You were a risk,
a mystery,
and the most certain thing I'd ever known.
-Beau Taplin
*If you don't come back and get the rest of your stuff I'm gonna throw it out. You're lucky I'm even being nice enough to call you.*
Nellie was on the rampage, and Winry found herself rolling her eyes as usual and asking herself that all too familiar question: why me? The phone call had come early -7am on a Saturday- and had woken her from the sleep it took all night for her to achieve. Every time she closed her eyes she thought of Edward. Winry thought of the fight at the auto mail shop, how accusatory she'd been -how STUPID she'd been. How she'd yelled at him. How they'd yelled at each other. It may not have been nice, but Edward wasn't wrong when he called her a bitch. Winry sighed heavily as she sat up on her floor-supported mattress.
"What stuff? I could swear I got everything out." She asked.
Nellie was in no mood for pleasantries -not that she'd ever had many for Winry before- and she smoothed out the front of her Burberry sweater and cast her eyes to her packed luggage by the door. She would have to take a later train to her family's house upstate.
*You left a bag of tools and a sweatshirt. I need you to come get them now before I put them in the garbage, you're making me late.*
Winry's bristling anger almost convinced her to tell Nellie exactly what she could do with said bag of tools, but she stopped.
"What sweatshirt?" She questioned as she clambered to her feet and began shuffling around her chilly sublet for the day's outfit.
*It's a red zip-up hoodie.*
Images once again shuffled through Winry's mind, this time in rapid fire. The storm, him showing up in the rain to return her book, the chair he'd hung the sweatshirt over to dry, his shirtless sculpted body, the way he held her hands, the beautiful split-second when their mouths met, the way she'd wanted to be devoured by him.
"Crap." Winry said, snapping out of it. "Okay yea I'll come get them right now."
Nellie huffed, knowing Winry would still be at least another half hour.
*Well just get here ok? I'm not allowed to leave this stuff in the hall and getting you this crap shouldn't be my problem.*
The train ride uptown provided Winry with the free time to reflect on the past two days, and as much as she fought it, the raw bitterness of Ed's usually warm and welcoming voice turned scathing and merciless invaded her and filled every space of her mind. She wasn't sure why she was even going through the trouble to get his sweatshirt back; she knew it was the true motivation behind going uptown. She didn't really NEED the tools, the shop had more than enough, but the sweatshirt would be an excuse to see him.
'What the hell could I possibly say to him? What the hell do you say to someone who's experienced so much loss?'
She shook her head in disgust at herself, knowing that Ed would likely want nothing to do with her, and rightfully so. She'd been unfair to him, but in her defense he'd also pressed her to give up her story before she was ready; in a way it was an eye for an eye, not that she'd intended it.
A fast-paced curve on the tracks rocked the subway car suddenly, sending Winry off-balance and thumping her hard against the back of her seat and soreness spread over her still-healing skin. It seemed that nothing would stop reminding her of Edward that day, and she knew that she would need to swallow her humiliation and force herself to see him. She would have to try to make things right, even if they never saw eachother again after today. She couldn't live the rest of her life knowing that the person responsible for healing her brokenness had in-turn been left broken by her.
Edward Elric was miserable. His first day back at Alchemy the day after the funeral was as if he wasn't there at all; he sequestered himself in his office to drink whisky alone, only emerging to use the bathroom and speaking to no one unless it was urgent.
He made sure everyone understood that nothing that day would be considered "urgent".
Stacks of books and tracings peppered the floor around the sofa he dozed on. Sleep was the only comfort he had from the agonizing recollection of his conversation with Winry. He'd berated himself mercilessly for telling her the truth, partially because he hated telling the story but also because he never wanted to make her feel bad -which he knew he'd done.
Edward had acknowledged both their responsibilities in the dysfunction of their strange relationship -a gross disregard of effective communication was the poison to any hopes of getting along. As draining as it had been to spend all his time trying to figure her out without revealing his own pain, it was proving to be far more exhausting spending his conscious hours wondering what she thought —if he would ever see or hear from her again.
Rationality would ask "why not?", but fear and pessimism wouldn't allow him to be hopeful. That same fear and pessimism was robbing him of a joy he never thought he'd know again, and yet while Edward recognized it within himself, he couldn't bring himself to truly acknowledge it let alone speak it out loud.
Voicing the true depths of his affection for Winry Rockbell would surely destroy him, and that was why he would remain silent -why he would never again reach out to her. It was why she could never know.
His melancholy thoughts were interrupted by a quiet knocking at the door.
"Ed?" The door creaked open to reveal a nervous-looking Envy. "Sorry Ed, there's an issue with a client out here. Scar and Havoc stepped out for lunch earlier and I need help with this guy. He doesn't wanna pay."
Edward squeezed his eyes shut and groaned loudly before sitting up. Golden hair fell loose from normal restraint in wild tangles down his back and over his shoulders, and he scratched at two day's of dark scruff on his jaw. Envy knew better than to ask when he'd last eaten or to mention the shaded circles under his eyes.
"Is he not happy with your work, Ve?" He graveled, having barely spoken a word to anyone.
"He says he likes the tattoo but doesn't agree on the price. Says he didn't understand what he signed."
Ed sighed again and rose from his spot on the sofa, not bothering to make any attempts at looking more presentable for the public eye as he ambled out of his office in his wrinkled black pants and shirt, with Envy skittering nervously behind him and connecting a worried glance with Greed as they passed -he would keep an ear out as he focused on the tattoo he was doing, Edward had little-to-no tolerance for people attempting to not pay and even on his most pleasant days he had a hard time being polite about it.
The man at the front counter wasn't raising his voice to Sheska, but it was obvious he wanted to. His red face and wide eyes paired with pulsing veins and a fair amount of finger pointing to sum up a man who's rage boiled just beneath the surface. Edward sidled up next to her and eyed the man —a lanky character in his mid-thirties with short-cropped sandy hair— and sent him a look to convey his lack of enthusiasm for such difficult behavior.
"What's the issue here?"
The angry man pointed at both Sheska and Envy. "These two are trying to rob me blind. I signed a paper that said it would be $150, and now they're saying I owe $900. This is bullshit, man."
Sheska had produced the signed contract for Ed to look over, and he glanced up at the man's bandaged arm.
"Are you happy with Envy's work?" Edward asked, to which the man nodded. "Okay, here's what you signed…"
Ed's eyes fell to the name on the contract. "…Barry. So yea it's $150, PER HOUR. Not for the whole thing. $150 is our shop minimum and we charge that for little shit — small stuff from flash that we can spit out in less than an hour. You have a SLEEVE. Envy custom drew that for you, I saw her do it this morning. This kind of work takes an entire day, she blocked out her whole schedule just for you, so you're the only person she's making money from today. I'm not gonna pay her a 65% commission on only $150. Custom art costs money."
The red-faced man grew nearly purple and his quiet rage exploded to near violence.
"I'm not paying fucking almost a thousand bucks for this! That's not what I signed! These dumb broads don't know how to properly explain shit and if I knew it was gonna cost that much I wouldn't have stayed!"
Ed pushed his sleeves to his elbows casually and folded his arms to make the man aware that he bore automail, even though he wasn't feeling well enough to fight with it after having it painfully serviced unexpectedly while in Philly. He was already having a bad day, and he'd impressed Sheska and Envy with his calmness considering the circumstances. His calmness was quickly waning.
"Sir, this contract is simple. There's no fine print, no asterisks, none of that shit. I'm a businessman, I don't waste my time trying to con people. It says very plainly what the rate is per hour, and you've been here since this morning. If you don't have the money we can talk about a payment plan and—"
"—I don't need a fucking payment plan!" The man screeched at Ed, eyes bulging in anger and sweat pouring from his brow. He slammed an angry fist down on the black desktop earning a startled jump from Sheska, who then shrank behind Edward with Envy. "I gave the dumb bitch with the glasses $150 and that's all I'm giving—"
"—Get out." Ed demanded. He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and took out two bills, pushing them into the irate man's hand as Ed rounded the desk to show him the door. "I'm giving back your $150 just so you can leave. Get out of my shop and don't come back."
The man stood his ground in protest.
"Well I gotta come back, the dikey one didn't finish, said I'd have to come back for a second session or some shit."
Envy piped up angrily, "Prick! What the fuck did you call me?!" and it was all the motivation that the clearly drug-induced man needed to lunge for her.
Edward had officially had enough. His head was pounding, his right shoulder was throbbing, and he'd been managing to hold back the angry tears for most of the day. It was without preemptive thought that his steel hand latched onto the man's throat and slammed him into the nearby wall.
"No one abuses my staff! Get the fuck out and never come back!" He roared. It was only when the shop door opened and Edward caught blonde hair and blue eyes on his vision's periphery that he released the suffocating man.
"…You're a psycho…" The man rasped as he coughed and clutched his throat, stumbling away and out of the door. "…a fucking psycho…"
Self-awareness suddenly drowned Edward where he stood as Winry blinked back at him at a loss for words. Sheska and Envy's state of mutual shock was no longer the result of the incensed man and was now the cruel irony unfolding before them; they had silently prayed for days that Winry would show up, she seemed to be the only thing that made Edward happy, and her absence was very obviously killing him.
Winry swallowed hard, the red hoodie falling from her tingling fingertips as the images flashed in her mind's eye, the memories of a cold and clammy grip around her neck and visceral, dark eyes pouring over her as she suffered.
Edward reached toward her and Winry snapped to, stumbling backward to fumble out the door. She barely recongnized her own voice as it came out, just above a whisper.
"…I've come at a bad time…"
"Winry wait, please. It's not—"
But she was gone, heart in her throat as she raced down the steps and out the building's front door. Edward watched her hopelessly from the window as she stood on the cobblestoned street trying to catch her breath, and he cursed loudly before turning on his heel and he stormed over to his apprentice.
"That guy was high off his ass, did you agree to tattoo someone on coke?!" He barked. Envy rolled her eyes dramatically.
"Of course not! He seemed fine this morning! He must've taken a hit while in the restroom. The last hour was a pain in the ass because he was so fucking fidgety."
Ed's fists clenched at his sides when he thought of Winry; the look on her face when she saw him with his hand around the man's throat. For the second time in a week shame bulldozed him into the ground, and he glared at Envy and Sheska, trying to convey his inner fiery hell, but they were far too perceptive to not notice the distraught desperation lingering underneath. He said nothing to them as he thundered down the length of the studio and disappeared into the dark abyss of his office, slamming the door hard enough to shake the walls.
"You better fix this." Greed casually warned from his station, having had perfect view of the incident for himself and his client. His black eyes leveled on them, Envy and Sheska exchanged looks before springing into action, the shop apprentice darting after her Master and the receptionist clambering down the stairs and out the front door to chase down Winry.
"Winry wait!" She panted as she ran down the street. Winry stopped at the corner at the sound of her name and turned, watching Sheska catch up to her.
"He was defending us, he protected us." Sheska huffed out.
"He had his automail around that man's throat, he could have easily killed him."
"Ed would never! Come on, you really think Ed is dangerous?"
"You know he is." Winry stated, to which Sheska couldn't argue. Whether you were pro or anti automial, the fact that automail had been weaponized was a brutal truth no one could ignore. It gave power to those who had been previously stripped of it, and while most people used the technology to regain the normalcy they'd lost, sometimes the power would go to their heads.
Sheska had run out into the autumn chill after Winry without grabbing a coat and the hairs on her arms stood on end as she hugged herself to get warm.
"Ed's not gonna hurt you, he's not a violent person. He's just going through a lot of shit. Did he tell you about Noah?" She asked Winry.
"Yes, and Nina as well. He and I... I don't know what's going on between us. We just can't seem to get on the same page and-
"-Because neither of you are being honest!" Sheska stressed, voicing the frustrations of everyone surrounding Edward. "Do you have feelings for Ed?"
Such an upfront question rooted Winry were she stood despite her desperate wish to flee. She flushed and stammered for only a moment before admitting defeat and knowing that beating around the bush was not only juvenile, but ultimately pointless. She knew what she really wanted, and that she could never hope to have it if she didn't release the clutches of control just a little.
"...Yes, but-"
"—Fantastic lets go." Sheska quipped as she grabbed Winry's arm, and pulled her back down the street before shoving her through building 27's entry.
"Ed I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault Ve, that guy was a prick." Edward sighed from the confines of his darkened office. Envy stood outside the closed door.
"Not that… Winry. I know how badly you want to see her Ed. Sheska told me so, and you can't fool her." This made a corner of Ed's mouth tip up slightly, the closest he'd come to grinning in almost a week. Sheska was far too intelligent for most people, and he should've known trying to deceive her would be as fruitful as her engaging in hand-to-hand combat with him.
"We'll get Winry back here Ed, I promise."
"No, I don't wanna force her here. I never did. Anyway it's all shot to shit now, she's probably afraid of me." He remarked bitterly when anger surged in him once more.
Envy paused. "…You're the nicest guy in the world, why would Winry fear you?"
Anger washed away when the corner of his mouth tipped again. It was nice to know that someone still believed in him.
"…Ed… don't be afraid to go after the life you deserve. Don't turn your back on happiness because of the unknown. Nina wouldn't want it."
She knew she took a significant risk, saying Edward's daughter's name out loud. But she knew she was right, and she knew that although he'd pretended, he had never once stopped listening to what he knew his daughter would want him to do.
"You drew flowers for her, Ed. Nina would've wanted you to draw magic flowers for Winry, so you did."
She walked away from the door, leaving Edward on the other side of it with his head in his hands.
"This might be a bad time, don't you think?" Winry asked as they were buzzed in. Each step up the stairs built anxiety in her like the turning arm on a jack-in-the-box, just waiting to burst open. Sheska shoved her through Alchemy's doorway before shuddering and rubbing her arms briskly to try and warm up.
"Go talk to Ed." She insisted as she pulled the jacket from Winry's shoulders and tossed it unceremoniously onto the nearby couch. "Please. He's a wreck. You mean a lot to him so get in there."
Winry was given no opportunity to protest before she was shoved in the direction of Ed's office, but turned on her heel and marched right back to the front of the studio.
"Sheska I can't, it's too complicated and he's obviously angry right now."
"That client tried to hurt me and Envy, Ed was miserable before then, but not angry. Please Winry, you saw his face when you walked in. He's been waiting for you, he's just too afraid to go after you because he's worried about getting hurt again."
Winry's eyes fell to the red hoodie -the prize she'd faced her rotten former roommate to get back, the prize that helped Winry finally tell Nellie to fuck off when she was asked what "automail freakshow client" it belonged to. Winry may have had the balls to finally stand up to Nellie on behalf of Edward, but she still ran out of that apartment like the devil was on her heels. She didn't see much difference between the situations; to Winry, Nellie actually was the anti-christ.
She picked up the forgotten sweatshirt, remembering how she'd unabashedly breathed deep into the fabric once out of her old apartment and onto the street, letting Edward's earthy and comforting smell swim in her chest. She'd come this far, she wouldn't turn back now. A determined look was the last glance she gave Sheska as she tipped her chin up high and strode towards the back of the shop. The door to Edward's office yanked open before she could knock and Winry stared in glaring gold.
Edward's office was a cacophony of clutter. Winry's eyes adjusted slowly to the lack of light, the only illumination provided by gothic wall sconces and dripping white tapers on the desk. A dozen single flames danced shadows along the walls, casting a warm glow over the tufted baroque sofa and the tall piles of papers and and books. Edward crossed the room away from her and Winry carefully shut the door behind her, sealing them into the darkness together.
"Sorry I scared you, I'm in a bad mood today. Why are you here?" He said curtly before finally turning to her, his brilliant golden eyes cutting the darkness like the candles around them.
His glare reduced to a state of frustration and exasperation upon seeing her there, exhausted from the emotional back and forth between them. Edward knew what he wanted, and while he had never been a timid man he was always cautious. But he was tired of his agony, tired of the mixed messages, and tired of watching Winry slip through his fingers like smoke due to their messy pasts.
"I'm not afraid, just taken by surprise. I should've called before coming." She said.
Edward made no steps toward her, carefully monitoring his actions to ensure he wouldn't frighten her away. But he could see the difference in how she carried herself, same as the day he'd finished her tattoo. He knew she spoke the truth —she did not fear him.
"Why did you come?" He asked carefully. Delicate fingers curled into the fabric of Ed's sweatshirt as Winry breathed, trying to quell the fluttering of her heart.
"I wanted to return this…" She said somewhat lamely, her voice dying softly as his eyes bore into hers. The weight of the air shifted —becoming heavy, thick, and full of the unresolved tension that had brewed between them for so long. Seeing him again drove home just how badly she'd missed him, and how she'd do anything for them to be on the same side.
"Is that all?" He replied. Not a question, an implication.
"…I needed… I needed to know something…" Breath was abandoning Winry, or rather that her heart raced suddenly faster than it ever had in Ed's presence before. She exhaled, attempting to rebuild some armor. "I thought you might want to know that my back is healing well."
Excuses.
Edward said nothing as he advanced on her slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. She did not step away.
"Why did you come here, Winry?" He questioned with a sly grin, knowing full well the answer but not allowing himself to bathe in the beauty of it until she voiced it. Her pounding heart didn't answer, and looked for a distraction as want's intoxication quickly filled her.
"Um, these candles," Winry said, turning her focus to the dripping tapers on his desk. "You should put them out. They could send this place up in seconds." She set to work blowing them out, and Ed grinned in amusement, watching the yellow glow from the flames intensify in her golden hair as she crept close, before the pillowy pink lips he'd obsessed over for so long drew together to force her breath —obliterating the flame to smoke, curling and climbing high in the ever-growing darkness. As she blew out a candle, he stepped to her. She blew out another, he advanced again. When Edward stood only a breaths distance from her, she stood straight once more, feeling his presence standing over her, the last flame forgotten. His sweatshirt slipped from her weakened fingers, falling to the floorboards as her deep azure eyes drank in the golden beauty that looked down over her, mesmerized by the flickering light illuminating his obvious desire. Edward's voice was deep and warm when he prompted once more,
"Why are you here, Winry?"
"Because I needed to see you." She confessed. "I want you to know how sorry I am."
Edward no longer cared about how she'd forced the truth from him; she knew his secret, and he hers, and still she returned. It was all the invitation he needed.
"Does your back still hurt?" He murmured, his words breathing over her lips as he leaned into her.
"No." She breathed. An automail hand reached slowly to the candle, his forefinger and thumb closing over the wick to snuff out the flame, shrouding them in darkness.
"Good." He said.
And he kissed her.
"What do you want with me, man? I gave you the goods now let me go!"
Barry Bostic was a corrupt cop. His personal lack of enthusiasm for Commissioner Mustang fueled his deviant behavior. He spent most of his free time buying and selling drugs, drinking alone at home, and picking up prostitutes. The run-in he'd had with Edward at Alchemy was his their first encounter, but the person who currently had his hand vice-gripped in the front of Barry's shirt seemed to know Ed, or at least have some grudge against him.
Only it wasn't a person. It was a creature. A robot. A THING.
Their meeting was scheduled via text, their connection made through mutual acquaintances in the NYPD. But when Barry saw what he who scheduled to sell to, he threw the coke at his customer and moved to run away without payment. Until he was stopped in his tracks by a fist holding his shirt collar.
Barry was given no response, only 2 typed letters in an unsealed envelope thrust against his chest before the sound of whirring mechanics left him standing in the quiet alley alone again. Shaking fingers attempted to hold the typed letter steady as Barry read its contents:
WRAP THE SECOND ENCLOSED LETTER AROUND A BRICK AND PUT IT THROUGH ALCHEMY'S WINDOW IMMEDIATELY.
IF YOU DON'T, I WILL KILL YOU.
BRING ME ALL PERSONAL FILES ON EDWARD ELRIC AND WINRY ROCKBELL.
IF YOU DON'T, I WILL KILL YOU.
BRING ME EXHIBIT A FROM EVIDENCE ON THE ROCKBELL/ARCHER CASE.
IF YOU DON'T, I WILL KILL YOU.
MEET ME AT PIER 91 AT MIDNIGHT.
IF YOU DON'T, I WILL KILL YOU.
Minutes later, a brick shattered through the window at Alchemy.
A/N: This chapter MURDERED ME it was so difficult to write. I wrote it, then hated, then wrote it again, then still hated it. I seriously wrote this bitch like 4 times so THATS why i've been gone! Trust me, every message I got asking where I disappeared to was a turn of the knife, but I'M HERE! I MISSED YOU! And guess what? Some major shit is about to go down. Its on kids.
Thanks for the reads and reviews, I look forward to hearing from you guys! More soon!