Ch 5: Slivers of trust and Making it work
"Ok Mihashi before we start there are a few things I need to go over with you" Abe said as he watched Mihashi fidget in place, the boy was clearly nervous and Abe couldn't help but want to reassure him.
"I went over your x-rays and your injuries are actually healing really well the only problem is that you've lost a lot of muscle, so that's what we're going to work on." Mihashi was still fidgeting, seeming to take in all of his surroundings and not liking what he found. At this point Abe was pretty sure Mihashi wasn't even listening to him.
"Hey" Abe said taking a step toward Mihashi, grabbing one of his hands. That got his attention. Mihashi jerked his arm back trying to pull it away but Abe only held tighter. "Mihashi, look at me." Mihashi a now trembling mess slowly lifted his gaze to meet Abe's. Abe lifted Mihashi's hand holding it palm to palm, just tight enough so that Mihashi wouldn't let go.
"I need you to take a deep breath for me, can you do that?" Surprisingly without putting up a fight Abe watched as Mihashi took a deep breath and let it go. Surprised with Mihashi's sudden compliance Abe wondered how far he could push this new found sliver of trust.
"Mihashi you know this is called physical therapy for a reason. There are going to be times when I have to touch you and you can't be jerking away every time that happens. Obviously that's something were going to have to work on so, close your eyes." At that not only did Mihashi not close his eyes but they seemed to widen in fear.
"W-what?" Mihashi said now trying to wiggle his hand free again.
"Mihashi" Abe said holding his ground not letting the boy back away. "Nothing is going to happen ok. You're just going to stand here and hold my hand. Now you can either do that with your eyes closed or staring right at them, your choice." Abe didn't like threatening Mihashi but he had to get through to him somehow. Mihashi snapped his eyes shut. "Good" Abe said letting out a little sigh.
"Now I want you to focus on your breathing. I want you to take deep even breaths until they're nice and steady." Abe watched Mihashi breathe for a few minutes until it evened out. "Good" Abe said again giving Mihashi's hand a little squeeze. "Now I want you to focus on my hand, feel the warmth of my palm. I want you to imagine taking that warmth and letting it fill you up." Abe slowly let up his grip on Mihashi's hand until it was Mihashi and not him who was holding them together.
"You can open your eyes now Mihashi" Abe said as evenly as he could. Abe watched as Mihashi slowly opened his eyes only to stare up at Abe and smile. Abe's breath caught in his throat and he swore for a minute his heart had actually stopped. He couldn't help but stare back. Mihashi's eyes were like liquid gold, Abe was sure they would be the death of him. Quickly coming back to his senses Abe let go of Mihashi's hand and gave a small smile back.
"That wasn't so bad was it? Abe said more to himself then Mihashi. Abe watched Mihashi slowly shake his head as a small blush crept up his cheeks. Seeing Mihashi blush made Abe's own cheeks heat up as he let out a shaky breath.
"We um, we'll start doing that every day until um, so you get used to it" Abe said clearing his throat. The blush on Mihashi's face seemed to effect Abe more then he cared to admit and he found he had trouble making eye contact. Shaking his head Abe pulled himself together.
"Now that that's out of the way" Abe said finally looking up at the boy "I need to get you on a scale."
Abe wasn't happy. At all. He looked from Mihashi to the scale and back again. Abe knew the other day when he had seen Mihashi in that hospital gown that he was thinner then he thought but seeing the actual number had Abe almost fuming. Mihashi was 5'9 which should put his weight between 144lb and 176lbs. So the fact that the number on the scale was flashing 135 meant that Mihashi was severely underweight.
"You need to eat more" Abe said point blank, which had Mihashi stuttering and mumbling to himself.
"I-I eat-"
"Apparently not enough" Abe said cutting Mihashi off. "I want you to gain at least 15lbs so we'll have to figure out a nutrition plan. Until then you just need to make sure you're eating at least three decent meals a day, ok?" Abe watched as Mihashi nodded his head that he understood.
"Good" Abe said as he helped Mihashi off the scale. "Before we get started there are a few things that I want to go over with you" Abe said making sure he had Mihashi's full attention this time.
"Like I said before you've lost a lot of muscle so we're going to work on building that back. I want to make sure that we take it slow today so you don't strain anything. We're not going to focus on anything specific today, I want to do a bit of everything just to gauge where you're at. Most importantly at any point if you feel any pain you need to tell me right away, got it?"
"G-got it" Mihashi said nodding his head.
"Alright then, let's get started."
The morning went by relatively smoothly. Mihashi was clearly out of shape so Abe started him off by taking him through a series of stretches. He was a bit surprised when Mihashi seemed to know what most of the stretches were, but he didn't dwell on it. After the stretches Abe eased Mihashi into using resistance bands. Which took some time because Mihashi had no idea what they were.
'It's like weight lifting' Abe had said 'but safer, especially for someone with an injury.' Abe explained to Mihashi that the bands only allowed you to do what you can already do so that way you aren't over exerting yourself and taking on more than you can handle. They spent the rest of the morning with Abe putting Mihashi through different workouts using the bands.
The only issue there really was, was Mihashi's flinching away. They boy clearly didn't like being touched and Abe found himself frustrated. It was annoying when every time Abe would reach for the boy to show him how to do something he would instantly jerk away. More than once Abe found himself on the verge of shouting at Mihashi but he surprisingly, though difficultly, had kept his emotions in check. Mostly.
Abe liked to end every workout with a light jog just to keep the muscles loose, but in Mihashi's case he hoped it would help him build up some stamina. Abe was surprised when they rounded the track and caught a glimpse of the time. Their two hours were up, the morning had gone a lot faster than he thought it would.
"Alright Mihashi after this lap we'll call it a day" Abe said slightly out of breath. Abe looked to his left to see a struggling Mihashi. His face was flushed with heat and his breath was coming in short huffs. Abe was actually surprised he was still standing. He looked like he was going to drop at any moment. As they reached the end of the track that is exactly what he did.
For a moment Abe panicked thinking Mihashi had actually passed out. When he realized this was not the case he couldn't help but laugh. Mihashi, had very ungracefully, flopped spread eagle onto the ground. Abe watched as Mihashi gaped taking in deep breaths of air trying to catch his breath. He looked like a fish.
Abe was now doubled over with laughter trying to catch his own breath. When his laughter subsided he made his way over to Mihashi sticking out a hand to help him up. Surprisingly Mihashi took Abe's hand without question letting the taller boy hoist him off the ground.
"You did good today" Abe said as he helped the boy up. Mihashi tried to give Abe a small smile but he was still having trouble breathing.
"Why don't we go get cleaned up and after that we can grab some lunch" Abe said looking at the still panting boy. Mihashi nodded his head in agreement still not having enough air to form words. Abe led the way to the locker room where they both quickly showered and changed.
As they headed over to the commons Abe couldn't help but think back on his conversation with Sakaeguchi from the other evening. He knew he had offered for him to come to lunch with them but now he wasn't so sure it had been a good idea. Should he warn Mihashi that they might be joined for lunch or would that only make him more anxious? Abe wasn't sure what the better option was. He hadn't actually thought that Mihashi would agree to come.
Abe had actually been surprised by Mihashi's agreement to go to lunch with him in the first place, seeing as to what happened the other day. When Abe had offered to take Mihashi to lunch he had accepted at first but the second they had walked into the commons he had frozen. It had taken Abe five minutes just to pull Mihashi out of the doorway and off to the side. When he had asked what was wrong all he got was a jumble of broken words in response. Followed by what he could only assume was the word sorry before Mihashi had turned and bolted back out the door leaving Abe standing there dumfounded.
As they reached the building Abe wasn't too excited about the prospects of a repeat of that happening. As Abe was about to open the door for them he quickly decided against it turning to face Mihashi instead.
"Mihashi?" Abe said grabbing the boy's attention before he walked strait into him. Mihashi's head snapped up stopping him just in time.
"Y-yes A-Abe-kun?" Mihashi asked, staring at Abe like a deer in headlights. Now that he had Mihashi's attention he had no idea how to start. He ran his hand through his hair thinking of how to make this as little awkward as possible.
"Do you-" Abe started, then abruptly cut himself off. He really didn't want to bring up what happened and make Mihashi feel bad, but he wasn't sure he could avoid it. Taking a breath he tried again. "Are you sure you want to go in there?" Abe watched Mihashi waiting to see what his reaction would be. To Abe's dismay it didn't seem to be a good one. Abe watched as Mihashi seemed to curl in on himself, biting his lip and lowering his gaze to the ground.
"I-I don't h-have to eat lunch w-with A-Abe-kun. I-I c-can go back-"
"That's not what I meant" Abe said cutting Mihashi off. He sighed running his hand through his hair again. It looks like I'm just gonna have to come out and say it, he thought.
"I just meant that I wasn't sure if you were comfortable eating here after what happened the other day. You know, after you…ran away. I just wanted to make sure you were ok before we went inside. It's ok if you're not Mihashi. You don't have to eat here."
"N-no I-I want to eat here w-with A-Abe-kun. I, I just-" Abe was a little surprised at the outburst, but mostly confused. Mihashi looked so torn. Abe couldn't help but wonder what was making him so anxious.
"What is it?" Abe asked trying to keep his tone as neutral as possible, hoping it would get him some answers.
"Th-there's just so m-many people. A-and I-I g-get nervous" Mihashi admitted, peeking up at Abe.
"What are you nervous about? Abe couldn't help but ask. Mihashi instantly started shaking his head, taking a small step back.
"Hey, it's ok. You don't have to tell me." Abe said trying to keep the boy from bolting on him again. Abe knew now that going inside was obviously a big deal for Mihashi like an obstacle he needed to overcome and Abe for some reason wanted to help.
"There's nothing to worry about, ok? I'll be with you the whole time. I won't let anything happen." Abe had surprised himself by the words that seemed to fall out of his mouth, but by the look on Mihashi's face he knew it had been the right thing to say.
"Y-you promise" Mihashi all but whispered.
"Promise" Abe said, a slight catch in his breathing. At that Mihashi gave a quick nod to his head which Abe took as he was ready to go. Abe gave a small nod back then turned to the door opening it leading Mihashi inside.
The room was crowded. Even a bit more crowded then Abe was comfortable with. Which had him constantly looking to his side to check to see how Mihashi was doing. Other than looking a bit paler then usual he was still there following at Abe's side so he guessed he was doing ok.
Abe lead them through the throngs of people standing and milling about, either catching up with friends between classes or getting lunch themselves.
Abe was just about to ask Mihashi what kind of food he wanted when he felt a tug on his hand. Abe looked down at his hand to find it being firmly grasped by Mihashi's. Abe was so surprised by the gesture he didn't even have time to be embarrassed about it. He looked over to Mihashi who looked no less the than terrified. He swore Mihashi had been fine a moment ago so where had this new found fright come from?
Abe pushed his questioning out of his mind giving Mihashi's hand a gentle squeeze back hoping to pull the boys focus from whatever was brewing in his head to himself. Mihashi slowly looked up at Abe who gave him a reassuring smile.
"I'm not going anywhere" Abe said, when he felt the boy tighten his grip. "Come on, let's go find some food." With Mihashi's hand still grasped firmly in his own he steered them over to the food court.
It took him longer then it normally would have but they finally got their food and found a mostly empty table near the window to sit at. Abe sat facing Mihashi letting the boy sit on the side with his back facing the wall. Abe thought it might make Mihashi more comfortable in the crowded room knowing no one could come up behind him.
Abe watched Mihashi as they ate. He did seem to have calmed down a bit, but with all the noise in the room Mihashi was a flinching mess. It wasn't exactly ideal but at least the boy hadn't run away. Yet. Thinking of a way to distract the boy from the noise around him Abe remembered he needed to talk to Mihashi about his nutrition.
"Mihashi" Abe said breaking through the noise. Mihashi looked up at Abe, fork halfway to his mouth. "Do you remember before how I said you should be eating at least three times a day?" Abe watched as Mihashi slowly nodded his head yes, a bit confused. "Well we should probably change that to at least four or five, ok?" Mihashi's eyes seemed to bug out of his head at the prospect of having to eat so much food. "It's just for a little while" Abe said at the look on Mihashi's face. "Just until you start gaining some weight back."
"We definitely need to watch what you eat along with how much. Since you'll be mainly cooking instead of eating out that will definitely help. We just need to make sure you're cooking healthy. I'll ask Shinooka-"
Abe was abruptly cut off by the sound of his name being shouted from across the cafeteria. He swiftly turned in his seat to find Tajima a few tables away frantically waving his arms. Trailing behind him was Sakaeguchi and a not to happy looking Hani.
Shit. With all his worrying over Mihashi he had totally forgotten about Sakaeguchi showing up. And it seemed like he made good on his promise of bringing along Tajima and Hani. Abe quickly turned back around to face a nervous looking Mihashi, he had to warn him, and fast.
"It's ok" Abe explained. "Those are just some of my friends. We usually eat lunch together so that's probably why they're headed this way. Do you mind if they sit with us?" Abe watched as Mihashi's face drained of color. Not good he thought attempting to explain further. "They're all really nice I promise. Although Tajima is a bit loud and obnoxious he's completely harmless I swear." Mihashi did not look convinced. In a last ditch effort Abe decided to tell Mihashi the truth.
"The thing is Sakaeguchi was pestering me the other day about meeting you so I kind of invited him to lunch with us and I knew he would want to bring Hani and Hani and Tajima are sort of a package deal so… I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I guess I just figured it wasn't that big of a deal. I can tell them to go away if you want." Mihashi seemed to be thinking something over in his head. Abe was worried for a minute that Mihashi would actually tell Abe to turn them away. Abe was surprised when that wasn't the case.
"N-no I-I want t-to meet A-Abe-kuns friends."
"Are you sure? You don't mind?"
"I-if they are as n-nice as A-Abe-kun th-then I-I don't mind" Mihashi said, refusing to meet Abe's gaze. Abe sat there staring at Mihashi. He hadn't expected that. He was stopped from thinking that much into it though because at that moment his friends had reached their table.
"Hey Abe didn't you see me waving?" Tajima asked as he plopped himself down on the bench next to Abe waving his arms once again for emphasis.
"Sorry must have missed it" Abe lied, teasing the overtly dramatic boy.
"The whole cafeteria saw you waving baka." Hani said curtly, shoving Tajima over so he could sit between him and Abe. Sakaeguchi was the last to arrive at the table taking the only available seat left which was right next to Mihashi. Once everyone was seated and nothing dramatic happened like the table exploding (or Mihashi running away) Abe released a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.
Abe leaned over the table gesturing to each of his friends as he introduced them. "Mihashi this is Hani, Tajima, and Sakaeguchi. Guys this is Mihashi my new roommate" Abe said, once again finding himself holding his breath. He wasn't sure what he had expected to happen but was relieved when nothing did. Abe wasn't surprised though when Tajima was the first to speak up.
"Hi Mihashi! Nice to meetchya!" Tajima practically shouted.
"Jeeze!" Hani exclaimed covering his ears. "He's not deaf Tajima."
"Yeah it's nice to finally meet you" Sakaeguchi chimed in. Mihashi sat there staring at the group before him looking more overwhelmed then Abe had ever seen him. Abe watched Mihashi's face intently waiting for the panic to finally set in and the boy to cry or bolt. Abe was a bit surprised when he found Mihashi's gaze turning to him.
Instead of looking at Abe with panic it was almost as if he was looking at Abe to steady himself. Abe found himself giving Mihashi a small nod as if to encourage the boy to speak up. Seeing Abe nod seemed to give Mihashi the confidence he needed because a moment later he was talking.
"N-nice t-to meet you t-too" Mihashi finally said eyes darting back and forth from the group to his now forgotten tray of food. Sakaeguchi gave Mihashi a small smile taking his response as a go ahead to continue talking to him.
"How do you like it here so far?" he asked. Realizing that Sakaeguchi was still talking to him Mihashi began to fidget.
"I-It's n-nice" Mihashi said taking his anxiety out on his shirt wringing it in his hands.
"Abe hasn't been giving you any trouble has he?" Hani suddenly asked, although it sounded more like a demand then a question. Mihashi reacted instantly to Hani's tone, giving a sudden jolt and shaking his head so fast it almost gave Abe whiplash. Abe was about to speak up to tell Hani to take it down a notch when he spoke again.
"You just let us know if this oaf is ever giving you a hard time and we'll straighten him out for you, ok?" Hani gestured toward Abe. Once again Mihashi reacted instantly nodding his head yes.
"Don't let Hani intimidate you" Tajima said, speaking up before Abe could. Tajima then leaned over the table toward Mihashi cupping a hand to his mouth as if to keep the rest of the table form hearing what he was about to say next. "I know he acts like a tough guy but he's actually a big softy. And if you ever need a break from Abe or just someone to hang with you just come straight to me ok" he said with a wink.
"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?!" Hani interjected. All the while glaring at Tajima as he sat back down.
"Exactly what is sounds like grandpa" Tajima answered with the most devilish grin on his face.
Abe watched Mihashi as Tajima and Hani began bantering back and forth and was glad to see that he didn't look absolutely terrified. Although he did look like he wanted to get up and run, he didn't, and that's all that mattered. He had been worried about how Mihashi would react to meeting his friends but he never really considered what they might think of Mihashi. Abe smiled to himself relieved that for the most part it seemed his friends had accepted Mihashi without question. Maybe, just maybe, Abe thought to himself, he could actually make this work.