Archer smiled to himself as he whisked together the base for a frittata.

This is going to be a marvelous breakfast, he thought before adding a handful of cheese to the eggs. The crust was browning on the stove, shredded potatoes with shallots, seasoned with salt and pepper. If only they had smoked salmon. Well, the asparagus would have to do.

Archer layered the blanched asparagus before pouring in the egg and cream mixture. Then he slid it into the oven. Soon it would be set and absolutely delicious. It didn't take long to make either, when you got the hang of it –

"We need to talk." Saber. Well, that was expected.

"What about?" Archer asked, turning away from the oven to see not just Saber but a very stern Rin staring at him. "Keeping in mind that Shirou might be waking up any minute." He likely only hadn't yet because Archer had kept him up rather late with their play.

"Why are you doing this?" Saber asked bluntly and Archer quirked an eyebrow at her as he went to make tea. "And pay attention!" …Hmph.

"I am fully capable of making tea while speaking, Saber. As for why I'm doing this, I find it amusing," Archer said as he measured the leaves. "Does there need to be more of a reason?"

"Archer, you don't understand, Shirou really likes you!" Rin said. Archer couldn't help it. He smiled, a small curve of his lips. Like him? That was just hilarious. Rin was continuing, though, and Archer was thankful he was facing away from her. She'd have noticed that smile. "You can't just use him like that!"

"Rin, I understand that Shirou is young and foolish but I do not see how he could misunderstand my intentions," Archer said evenly as he poured in the hot water. Perfect temperature yet again. "I am a Servant. I will only be here for the length of the Grail War. Our time together, while amusing, cannot lead to anything more permanent." Saber nodded reluctantly but Rin had another objection.

"I don't understand how you can be doing that with Shirou. It's just, eww!" Eww? "Seriously, it's gross! Just thinking of the two of you… ugh! You're so old and he's such a kid!" Old? Was she referring to his immortal nature or his hair color? Archer knew he didn't really look old so that was odd. Shirou was quite a kid though. "Seriously, that must be the strangest thing you've ever done!"

"Miss Rin, making love to Shirou is definitely not the strangest thing I've ever done," Archer said absently as he checked the time. A bit longer. Rin scowled at him.

"What is the strangest thing you've ever done then? I mean, sexually?" Rin asked and Archer paused, suddenly losing his focus on the conversation and the frittata in the oven. The strangest thing he'd ever…?

Warmth enfolding him. Bright purple tentacles sliding over his body. Trying to grab them and pull them away but it's futile, futile and they are playing with him oh god and he can feel the overarching intelligence burrowing into his mind like a maggot but only to amplify the feelings like an endless series of mirrors until he feels like his mind might crack from the pleasure so intense it's a form of torture –

"Archer?" Archer blinked as he saw Saber in front of him. When had she moved? And Rin seemed concerned, staring at him with wide eyes. "Archer, can you hear me?"

"Of course I can hear you," Archer said, wondering why in hell she'd be asking.

"Archer, you spaced out for almost five minutes!" Rin said and Archer blinked. "I just asked you about your weirdest sexual experience – "

Pulsing warmth, flexible, wrapping him completely now. The purple seems to form faces now, women and men he had known, pleasure unbearable yet he must bear it because he is a Counter-Guardian and has no refuge in insanity –

"ARCHER!" Archer blinked as he was roughly shaken. Rin was looking afraid? How peculiar. "Stop doing that! It's insanely creepy! And don't tell me why you're doing that, EVER!"

"…I… won't…" What had he even been thinking of? Then he glanced at the time and lost any concern of that. "The frittata!" It was overbaked! Quickly opening the oven he pulled it out, cursing softly. "How did that happen?" He'd meant to be so careful! Shirou came into the room, rubbing a bit of sleep out of his eyes.

"What's going on? Oh, did I sleep in?" He squinted at the clock as Archer cut into the food. Hmm… at least it wasn't burnt. It was drier than he would have liked. Sighing, he began to plate it.

"Yes, and somehow I overcooked the frittata. What were you saying Rin?" Something about… something about… Archer frowned as his mind came up blank.

"I was – MPH!" He and Shirou both stared as Saber slapped a hand over Rin's mouth.

"Don't say it. It's clearly some kind of trigger," she warned and Archer blinked. Trigger? "Archer, you cannot remember anything?"

"Remember anything? Can all of you try to speak sense?" Archer said irritably. This was getting very annoying. "I just can't recall what Rin was saying. I suppose it was unimportant." Rin got away from Saber's hand and spoke.

"Unimportant?! I wanted to know your weirdest sexual experience!" Archer froze and this time, his mind did not fully retreat from the question. Although he almost wished it had as he clearly remembered the past.

"…Tentacles." He heard himself say as everyone stared at him. Rin and Shirou were shocked while Saber was grim. Of course she'd realized it had to be something grotesquely exotic. "So many… tentacles…" Nausea suddenly overcame him and Archer was glad he hadn't eaten any food. He lunged to the wastebasket and just barely managed to get it open before vomiting into it.

Seal it away. Compartmentalize it. You can do it. Archer repeated the thought over and over, a mantra, as he activated his mage circuits. This was something he'd learned while alive, a way to temporarily seal away a traumatic event in favor of survival. Of course, it was supposed to be temporary. Trying to maintain it indefinitely was foolish because the trauma would leak past the seal, affecting performance and personality as the unresolved issues festered. However, Archer had tried to resolve this many times and it was simply impossible. The only thing to do was seal it away, lock the trauma into a small portion of his mind that wouldn't… wouldn't…

Archer blinked, wiping his mouth as he looked at the wastebasket. Then he realized there was a warm hand on his back and turned to see Shirou's concerned eyes.

"That's strange. Why was I thinking about trauma management?" Archer asked, feeling oddly disconnected. Shirou swallowed before smiling at him. It seemed strangely forced. "…I should clean this up." The wastebasket had a plastic bag, fortunately, but the smell was nipping at his nostrils, acrid and foul. Archer began pulling out the bag but then Shirou's hands on his stopped him.

"I can get it. Why don't you finish getting breakfast out?" Shirou suggested and Archer hesitated before nodding. If Shirou wanted to clean up his puke, he wasn't going to argue. Although what had made him do that? He hadn't taken an injury and most other causes of nausea, like bad food, couldn't affect a Counter Guardian. A bit mystified at himself, Archer got out the plates as Shirou took out the garbage. Saber and Rin were conversing quietly, he noticed.

"Um, let's have some tea!" Rin's cheer was rather forced and Archer frowned at her as he put at the plates and utensils.

"What were we discussing? I'm afraid I have forgotten," Archer said, realizing as he did that his recent memory felt oddly patchy. Yet, it wasn't alarming, just mildly annoying.

"Nothing important. You said this is a frittata? I have never had that before, what is it?" Saber asked and Archer began detailing the nature of a frittata. Shirou soon came back and they all dug in. It was definitely a little overbaked, not as custardy as it should have been, but the cheese helped make up for that. Overall, Archer was pleased with it. Everyone was acting a bit oddly at first but that soon smoothed out and he felt no desire to question it. In fact, everything inclined him to just completely forget about it.

Sometimes, ignorance was bliss.

I am a sick man and I'd be going to Hell if I weren't there already, Archer thought as he gazed over a completely helpless Shirou, lying on red cushions with gold tassles.

"Archer, this is embarrassing..." Shirou wiggled, trying to find slack in the red silk cords. There was some, Archer wanted the bondage to be comfortable, but not much. Archer chuckled softly, running his hands over pale skin. Shirou shivered a little at his touch.

"You are beautiful like this," Archer said warmly, drinking in the sight. Shirou's arms were tied behind his back with red cords, which also wound around his body in artistic ways. Bondage for pleasure, it would not be easy for Shirou to free himself but it would be possible, given time and a bit of willingness to lose skin. Not that Archer would force his younger self to do such a thing.

"I don't know why I'm the one tied up!" Shirou growled but it was weak as Archer knelt over top of him, running his hands up Shirou's sides. His younger self drew in a sharp breath as Archer slowly licked his spine, up to the nape of his neck. Then Archer gently bit his throat, mouthing the skin and feeling the quick pulse beneath his lips.

"Mmm… believe me, if we'd done it the other way you would be more embarrassed," Archer said and Shirou looked over his shoulder, his eyes wide and confused. Archer smiled in fond remembrance. "Picture yourself… holding a diagram as you sit beside my half-tied body… knowing you've done something wrong and desperately trying to figure it out as I do my best not to laugh at you…" That was exactly how the first time for him had gone. His partner had been… what had her name been? God, so long ago. But she'd been shaking with silent laughter as he tried desperately to figure it out. Shirou blinked at the image.

"Oh… um. That would happen wouldn't it," he muttered, a blush coloring his cheeks. Archer found it charming. Settling in against Shirou's back, Archer began to gently tease him. Shirou couldn't move, just experience it as tanned fingers skimmed over pale skin. After long minutes of soft gasps and moans, Archer's lips on Shirou's throat, his hands roaming that body, Archer spoke in Shirou's ear.

"You're certain about this?" Archer was concerned about it, he would not lie. His memories on the matter were unfortunately clear and Archer knew he hadn't enjoyed his first time as the receiver. Although in retrospect, Archer knew he'd been a fool to let Shinji take his anal virginity. Wakame likely hadn't known any more than he had but of course Shinji couldn't admit it and he'd hurt Shirou in his ignorance.

"Yeah, I trust you," Shirou's voice was breathless and Archer pressed a kiss against his shoulder, reminding himself that he was not Shinji. He knew what to do, how to take care of his partner. Covering his fingers in heavy lube, Archer began to gently slide a finger inside Shirou. At Shirou's soft hiss he paused, gently rubbing the small of Shirou's back as he began carefully massaging inside him. "Feels weird…" Shirou muttered and Archer chuckled softly.

"Yes, it would." It was hardly something they were designed to do. Archer took his time, using just that single finger, searching for Shirou's prostate. He knew when he found it, the boy yanked a bit at his bonds before making a soft, sweet groan. Archer smiled, lovingly stroking that spot. A light sweat suddenly broke out on Shirou's body, making him look absolutely delicious.

Archer shifted his legs, aware of his own erection. Shirou was beautifully on display in front of him, reacting in a way that would have aroused a god. Schooling himself to patience, Archer gently introduced a second finger. Shirou shuddered and Archer felt those warm insides gripping his fingers tightly. How would it feel when he had his cock in there?

"Warn me if it's too much," Archer murmured, gently rubbing Shirou's back again. Shirou nodded, a touch jerkily. "Now…" Archer introduced a third finger. Shirou jerked against his bonds, eyes wide.

"Ah… Archer…!" Shirou gasped and Archer paused, looking at him in concern. "No… keep… going…" Mmm hmm. Archer's lips curved into a pleased smile before he gently kissed Shirou's shoulder. Of course his past self would not be deterred by a little pain.

Archer took his time, making sure there was plenty of lube and stretching. When he was satisfied that Shirou was ready, Archer gently tugged Shirou up. His legs were unbound and Shirou easily took the hint, taking his weight on his knees. Then Archer began to seat himself. It was incredibly hot and tight, not surprising for Shirou's first time.

"Archer… oh god…" The sound of Shirou's voice, full of desire, made him want to shove in up to the hilt. But Archer took his time, sliding in carefully and letting his partner get accustomed to being filled. "Uh… feels good…" Shirou's soft moan made more blood flow to his cock and Archer gasped, unable to stop himself. He abruptly finished the motion, filling Shirou completely with a quick jerk of his hips. Shirou's gasp was a beautiful sound. Then Archer lowered his head, mouthing the red cords before taking one in his mouth and giving a gentle tug. The way they were positioned meant that would rub them against Shirou's nipples, a useful little feature.

"Ah, Archer…" Shirou sounded like he was losing his mind and truthfully, Archer wasn't far behind. Lost in the pleasure, he rested his forehead against Shirou's shoulder as he began taking the boy, moving slowly and carefully. It was so hard to control himself, so very hard! "You can… go faster… uh…" Well, if he didn't mind…

Archer speeded his thrusts a bit, holding Shirou's hips with a firm but gentle grip. The way those grasping walls caressed his shaft was absolute bliss and Archer kissed the back of Shirou's neck before licking the skin, tasting the hint of salt. Shirou shuddered, turning his head and Archer obeyed the unspoken request, kissing him deeply. His lips were as sweet as the rest of him and Archer felt like he was drowning in the sensations.

Tiny droplets of sweat beaded Shirou's body, dampening the cords and to Archer's eyes, nothing had ever been more lovely. He played with the cords a bit more as he took his younger self, savoring the tight heat around his member. This experience was… incomparable…

"Archer, I, uh, I'm going to…" Shirou's gasping words hit him hard and Archer shuddered as he felt his control fraying, his orgasm quickly approaching.

"Good, I want to see you cum," Archer breathed and that was the end for Shirou. His younger self tensed sharply and Archer gasped as those walls quivered and jerked around him. He spent himself just a moment later, burying his face in Shirou's hair, breathing in his scent. It was an intensely pleasurable moment and Archer vaguely wished it could last forever.

It couldn't, of course, but the aftermath was just as pleasant. Breathing heavily, Archer came down from his high, realizing he had all his weight resting on Shirou. Quickly taking his weight on his hands, he lingered pleasantly within his younger self for a moment. Then Archer carefully pulled away, smiling as he looked at Shirou. He looked particularly appealing, disheveled, covered in sweat and still tied with red cords.

"Oh that was good. But Archer, can you take these off?" Shirou said plaintively, tugging on his bonds. Archer chuckled softly before finding the right spot in the cords. A quick tug and they came undone, loosening and falling away. "Hey, how'd you do that?" Shirou asked and Archer shrugged.

"They're meant to come off that way," he answered as Shirou rolled to the side, brushing away the remaining cords. Shirou smiled then and it was open and innocent, brightening his eyes. Archer's breath caught in his throat and he vaguely wondered how long it had been since he'd smiled like that. He was sure he'd once had that smile but it had faded, so long ago, into sarcasm and bitterness. It made his heart hurt to think of it.

"Will you stay?" Shirou's wistful voice recalled him to the present and Archer hesitated for the briefest of moments before brushing a kiss on his younger self's forehead.

"Of course," Archer murmured before settling into the cushions. Shirou snuggled up to him, resting his head against his chest. Archer looked down at that orange hair, gently stroking it before rubbing the back of Shirou's neck. So trusting and innocent, unaware that Archer could so easily break his neck. It would be a simple flick of the wrist. It made Archer's heart hurt, seeing himself before the sins of the world had soiled and broken him.

It would be kinder to kill him, Archer closed his eyes, resting a kiss on that orange head. Shirou mumbled something before settling in more firmly. Before he can become the twisted thing I have become. It hurt, so very much, but it also felt painfully true.

It would be kinder to kill Shirou before he could foolishly sell his soul.