III
"We are falling. The walls cannot hold much longer, not against the pure essence of chaos. We need a weapon. We need something to protect ourselves. Have the gods forsaken us?"
ln 23, page 9, Astral Project Journal 2
He did not like the man that kept visiting father, but he wasn't sure he really had a say in it.
Kaito peered around the door and down the hallway, squinting at the sound of the voices. This was the third time this week the man had visited—who was he? Some kind of businessman? A weird one, judging by his bright green suit and stupid red glasses.
Behind him, he could hear soft giggles and a light hum.
"Kaito," she called. "Come back over here. Haruto wants to play with you."
Kaito frowned as he pulled the door closed and turned towards his mother.
The room was a big one, stretching all the way back to the wood paneled walls and the windows with the rich red curtains drawn against the cool spring evening. A fire had been lit in the grate and its light tinted everything orange—the long couch opposite the fireplace, the coffee table in front of that, the paintings of fruit and flowers hanging on the walls, even the scattering of baby toys that littered the plush, emerald carpet.
His mother sat cross-legged on the floor, the fire sending shards of orange scattering through her pale hair, the same silvery-blue as Haruto's. It struck a pale contrast to the soft, velvety tan of her skin. The bangs fell lightly over her eyes, almost obscuring them completely from sight. The shadows from the firelight cast them fully into shadow. She smiled that soft smile of hers as she swung Haruto's arms slowly back and forth, humming a little tune for the one year old as he wobbled unevenly on his chubby legs. His eyes were bright and a huge smile was plastered across his round face.
Kaito padded back over to the pair and dropped to a sitting position, flopping his head into his hand.
"I don't like him," he said. "He makes me uncomfortable."
"Haruto, or Mr. Heartland?" his mother asked, without looking up.
"Mr. Heartland, not Haruto! Geez, mom..."
His mother pressed her lips together and hummed once, like she did when she was deciding whether she should lecture or not.
"Who is he, anyway?" Kaito said. "And why does he keep coming around?"
His mother shrugged, looking unconcerned. She never seemed concerned with what her husband was doing. "Let him alone, he knows what he's doing," she always said.
"It's your father's business who he deals with. It's your business to play with Haruto."
Haruto's eyes had lit up when he saw Kaito sit down, and he wobbled forward a few steps while leaning on his mother's hands. His arms bobbed up and down, reaching towards Kaito.
Kaito reached out almost automatically to catch Haruto as he took one or two free steps forward and then tumbled. The boy landed heavily against Kaito's chest and Kaito oofed.
"Ugh, he's so heavy," he complained. "Haruto, you're drooling all over me..."
His mother leaned back on one hand, placing the other on her knees. A tiny smile spread over her lips. With the firelight at her back, she looked for a moment ethereal. Her hair shimmering ghost-like, her skin warmed by light, her clouded eyes almost glowing of their own accord. But it was only the reflection of the overhead lights sparkling across her dark eyes. Still, even that looked like a scattering of stars in the depths of space.
Kaito fumbled with Haruto for a moment, settling him into his lap. Haruto immediately began sucking on his fingers, and gripping at Kaito's hand with the other hand. Kaito winced. He had a tight grip for such a little person. Kaito wrapped his free arm around Haruto and sighed. There was something comforting about holding his little brother. Maybe it was just because he was so warm.
Haruto stopped sucking on his fingers and looked up at Kaito with his big, unblinking eyes. He poked Kaito on the cheek—with one of the fingers he had been sucking on.
"Eeww," he said. "Haruto, don't do that."
Haruto poked him again. Kaito pushed his hand away. A smile burst over Haruto's face and he tried to poke Kaito again. Apparently, this was a game, now. Well, Kaito wasn't going to lose. He pinched lightly under Haruto's ribs and started to tickle him. Haruto's fingers dropped from trying to poke him as the laughs started rolling out of him. He wriggled out of Haruto's grip and crawled quickly away towards the scattering of toys all over the floor.
"Where are you going?" Kaito said, grinning. "I'm going to catch you!"
Kaito pushed to his feet. He easily overtook Haruto despite what a fast crawler he was, scooping him up under the arms and swooping him up. Haruto squealed with laughter, wriggling his arms and legs. Kaito hadn't really been expecting that, though, and he yelped, losing his balance.
They both tumbled to the ground and Kaito lost the breath in his lungs as Haruto landed on his chest. He laid there for a moment, gasping. At the very least, Haruto didn't move either, sitting still and staring at Kaito with that wide-eyed look that only babies can have.
"Sounds like you two are having fun," their mother called from where she sat. She hadn't turned around, not that there was a reason for her to.
"Sort of," Kaito said, letting out another groan. "Geez, you really are heavy, Haruto..."
He managed to sit back up, still holding Haruto against him. Haruto poked him in the cheek and giggled. Kaito couldn't help but smile.
"Little troublemaker," he said, briefly nuzzling his head against Haruto's.
The door opened, and Kaito turned over his shoulder. His father appeared with a sigh, closing the door behind him.
"That man gets more obnoxious every day," he grumbled. The lines on his face seemed to melt away, however, as he saw his family. Kaito's mother rose at the sound of his voice, gasping softly as her back cracked. His father quickly tossed his stack of files onto an end table by the door and hurried over to her. His hand slipped under her arm to support her, but she only chuckled.
"I'm blind, not lame," she said. Her hand felt out briefly to find his face, and then she leaned over to kiss him lightly on the cheek. He smiled, but he didn't let go of her arm.
"What, I can't hold you just because I want to?" he laughed. He slipped his arm around her waist and returned her kiss with one to her forehead. She only chuckled softly, her fingers quickly smoothing down the cowlicks in his otherwise slicked back blond hair.
Their father looked over their mother's shoulder to look at the two boys, and he smiled.
"I see you two are getting along," he said.
"Mostly I'm getting drooled on," said Kaito as Haruto squirmed in his arms, trying to get up so that he could run over to their father.
"Same thing," his mother said, drawing a brief bark of laughter from his father.
Haruto tumbled from Kaito's arms and crawled towards the pair of them. Their father swooped down to meet the little rocket, scooping him up and onto his shoulder with a roar of laughter.
"There we are," his father laughed. "Like the view up here, Haruto?"
Haruto laughed as a response, kicking his legs and arms with a fit of excitement. Kaito rolled himself up to his feet as his father shifted Haruto into his arms more firmly. He shook Haruto's tiny hands. He was trying to encourage Haruto to say "dada" in a weirdly sweet voice that made Kaito feel embarrassed as Kaito walked over to the two of them. Haruto responded by patting his father on the side of the face and giggling.
"I don't know, I feel like he should have been saying words by now," their father said. "Do you think something might be wrong? He's all right, isn't he? Come on, Haruto, say dada?"
"Oh, he's fine," their mother said, rolling her eyes. "You worry too much."
She seemed to hear Kaito approach, because her hand found his very quickly. Her hand found its way up to his shoulder so that she could briefly hug him to her.
"Kaa-san, stop," Kaito mumbled. "I'm too old for that."
"Ten is too old to be hugged by your mother? Well, I suppose I'm simply ancient then."
She hugged him again despite his protests, this time twisting him gently towards him so that she could hug him with both arms. He complained a little, but he didn't try to get out of it. After a beat he hugged her back, sighing deeply. Nowhere had ever felt as safe as right here, in his mother's arms. They felt like...wings, encircling him, encasing him in protection.
They stood there for a moment. Mother never went halfway when it came to hugs. Kaito heard his father moving over towards the couch with Haruto, still trying to get him to repeat something.
"You're good with Haruto," she whispered into Kaito's ear. "Thank you for taking such good care of your brother."
"Well...yeah," Kaito said. "That's what I'm supposed to do, right?"
She drew back from him. Her hands remained on his shoulders for a moment, and even though he knew that she wasn't really looking at him, he felt, for a moment, that she was staring right down into his soul.
"Do you promise me that you'll keep taking care of him?"
Kaito blinked. For some reason...the words sent a shiver down his spine.
"Of course," he said, after a beat. "Why wouldn't I?"
His mother's smile was warm, gentle. She squeezed his shoulder.
"You're a good boy, Kaito," she said. "What did I do to be so lucky with the two of you?"
Kaito felt himself blushing, the heat wrapping around to the back of his neck.
"Everyone, sh, sh, sh!" his father said suddenly. "Haruto's trying to say something! He's going to say his first word!"
Kaito turned around and his mother's hands dropped from his shoulders. Haruto's mouth was certainly flapping open and closed, but Kaito was pretty sure his father was just getting worked up over nothing again—
"K-" Haruto said. "K-Ka-Kai. Kai."
Kaito jumped. Was—was that—his name? Was Haruto trying to say his name? His little hands wiggled up and down towards Kaito, his eyes shining and a big smile on his face.
"Kai. Kai," he said again, repeating the sound over and over.
Behind Kaito, his mother let out one of her deep, bellowing laughs.
"You owe me one thousand yen," she called across to Kaito's father, whose eyes were wide as Haruto kept repeating "Kai" over and over. "I called it."
She nudged Kaito in the back.
"Well, go on," she said. "He's asking for you."
Kaito startled out of his momentary shock. Haruto was, indeed, still stretching his hands towards Kaito. He blinked once, and then found his blush getting even worse.
"Haruto, you're embarrassing, too," he muttered as he padded over to his little brother and accepted the big hug that Haruto was so insistent on giving him.
It really was a comforting feeling, he thought again, to hug his little brother.