Part II
They couldn't find any uniforms in her size. They had seemingly endless uniforms for petite girls, and one troubled looking, slightly discolored uniform they dug up from the dregs of ill-fitting uniform hell just for her. The hem of her hakama dragged on the ground slightly and she spent most of her mental energy trying to step in a certain way to avoid tripping on them but also keep from drawing anymore attention to herself, which was failing. Especially after tripping and ending up on all fours in a fresh spring mud patch, her sword that was mounted on her back smacking her on the side of the head.
Every ounce of effort put into trying to blend in melted away with the acceptance that her effort was futile. She got up, sniffed, dragged the back of her hand across her nose, streaking the middle of her face with mud, then knotted the hems of her hakama at her shins and marched on. She smeared mud on the first pearly uniform she saw adorned by a man snickering at her current state.
The teachers in this dump weren't much better than their students. It was almost like they sent a memo out to each teacher reminding them to make snide comments about her the state of her appearance before beginning class, which she could not sit still for. She was well versed enough in the subjects taught, having been practically raised by a distinguished captain like Shunsui, to make it into the accelerated classes upon acceptance.
There, every day, she sat in a corner she'd claimed her own. No one else sat there as most people sat with groups of friends, each person belonging to their respective clique. Even the weird kid, Renji, who was picked on by teachers and students alike as she was before she was put down so many times she stopped trying to put effort in, had his own little group of weirdos. And Mina watched them sometimes after classes with a hollowed out chest, hesitating for just a moment before heading to her dorm, with the ambition of tagging along for practice. She always scrapped the idea, right at the moment she thought she saw someone about to turn their head and acknowledge her, she sped away clutching her books to her chest and hanging her red face down toward the ground.
This became a painful ritual. She never seemed to get up the courage to reach out to someone and try to make friends. At this point, everyone seemed well established with the people in their groups and she sat in her corner, doodled and scribbled notes. Every stifled giggle from a group of girls sitting behind her that was swiftly corrected by the teacher was another pang in her chest, a reminder of what she longed for but also afraid of.
She'd never really recovered from Ikkaku and Yumichika taking off suddenly and leaving her with no other option but to return home with her tail between her legs and go to the Shinō Academy. Her self esteem plummeted but at the same time she was no longer afraid of the violence. She'd been through it all and learned what her classmates would only learn years after becoming established Shinigami. But her inability to create a sense of camaraderie with her peers set back any opportunity to really brush up on the advanced skills she'd learned from Ikkaku outside of class. Every day she felt herself becoming more and more hopeless about her future as a Shinigami. She had no idea what her place was in all of this, what she could contribute and what she would feel good about contributing, and above all how she felt about the Gotei 13 as an organization, not that examining the latter would be of any use.
The one class Mina thought she might enjoy, the one where everyone practiced fighting with wooden swords, ended up being her effortlessly shuffling around weak or flawed moves from a sweaty, frustrated classmate who was trying their best. There seemed to be only a select few who would practice with her, usually the ones known for putting as little effort in as possible. From afar, she looked lazy and the students she fought with looked downright awful. The instructor had never really broken up the habitual pairings of the students, instead choosing to focus on the supposed talents of the most aggressive students who sought each other out.
Today was a different day. The substitute assigned pairs, and assigned her and Renji to be partners. The anxiety at this was immediately. Her heart beat a little faster and she tensed up. What if she wasn't as skilled as she thought she was? What if Ikkaku taught her nothing? What if Ikkaku was actually terrible and she was about to break both of her wrists? She barely made eye contact and Renji didn't seem to care enough to put any effort into being friendly.
Once the sub called on them to begin their round, the energy shifted. Renji was swift and harsh, Mina was out of good practice but still more than enough to take him on. After minutes of rapid clashing, they ended up in a gridlock, pushing each other's swords up against the other's at full force despite accomplishing nothing. With a burst of green reiatsu, Mina pushed Renji to the floor, her wooden sword to his throat. The instructor decided to blow his whistle then and call an end to the fight there, declaring Mina the winner.
Mina smiled and reached her hand out to help him up, expecting him to be impressed with her and maybe even invite her to hang out with him and his friends. Instead, Renji hoisted himself up and walked straight past her, muttering something about losing to a girl. Mina, dejected, turned around and sat back down on the floor, making sure to keep space between her and others, which wasn't hard as her classmates scooted away when she sat down. She blinked away a few tears and spaced out toward the wall across from her. Her face was red yet again and she swore the hollow feeling in her chest just grew sharp, pointy teeth.
Class was dismissed and Mina lifted her heavy body up to make the trek back to her dorm so she could cry and nap away the rejection. She saw Renji making his way over to her and she looked on in apprehension, imagining all of the things he could possibly be approaching her about, all of them negative and having to do with reaming her out for embarrassing him in front of everyone.
"Where did you learn to fight like that?" He asked in awe.