While driving he saw that he was getting a phone call from his brother. He hesitated for a second before answering.

"Damon?"

"Stefan, listen to me I need you to either come back or pull over and wait for me." Damon said.

Stefan just shook his head.

"I can't do that, Damon."

"Damn it, Stefan! This wasn't your fault! If you need someone to blame then blame me for getting you involved with Cade in the first place! Hell everything that's happened since we went into the armory to save Bonnie's life has been MY fault not yours so don't-"

"You're not responsible for my actions, Damon. Giuseppe was right. I am a monster and have always been one ever since I became a vampire. Bonnie was also right about the fact that I've destroyed everyone else's lives so if you know what's good for you, you should just let me-"

"No. First off don't even listen to what that bastard of a father says to you. Second you're not a monster you just had issues when it came to drinking human blood and having your humanity switch turned off and third yes all of their lives did become more difficult when we started hanging around with them but seriously Stefan if you hadn't been around Bonnie probably wouldn't have ever met Enzo and Caroline probably wouldn't have her daughters right now either. Hell maybe their lives getting messed up had nothing to do with you and really if you hadn't been there to help them they all probably would be dead by now." Damon said desperately trying to make Stefan feel better.

"Don't try to defend me I mean after all your life was the first one I destroyed remember? That's why you promised me an eternity of misery right?" Stefan sighed, "I went after Elena, Damon. I almost destroyed your life a second time this time on purpose."

Stefan could feel the anger and hatred he felt towards himself start to rise within him.

"You can't possibly forgive me for almost killing her and taking away the one person who actually makes you happy."

"But you didn't kill her, Stefan and besides she's not the only person who I'm happy to have in my life." Damon said.

Damon was starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable but he knew that he had to say it if he wanted his brother to still be around.

"Yeah well if you want to keep Bonnie you might not want to try to save the person who killed her boyfriend." Stefan could feel the guilt start to overwhelm him again, "I almost killed her too you know so there's another reason why you should just let me go."

"I wasn't talking about her, Stefan. I was talking about you." Damon told him.

Stefan could feel his heart clench in pain when he heard him say that. Tears started to form in his eyes before they fell down his face. He didn't say anything for a few seconds making Damon start to worry.

"Stefan?"

"…I wasn't going to stop, Damon. I was going to kill Bonnie and then after that I was going to kill Elena. If Bonnie didn't give me the cure when she did they would both be dead right now." Stefan told him, "I'm so sorry, Damon for everything that I put you through. You didn't deserve to have someone like me as your brother you deserved better. I don't expect you to ever forgive me in fact you can go ahead and just tell yourself that you never had a brother. Just know that I will never forgive myself for constantly ruining or trying to ruin your life. Goodbye, brother."

"STEFAN, NO!" Damon yelled out but Stefan had already hung up.

Author's Note: Okay so I guess this story is a little bit longer than I thought big surprise there (sarcasm) I still think the story is only going to last one more chapter and that's it but hey I've been wrong most of the time before. Sorry that I got the part about Bonnie's magic wrong it looked like she got it back but no she didn't oops but oh well this is fan fiction so it doesn't need to be perfect. I'm so glad that you guys like the story so far and I'm hoping that you guys are excited for more. I'm always nervous when I post something new up cause it's like I have no idea if you guys are going to like it or not so yeah hopefully this turned out okay and I hope to have the next chapter up sometime soon so thanks for reading.