Warning: Mentions of blood (semi-description)

She knows Zed and Mara saw her eye. To go that long with the damage uncovered give all a clear view.

Yet they've said...nothing. They talk of trivial things, steering clear of anything to do with the fight that day. And she's thankful for it.

For it won't leave her mind. It always waits in the corner nowadays, making a grand entrance in her empty thoughts and once peaceful dreams. These nights remind her of the weeks when the nightmares were strong after relocating to Xenon, when she had been in the hospital. The therapy had supposedly helped...it had been close to a year since.

She usually wakes quietly, with either a gasp or not a sound at all. Tonight, in particular, she sees Mara rise from her bed slowly, and she holds her breath. She returns her gaze to the floor, covering her mouth with her hands as the memories play in her mind's eye. All that blood...all that blood…it's in her mouth and nose and coating her cheek….

"Paige_"

She launches herself off the cot, barely clearing the bathroom door before she collapses in front of the toilet. The old taste that isn't really there causes bile to rise, but nothing happens as she hunches over the seat, breaths wracking her form. Footsteps hit tile, and she starts at the cool hand against her back, but relaxes when it's soothing.

"It's okay, Paige. It was just a nightmare."

She shakes her head as it bows. No, it was more than that. It had been real before. But Mara doesn't know that, and she can't bring herself to talk, so she leaves it at that.

The touch is calming, and her form slowly loses its shake. Gradually, her breath quiets.

"You better?"

She nods wordlessly, laying her head down on the cool porcelain. Her eye aches and burns, but she can't find the courage to sleep again.

"I can't sleep." She finally mutters. SHe doesn't think Mara heard her, until her friend is pulling her to her feet.

"Let's go clear our heads, then."

She's just stretching when she hears the door swing open and slam shut. She doesn't glance up although she's torn from her contemplation; it could be anyone, and that's the problem. From what it sounds, Mara has intercepted whoever it was, so she returns to stretching after a brief pause.

Stretching has always seemed to bring a peace of mind. As her muscles prepare to work, her mind wanders and eventually plops into blankness...but it didn't seem to work this time.

"Hey."

She glances up to Beck, who stares down at her. Not without expression, but what she had expected was revulsion or at least dread at whatever he would have to say. Rather, it's something she can't quite understand; the name keeps escaping her.

"Mind if I join you?"

"I don't see why not." She folds her legs for a moment as he sits down across from her. After he settles, the silence draws on into awkwardness. With a frown, she pulls on her arm, and steals a glance to see Beck is staring at the floor where his hands rest.

"...Did you need something?"

He looks up at that, but still hesitates as he situates his right foot to rest against his left thigh. "Can I ask you a question?"

"...Sure."

"Your...eye."

She stiffens and sits back up again to look to him. She nods slowly. "...I figured as much."

"You don't have to answer if you want_"

"No, it's okay." He blinks at her with wide eyes when she cuts him off. The smile on her face doesn't feel like a smile, rather like a ghost whose memory haunts even the stranger. "I probably owe you an explanation."

She inhales deeply, closing her eyes and gripping her crossed ankles to ground herself so she doesn't disappear into the memories.

"I was born and raised in Gallium for most of my life. I had gotten to know most everyone in the city, and my friends and I would walk to school every morning. That was back before Clu was in charge and there was no revolution.

I don't remember exactly how it happened, but when I was younger, I became dead set on becoming a doctor. I wanted to help other people, and make them feel better. So as soon as the study was offered, I started taking medical classes to work towards a job in the hospital."

"How old were you at the time?"

"I was fourteen. It took a while to get through the basic courses before I was even allowed to intern at the local hospital, but around the time I turned seventeen, I was offered a start and permanent stay at the hospital. I accepted immediately, and by the time I was eighteen, I was allowed to work on small injuries or illnesses independently, had a few good friends and started the official course work to becoming a doctor. It felt like everything was coming into place like a dream.

Then the war started. Tensions quickly rose between soldiers and citizens, and my studies were put on hold when the riots started to break out. I was needed, and so I obeyed the call. Soldiers and rebels alike had been laid in the hospital, and as things escalated, the more the injuries kept me up at night. Not after that long, it was not just the bloody images, but the sounds of fighting and explosions that kept me on edge late into the night. I started working more; sleeping less. Perhaps that's what got me into danger in the first place...a sleep addled brain that couldn't make the right decisions. Or maybe the fact that my younger self was too naive to step away.

People had begun to evacuate the city, and both soldiers and rebels smuggled people out of the city to different destinations. Multiple came to the hospital, begging us to leave, but most of us refused; we couldn't leave while innocents remained in the crossfire. It became habit to run out into the battle and pull people away to whatever safety we could find. Of course it was dangerous...but we had a need to meet.

One day had gotten really rough. It was...dusty and I was searching for people among the wreckage, trying to dodge weaponry. I spotted a soldier, for which side I couldn't tell, but I could tell they were injured. I had crawled to them, and was checking for a pulse when…" She takes a shaky breath and shakes her head. "Everything was fuzzy...but I remember one point before I had passed out that I was bleeding heavily, and it got into my nose, my mouth….but then everything had gone dark.

The next time I woke up, I was in a hospital, confined to a hospital bed. It hurt to breathe, and my left side was dark. I didn't even realize someone was standing nearby until they stood directly in front of me. I asked them where I was and had happened and….and…"

She finds herself at a loss for words, so with trembling hands, she pulls the hair out of her face. There wasn't even a denial that her eye could have worked, not with the scarring that is cut into her face and overall lack of an eye. She tucks the hair back, before holding out her arm as it shakes to show the faint scarring.

"T-they told me there had been a bomb, and the shrapnel had exploded outward. I was one of the first people hit. It had gone off to my left, so it didn't hit me in the chest, but…" She shakes her head. "I was taken out of Gallium, and transferred to Gallium, and they couldn't save my eye. I…."I can't stop stop stop….

Beck's touch prompts her to snap her gaze up to his pained gaze, and he takes her hand.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? We could have helped you sooner."

"I didn't know that." She admits, sniffling as she fights back her previous tears. "I thought I would be kicked out because I didn't make the cut. I was already barred from finishing my studies as a doctor, and I thought that would be the case here."

He squeezes her hand. "I'm sorry."

She blinks at him, brow furrowing but she didn't say a word.

"Is that why you're here?"

"Yes. I'm….I can't sleep."

He nods. "I understand that."

Unsure where else to take the conversation, he lets go of her hand and stands. She takes the hand he soon holds out and follows to her feet.

"If you ever need to clear your head...I don't have much to tell you, but I tend to be here later at night. You don't have to say anything; we don't have to talk. I just figured it would be better than being alone."

She nods, then glances around to see Mara sitting on the bench a short distance away. Her gaze is distant, as if she had heard everything, and suddenly Paige can't look to her.

"Paige." He prompts her attention again, and they meet gaze. He holds the stare steadily, before saying: "Neither of us think less of you because of what you told us."

"I know." She responds automatically with a nod. "...Thank you for listening." She feels...lighter. And sleepy.

Beck must have noticed, because he smiles softly.

"I'll walk you two back."