She wore her scars
as her best attire.
A stunning dress
made of hellfire.
-Daniel Saint
Winry sat up in bed the next night, with every light in the apartment blazing and a large kitchen knife under her pillow. She was taking no chances. The summer storm outside raged loudly, pelting waves of rain against the windows and sending vibrations through the floorboards with every boom of thunder. She fisted her sheets and tried to be strong, but storms frightened her. Nellie was away as usual, leaving Winry alone which she usually preferred but that night she found herself wishing she had the company of anyone, even if it was her awful roommate. It was nearly midnight, and Winry didn't want to wake her grandmother with a phone call or anyone else for that matter, so she leaned back against the wall and pulled her knees to her chest. It seemed that sleep wouldn't visit her that night.
The lights flickered, and Winry's heart skipped a beat.
"No…" She said out loud to an empty apartment. "No please don't go out. Please, please, please."
Her request was denied, and she found herself bathed in darkness. Her heart hammered, not from fear of the dark, but from fear of what the darkness could be hiding and she grabbed her phone off the nightstand to switch open the flashlight app. She hummed a made-up tune loudly as she scurried to the kitchen and rummaged through drawers, finally producing the matches and candles she needed. Once situated with some soft illumination, her anxiety began to fade as she settled back on the bed only to jump out of her skin again when her phone sent a vibrated pulse into her palm. It was a text from the last person she expected to hear from.
[[You have an appointment set for a month from now, should I still expect you?]]
Winry's heart raced again, but it sped for a different reason. There was fear and anxiety, but also a strange excitement. A nervousness crept in her belly at the thought of him, and yet, he occupied her thoughts almost all the time. His next automail appointment was coming in two days, and she desperately needed the money if she ever hoped to move out of her apartment. Especially now that she truly had a reason to look over her shoulder again. She couldn't afford to refuse him as a client, and in all honesty she did want to see him again. She felt bad for what happened at the diner. She also desperately wanted him to finish her tattoo.
[[Yes.]] She typed back. [[I'll be there. Can I still expect you for your arm adjustment?]]
Winry watched the screen as the message changed from 'delivered' to 'read', and waited impatiently for the three grey dots to produce a response.
[[Sure, If you'll have me. Btw I have your date book, you left it at the diner.]]
Winry shot upright. She'd been tearing her house apart looking for that damn thing. Without it she'd have no idea what clients would be coming in on what days, and at what times for which procedures. Prepping would be a nightmare and staying on schedule would be impossible. She silently thanked her lucky stars. Her phone vibrated again, this time with a phone call.
"Can I come by and get my book? I know its late but I really need it. Not having it is giving me anxiety." She answered.
*The weather is fucked, in case you weren't aware.* Ed replied. *Just wait till tomorrow, you can come by anytime. Its late and dangerous for you to go out in this by yourself.*
"I'll get a cab."
*Good luck with that. Nobodies on the street right now.* He reasoned as he looked out the studio's front window at the frightening storm. *Its a damn good thing tornados don't touch down in Manhattan, we've got the makings of one for sure. I'll keep your book safe, just stay home okay?*
A lump formed in Winry's throat. That book was her security blanket, it structured her entire life. It wasn't just client appointments, it was important dates and events, meetings and phone calls with detectives and attorneys. It was information from the parole officer. Every night she looked in that book before bed to know what was coming the next day, and now she would wake the next morning in a panic, fearful that she was forgetting something important. That date book, just like every date book from the last three years, was a timeline of her life. It was one of the last threads holding her together.
"What am I doing tomorrow?" She asked with a shaky voice. Edward felt that squeeze in his chest again. It was becoming too familiar, and yet it nauseated him with each wave. He opened the book and turned to the proper date, finding it's pages filled with neatly written information in black ink. His good concience wouldn't allow him to pry, esspecially after he'd opened her texts without her knowledge so he ignored the urge and let his eyes wander over the neat writing under the date to come.
*You have a phone call with some people named Brosh and Ross? It says to call at 7am.*
Winry smacked her palm to her forehead. She let out an exasperated curse and searched her mind for what to do. She needed that book and the notes that were in it for the phone call, and getting from her apartment to Alchemy and back would be at least an hour, maybe 90 minutes total on a train.
"I'm such an idiot. Fuck, I NEED that book for this stupid call, I'll have to come by tomorrow morning at 6am."
*Whatever you have to do, I guess.* The idea of being woken up that early wasn't ideal for Ed, but the prospect of seeing his client again was the silver lining he could live with.
"You can't do this to me. …I thought we… Are you serious?"
"I'm sorry Edward… I just couldn't handle the loneliness anymore…"
"The loneliness? You couldn't handle loneliness?! I just spent a year in Afgahinstan! Do you have any idea what I've dealt with?! I'm coming home in two weeks to THIS—"
"—She's coming with me Edward."
"…With you? …No… No she's not. She's not going anywhere with you, you hear me?! She's not going anywhere!"
"You're too late Edward…. You failed…."
"YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER!"
Thunder boomed in the sky, shaking the attic as Edward lurched awake with a start. His chest ached from the force of his hammering heart, and he wasn't sure if the sweat poured down his skin from the summer heat or from the horrible memories. He breathed deep as he sat up in bed, still shaking sleep away and gathering his wits as he looked around his small quarters. The room was stifling and his throat was parched, so he got to his feet and made his way downstairs. Turning left at the bottom of the stairs lead him into the studio's small kitchen and he filled a glass with water from the tap to satisfy him before shuffling out to the studio's large front window. Rain continued to hammer the windows and down the street the hanging traffic lights swayed wide in the heavy winds. He was glad he'd convinced Winry not to go out. He sat down on the sofa and immediately leaned to the side, having sat on something unusual and pulled out the simple black daily planner of hers. Lightening flashed outside illuminating the studio briefly and he wrestled with wether or not to read the planner. He set his glass down on the floor and decided that one little page couldn't hurt. Flipping open to a random spot, he didn't find much interesting. Clients from 10 to 5, dinner with someone named Rebecca after. His gaze fell to the next day. Work again, then dinner at Gran's. He looked at one last day and found something that piqued his curiosity. 9am hearing, afternoon doctor's appointment, meetings with Detectives Brosh and Ross.
That word caught his eye. Detectives. He thumbed through the planner some more, and found more of the same, but it troubled him. Doctor's appointments, court hearings, meetings with detectives. It didn't take much for Edward to connect the dots; this obviously had something to do with the phone call she'd gotten a few weeks back causing her to run out of the studio. It also clearly had something to do with whoever was following her. He was no stranger to a life full of legal hearings and sit downs with police. His life became nothing but a constant headache when he came home from his first tour of duty, his wife and all her drugged-out ridiculousness almost made him wish he were back at war. Almost. He spent the better part of a year going through a hellacious divorce, among other things and even worse to come. It was a stroke of luck that the Police Commissioner was his Commanding Officer during his first tour, so having the former Colonel on his side helped make a horrible situation as bearable as he could. It was always good to have friends in high places.
Edward closed the book and looked out on the frightening weather again as his thoughts drifted back to Winry. She seemed lonely. This book that meant so much to her showed him her life was consumed by work and the type of meetings that could only be stressful. Something deep in his gut told him they could have something to do with her fearful disposition, and he'd bet his last dollar that the massive cuts marring her back had a part in all of this. He decided in that moment to make a bold move, and took his empty glass back to the kitchen before returning to his room to pull on some clothes. After descending the stairs again and pulling his boots on he grabbed a red hoodie from his office and grabbed Winry's planner before heading out into the storm. He needed to get out of the house, the rain would feel good and he wanted to do something for Winry. He wanted to see something he didn't see nearly enough. He wanted to see her smile.
By the time Ed reached Winry's building from the subway he was soaked to the bone, and had long abandoned the hood that obscured his eyesight in his attempt to keep a dry head. Nothing was dry, but at least he could see where he was going. He buzzed her apartment and it was that moment that he realized he should've called to say he was coming. He wasn't even sure that she was home, he'd only assumed. A beep sounded and he spoke loudly over the noise of the storm into the speaker.
"Winry it's Ed! You home?!"
A few seconds dragged by, and just when he was about to leave he heard the door buzz and he pushed in.
Winry stood next to her door, wrapped in a blanket as she rubbed sleep from her eyes and waited for Edward. It was 2am, and she wondered what the hell he could want so late at night. She was honestly too tired to be concerned as she stood waiting in her dark apartment. A few moments later she heard boots squeaking against the wooden floors in the hall, and a knock on her door. She opened to a soaking wet Edward.
"Where's your umbrella?" She asked, waving him to come in as she shut the door behind him.
"I don't own one. I needed to get out for a bit, figured I'd bring you this in the meantime." He unzipped his hoodie and reached in, producing a flat parcel wrapped in a plastic shopping bag. Winry unwrapped it and revealed her planner. Sheer joy overcame her, and her mouth fell open as she gaped at him, so beyond thrilled to have her precious planner back. Emotion surged her into action, and she threw her arms around him.
"Thank you! Oh God thank you so much Ed, you don't know what this means to me. Thank you."
Ed breathed out and smiled a little, returning the hug carefully. He wanted to see her happy, he'd gotten more than expected. She separated a moment later and took in his appearance.
"Good lord, you're soaked. I feel bad."
Ed shrugged casually, feigning indifference. He would never let on that his boxer-briefs were soaked through and he was starting to chafe.
"It's not a big deal. I should probably get out of your hair anyway, I'm sorry I woke you and I'm sorry I showed up without calling."
"Are you kidding? I'm thrilled you came." She said. Partly was because she desperately needed her book, the other part was because she was happy to see him. Ed noticed the darkness of the apartment.
"I'm guessing the building is out? The hallway and stairs were dark when I came in."
"Yeah, we lost power. Sucks because…" She twirled a lock of hair around her finger nervously. "…Nevermind."
"Out with it." He smirked at her.
"I'm afraid of storms." She said somewhat breathlessly. The only reason she wasn't so afraid to admit it was because her fear greatly outweighed her embarrassment. "I don't want to be stuck in the dark alone during this weather." She silently pleaded that he would stay, and she got her wish as his mouth curled into a grin and he shrugged out of his wet hoodie.
"Don't worry, Rockbell. I'll keep you company."
Thunder boomed loudly and Winry jumped, instinctively grabbing the front of Ed's shirt.
"I feel bad, your clothes are wet and cold. You can't stay in these, you should take a shower to warm up." She said, looking up at him.
"Sounds great, but how does that work if there's no power?"
"This building is really old, it's wired on separate lines to maintain the plumbing and laundry without the whole place going out constantly. The water and washer are still on, we just don't have lights." She explained.
Ed raised his brows. "You have laundry in the building?"
"Even better, we have it in the unit." Winry said.
Ten minutes later Winry had poured herself a glass of wine to calm her nerves as she waited for Ed. She heard the shower turn on and he called out to her so she would know it was safe to come in and retrieve his wet clothes. As she walked to the opposite end of the apartment and opened the sliding door to put them in the dryer, she had to block out her imagination's idea of what seeing Edward naked might be like. Her motions slowed as she turned the dial to start the dryer and she returned to her wine. It had been years since she'd been this intrigued by a man. It had been years since she'd allowed any man to get close to her, men made her incredibly nervous, and yet for some reason the nervousness she felt around Edward wasn't fearful. It was excitement.
She had to admit to herself, he was incredibly good-looking with that long blonde hair of his and that dashing grin, and those eyes. She had never in her life seen eyes like his. Large and assessing, sharp and focused, and such a beautiful, brilliant gold. She feared making eye contact with him for too long, she may just lose herself in his eyes. As she went back to sit on her bed in the living room the bathroom door opened and Edward emerged from a cloud of steam wearing a white towel around his waist and little else. Winry had stressed that as long as he was comfortable with it, it wouldn't bother her in the slightest because she saw naked bodies all day in her line of work, but seeing him standing there with the soft glow from the candle illuminating his wet skin made her swallow hard. Sure, she'd noticed during his initial examination that his body was …impressive, what she hadn't noticed before was how a ball of fire seemed to zoom straight to all her naughty bits at the sight of his toned muscles, that shit-eating smirk, and of course the curiosity-inducing bulge happening just below the towel's edge. He looked less like a mild-mannered tattoo artist and more like the rugged, muscular male leads that graced the covers of the harlequin romance novels she snuck from her grandmother's room as a teenager. It took every ounce of will to tear her eyes away from him.
"You okay?" He asked with a smart grin.
"I'm fine." Winry chirped a little too quickly as she took another gulp of wine. "Yup, totally fine. As long as you're fine. Are you fine?"
More grinning.
"I'm fine." He knew he made her nervous, the way most women were around him, and he liked how awkward she was. It was downright cute. He decided to dip a toe in and test the waters. "I only ask because you're looking at me like I'm a steak dinner."
He watched her face in the low candle light as he moved to sit on the bed near her. She didn't inch away, and her pretty blue eyes followed his every movement. Maybe it was the mood, or the circumstances, maybe it was just the wine, but for the first time in forever Winry was feeling brave.
"I haven't had steak in a long time." She said, giving him a lingering look as she sipped her wine. "Would you like some wine?"
Edward declined with a simple shake of the head, he was far more interested in the not-so-subtle hint she'd just thrown him and he decided that if metaphors were to be the dialogue of the evening, then so be it.
"You're not a vegetarian, are you?" He said, leaning in ever so slightly with an earnest look. He silently prayed that his assumptions were right; there was no way a woman who might be celebate or gay would ever look at him like that.
"No, its just …been awhile. The last time I had steak it was…" Her words died in her throat as the images flooded back, and Edward immediately noticed her pupils reduce to pinpricks as she seemed to be a million miles away. His eyes sharpened as he picked up on the telltale signs; the lost gaze, the worried brow, the shaking hands. He'd noticed before how this seemed to be common for her, and he carefully pried the wineglass from her fingers to set it on the window's ledge before taking her hands in his.
"Don't think about it." He said to her low and calm in the darkness. He began to slowly move his thumbs across her knuckles, back and forth as he held her hands in his. "Concentrate on my voice. Focus on an outward feeling, something physical. Find something tangible to bring you back to the present."
He watched her intently, waiting for her to blink back to awareness, but it wasn't happening and his eyes followed a tear as it slowly made it's way down her cheek.
Edward reached out to wipe the tear away, and the moment his automail touched her skin she shrieked and knocked his arm away as though it were red hot. Winry's breath came in gasps as she backed away on the bed frantically and blinked in the darkness. She stared back at his alarmed expression and wanted to hide out of sheer embarrassment.
"Winry… what're you afraid of?" He questioned quietly. A few beats passed in which he received no answer, and he sighed as he rose to walk to the dryer. Deciding that his pants were dry enough, he pulled them on and discarded the towel before reemerging in the living room where he stood gazing at Winry.
"…Are you afraid of me?"
A/N: many thanks to all who read and review. Your thoughts on each chapter are giving me life these days, as i've been immensely stressed. My boyfriend and I are trying to find a new apartment and the market in nyc is basically a giant shit show of mass hysteria, so the tiny moments when my phone chimes with a review are a welcome relief thats difficult to convey. In short, your reviews make me sublimely happy.
Sidenote for fun: the way i've written Edward in the Perfect Blood universe as well as this fic is directly based on my boyfriend of the last 5 years. They literally have the same personality/mannerisms, so whenever someone tells me that they love the way i've written Edward, it makes me especially proud.
More soon!