Howdy everyone!
... jeez, okay, howdy doesn't work for me. Let me try that again.
Salutations! Welcome to yet another episode of Ren's Sufferi-
I mean Ren's Dare! If it hasn't for you guys already (if you're done with it then lucky, lucky you), school's startin' up soon, so that's something.
I would like to thank all of you for your support thus far, as this has been/is my first foray into the unknown territory of writing. Your comments mean the world to me, and I try to take every moment I can to improve my skills and write better tortur-
- I mean, uh, funny moments for Ren.
So, without further ado, let's start the water-boarding!
... I mean, shopping scene. Shopping scene.
;^)
She stretched as they exited the cafe with arms raised and a yawn, pretending not to notice a man tripping over himself across the street as he saw the buxom view. Grinning at the oh-so familiar sight of citizens wallowing in her appearance, she looked over at Ren and she nudged him on the arm with her elbow.
"Alright Ren. Left or right?"
His eyes were on the man who had just fallen over, and the civilian dusted himself off before stealing another glance.
After making sure that the citizen didn't break anything during his staring, he pivoted his head twice. To his left were stores and the road that led to the amusement park; to his right were more stores but no amusement park. It wasn't a very hard choice; he was a stout defender of common sense.
"Right," he said with the opening of his right hand in said direction.
Yang put a her hand in a check mark to her chin. After a moment of 'deliberation,' she spoke with a tilt of her head in the opposite direction. "Eh, I wanna go left."
He suppressed an eye twitch. "Why did you ask me if we were just going left from the start?"
"It's fun toyin' around with you, flower boy." She started walking to the left from the exit of the cafe, Ren begrudgingly moving his feet to follow. "'Sides, I've had Rubes for most of my life so there's not much more I can do with her. Weiss' too easy to mess with, and Blake's Blake. So, it's nice to get someone new."
"Are you saying that everything you've done today is to... 'toy' with me?"
"Of course not! I'm just havin' fun... can't a girl have fun, Ren?"
"If they find pleasure off of someone else's discomfort, then no."
"But you're having fun, right?"
He just made a small noise, a neutral mmph, knowing that no matter what he said, the blonde would do what she wanted to.
"I knew you would see things my way!" She grinned, but Ren just kept walking, eyes glued to the other side of the street as to not let her get the satisfaction of seeing his eyes conceding as he gave a small exhale.
Just keep walking, Ren. You'll get through this. You always do. Weather the storm.
Thirty seconds more of silence passed, and Ren actually felt a slight glimmer of hope begin to glow in his heart. Perhaps he could finally get some silence... some peace.
But such nice things weren't to last for him, and Yang piped up soon enough.
"Ooo! This looks nice!" He looked over by reflex, and saw that they were in front of an Emilie's, the largest clothing brand in Vale. In the blink of an eye, he remembered all of the days he'd spent here, days he'd wasted forced to peruse those fated aisles. "C'mon Ren!"
Yang grabbed his hand and whisked him inside, pulling with the strength of Nora pulling on the last bottle of syrup at the supermarket. He disappeared from the street in a plume of dust, the door rattling as he thought again.
Why, Oum.
Of course, shopping wasn't anything new to the green-clad martial artist; Nora made sure of that. The rambunctious orangette loved each and every opportunity that Ren gave her to go out on the town with him due to his reluctance to do... energetic things overall, and made him become accustomed to all day- or all weekend at one point- shopping trips that he had to partake in.
I did develop rather useful skills, however. I can now carry surprisingly more items than the average man by clenching the bags between my teeth.
Now that he thought about it, it really wasn't that cool.
He narrowed his eyes slightly at the realization before Yang's energetic voice popped him out of his wallowing.
"Alright, so first things first, we're getting you," she poked him on the chest, "a new outfit. Something other than..." She waved her hands a few times at his person. "Pink."
"Yang..." He let a tired voice out.
"Don't 'cha wanna try new things though? It'd be fun! I think you'd look good with a grey jacket... brown?" She started sizing him up, looking at him up and down as if she were judging his appearance.
Shaking his head, he tried a more diplomatic approach. "I appreciate the efforts, but I really would much rather stay with my current color scheme. Perhaps you could look at your outfits? It is your day after all."
She gave him a pointed look, raising an eyebrow and moving her hips to the side a bit as she placed a hand on them. "Are you sayin' there's something wrong with how I dress?"
He remained unfazed, the show not flustering him as it would many other men. "No, I'm simply saying that I don't I need any new clothing."
"Well, that's what you think. You're gonna get a new getup today, Ren."
"... Is there really any point in me contesting this argument?"
"No, not really." She said it in the most nonchalant way, picking at a small blouse and checking the price tag as intonation rose and fell.
Ren sighed for what must've been the thousandth time. "Really, I insist, Yang."
"I insist too, flower-boy. I really think you'd look good in a jacket instead of that same ol' tunic of yours." She muttered to herself. "Grey... yeah, I think that'd work for you. Or maybe?..."
"Is there something wrong with the clothing I've chosen?"
"Well, lemme ask you a question." A smirk rose. "Do you ever get called a woman by people?"
Ren blinked a few times, but remained silent.
She didn't hear me at the cafe, did she?
Yang, although she didn't, had already gotten the answer she needed from the blinks and silence.
"Exactly. We're gonna get you something that doesn't make you look so much like hunt-ress Lie Ren, and more like hun-ter Lie Ren."
After a few more seconds of walking and stopping for Yang to look and comment to herself on outfits, Ren conceded. "Alright."
"Sweet! Alright, come with me flower-boy."
"Please stop calling me that."
She popped the 'p'. "Nope!"
The first outfit was atrocious, and both of them knew it.
Right when Yang picked it out and held it in front of Ren to show him, she was still busy laughing her butt off at the pure yellow track suit, skin tight and blaringly different compared to Ren's color scheme of gentler greens and less eye-popping pinks. It didn't take a fashion expert to tell that the outfit was complete garbage for Ren, and Yang eventually put it away after she was done wiping away her tears of laughter.
"Oh, dude, could you imagine yourself in that thing? Pfthah..."
"To be honest, I actually can't visualize myself in that..." He took another look at the now hung-up suit. "Atrocity."
"Ooo, big words. You're sounding just like Weiss right now!" She made a small gasp. "How would you look with white?"
"I'd rather not wear an all-white outfit, Yang."
"And why's that?"
"From where I come from, wearing an overabundance of white is usually frowned upon. The color white signifies death."
She blinked a few times. "Oh, sorry. Okay, we'll skip that." Just as Ren was going to comment on her change in behavior, she popped right back into her 'fiery' Yang mode. "So why do you wear long white pants?"
He shrugged. "As long as you are not completely covered in the color, it's alright to wear."
"Oh. 's I gotta get you some different pants then..." She made a thinking pose, and Ren just stood there awkwardly before she snapped her fingers and lit up. "How about neon green?"
It was gonna be a long afternoon.
"How 'bout this one?" She held up a collared, button up shirt with repeating patches of lighter green and darker green. Both shades were slightly darker than his shade that he usually donned, and the wrists were a slightly faded white.
A simple design, he thought to himself. Definitely much better than that neon green hat she picked out for me...
Ren had to admit, it didn't look that bad. "Hm," was the only noise that he made, and it was enough for Yang.
"That's not a no, so I'm taking that as a yes or better. Here, hold this." She threw the shirt at Ren, who caught it in one hand before it reached his face, reflexes proving themselves to be useful outside of the battlefield as well.
"Yay? Nay?" She held up another one after they had migrated a bit from their current spot, Ren looking up from his scroll after checking the time; it was one thirty.
She was holding up a tie with black and green stripes going down diagonally.
He rose an eyebrow. "What would I need a tie for?"
"For the next dance! Don't you wanna look good for Nora?" She said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and to Ren's surprise, didn't add any salacious gestures of the eyebrow or hands.
He tilted his head, asking himself both about Nora and her behavior before he spoke. "Uh. We're not toge-"
"Yeah, yeah, not together-together, I've heard it before," interrupting him without batting an eye, but waving a hand. "Yes or no?" She gestured the tie towards him just to emphasize it.
He shrugged, it didn't look half bad. "Sure."
Anotha' one.
It was three thirty now and on top of the shirt and tie, were; a pair of grey pants with green stripes going down the outside that finished with a circle of green at the bottom, some black gloves (Yang said they made a man look sexier, Ren didn't believe her but was forced to carry them anyway), and a simple black tee that she said would help flesh out the color spectrum that they had.
Somehow, she was still putting a pep in her step although the only breaks they've taken were waiting on Ren to change into the outfits. Ren, on the other hand, was trying hard to keep up with Yang's seemingly endless energy when it came to dashing from aisle to aisle, suggesting clothing of all sorts that he was fairly sure she was asking just to make sure he wasn't asleep.
"Ooo, I think you'll like this one..." Ren, whose head was downcast at this point, looked up a bit, and rose his head a bit higher when he fully saw the piece of clothing. In her hands was a simple grey jacket with some red going down the sleeves in three stripes downwards along the arm, collared and simple enough to make him fully blend in as a citizen.
"It's awfully bland," voicing his thoughts.
"Would you rather look like a girl or look like a boring guy?" He blinked a few times. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me."
"The colors are... not bad. Red symbolizes strength from where I come from."
"Oh, so why don't you wear more red?"
"It doesn't quite match with my complexion."
She rose an eyebrow. "Ren, I'm telling you this as a friend, alright? You can make red work as long as you're not slathered in it."
"Hm."
"Can you atleast try it on? I've just... got a hunch."
No harm to it, he thought. "So be it," he said as he grabbed the jacket and started walking towards the nearest dressing room before Yang called back at him.
"Dude, you can just put it on here." She gestured towards a mirror. "Unless you really feel like takin' your shirt off..."
"Yang, do you never tire of these jabs?"
"Nnnope."
He closed his eyes and exhaled a bit before putting on the jacket. It fit snugly even though Ren never gave her his exact measurements, as did all the other items that she had suggested from him.
Perhaps it's something that us men don't possess, he thought as he looked at himself in the mirror. He outstretched his arms, sleeves running a bit back on his arm as he looked at the image in front of him.
"Hm."
Yang walked up to his side. "See? Not bad, right? Just change the pants to some jeans and you'd look like a civvie!"
"I thought the goal of this trip was to make me look like a male, not a civilian."
"Yeah, but... when you go out on the town with your team, don't they usually change into something else?"
Ren thought about it. Jaune just took off his armor, Nora kept her same outfit, but Pyrrha usually did change into something more casual than her usual attire save for her circlet.
"Save for Nora, yes, they do shed some items of clothing."
"And it'd be a real shame if your tunic got dirty during a trip to... say... the ice cream parlor, right?"
"I could just wash i-"
"Exactly! Alright." She pulled the jacket off of Ren by the two sleeves and draped it over her bent arm. "So we're getting this." Checking the price tag on the end of the sleeve, she rose an eyebrow. "Nice."
"That'll be... 60 lien." The cashier looked up as he was fitting the folded green button-up into the bag, Ren still looking at the tallie on a screen in front of him.
"Remarkably cheaper that I thought it would be," he said with a slight incredulous tone in his voice.
"Never said I didn't know how to find a bargain, Ren. It'd be a crime if they made us pay full price for stuff like this, right..." She looked over at the cashier. "... Akiba?"
"Yes, you did find quite the bargain, you two." He said it without any tone of hostile intentions, but he did gesture with his hand palm up on the counter of the register.
Ren took out his wallet, but Yang stopped him with a hand on his arm that kept it in place. "I got this, flower boy."
He looked at her. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. It's the least I can do for your closet." She smirked and grabbed the unmoved one-hundred line card from her pocket. Handing it to the cashier, he opened the register and handed her change. Raising the bag over the counter, the man asked the age-old question.
"Receipt in the bag or with you?"
"I'll take it-"
"- In the bag, thanks."
Ren and Yang looked at each other.
"I want it-"
"In the bag."
He blinked a few times. She rose an eyebrow.
"I'll ta-"
"-ke it in the bag, thank you." She looked at the cashier, but he had already printed another one with a small chuckle emitted from his throat.
"You two are adorbs." Both pale pink and lilac went wide at the mention of them being a couple (with Ren getting some unpleasant flashbacks to yesterday) as they opened their mouths to speak before the man interrupted them. "Have a nice day!" He slipped one receipt in the bag while handing a speechless Ren the other. They both awkwardly nodded their thanks and walked away.
After a few seconds of walking, Yang spoke up.
"Do we seriously look like a couple? I mean, look at you! You're thin as a twig!"
He rose an eyebrow. "You do realize that I am standing right here, Ya-"
"Yeah, yeah, sorry. But I'm just saying, why would someone assume we're a couple?"
I had a similar conversation to this with her partner yesterday...
"To be honest, we both qualify as good-looking people, Yang. It's not an illogical proposition for people to assume that we're a couple." She rose a mischievous smirk on her lips and Ren added on before she could speak. "No, Yang."
"Just a little teasing, come on!"
Suddenly, an old, female, elderly voice spoke up with a dramatic gasp.
Wait. Wait.
"You!"
... Oh Oum. Ren couldn't believe his luck, but he had to confirm his suspicions.
Both Beacon trainees looked towards the woman, and Ren instantly froze up as his eyes went wide for the second time in the span of a few minutes. Yang looked over at him.
"Dude, what's up with you?"
"I can't believe you, you young rascal! How could you switch partners so easily? Was I correct about your affairs? Was it really something illicit?" She blew the questions out in a flurry- at least as fast as her dentures allowed her to at least- with wide eyes. The elderly woman then rose her cane and started slowly hobbling her way to the martial artist, stick slightly waving in the air as she made her way. "The gall!"
As she started to get closer, Ren started to back up slightly, Yang giving him a strange look before looking at the woman. "Excuse me, ma'am?" Grey hair turned to face a marvellous mane of blonde, and the old woman instantly dropped her cane back down to a walking position and went wide-eyed.
"Oh, my, what beautiful hair you have!"
Yang smiled at the compliment, and flipped it casually with a flick of her head. "Aw. Thanks! Someone," she looked pointedly at Ren, "didn't tell me that today."
Ren opened his mouth, ready to argue his point of contention. "Wh-"
"Oh, don't mind him, dear." She thwapped him on the leg, but didn't notice a small line of magenta aura block it as the cane returned to its place at her side. "But please don't tell me you two are together!"
Yang looked at Ren, who had his lips pursed and eyes wide as he slowly nodded in the negatory as he stood tall over the hunched-over old woman.
She had all the cards in her hand, and she could play them however she wanted...
It really was a good day for Yang.
Amazing.
Superb.
It's time to have some real fun, flower-boy...
She winked at him, making him give a tiny sigh in relief.
The next words, however, were not what he was expecting. "Yeah, he's my boyfriend!" Adding insult to Ren's already blistering injury, she walked over to Ren's side and latched onto his arm. She could feel him trying to pull away with bursts of strong tugs, but she was stronger by far when it came to pure strength compared to the martial artist.
The old woman shook his head. "Dearie, this young man has been cheating on you!"
Yang pretended to be shocked, pulling away from Ren's surprisingly serene face- save for the icy glare he was sending her way- and putting a hand over her mouth. "No way! Who?"
The woman gave Ren a harsh, baggy-eyed look as she spoke. "Some other girl dressed in black and white." Turning her attention to the blonde, she spoke in an apologetic tone. "I'm so sorry."
"Oh, it's okay. I'll... move on somehow." She grabbed Ren's arm again. "But you, boyfriend, are coming with me."
The old woman gladfully hobbled out of the way. "Teach him a lesson!" She waved her cane wildly above her.
"Thanks, ma'am. Let's go." She tugged at Ren's arm as if he were a doll, and immediately he was blown off of his feet and into the street, pulled by the human version of a raging bull.
She shook her head. "Oh... to be young..."
"PPPPPFFFFTTHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Yang was doubled over, hands planted on her knees as she let out the loudest snort-laughs that he'd ever heard from the blonde. People were milling about them, only sparing a small glance at the mane of gold that was shaking like crazy with each shuddering breath.
"Yang..."
"Oh, come on Ren!" A few more snickers escaped from her lips as she tried to calm down. "Come on, tell me that wasn't funny!"
"That wasn't funny."
She rolled her eyes. "Yes it was! She was all like, 'grr he was cheating on you!' Oh, it was perfect!"
He looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Are you quite done?"
"No, I need to stay in the moment for just a bit more..."
Ren sighed as he picked up the bag that Yang barely got through the door before she started her fit of laughter. "I'm assuming you want an explanation."
She rose a finger. "Just wait. Still in the moment." A few more seconds of awkward standing passed, and she spoke up. "Yeah, so who was she?"
Ren motioned with his hand for them to stand in the alcove of the entrance where they wouldn't be getting on other people's way, and they walked a few steps. "Blake and I first met her on the airbus yesterday on the way to Lake Forrester."
"Really? Huh. What a coincidence then, meeting each other two days in a row!"
"I concur. The odds of that happening were... incredibly low."
She snorted one more time as she wiped a tear away. "Still pretty funny, though."
"May we never speak of this again?"
"Do what you want. I'm tellin' Rubes all about this tonight. Oh, she'll love it..."
Once again, Ren conceded.
HOLY BAGOH-LY IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE I'VE POSTED THIS STORY! I forgot to get flowers for myself! Curses!
Thank you all for your kind words, favs, and follows over this time! It makes me feel all gooey on the inside. Or maybe that's just blood.
... probably just blood.
Also, the old woman makes her return! Don't worry, I won't use her as a cheesy plot device in every arc, but I thought it wasn't impossible to add her logically into the story, so... hey!
Lastly, I'm afraid this will be my last update... for about a week. Maybe more. School does that to you, man. So again, thanks for sticking with me until this point, and I'll see you in the next chapter!
Omakeeeeeee!: (this is so cringe, i don't know why I made this.)
"So, Ren."
It was a dark room. The only source of illuminating light came from a blinking red light in front of him, reminding him of a recording camera. The same, garbled voice kept their spiel going.
"I see that you're hanging out with Yang more."
He struggled against the bonds of his chair, but they wouldn't give. The chair rattled against the bolted down parts, reinforced by strong metals.
"Who are you?"
The voice audibly gasped. "You don't remember me?"
"Remember?" He repeated the word, thinking hard.
"We had so much fun yesterday, though..."
A noise. Clicking heels made their way closer and closer, one step at a time. Ren attempted to triangulate the position, but the darkness clouded his senses. A cold- no, ice-cold- hand planted itself on his chest, and the same voice whispered to him, ungarbled.
"Don't you remember me?"
His head reared. "Blake?"
Before she could respond, a door on his right was bashed in, and it revealed the sight of Nora in... a superhero costume?
... Yep. Spandex an' all.
"GIVE ME MY PARTNER, FOUL VILLAIN!" She pointed a righteous finger at the cat-faunus.
The shadow- A.K.A Blake Belladonna, reared back at the sudden light that entered the room, and Ren had to shut his eyes at the brightness.
"Never! He's mine!"
"NO HE'S NOT!"
"YES HE IS!"
Both teenagers leapt at each other, and the fight devolved into a cluster of tangled limbs and a huge dust cloud that Ren couldn't see through. While those two were fighting, Yang poked her head in from the side, and Ren looked at her.
"Yang! Get me out of here!"
She narrowed her eyes, but they didn't hide any promise of threat. She began walking her way inside, ignoring the cat-fight to her right, and trailed her way to the chair where Ren was chained down.
"Ren?"
"I believe that there are chains holding me down here, and here." He motioned with his hands and head as best he could. "If you could use Ember Celica t-... Yang?"
"Wow, Ren... looks like you've got some girls fighting over you..."
"That is beside the point, Yang! Use-"
"Shhhhh..." She placed a finger over Ren's lips. "You don't need to leave so early!..." Licking her lips, she got closer... and closer...
"Yang?" He started to shift in his chair, trying to get distance from the apparently lustful Xiao-Long. "Yang?"
Right before lips met, he woke up with a startle, blankets going everywhere as he propped himself up on his elbows. Breathing heavily, he wiped the sweat off of his brow.
"What... was... that..." He muttered to himself in gasping breaths. Looking around, he was in his dormitory, but... all the beds were connected?
"Renny... come back..."
"Flower-boy..."
"Feeeesh..."
Three voices made themselves loud and clear as he felt arms pull him back down onto the bed. Eyes widened, he tried to move but to no avail.
"Stop... moving... sloth..."
"C'mon..."
"Feeeeeeeesh..."
He squeezed his eyes shut. "Why does this feel like something Jaune would be doing..."
Any further thought was swamped by unconsciousness.
I'm so sorry. xD