"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." –Stephen King

Aeternabilis

The mountains were cast in shadow, pale blue upon brown that obscured the faces carved there, giving them a sharper almost demonic look. Light shown from the village below as the moon was but a crescent in the sky, casting the early morning into near darkness. Naruto stood alone at the gates of Konoha, watching with trepidation as the greying night slowly receded into dawn, the sun making its way lazily over the treetops to the east. The clouds burned in orange for just a moment, a cheery color that reminded him of better days.

Tanned fingers played absent mindedly with the plain leather bracelet strapped to his left wrist, claws catching on the thick material. It was a rather boring brand of leather, an almost unbecoming faded brown. Naruto was proud of it either way as he had spent the rest of yesterday and all of the night working on it.

The underside of the bracelet was covered in etched seals, infused with Kurama's dark chakra, pressing against his skin. The two tiny cords that tied it together fluttered in the wind before he tucked his hand into his pocket. Naruto had spent a long while trying to come with some way to attach a henge to an object so he could sleep with the safety of his disguise. It was Kakashi who had actually come up with the idea.

-"What are you working on?" Pale fingers over carved wood, exhausted muscles trembled.

"This…" pause, unsure. How to explain? "It was something your father told me about once. I'm trying to attach a henge to this."

Scoot closer, thighs brush. Yellow hair blowing in wind. "Is it for tomorrow?"

Soft laughter, crease by eye. "You're not supposed to know about tomorrow."

Scoff, press close, shoulders bump. "Yeah, well…is it?" No answer. What to say? "Promise you'll stay safe…promise you'll come back, okay?" Soft sigh, no answer. It has to be enough.-

It took nearly eight hours to recreate what he had briefly seen when Kakashi-senpai had been whittling away at the wood. Naruto himself was no slouch in the knowledge of seals, but his teacher had been a genius and had been taught under a seal master. Only his training under Jiraiya had made it possible for the boy to recreate the seals.

The bracelet allowed those who wore it to be placed under a continuous henge for extended undercover operations. By infusing chakra into the object, the seals would slowly release tiny amounts of it into the wearer's skin, casting a henge and holding it for as long as there was chakra within to be used.

It was not the best solution as the seals could only hold a finite amount of chakra, but it was enough for nearly twelve hours. It was enough time for Naruto to sleep, as long as he remembered to refill it throughout the day. The bracelet was a delicate thing really, the seals far too easy to burn out, the object too easily damaged or removed, and it would never be able to stand against a bloodline like the Uchiha's or Hyuuga's, but for now it would have to do.

The largest downside was having to recharge the seals. Naruto had massive chakra reserves and it had taken the rest of the night to fill the seals without overloading them. By charging them constantly, it would allow for Naruto to keep the levels consistently high so he would not have to take hours out of every night, but it would be difficult to channel his chakra without Kakashi noticing. The man seemed to notice everything.

-"Naruto? What are you doing?" Scream in shock, hurry hide the evidence. Tent flapping in wind, blush high on face.

"It-it's not what it looks like…" laughter, loud and deep.

Shift, sitting on packed ground. Hide deeper under the blanket. "Should I come back maybe later?" Chuckling.

"Shut it!" Mortified, just pretend it didn't happen. "I wasn't doing anything."

Head tilt, nose twitch beneath mask. "You know my olfactory senses are-"

"Oh my gods!" Blanket pulled over head. "Please just stop!"

Laughing, loud and high and cheerful. Nobody was happy anymore. "I don't need to give you 'the talk' do I?"

Groan, hide further under the covers. "Please," begging. "Just go away." Laughing, tent flap falling, retreating. Alone.-

Naruto was exhausted, both mentally and physically. With how long it had taken to make the tiny thing encircling his wrist he had not had the chance to sleep at all. If he was being honest with himself, he had not really slept since he had been cruelly thrust back into his past. Nights consisting of broken sleep covered in monstrous nightmares -memories- had left him terrified to close his eyes.

Lately he had chosen meditation instead of sleep, giving into the urge to climb into Kurama's fur and falling into a state that was neither fully awake nor completely asleep. He was unsure why the kyuubi allowed him to cuddle, but Naruto was thankful. While not fully rested, it allowed the boy to function enough throughout the day that he could pass off as normal. If each day that passed he was a little less…well, no one was the wiser.

This mission had him on edge since Jiji had assigned it to his team. His broken memories of the events left him with feeling like his brain was being carved apart with shattered glass as he tried to place where and when and who. The knowledge about how fragile his disguise was terrified him, the thought of what his team would do, what Kakashi would do if his henge broke.

The most he could hope for would be a quick death.

If his henge failed, Kakashi would have no choice but to assume the worst. Konoha could not take the chance of the kyuubi escaping, and if they studied his seal they would realize that it was broken, open…nonexistent. What would they do to him then? Would Kakashi take him back to the village, or just kill him there on the spot?

His ear twitched as he heard the soft padded footsteps making their way towards him. The scent of sunshine, nectar, and ocean waves filled his nose. Sakura was early as well. She normally was, he remembered. Being early was what had gotten her killed.

-Oh gods! He wasn't going to make it! She dangled there, hands tied, gasping breaths that barely escaped. Can't breathe! She can't breathe!

"Sakura!" Enemy blocking, have to kill them, kill them first, quick! Their slowing him down, can't get to her. Have to make it! Blood splattered, fine mist in air, clogging nose and staining skin. There! He was there!

Cut her down, quick, get the rope off. "Sakura!" She's not breathing, oh gods. She's not breathing! "Come on, Sakura! Breathe, damn you!" Chest compressions, just like she showed. Press, press, press, breathe. Press, press, press, breathe.

"Don't you dare…don't you fucking dare! Breathe!" Press, press, press, breathe. Press, press, press, breathe.

Can't see, tears falling from broken eyes. Blood pouring from wounds. Press, press, press, breathe. Light headed. Can't stop, have to keep going. "Breathe! Damn it! Don't you fucking do this to me!"

Press, press, press, breathe. "I can't do this without you," whispers, broken words on empty wind. "Please…just breathe." Press, press, press, breathe.

Nothing.

"Don't do this to me…" Empty green eyes stare into nothing, broken man holding her tighter, begging, desperate. Unheard, pale skin grows cold.-

His gut twisted unpleasantly and he turned from the sight of the kunoichi making her way towards him. Naruto forced himself to take deep calming breaths as her scent carried upon the wind. He had promised himself that he would not lose her again, but he knew he already had. This Sakura was not the one he fought so hard for, not the one he had helplessly watched strangle to death. She was not the one he had buried under the willow tree near the camp that she had come to love.

That Sakura was gone -lost- and he would never get her back. This Sakura would not be what she had become, he refused to let her. Even if it took everything, even if it took his own death to prevent it, his precious people would be safe…no matter what he had to do or who he had to kill. Naruto would burn the world into ash, make mountains from the bodies of his enemies and oceans from their blood, he would become the monster that everyone feared if it meant that they got to live.

That was his nindo.

Sakura trotted up to him, throwing her pack onto the ground next to his as she awaited the rest of their team. Naruto kept his gaze fixed out of the open gate where the trees lay, tall and green and not burned, but he could feel her green eyes resting on him with that strange look on her face, almost sad. The other -dead- Sakura used to look at him like that, near the end. He wondered what they saw to give him such strange looks.

A chuffing of reassurance heard only by the hanyou settled his turbulent mind. Kurama had been doing that a lot lately, voice warbling in what almost sounded like a cross between a roar and a cough followed by a purr that he could almost feel in his bones. It was meant to comfort, to distract him from the poison that had settled in his mind.

Before, the kyuubi had never bothered with such trivialities and almost wondered what had changed…but he knew. Kurama had been an almost friend the last eight or so years, but now he felt like family. Naruto wished it was because of how much they had seen together, but he knew it was because of his tainted blood. He was a demon now and that part of him, the monster in him, craved the attention of the bijuu.

Sakura huffed in annoyance as Sasuke and Tazuna arrived but their sensei did not. Naruto forced his facial muscles to cooperate as a faux smile turned to her. Sakura smiled back softly, her gaze almost melancholy. When she turned back to look for the absent teacher, his fake smile twisted into something far more bitter.

0~Page_Break~0

Team seven accompanying Tazuna the bridge builder was set to leave the village of Konohagakure no Sato roughly an hour after dawn…so predictably they left around noon.

Sakura had not been pleased when Kakashi had finally shown up and the guards at the gate just rolled their eyes as they passed. The old man they were escorting was well into his second bottle and more mellow than Kakashi had thought possible, taking in the jounin's tardiness with nothing more than a grunt and a flick of his glazed eyes.

Sasuke was leading the group, posture stiff as the others tried to pull him into the conversation. Every time Naruto threw a question at him or Sakura made a comment he pulled a little further ahead. Kakashi was unsure if it was because he was antisocial or if the child was afraid to get attached. It was an understandable fear, one that the copy-nin had on more than one occasion.

Kakashi believed that it may have been more that Sasuke feared to trust. After all, the person he had trusted most betrayed him, killed his family, and tortured him with tsukuyomi if the rumors were to be believed. Kakashi had never experienced tsukuyomi himself, but he had seen victims that had. Many never recovered from the mental strain.

Tazuna was speaking loudly, almost enthusiastically, as he regaled the children with tales of Wave Country. Sakura and Naruto were on either side of him, listening intently and throwing question after question. Kakashi pulled his orange Icha Icha book out, appearing relaxed as he brought up the rear.

It would take five days to reach their destination and the weather looked like it would hold up for at least the first few days. His gray eye darted between his students as Naruto jumped in place and Sasuke muttered something derogatory towards the blonde. If they were good than he would even consider letting them spend a night at an inn instead of camping.

Kakashi felt his attention pull towards their client, observing the drunkard discreetly from behind his book. Tazuna walked stiffly, even during conversation. His glazed eyes would dart around every once and while, occasionally even back towards Kakashi himself as if to be reassured that the jounin was still there.

The man was nervous, far too nervous for a simple escort mission.

Naruto was also tense, fingers twitched and clenching randomly even as he declared it inhumane that the tiny village that was their destination in the Land of Waves did not have ramen. Kakashi wondered if Naruto was picking up his nervousness from their client or if it was something else entirely.

Something was clearly being hidden from the jounin, but Kakashi could not begin to guess as to what it would be until the group was most likely knee deep into it. From the way Tazuna was acting he doubted it was anything good. He had half a mind to call off the mission all together, but they had already accepted and trying to explain that he had a hunch to the Hokage would more than likely sent him to mind healers.

Kakashi would have to wait and see, a tactic that he was far too used to but never enjoyed. At the first sign of trouble, he would get his kids out of there, mission be damned. He briefly pondered upon when they became his kids, but he did not dwell upon it. It was only natural that he would view them in such a possessive way.

He used to laugh at his jounin friends who would parade around their teams, pride thick in their voice as the talked about one thing or another that their kids had accomplished. Some even carried around photographs like a parent would. Gai had only told him that he would understand when he was granted his own youthful team.

Though he would never admit it, especially to Gai of all people, he did understand now. These children were his. He was not there parent, not their guardian, he did not raise them or watch them grow from infancy, but they were his nonetheless. Kami help whomever got between him and his children.

Kakashi promised to keep them safe, no matter what. After all, there was nothing more dangerous in this world than a jounin-sensei whose genin were in trouble.

0~Page_Break~0

Naruto climbed into his bedroll with a groan. His knees were scraped and bruised, stale sweat drying on his skin, and dirt underneath his fingernails. Less than a foot away, in their shared tent, Sasuke did the same. They were both exhausted, falling into their bedrolls without even a passing insult as the fire continued to crackle outside.

After they had set up camp, Kakashi had them working on chakra control exercises. Pretending to have worse control than he really did was more difficult than he thought. It took a lot of concentration to force his body to forget nearly fifteen years of learnt behavior.

Naruto was unsure how it had even happened. He had mentioned something to Sakura in an off handed sort of way, not even really paying attention, and the next moment she was shooting one question after the other to their sensei. Kakashi had seemed more amused than anything, promising to sate her curiosity once they settled for the night. Naruto should have known that Kakashi's sadistic streak would come out sooner or later.

Less than an hour later, he had the kids climbing trees with their chakra alone, learning control nearly a week before they had last time. Tazuna had watched in fascination for several long minutes before he drank himself into a near coma, passing out against a log next to the burning fire.

Only once the sun had fully set and the moon was high in the sky did Kakashi call them for dinner and bed. Sakura had been too tired to eat, choosing instead to crawl into her own personal tent and getting some extra sleep instead. Naruto did not even have to fake his own exhaustion as he tucked away his rations and scuttled into his shared tent.

After spending all of the previous night working on the bracelet and all day feeding it, his own chakra levels were already depleted. When not in conversation, Naruto had racked his brain for any information he could recall about this particular trip. Kurama was no help in the matter as he had been sleeping the last time.

Sasuke shifted around for a few minutes before settling with a quiet snore. Naruto lay in his own bedroll, thankful that Kakashi had decided to take the entire watch himself even as he cursed the man for forcing him through the exercises.

His time spent clawing through his fractured memories was not wasted. Tomorrow they would meet the demon brothers and learn the real reason behind the attack. In two days they would spend the night at a small fishing village before crossing the small inlet. Hours after that, Zabuza would attack and Naruto would drag the comatose Kakashi to Tazuna's house which they would reach on the fifth and following day.

Everything felt like it was happening too fast.

The once Anbu Captain buried his head into his pillow, willing himself to sleep. He felt so unprepared. How the hell had he even survived the first time around? Beside him, Sasuke shifted before settling into a deeper sleep. Naruto could hear Tazuna's loud snores over Sakura's softer deep breathing.

Outside of the thin fabric sat his sensei, tending to the fire and probably still reading that thrice damned book. Naruto let a broken smile grace his features at the thought. Somethings never changed. Even after Konoha was gone -destroyed- and the dead left to rot in the sun because they did not have the time to bury or even burn them; even after their comrades died in the hundreds, elders falling asleep to never again awaken, children crying while covered in their parents blood, Kakashi could be seen with the glaringly orange and always inappropriate book. And somehow, that was more comforting than anything else.

Naruto frowned softly to himself as the he tried to force the thoughts from his mind. He tried to block it out, but in his despair and still fragile state of mind he was unable. Twisting over so he was laying on his back, Naruto prepared himself for another long night. It seemed he would get no sleep this night either.

Sighing softly, the jinchuuriki allowed himself to be lulled into a slight meditative state from the sounds of popping firewood and turning pages. When he was before Kurama he crawled between the giant paws to cuddle against the nearly too hot fur against the bijuu's chest. The kyuubi purred softly, laying his own head down and closing his eyes.

0~Page_Break~0

The following morning found the group in the same formation as the day before. Kakashi was still bringing up the rear, giving him ample opportunity to observe those around him and he did not let that go to waste. Hiding a yawn behind his mask, Kakashi tiredly flipped through the book he knew by heart and watched his companions.

Having taken a large portion of the watch the previous night, he was still relatively tired, but nothing that would impair his performance. In fact, he looked down right chipper. Tazuna was his normal grumpy self, probably suffering from a hangover. The jounin had never seen someone drink as much or as often as the bridge builder. Still, even with the hangover, he was able to continue his conversation with Sakura as he explained the layout of his village and the history behind it.

Sakura was nodding her head in enthusiasm and asking thorough and in depth questions. Given a few more years of polishing her subtlety, she would make a formidable intelligence gatherer. Perhaps if she ever reached jounin she would go into tactics and possibly even interrogation, but Kakashi filed that thought away for later. It was too soon to tell what field she would find herself in for a long while yet.

Sasuke, still in the lead and looking as bored as ever, was pretending not to listen to the conversation behind him. He was far more subtle than many his age, but Kakashi could still read the curiosity in his student as he slowed his pace just enough to hear better. Smothering an amused smile, the jounin wondered how far the Uchiha would go up in the ranks. Further than Sakura - definitely - possibly even Anbu if he worked hard enough.

Perhaps he would follow in his brother's footsteps and go into assassination. His one eye roamed the younger boy's frame as he took in his build. He certainly had the arsenal for it, and a body built for speed and silence over strength. The Uchiha would go far, if his ego did not get in the way.

Kakashi let his eye finally land upon his most confusing student. Naruto was listening to the bridge builder, appearing to be fascinated by the information that the other held, but the jounin could tell that the kid's heart was not into it. The gaki nodded at the right moments and hummed in thought a couple of times, but he was not really paying attention. His movements looked rehearsed and his interest almost a chore.

The copy-cat nin knew that Naruto would do well in the undercover field, shedding and putting on new identities like one would clothes. The kid was good at acting, the best he had seen for someone his age. His career would go far, but Kakashi could not help that think undercover work was the last thing that Naruto needed. The child was damaged and he hoped that with constant contact and support from himself and his team, Naruto would be able to heal some. If he were to go into a career that encouraged anonymity the boy would one day put on his mask and never take it off again.

Kakashi was surprised at how the thought made his stomach twist in an entirely uncomfortable manner. Although he had made it a game, getting Naruto to drop his mask even if just for a moment, he knew that it was in the boy's own wellbeing. Somebody had damaged Naruto so completely that the child thought hiding from any and everybody was the answer, and Kakashi was determined to if not repair what damage there was then at least fix what he could. Undercover would ruin whatever progress he made…if he made any.

The jounin found himself frowning as Tazuna stumbled and Naruto darted away. He tried to make it look like he had stumbled and moved quickly back into position as his blue eyes swept each of his team members to make sure that they did not notice his lapse, settling on Kakashi's curious grey one. Naruto narrowed his eyes in what he thought was suspicion before the mask settled more firmly into place and he smiled at his instructor. The grin was just a little too tight, pulling up into something a more feral before the boy turned back to the front as Sakura laughed at something the bridge builder had said.

The whole incident set Kakashi's mind more firmly in undercover work being detrimental no matter how good the boy would be at it when two unknown chakra signatures and a puddle upon the road on a cloudless day pulled his attention away. Curious