"There was a goblin, or a…trickster. Or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or…reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world." –The Doctor
Culpa
"Is that this year's top rookie, Sasuke Uchiha?" Asuma asked quietly as the jounin gathered around the Hokage's desk. Kurenai shifted to allow Kakashi to see the glass ball in which Sasuke's bored face appeared. As a sharingan user, she knew that the name Uchiha would grab his attention.
"Yes," Sarutobi replied quietly, the corners of his lips pulling down at the quiet reminder of their village's failure to one of their most prestigious clans. As the sole survivor of the Uchiha massacre, Sasuke garnered a lot of attention and also a lot of scrutiny. The boy was pressured to be the best, better than any that came before him, and it seemed to age the child beyond his years.
Kakashi's one eye took in the boy's seemingly uninterested attitude as the image shifted to the rest of the class. Shikaku's son, Shikamaru, was also one of the top class members. The only thing holding him back was the Nara's inherited laziness.
Bright blonde hair pulled his attention, whisker marks on smiling cheeks. Minato's boy, Naruto. He was sitting between to the academy's laziest student and the Inuzuka boy, blue eyes –the same shade as his sensei– were watching the females compete to see who got to sit next to Sasuke. Kakashi blinked at them, he could not remember girls ever being that frivolous.
Kiba leaned in close to the blonde to say something and Kakashi saw Naruto flinch away before settling, the tattooed boy did not seem to notice. Kakashi's visible eye narrowed at the action, unsettled by what he witnessed and the connotation behind it as the image moved further about the room.
The other jounin began to leave as the Hokage assigned them their teams, allowing each to view their new students in the glass ball before they left to meet the parents of their charges and to get a feel for their home life. The amount of effort jounin put into their genin teams was one of the reasons Konoha was so prosperous. Not every village cared for the wellbeing of their shinobi as much as they.
Soon they was no one left. The copy-nin was the last to get his assignment, and from the look in Sarutobi's eye as they were alone in the office it had been intentional.
"I am putting Sasuke Uchiha on your team," the wizened man began, leaning back in his chair as he puffed on his pipe. "For obvious reasons, of course." It was the most rational choice. With no other Uchiha in their village, Kakashi was the only one who could teach the boy about his kekkei genkai.
When Kakashi inclined his head, the kage continued. "Sakura Haruno does not come from a shinobi family, and though young and in love, her scores show remarkable chakra control. Naruto will also be on your team."
"Do you think that wise?" Kakashi questioned. He tried to keep any emotion from coloring his tone, but Hiruzen easily heard the hesitance within it. He also heard the guilt.
"It is not your fault, Kakashi-san," Sarutobi chided him softly. Whether it was for his failure to protect Kushina or to protect Naruto he was unsure.
"I could have been there for him." Even as he spoke he knew it was a lie. His eyes were drawn once more to the blonde before they looked away. Even if Kakashi had not been more than a child of eleven, broken and emotionally stunted from war and death, he doubted anything would have changed.
It was hard to look at Naruto knowing his failures. The boy looked so much like Minato-sensei.
Kakashi was unsure that even if he had not been submerged so deep within Anbu he thought he would never see daylight again, that he would have taken the child in. Having a constant living reminder of those he had loved and lost was not something he was keen on discovering if he could or could not live with.
His father could not, and the shame of what he did still affected his son eighteen years later.
"No," Hiruzen sighed after a long moment of silence. "You could not have." Kakashi was ashamed that agreed. "Come, I think I would like to walk with you as you learn of your students."
The walk to the Uchiha compound was almost leisurely, the day bright and warm as they wound their way through the village's main road. They did not converse as they walked, and if one could ignore the Anbu that shadowed the Hokage's every move, one would say it was peaceful.
Kakashi's fingers twitched as he desperately wished to pull out his book and escape the growing feeling of dread the closer they got to the compound, but he knew better than to do so in front of the Hokage. Although he doubted it would offend the old man, Kakashi could not help but think it was disrespectful in the sort of way that could not be forgiven.
He had not been there since Obito's death but the compound was just as he remembered it. The buildings were clean and well maintained, the garden sprawling and beautiful. One could not even see the bloodstains, but the scent of death seemed to linger over the place. The wind howled through the narrow space between empty homes, the only sound in the near silence.
"This is no place for a child," Hatake remarked after a long moment as they entered the main home. The house was bare of all nonessentials. There were not even photos hung upon the wall. The only rooms that looked lived in were the kitchen and Sasuke's bedroom.
Hiruzen sighed softly as he glanced further down the hall, doors closed and rooms left untouched since the massacre. "Better men than me have tried to get the child to move from here, but the boy refuses."
"And as the last Uchiha, you cannot demand he leave his clan's compound," Kakashi finished for him.
Aside from the haunted like feel to the place, it was not a terrible place to live. The boy was well stocked. His food cupboards and refrigerator were full, weapons and books plentiful, and medical supplies bountiful. The only thing missing was company and a steady parental figure but that could be overlooked. Sasuke was hardly the first orphan living on his own, and he seemed to be doing well for himself.
They left an hour later, Anbu trailing after them as they made their way to Naruto's apartment. Kakashi followed after Hiruzen, hands in his pockets and a frown on his face as they made their way deeper into the seedier part of the village. Just barely a year retired from being an Anbu captain, he had never taken the time to discover where his teacher's son had lived. Part of him now wished he had.
The apartment complex they stopped in front of was old and dilapidated, leaning slightly to one side. It was pressed in between a dingy tattoo parlor and what Kakashi recognized as a whore house from the symbol in front. His visible eye darted to the Hokage as if to silent ask if he was sure they had the correct location, but Hiruzen's frown confirmed his suspicions.
Kakashi was wrong before…this was no place for a child.
They entered the lobby slowly, the door creaking ominously and Kakashi was hesitant to touch the handle even with gloves. If he had hoped that the inside was better maintained than the outside, they were dashed quickly. As his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting he took in the rather portly man behind a desk watching some old movie on a battered television.
The man looked up when they approached, and when his eyes fell on the Hokage he scowled. The reaction was surprising and set Kakashi immediately on edge.
"The little shit's not here," the man bit out, tone bordering between rude and disrespectful.
"Yes, I am aware," Hiruzen sighed, barely even blinking at the other man's reaction. Kakashi was surprised the Anbu did not immediately arrest him on principle. "I will have the key either way."
The man's scowl deepened, glare tightening the plumpness of his face. The seconds seemed to draw out for an eternity before he turned away, reaching into a side drawer and withdrawing a key. He did not quite throw it, but it was close. "Rent's due next week," he reminded, voice tight before his lip twitched upwards in poorly disguised amusement. "With an additional fifty." He offered no excuse for the added fee and Sarutobi did not ask.
Hiruzen turned his steely gaze on the man and he seemed to whither for a moment before he collected himself and stared back. After a moment the Hokage turned away without a word and they began to climb the rickety steps. They walked up seven flights of stairs that creaked and bowed under their weight and at times Kakashi worried that they would break underneath them.
The door that Sarutobi unlocked was dented and scratched. Kakashi pressed his fingers to one of the deeper grooves curiously. It looked like a kunai had been the culprit. Pulling his hand away, his fingertips came back stained red. He rubbed his thumb over them, watching the paint particles stain his skin. If he looked close enough he could just make out the word monster on the door.
Someone had spent a lot of time trying to wash the hateful accusation away. Kakashi doubted it was the landlord and he could not help but feel guilty as he pictured a younger blonde child on his knees scrubbing at the paint with soapy water and teary eyes. He imagined the boy so angry that he tried to scratch the word out instead when the water could not wash it all away.
"This is the only place that would take him," his voice sounded ancient and sad, drawing Kakashi from his observation of their surroundings. The apartment was an open layout, everything but the toilet and shower contained in one room. The wallpaper was peeling, the furniture nearly falling apart, and there was a leak in the roof, but the place had character.
Posters and knickknacks decorated every available space, the taste eclectic. Nothing seemed to match which made everything seem to flow perfectly together. It was an organized chaos. When he looked closer he realized that there was nothing of value anywhere. Not even the furniture. He pondered if it was because the jinchuuriki was used to being robbed or he just did not care about possessions.
"You could force the issue," Kakashi began hesitantly. While he considered himself friendly with the Hokage, the man was his boss and he was unsure how his advice would be received.
Sarutobi smiled sardonically at him. "Do you not think I have already tried that…it did not end well." He looked away ashamed. "Naruto spent nearly two weeks in the hospital the last time I forced the issue. At least the man downstairs does not advertise that the boy lives here, even if he does charge nearly three times the amount over everyone else."
He tried to imagine what the words implied. Perhaps a group of people came into Naruto's home, perhaps they waited outside for him. He did not like the thought. He liked it even less when he realized it must have been something truly horrific to keep a jinchuuriki hospitalized for more than a few days.
Kakashi looked away then, something tight in his chest making him unable to look at the saddened expression on the Hokage's face. "Sometimes," he whispered quietly, almost as if to himself but still loud enough to be heard by even the Anbu who were fluttering just outside the room. "Even though I love this village…sometimes I hate its people."
Sarutobi smiled softly at him, agreeing silently but unwilling to ever speak so aloud. "Well," the old man sighed, adjusting his hat as he pulled out his pipe. "I'll let you get to the last visit on your own. I'm afraid that my break is quite finished and I dread the amount of paperwork that has accumulated since I left my desk. Take care, Kakashi-san."
The Hokage left then, walking out the front door as the Anbu followed. Kakashi remained for another long minute or so, gaze flitting about the room but not really seeing anything. He pulled his mask down, back to the window, and inhaled deeply. The scent of sunshine, leaves in the wind, and lavender blooming in summer filled his nose. It was delicate almost, but something else lay under it, something darker…almost sinister. It smelled like despair.
Grimacing, he pulled his mask back into place and made his way to the window. He had one more visit to make before he met his new students.
As he knocked on the Haruno family front door, Kakashi wondered if this team –these students– would be the ones to finally pass. Part of him did not want them too, simply because he never did well around children, but another part hoped they did. He wanted to see what they would become.
0~Page_Break~0
When Kakashi finally entered the classroom, it was three hours later and slightly more cheerful. He was glad that the Haruno family was kind and normal and everything that Naruto and Sasuke's home life was not. The girl was simple, her room decorated in pinks and florals, declarations of love written in nearly every notebook. But she was happy and that made all the difference.
Icha Icha Paradise barely held a fraction of his attention as he slid the door open, walking slow enough that the eraser plopped onto his head and sending chalk dust into the air in an impressive cloud. The mask protected him from inhaling the substance and the prank was harmless enough that the jounin did not even attempt to dodge it.
Sometimes small things like a prank to ease their collective boredom went a long way in team building, but from the looks on the faces of the other two children, Kakashi doubted that it had had that affect. Naruto was laughing loudly, pointing at him as he dodged the fists of his female team member while she was also trying to apologize to their sensei. Sasuke looked entirely unimpressed by the whole affair.
Snapping the book close, he placed it in his jacket as the three genin finally seemed to settle down and gather in front of him. "My first impression is…I hate you. Meet me on the roof," and then he was gone.
Kakashi could hear his new team racing up the stairwell, yelling at each other as they tried to be first out the door. Leaning against the railing, he smiled softly as Naruto and Sasuke tumbled onto the roof, throwing elbows and glaring at each other in a childish form of rivalry as Sakura shouted behind them. The whole thing was rather amusing.
It took several minutes to get them settled on the curved steps before him, Naruto sitting a little further away from the other two as Sakura had attempted to pummel him for elbowing her Sasuke in the face. "Okay," he started, trying to preemptively end another verbal battle that he could see about to surface if Naruto's expression was anything to go by. "Introduce yourselves. Your likes, dislikes…dreams…etcetera."
The silence seemed to stretch on as his team just simply stared at him. Kakashi was about to just start calling names when the pink haired girl raised her hand hesitantly, biting her lip as if unsure how to proceed. He nodded his head in her direction and her hand darted back down quickly, a look of relief on her face.
"Why don't you go first, sensei, so we know what to say." Her gaze turned to the Uchiha, lashes fluttering over her blushing cheeks.
Kakashi sighed loudly as he leaned more of his weight upon the railing, elbows resting on either side. "My name is Kakashi Hatake, you can call me Kakashi or Kakashi-sensei. I'll even respond to master if you are so inclined." His students simply gave him a blank look so he cleared his throat and continued on. "I have many likes…a few dislikes. My dreams are my own. Your turn, pinky."
They looked between each other in confusion. Kakashi could see annoyance coloring Sasuke's look of feigned apathy and he called it a win. "Alright," Sakura began hesitantly. He brought up her file mentally as he half listened to her love filled answers. She was a fairly average student with fairly average looks. Her specialty was chakra control, since she did not have much, and maybe –really stressing the maybe– strategy.
When she was finished practically declaring her undying love for Sasuke without actually saying it outright, said boy began his introduction. Every word spoken seemed to ooze drama with a dash of woe-is-me. His file was a little more impressive, excelling in ninjutsu followed closely by taijutsu. Everything else about him was pretty ordinary.
He was no Itachi, which was for certain.
The blonde jinchuuriki was the last to introduce himself. Naruto bounced in place with excitement, arms waving around widely and Kakashi was grateful that the boy was sitting so far away from the others or he feared that they would have been hit. Uzumaki's file was abysmal. He was dead last in everything, the only reason he passed the exam was because of an incident with one of his instructors.
He had heard that the boy had also learned kage-bunshin, which was a feat within itself. Kakashi knew that the Uzumaki's were powerhouses when it came to chakra, and Naruto would even be more so because of the kyuubi.
Just as Naruto declared himself the next Hokage, Kakashi brought himself back to the present. He had a cupid love struck pink obsession, an emo avenger with drama queen tendencies, and the village idiot that housed Konoha's deadliest secret. At the moment he was unsure if he had good luck or extremely bad luck when it came to his team. Only time would tell.
Sighing softly, he pushed off of the railing and placed his hands on his hips. "Meet me at training ground four at oh-five-hundred tomorrow morning for your survival training. And don't eat breakfast, you might throw it up."
"But Kakashi-sensei," the pink thing -Sakura- he corrected himself began. Her hand was raised as if to grab him to halt his retreat. "We already had survival training." The way she said it was if both remind him and ask if he was stupid in the first place for forgetting.
Kakashi gave her a vicious smile that was barely hidden behind his mask. "Actually," he then spent the next few minutes filling them with terror and enjoying every second of it before he yet again used shunshin to disappear. He did not go far, settling on a sturdy tree branch only a few dozen yards away as he observed his new team.
There was only so much he could learn by invading their homes and interacting with them. Much of what he would learn from them in the coming days would be under observation that they were not aware of.
Masking his chakra in case one of his team members were more advanced than they let on -he would not put it past the Uchiha- he watched as Sasuke left after a moment of silence and a disgusted scoff in the back of his throat. Clearly Kakashi had not left a good impression on the high and mighty Uchiha.
Sakura ran after him, dogging his footsteps as she asked him out on a date. She fluttered about him like a bitch in heat and Kakashi did not know whether to feel fond amusement or disgusted exasperation by the display.
The moment they were gone the smile seemed to slide off of Naruto's face like ice. His expression was almost glacial with how little emotion was displayed. Blue eyes were riveted on the backs of his teammates and Kakashi could not help but think that the boy looked completely and utterly broken.
The child blinked and the moment was gone. The smile slipped back onto his face like it had never left, as if it were a mask that was worn and not an emotion to be felt. Now that he was looking for it, Kakashi could see that it was a little too wide, just a pinch too big. Once he was aware of it, he realized how fake it appeared, as if he had simply forgotten how to smile or never really learned and was just imitated what he saw people around him doing.
The tight feeling settled back into his chest as he watched Naruto dart down from the roof and race home. He shadowed the boy as carefully as he could, wanting to make sure that he got back safe. Naruto took the least used routes, sometimes jumping up to the roof tops to avoid Konoha's citizens. When he made it back to the apartment he used the window, and after meeting the landlord, Kakashi would have made an effort to avoid that man as well.
Once he was sure that the boy was safe, he left for his own apartment. He tried not to let the guilt dig itself any deeper when he realized that although it was not the best of places to live, it was far better than the one Naruto had raised himself in.
As he settled himself on the couch, bare feet reclined on the coffee table, he hoped that his team passed, simply for the fact that it made it easier to help the boys. An adult figure in their life could only benefit them at this point, even if that adult was probably more damaged than they were themselves.
Kakashi sighed softly to himself. It was moments like these where he wished he had not retired from the Anbu. Somehow he believed that the special assassination and tactical squad would have been easier than training those three.
He wondered how Minato-sensei did it.