Chapter 7: Sleep well my angel
Harley was really nervous. To avoid that the kids could have any shock, Chloe and Tess had returned home with Lucy and Nicholas, after school, and June and Harley would arrive shortly after. The archaeologist could feel the delinquent's mood because even a small tic appeared in her eye.
They're walking down the street towards the young couple apartment.
- Everything will be perfect - she tried to calm her - Lucy's going to love you - she said confidently.
Harley stopped and looked at her as if she had completely lost her mind
- Just cause you're crazy enough to stay by my side despite everything, doesn't mean that my daughter's going to love me - she looked at the floor - I'm broken and... - it was hard to admit -... scared.
- You did the best thing for her - June remind her - And yes, maybe I'm crazy, but I see beyond that wall that you have put in front of you and against the world and I like what I see.
- The Enchantress damaged your brain completely - she smiled at last - I don't think I've ever told you, but I'm glad you're by my side.
- You're not going to run away from me so easily - she turned her gaze to a toy store. - Wait! Do you think it would be okay if Auntie June give to the kids a stuffed toy?
- Auntie June, huh? - Harley's grinned - I think they would love it - she admitted - Thanks for this too. - Stop thank me Harleen, it's the least I can do.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
A little while later, both went out of the shop, Harley with a huge Teddy bear between their arms and June with a remote-controlled car in a bag.
When they arrived to the flat, they knocked at the door, and before Chloe could open the door, June held Harley's hand and looked at her in the eyes. No words were needed, those eyes reminded the delinquent that she needed to calm herself, that everything would be fine.
- Hello - Chloe answered opening the door - Come in, please! Tess and the children are in the living room - she offered them space so that they could enter - But what have you brought?
- We think that it was a good idea, to be the cool aunts - June joked - Has it been a good idea?
- I suppose... yes - Chloe smiled back.
They walked along the exquisitely decorated floor, with functional furniture and full of the family's photos. Then, they reached the living room, where Lucy was playing on the carpet with a toy car to which she had put a ballerina's tutu and Tess was reading a comic with Nicholas on the sofa.
- Kids, today we have guests - Chloe warned them - They are two of our friends and they've brought you presents.
- Then, they are also our friends!- Nicholas exclaimed, leaping from Tess's lap and heading straight for June and Harley.
- And those manners Nick? - Tess scolded him.
- Sorry, Mommy! - the boy apologized - Hello ladies, nice to meet you! I'm Nicholas Sullivan Queen Mercer - he said, shaking hands with June.
- Hi, little boy, I'm June Moone and she's Harleen Quinzel - she made the introductions.
- I'm not little, I'm a big boy! - Nicholas said.
- Then I'm not sure if you'd like what I've got for you ... - June looked down, trying to joke but with a serious template and taking out the box from the remote-controlled car.
When the child saw the toy, his eyes widened even more.
- Well, I think I can be a little kid for a while - he replied provoking the smile on the face of the adults. The child thanked the gift with hugs for the two guests. However, Lucy was still on the carpet, looking at Harley as if she had just seen a ghost, and Harley was still crouched after Nicholas's embrace.
-No greetings Lucy? - Tess asked somewhat surprised at the behavior of her daughter.
-It's... She is... - Lucy said getting up from the carpet and running to hug Harley, who strained her body not expecting the tremendous effusivity from part of her daughter - It's her... mom, it's her! - she said looking at Chloe. A tear tried to escape from Harley's eyes, listening to Lucy calling "mom" to another person, but that wasn't the weirdest of the situation.
- Who is she? - Chloe asked Lucy, who was still embracing Harley.
- It is the angel which sang to me - Lucy affirmed with an enormous smile - The angel of my window.
The wall that Harley had built so that the situation would affect her as little as possible was struggling to break completely. The Angel? She didn't understand anything, but her intuition told her that she was referring to the moment when she had said goodbye to Lucy so long ago. But how could she remember that? Lucy was barely a one-year-old baby, and all the reports she had read in her time at university said that humans remembered from the age of three. That night, when she had to say goodbye to her, she sung a lullaby which she had heard long ago, and although she had already said goodbye, she stared at her from the window for a long time, trying to recover from that moment. And now, Lucy remembered her.
June felt the need to do something, otherwise Harley's wall would break from one moment to another, So she took the teddy bear and placed it in front of her.
- Look, we've brought you a super teddy bear - she said trying to smile.
Lucy broke the embrace with her real mother, to go to hug the bear.
-Thanks! - the happy girl exclaimed.
- I need to go to the bathroom - Harley whispered, because she couldn't stand the situation.
- I'm coming with you - June tried to accompany her.
- Don't worry, I'll go with her - Tess said, trying to calm her down, but June was not satisfied until it was Harley herself who nodded and touched her arm briefly. With Tess, Harley was in safe hands - So, I'll show her where it is.
- Do you remember that you promised to do your homework after playing for a while? - Chloe asked both children.
-Yes, but we have guests and new toys - Nicholas complained.
- If you do the homework, then you can return and play with your toys, okay? - Chloe promised them.
- Ok mom! - the two children agreed heading to their rooms, but before going there, Nicholas turned and went back to look at June.
- When I grow up... would you marry me? - the boy asked surprising June.
- I do not know - June denied, she muddled through - I see it very precipitate, we barely met each other.
- Well, but years will pass until I become a man, we'll know each other by then and you will marry me - she said entering his room.
- You have another admirer - Chloe tried to joke, when the children had already left the room - Although it seems to me that your heart is already quite busy.
- Well, I'm with Rick - she admitted quietly.
- Do you remember that we met many years ago?
- Of course - she nooded.
- And do you remember that I am who paid you the archeology studies? - she asked her sitting down on the couch.
- I couldn't forget that fact - June looked at her willing to know where that conversation was going.
- And do you remember that I was by your side that summer in which you escaped from your last foster home and I helped you to find your way in life again?
- Yes, I also remember... that summer you were with that heroine ... the Angel of Vengeance... which was her real name? - she thought for a moment - Andrea ... Andrea Rojas, is that right ?
- I didn't have anything with Andrea - her look included a scolding - why are you changing the subject?
- It's weird to see you with Tess, I remember you once told me that she was the devil in person, the opossite to the wonderful Andrea Rojas, and now... well, not even death has been able to separate both of you – she said sitting beside Chloe on the sofa - and with two children, nothing less.
- When the correct person arrives to your life, you know it, although both of you want to deny it, although you're fighting one day in and day out. Deep inside, you know it - she smiled with affection - And I knew it. God! I always knew it! But our lives were too much complicated. But I'm sure I always knew it just as you know it now.
- Where do you go with this conversation? - June knew that Chloe had more to say to her, even if in the last years they hadn't kept in touch, their connection was so strong as it had been in the past.
- You know that I know you probably better than you know yourself, don't you? I mean, I've been there and I've done that... - Chloe asked looking at her.
- Yes, I know that - June admitted sincerely.
- Well, then stop trying to fool me. You're with Rick, that's ok, but your heart already belongs to someone else.
- What do you mean by that? - she questioned without understand her.
- Don't play the fool with me, June! I've seen the way you look at her. In fact, I have seen the way both of you look each other, and my friend, there are something between you and Harley - she put her hand in June's knee - Am I wrong?
There was a extremely tense silence, June knew that she was feeling something for Harley, but she has a serious relationship with another person.
- Despite your definition of him in the cafeteria, I love Rick, I don't want to break his heart - she said seriously - I won't do anything that could hurt him.
- Ok! It's your right - Chloe agreed - But sooner or later, you're going to need to take a decision. When that moment arrives, don't take your decision with your mind, do it with your heart. Whatever happens, I'm with you. I'm not going to judge you.
June look down at her hands thinking if she had to be sincere with herself or fight against Chloe's words.
- Thanks Chloe, I missed you - she smiled finally.
- Me too.
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While in the bathroom Harley wiped her tears, while Tess looked at her through the mirror.
- Did you sing to her that night? - the redhead asked worried about Harley, but also about her daughter.
- Yes, I sang a lullaby that I'd discovered - she looked down - And then I kept looking at her for a while through the window, before leaving.
- She's been remembering that all her life - she said, crisscrossing her arms.
- I don't understand, one of the things you learn in psychology, is that until three years we remember everything in a very diffuse way - Harley explained - She was barely a year old and she was asleep - She sat in the toilet seat, she was really shocked.
- But those memories are not forgotten, that's why she sees you as an angel - Tess explained, sitting down on the floor beside her - Harley, even in a confusing way, she reminds you, maybe because of how you lived that moment, I don't know. She always talks about the angel in her window.
- It's a fucking irony! - she covered her face - An angel? me?
- You are lucky that for your daughter... you're exactly that - she affirmed - Don't think that by dropping your wall you are weak, I think at least, there is a person out there willing to support you if you fall. They both looked at each other, they knew each other well enough to know what they're talking about and Harley couldn't help that a sad smile appeared on her face.
- I should leave her, you know? I'd to do something and try that June get away from me before it's too late for her. I'm terrified of him appearing and hurting her, or that I hurt her. But she's still there, beside me, no matter what, and it's like I don't have the strength to let her go. She's making me weak.
- Harley, she knows where she's getting into - she looked at her understanding - From the very first moment she offered you her help, she knew where she was getting into.
- The madness attracts you and then it destroys you totally. It fuck up you for ever - she confessed - I know that from experience.
- You are not him, you have committed thousands of mistakes. Maybe you're a killer now, but you are not him - Tess denied - And she is not you, that is clear.
- Why are you talking as if you were a robot? Well, you're a robot... I had forgotten that... - she looked away.
- C'mon! So the Harley angry with the world has returned, doesn't her? I'm not a robot, my body is an android, but my soul and my mind are with me... and you know that.
- No, I'm sorry, the fact is that I hate to be unable to read your mind. You know that it is something in which I'm good with other people. Are we friends or you keep on thinking that I am a cold-blooded killer?
-You are a ruthless killer - Tess affirmed seriously - But unfortunately, I still consider you my friend - she shrugged - You always have been broken Harley, that it has nothing to do with him - she said - He only ended up destroying what already was broken, you hated the world, and he was a weapon to destroy it, only that the weapon exploded in your own hands.
- Or in my brain... in multiple occasions - Harley was ironic - That's why I studied psychology, it wasn't for helping people... it was to understand as the world worked and to break it from within.
- We know each other, I already knew that. Maybe that's why we became friends so easily. You know that before I met Chloe, I deeply loved this planet but I hated the humanity - she reminded her - I didn't care if I had to murder someone to protect Earth - Harley smiled - I was a killer. I was just like you, a crazy, broken, abused and lost woman - Harley nodded - And then, I met Chloe Sullivan. She hadn't powers, but the greatest heroes loved her and I didn't understand anything. For the first time in my life, I couldn't control a person, because she was better than me. But then, I understanded it, Chloe was so lost as me, she didn't believe in humanity, she was building a wall to protect herself. But despite that, she was trying to do the best, always even if she didn't realised it. Finally, one day, we look at each other, because the destiny were preparing us, we're better together. But before the good things happened, we almost kill each other in several times, we hated each other so deeply. I never hated someone so much. Of course that, I never had loved someone so much. Two sides of the same coin. We, as an adults, we don't know what the fuck we're doing with our lifes. The light and the darkness are not so different. There are bad people outside, but sometimes we need a light which save us and we don't become that kind of bad guys.
- I'm from the bad guys Tess, I'm not a good girl and I'm not like you... I never will deserve my own Chloe.
- Nevertheless, it seems that you saved June when Enchantress had her... why?
- There was a very nice group of criminals and I wasn't going to make them feel alone ...- she smiled - The truth is that I acted for instinct.
- That says it all about you, don't you think? - she rose from the ground - Your instinct was not to go away, nor to help Enchantress to end the world. Along with Enchantress maybe you had managed to destroy the world, she was the most powerful weapon. Your instinct was to stay with the people you appreciated at the time, even if your life was in danger.
- Sometimes when you love someone, it's best to walk away - she smiled, realizing that it was what she had done for her daughter.
- June is not a one year kid, if you really want to get away from her, it will be much more complex - she looked at her sideways - I know her is important for Chloe, the truth is that I don't know a lot about her bond, but she's important for Chloe and that is enough for me... Harley, don't hurt her. Stop your sick game of running away from people who love you, if we are here is for something.
- Do you really think that I can still have my redemption? -she asked sadly.
-No matter what I, June or the rest of the world believe in, until you don't believe in yourself, that will be useless - she said leaving the bathroom - I wait outside, take your time.
They both went into the dining room and discovered Chloe and June laughing on the couch, but they stopped when they saw them.
- Is everything ok? - Chloe asked, to which Harley and Tess simply nodded - You don't know what happened while you were gone.
- What happened, honey? - Tess sat on the armrest on the side of the sofa where Chloe was sitting.
- We almost have to officiate a wedding - she joked, surprising Tess and Harley and provoking the blush on June's face. - Nicholas asked June to marry him when he grow up.
- Smart boy - Harley laughed - You're teaching him well -she said, dropping into the seat next to June -Will you invite me, Doc Moone? - she asked, winking at the archaeologist.
- Yes of course, you will be the bridesmaid, for crissake! - June exclaimed - I won't marry him, it is sure that he will find a brilliant person for him.
- He is my nephew, so be careful, uh? - she threatened her joking.
- Mommy - Lucy looked out from the door of her room, looking to Tess - Can I already go out, please? I have finished my homework, today I didn't have many.
- And me? And me? Nicholas was still inside the room.
- Ask Mom - that was Tess's answer, leaving to Chloe the decision.
- Pleeeease! Pleaseeee! - exclaimed the two kids in unison.
- Okay, you can go out ... but you have to be good, okay?
Lucy ran towards where Harley was seated and opened her arms, looking for a hug. Harley didn't doubt it and Lucy sat in her lap, embracing her.
- I need to apologize - Nicholas said looking at Harley.
- Why? - Harley asked trying to keep the composure in a situation that she wasn't used at all. - Earlier, I have asked your girlfriend to marry me - he lowered the look ashamed - But Lucy explained me that you're an angel and I don't want to anger any angel.
- June is not my ... - she shook her head, surprised by Nicholas's words - She didn't ... I'm not - why this kids were thinking that June was her girlfriend? She thought it was better to answer than to explain - well, I forgive you.
- And... are you an angel, too? - the boy asked looking at June.
- No, actually she's an archaeologist - Chloe answered.
- Cool! I also want to be an archaeologist like Mommy - Lucy said, looking at Chloe.
- Not sweatie, actually your mommy was a marine biologist - Chloe explained to her with patience - There is a big difference.
- You're going to be whatever you want to be - Harley cheered her up - You can be a biologist - archaeologist. What do you think?
- That! That I will be! What do you do for living? - she asked her interested.
But how was she going to tell her that she was a delinquent... the queen of Gotham? The most detestable being in that room? But a person talk before she could answer.
- Harleen is a wonderful psychologist and a heroine - June explained.
- Seriously? - she asked excited - Mommy is also a hero, although she doesn't want us to talk about it.
- Your mommy is amazing! -Harley said looking at Tess.
- Yes, she is, but she doesn't know the song - she shook her head - You know it.
- But your mother taught me how to sing - she explained - When you were a little girl, she used to sing all day at home and at the end I learned.
- She barely sings us now - Lucy got sad - Why are you not singing any more mommy?
-Your mom sings better - she admitted - I give her the job - she smiled.
- Would you sing me tonight? - Lucy asked.
- How about tonight Harley singing to you and I will sing you tomorrow? - she offered, and Harley's eyes widened in surprise.
- For real? - Lucy asked with a huge smile. They're two drops of water and more when that mischievous smile appeared on their faces.
- It will be my pleasure - Harley said. Lucy wrapped her arms around Harley tightly
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They spent all day with Chloe, Tess, and the kids, but it was time to put them on the bed, and Harley's nerves were on edge. While Chloe and Tess put Nicholas on the bed, she had to sing to her daughter. She couldn't believe she had that opportunity, not in a million years. But there she was in front of the bed, looking at her daughter. June tried to leave the room, but Harley slowed her down.
- Don't leave - she asked, standing up and heading towards the archaeologist - I don't think I can do this alone - she looked down, after all, she hated feeling weak. After everything she had done, the people she had murdered in cold blood, after live for years with the Joker, after somehow confronting Amanda Waller, after all that, singing to her daughter (in the same room where she had to left her years ago), was the most terrorific experience.
-Are you sure? - June looked into her eyes - It's something quite intimate, from mother to daughter. I can wait outside.
- Stay - she begged her, touching her own head nervously.
- Ok, I'll be sitting here in silence but supporting you - June smiled you heading towards the window and sitting in the chair which was nearest it. The truth is that she had never heard Harley singing and it was an experience that she wanted to witness.
- Would you sing me that song? - the girl asked covered herself with the blankets and looking at Harley with a smile.
Harley covered her. It was quite clear that she wasn't good at being a mother. She had never taking care of anybody, except of herself, and a simply thing as it was cover a child with a blanket seems weird to her. But for her daughter she'd do any thing, even singing to her that song that broke her heart years ago.
- But then you go to sleep, ok? - she warning her.
- Of course, I will be a good girl - Lucy smiled again, an smile that from the point of view of June Moone, only could belong to Harley and Lucy Quinn. She had gone from not knowing who was that "Lucy"that Harley was mentioning in her nightmares, to being moved seeing them together.
Harley cleared her throat, holding her daughter's hand. She closed he eyes, focusing in what she had to do, to sing that song to her as she as asked for. Somehow, perhaps for the way that Lucy was looking at her, she was hopeful again. Maybe someday the nightmare would be over and she could live more or less normal life, just like the one that the Enchantress had shown her in Midway City, but with Lucy and June.
Watching you sleep for so long,
Knowing I can't turn the rain into sun any more
I've given you all that I have,
Now I stand here, too scared to hold your hand.
Harley's voice trembled as never before, trying not to cry and the delinquent really hated that. She didn't want anyone to see her weak and less her daughter. But in those circumstances and seeing the little girl, she couldn't believe everything she'd to give up, to keep Lucy safe. That girl was pure innocence, she didn't seem to be the daughter of the Joker and Harley.
Afraid you might wake to see
The monster that had to leave
'Cause you see the shelter as the storm
Holding wind to keep you warm,
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,
So sleep well my angel.
Under the ash and the lies,
Something beautiful once here now dies,
And the tears burn my eyes,
As you sit there, all alone.
Harley looked at June, whose cheeks were flooded with tears, not only because of Harley's voice (which she didn't expect it to be so beautiful and heartbreaking), but because she now understood the pain Harley had to endure when she abandoned her daughter and the pain that she was feeling at the moment to have to remember all. Harley, in turn, realized that at that time, she no longer sang the song only to her daughter, she sung also to June. Her heart was hoping for a normal life, but her mind knew the truth, 'normal' was just a washing machine programme. How could she have a 'normal' life with June and her daughter? She would always be Harley Quinn and her sins would haunt her wherever she went. Dragging June to hell with her could be the most selfish thing she'd ever done in her whole life.
I just want to come home,
But you see the shelter as the storm,
Holding wind to keep you warm,
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,
So sleep well my angel.
Sleep well, my angel.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
You see the shelter as the storm,
Holding wind to keep you warm,
You are everything to me, this is why
You see the shelter as the storm,
Holding wind to keep you warm,
You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave
So sleep well, my angel.
Sleep well, my angel.
She sang the last one, daring to kiss Lucy's forehead, who smiled innocently half-asleeping.
- Will you come to see me again someday? - the little girl asked
- Do you want me to come back? - Actually, that question from his daughter had surprised her.
- Yes, I'd like that June and you come back to see me - Lucy said.
- Very well, then June and I will return to visit you another day - Harley assured her - But now go to sleep.
- Good night Harleen, good night June - she said turning her look to see the archaeologist who had approached them.
- Good night Lu - June said goodbye going out of the room followed by Harley.
In the living room Chloe and Tess were already waiting for them, Chloe had a few bedsheets between her hands.
- I am preparing the living room so that you can sleep on the sofa bed - she explained to them.
- No, Chloe, everything is fine. We will go away to Gotham tonight - Harley affirmed - We don't want to cause you any more problems.
- I thought that it was clear that you aren't causing any problem - Tess said - But if you leave - she said opening a box on the little table beside the sofa - Go down to the garage and take the Mercedes - she said delivering the keys to Harley.
- I have my motorbike - she reminded Tess.
- If that monster has eyes everywhere it's best that you change your vehicle on a long trip - she assured - I already will return you the motorbike in a couple of days. We should think about things before acting until we hunt him.
- This is not your battle Tess - Harley tried to persuade her, but the redhair looked her with determination - Tess, you have a life more or least pacific here with your wife and the kids.
- We're on the same side - she reminded her, pointing to a photo that up to now neither June nor Harley had seen it. But there it was, in the dining room, hidden among many others. In the photo you could see Harley and Tess in a photo made with a mobile camera. In the photo Tess and Harley were both carrying a big carpet and they're looking at camera with a huge smile. That photo drew a smile on Harley's face and June surprised herself looking at Harley with affection and enjoying that precious smile -Your battles are my battles, as long as you want to be yourself again...
- All right - Harley accepted her offer picking up the keys - See U.
- See you soon - June embraced Tess and Chloe in the farewell, but she really hope to see them soon. They're good people and she was glad that other people cared for Harley.
In other hand, she wouldn't hug the other woman during their way back to Gotham, (as she had done if Harley had ride the motorbike), but she agreed with Tess, to change their mean of transport was a really good idea.
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The song is: Sleep well my angel by We Are The Fallen