He couldn't make this work.

What the hell had he been thinking agreeing to cook with Mihashi? It had already been over a week and the only thing he had accomplished was to melt a spatula, set the fire alarm off twice (which his dorm mates weren't exactly appreciative of, being woken up before 7:30 and all) and turned a pot of oatmeal into something that could only be described as having come from a SyFy movie. All in all if anything Abe had only cemented the fact that he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a kitchen. Not currently standing in one, hovering over a bowl, stirring what used to resemble pancake batter.

Abe let out a sigh looking over to Mihashi who was frantically trying to save what Abe had earlier done to the eggs. Abe knew that this wasn't working but how was he supposed to tell Mihashi that. Mihashi had been so happy when Abe had agreed to cook with him and he didn't want to take that away from him, but at this rate it was only a matter of time before something more serious happened. Speaking of more serious, if Mihashi didn't take this bowl away from him their pancakes were going to turn out with the consistency more along the lines of a brick then a pancake.

Abe stole another glance over his shoulder looking to see if Mihashi had calmed down enough from him ruining the eggs to tell him that he was probably ruining the pancakes as well. He watched as Mihashi scampered back and forth from one side of the kitchen to the other mumbling under his breath. This probably wasn't the best time to tell Mihashi about the pancakes, but on the other hand Mihashi looked so frazzled that he might not even notice.

Abe let out a long sigh, he was never one to give up, but he knew a lost cause when he saw it. So he let go of the spatula he had been using to "stir" the pancake batter that had somehow become so thick that the spatula was now standing straight up of its own accord.

"Mihashi" Abe said trying to grab his attention, as he turned away from the bowl. The boy was clearly lost to his own thoughts as he moved back from counter to counter. Abe tried again a bit louder this time.

"Mihashi this isn't working" he said leaning back on the counter.

"I-it's o-okay, A-Abe-kun can do it. Just st-stir like I-I showed you" Mihashi responded not stopping in his movements.

Abe let out a sigh, clearly Mihashi didn't exactly get what he was trying to say. Abe wished that this could be an easy conversation. To just be able to tell Mihashi that he couldn't cook with him anymore, but he knew with Mihashi nothing was ever quite that simple. First he was going to have to actually get the boys attention and then somehow make him understand what he was saying. He took a deep breath trying to mentally prepare himself for how this conversation was going to go, then dove in.

"That's not what I meant Mihashi" he tried again looking for some sort of reaction from the boy. Abe mine as well have been talking to a brick wall. Abe could feel his frustration mounting as he watched the boy continue to flit back and forth.

"Hey can you just-"

"J-just k-keep stirring."

"Mihashi."

"J-just o-one sec-"

Having reached his limit Abe lunged off the counter grabbing one of Mihashi's wrists, abruptly dragging him away from the stove and trapping him between the counter. Mihashi let out a yelp of surprise that Abe couldn't help but flinch at, already feeling guilty for scaring the boy. Mihashi had clearly not been expecting Abe to grab him like he had and was looking up at him with fear. Abe quickly let go of his wrist taking a step back trying to show him he meant no harm.

"I'm sorry for grabbing you like that Mihashi" Abe said trying to calm his voice. "It's just, we need to talk." Mihashi just stood there silently, still confused as to what just happened. Now that he clearly had Mihashi's attention Abe found that he had no idea how to do this. He had no idea how to tell Mihashi what he needed to. He didn't want to hurt Mihashi's feelings but this obviously wasn't working. He knew if he didn't tell him now he would lose what little nerve he had left and before he realized what he was doing Abe had blurted it out.

"I don't think we should cook together anymore."

Abe felt as shocked at himself for his outburst as Mihashi looked. Mihashi flinched away from the words like Abe had just slapped him with them. He knew he had to explain before things got out of hand.

"Mihashi" Abe said letting out a long sigh "This just, it's not working" Abe said gesturing towards the kitchen.

"It's f-fine" Mihashi said finding his voice. "A-Abe-kun j-just needs a little m-more practice."

"Mihashi it's already been over a week and you haven't had a proper breakfast for any of those days because of me."

"B-but th-that's n-not-"

"Mihashi listen we tried ok, like I said we would, but sometimes things just don't work out. The whole point of this was to help you calm down, do you feel calm right now?"

"I-I I'm f-fine!"

"Then how come you're not looking at me? Mihashi?" Abe watched as the boy he was currently arguing with stare pointedly at the ground refusing to meet his gaze. How was he supposed to make him understand if he wouldn't even look at him? So for the second time that morning Abe found himself suddenly reaching out for Mihashi, grabbing his chin, forcing the boy to look up at him. The second Mihashi's gaze met his own he regretted everything. Abe felt his stomach drop as the tears he knew Mihashi had been holding back this entire time started to spill over. Abe could only stand there staring at Mihashi who was full on sobbing now and think, I caused this. Abe silently cursed himself for being so careless.

"I-I'm s-sorry" Mihashi choked out, tears running down his face. "M-my f-fault. Suppose to t-teach A-Abe-kun. L-let A-Abe-kun d-down. F-failed h-him. All m-my f-fault."

There were a lot of things that Abe could deal with in his life but Mihashi crying was not one of them. Abe was one of those awkward people that the second someone got emotional he had no idea what to do and usually ended up making the situation worse. But when it came to Mihashi all he wanted to do was wrap the boy in his arms and tell him everything was going to be ok. Especially now seeing as how he had somehow just made Mihashi apologize for something that wasn't even his fault. Abe felt like the biggest ass in the world.

"Hey listen to me Mihashi" Abe said trying to snap him out of it. Even though he was still holding the boy's face it was clear that Mihashi had turned in on himself and wasn't going to come out of it without help. After another hiccup and sob let out from the boy, and more, now incoherent rambling, Abe tried again.

"Mihashi, hey, look at me" Abe said moving his hand from the boys chin to wipe away the stray tears that were still running down his face. "Listen to me, you didn't do anything wrong ok." Mihashi, who now seemed to hear Abe, shook his head violently in his grasp. "Hey, you didn't" Abe responded, moving his hand from Mihashi's cheek to the back of his neck holding him in place. "This isn't your fault. If anyone is to blame here it's me. I should have never agreed to this and got your hopes up. I'm so sorry. Just please, don't cry."

Abe was leaning forward about to touch foreheads with Mihashi when at the last moment he abruptly pulled back. What was he doing? It was one thing to calm Mihashi even comfort him but lately when Mihashi was involved Abe just couldn't seem to get a handle on his emotions or as it seemed, to keep his hands to himself. Realizing that this whole situation was quickly working its way into dangerous territory he quickly let go of Mihashi taking a step back from the boy.

"Why don't we finish talking about this later ok? If we don't leave soon we're going to be late for rehab. I'll grab us some power bars while you get ready ok?" Mihashi slowly nodded his head and then retreated down the hall. Abe sighed as he watched Mihashi disappear into his room. Abe knew that this was going to get back to Shiga and he dreaded thinking of how that conversation was going to go when she found out that he had basically just bailed on Mihashi's outlet.

Shit. What did he just do?

The Commons was crowded. Again. More than it normally was. Even though I had been coming here for over a week now it was still something I wasn't used to. Abe and I started going every day after rehab to meet up with Sakaeguchi, Tajima, and Hani for lunch. I was currently trying to keep up with the table's conversation but not doing a very good job.

I couldn't help but stare at the ground, there were just too many people around and it felt like everyone was watching me. I felt too exposed here, too vulnerable, but I couldn't tell Abe that, he wouldn't understand. And plus I didn't want to disappoint him. Abe seemed to like coming here and eating with his friends and I didn't want to take that away from him. I knew that if I told him that I wasn't comfortable here we would leave, but I couldn't do that. So I sat quietly, trying to ignore everything else around me and just focus on what everyone was talking about but it was becoming difficult.

Although I had begun to get used to Tajima's antics and Hani's seriousness I still found myself fidgeting. I quickly started to lose tract of the argument that Hani and Tajima were having (I think it had been about movies this time) there was just too much noise. And I couldn't help but flinch every time Tajima reached too far across the table making a wild hand gesture. I was glad that even though that happened about every two minutes no one commented on it.

Normally on a good day it wouldn't have bothered me so much but I guess I was still worked up over what happened this morning. I thought that everything had been going fine, but I guess I was wrong. I know that Abe had said that it wasn't my fault but that's not how it felt. I felt like I had let Abe down, that I had disappointed him. But I wasn't only letting down Abe was I? It was Shiga-hakase who had thought that this would work. How was I going to tell Shiga? How was I going to tell her that I had failed?

All of a sudden I felt trapped. With the noise in the commons increasing and Tajima's gestures becoming wilder I could feel my fidgeting turn into small tremors. I wrung my hands in my lap trying to keep my rising panic at bay. I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt someone else's hand close around my own.

I looked down to see Abe's hand gently wrestling with my own until my hand was firmly grasped with his. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze gently rubbing his thumb back and forth across my knuckles and after a few moments of this I could feel myself starting to calm down.

This was something that Abe and I didn't talk about. It had started that first day when we had come to the commons. I had gotten so overwhelmed that without thinking I had reached out for Abe's hand and surprisingly he took it without question. After that first time it just sort of started happening. Abe was mostly the one who initiated it, just reaching out for my hand and grabbing on when he could tell I was starting to panic, but I took it gratefully, still too nervous to reach out myself, afraid that he would reject me.

Now that I was once again calm, or as calm as I was going to get sitting in a room full of hundreds of other people, I glanced down at our intertwined fingers giving them a tentative squeeze just to let Abe know that I was ok again. I eventually lifted my gaze back up to Abe who was still talking to Sakaeguchi like nothing had happened, smiling to myself as I felt Abe's hand squeeze back.

"A-Abe-kun w-wait!" I half shouted as Abe got up from the table, I hadn't realized how much time had passed. With everything that had happened between this morning and lunch I had forgotten to ask Abe what he wanted for dinner. Now that lunch was over and I forgot to ask again I had to ask him before he left for class or I would miss my chance and I didn't want to make something that Abe wouldn't like and—

"What is it Mihashi?" The sound of Abe's voice had pulled me back and I looked up to find that I was the only one still sitting at the table. Everyone had already gotten up and was now making their way through the cafeteria. I hurriedly got up to join them, tripping only once. Though there wasn't really any reason to rush I knew that Abe would wait for me.

When we finally made it outside I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I was glad to be out of the commons but now that we were out I started to get anxious. As we began walking again I couldn't help but work my shirt into a wrinkled mess. All I had to do was ask him before he went to class or I would miss my chance. Again.

"You ok?" Abe asked noticing something was off. Before I knew what I was doing I had shouted.

"Dinner!"

"What?" Abe asked, stopping in his tracks, looking a little taken aback from my sudden outburst.

"I-I f-forgot to ask w-what you want for d-diner tonight" I mumbled to the ground, having lost my sudden burst of confidence.

"Oh, um it doesn't matter to me Mihashi, whatever you feel like" Abe said with a shrug. I wasn't exactly sure how to take that. Did that mean he wanted me to make something that I wanted or was I supposed to know what he wanted? But that's why I was asking. I was still getting to know what it was that Abe liked to eat and I didn't want to make him something he wouldn't like.

"Oh, o-okay" I said, somehow now feeling even more nervous than before I had asked. I had just begun to walk away when I felt a tug on my arm. I looked down to see Abe standing next to me with a hold on the end of my sleeve.

"Mihashi" Abe started. "It doesn't matter, because all of your food is great" at that my head snapped up. Did Abe, just, compliment me? I was about to say something, to question his words, but it seemed Abe wasn't finished yet. "I'm sure that no matter what you make I'll enjoy it" the words I was about to say instantly died in my mouth, leaving it hanging there gaping like a fish. "So just make whatever you want to ok." Abe then reached out a hand to ruffle my hair, leaving my face fifty shades of red.

I was stunned. No one had ever said anything like that to me before and I had no idea how to react. All I could do was stand there staring at him, with my face feeling brighter than the sun. It occurred to me after a moment that I should probably thank him, but once again my words were cut off as something came hurtling in front of me.

I let out a yelp as whatever it was came crashing right between me and Abe, breaking the grip that Abe had on my shirt, causing me to stumble backwards. Right as I was sure I was going to hit the ground I felt something grab me pulling me back up. I realized then by the face staring directly in front of me that it wasn't a what, but a who. Tajima stood in front of me with both hands on my arms and the biggest grin on his face.

"What the fuck Tajima?!" I heard Abe shout, from where he now stood somewhere behind me.

"Mihashi!" Tajima shouted ignoring Abe completely. I couldn't help but flinch away. "You can cook?!" he shouted again now shaking me back and forth from the hold he had on my arms.

"Y-yes?" I questioned still not sure what had just happened or what was going on.

"You have to cook for me! Please!"

"Tajima you can't just demand that someone cook you food" I heard Abe say from somewhere over my shoulder.

"You don't understand" Tajima went on. "My mom used to cook dinner every night and I haven't had it in soooo long. And I miss it. I need real food! Mihashi Pleeease!" I began to relax a little in Tajima's grip as his words finally begun to sink in. At first I thought he was mad, but as I looked at him now what I had mistaken for anger seemed to be excitement? Did Tajima really want me to cook for him? Was he being serious or was this some sort of trick? I didn't know what to do, but with Tajima standing in front of me looking so eager I couldn't say no. Before I could think any more about it I heard myself muttering.

"O-okay"

"Seriously?!" Tajima shouted, now jumping up and down. All I could do was shake my head yes. "Mihashi you're the best!" he said with a woop, now bounding over to where Hani stood. "Hani did you hear that Mihashi is going to cook for us! I'm so excited! Is tonight good for you?"

"Wait, what?" Abe interjected.

"No that's too soon isn't it? How about this weekend?"

"Tajima hold on just a minute."

"What about Saturday? Yeah Saturday sounds good."

"Mihashi" Abe called making his way back over to me, leaving Hani to deal with the whirlwind that was Tajima. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. It's ok to say no." As I looked from Abe back over to Tajima, who was now dancing around Hani, all the fear I had begun to fade away.

"I-its ok. I-I w-want to."

"See Abe he wants to" Tajima said sticking his tongue out. "So Saturday is good then. What are you gonna make? No, wait! Don't tell me! It can be a surprise! Hey Hani, wha-"

"We need to go to class" was all Hani said interrupting Tajima, as he picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. I could only stand and stare as Hani started to walk away toting Tajima like he was his book bag.

"Oh yeah, class, right" Tajima said, not even putting up a fight. "See you later Mihashi! And Saturday, see you Saturday!" I could still hear Tajima shouting as Hani turned a corner and they slipped out of view. As I watched them leave I couldn't stop the smile that was growing on my face.

I had been so excited to cook for everyone that before I knew it, it was already Saturday. It had taken me all week to decide what I was going to make but after a very long debate in my head I had finally decided on making gyoza. I knew it was a simple dish but I wanted to make something that everyone would like. Plus because of how much it makes I knew there would be enough for everyone, even with how much Tajima eats.

Even though there wasn't much to the dish there was a lot of time involved in making it. So I had made sure I had gotten up early to go to the campus store so I could get back in plenty of time to start cooking. Abe hadn't even been awake by the time I had gotten back. I noticed that even though Abe didn't seem to be a morning person the only day he slept in on was Saturday. I kept that in mind as I worked my way around the kitchen trying to make as little noise as possible. I hummed quietly to myself as I went about the kitchen gathering up everything I would need and bringing it over to the counter. Once I had everything that I needed I got to work.

I had everything just about ready to go when I realized that I never got the steamer out. I remembered earlier in the week having asked Abe if we had a steamer and he had said that he remembered seeing one in the hall closet. So I paused what I was doing and went over to the closet to have a look.

It took me a couple of tries to get the door open but after one last shove it finally swung in. As I took a look around the closet I wasn't surprised to see that is was mostly empty. Other than a mop, broom, and a vacuum there were only a few other random things inside. Abe had said that he didn't really keep anything in here because the door was always getting stuck.

I moved the few boxes that there had been on the shelves around and was just about to give up when I saw on the very top shelf sat the steamer. Of course it was too high for me to reach but I figured if I could just pull myself up on the bottom shelf I could grab it.

I put my knee up on the bottom shelf pulling myself up, smiling when I reached out and was actually able to grab the steamer. I held the steamer as I lowered myself back down, but it was too late that I realized how far up I actually was.

As I let go of the shelf thinking the ground was right below my foot I let out a yelp as my foot met air and I fell. It was only a foot or so but it was enough to throw off my balance sending me falling right into the door slamming it shut. As I slowly got up off the floor I grabbed my shouldering wincing in pain, I was sure to have a bruise by morning.

It was hard to see in the closet now that the door was shut and there was no light. After a few seconds of blind searching I found the door handle and turned it to open, but instead of the light from the hall all I was meet with was resistance. I turned the handle again giving it a firm tug but still nothing. After the third tug I had begun to panic.

Why wasn't the door opening? I knew that the door had a problem of getting stuck but Abe never mentioned anything about it locking. I gave up tugging on the door instead I began to pound on it as my situation started to fully sink in. I was trapped. Just like last time. I could feel myself begin to shake as the memory started to come back in force.

The room was hot and dark. I blinked my eyes a few times trying to adjust to the darkness but I couldn't make out anything. I tried to sit up but as I went to push myself up off the floor I couldn't get my arms to move. I felt a hitch in my breath as I realized they were tied. I struggled against the restraints but they didn't budge. I tried to figure out where I was but it was just too dark. I had to get up. I had to move. I tried to roll over onto my knees so I could stand, my breathing became more ragged as I realized my ankles had been bound too. What was going on?! Before I could ask myself anymore questions I heard a creaking noise. I turned to the noise automatically, squinting as the room was suddenly flooded with light. I sucked in a breath as I saw there was a person standing in a doorway. I was about to call out to them to beg and plead for their help but as my gaze fell upon their face all I could do was scream.