Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments, the only thing I own are my own ideas. This goes for Chapter one also, seeing as I forgot to put a disclaimer on that. Sorry in advance if this chapter is on the shorter side.. I'm working on writing longer chapters! Also I just wanted to say now that I didn't grow up like this. This is all purely imagination. As always Please Review! Reviews make me happy!

My Hidden Self

Chapter Two: My History

Jace POV

*Start of Dream*

I look around and I'm in Alec's house, at first I wonder why I am here and how I got here. Then I remember that I am staying the night here, with Alec, my parents are at home, safe. Just then, I hear Alec's mom, Maryse, call us for dinner. I turn around and see Alec motioning me to follow him; I walk down the stairs behind him and go into the kitchen. I am greeted by Izzy, Robert, Maryse, and baby Max. We sit down to eat our dinner; I look to see that Maryse has made pizza and breadsticks for us, sweet!

"So boys, what movies are you planning on watching?" asks Robert

"I was thinking that we could just watch Shrek, then Monsters Inc., and then Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." Alec answers, looking at me to see if I want to watch those movies as well.

"Yeah, sure, sounds great." I reply

"Ooh, can I watch too?" Izzy asks excitedly.

"Of course you can, you're my sister." Alec answers her.

"Yeah, I don't see why not." I say

"Great, I'll make you kids some snacks later so you don't get hungry." Maryse assures us.

We all rush to finish our pizza and breadsticks so that we can go start our movie night. While I'm eating I think about how nice Maryse and Robert are. Most parents that I've meet wouldn't make pizza and breadsticks, they would order them! Maryse seems to appreciate things that are homemade though, she reminds me a little bit of my mom. My mom's name is Celine, she is really nice like Maryse is, and she also likes to make things from scratch. They both seem to have an awful lot of old things sitting around on the shelves too. Mom doesn't like it when I touch the old cups and cards and books and pictures that she has in the house, but sometimes I try to just so I can see what they are for. I don't think I'm going to try to touch any of Maryse' things though, since I am a guest.

When we all finish we go up two sets of stairs to the movie room, man this house is big! Two sets of stairs? Movie room? Seriously is this place a mansion or something? We go and sit in the movie room and I look around to see that it is like a movie theater. There is a big screen in front of the seats, the seats are exactly like what you would find in a theater, there is a popcorn machine, and a fountain pop machine. We set the movies up and then pick our seats; I choose the one on the end so that I can get out easily if I need to.

"Which movie do you want to start with?" Asks Alec.

"I was actually wondering if we could watch Barbie and the Nutcracker?" Izzy said.

Alec looks as if he might throw up the pizza and breadsticks he just ate. " N-no!" he stuttered, "This is a man's movie night! We are watching the movies we chose!" Alec and Izzy continue arguing like this for a few minutes, I felt awkward so I went to look at what drinks the Fountain pop machine had.

Suddenly I heard a phone ringing downstairs, someone answers it and I strain to hear what the person in this house was saying. I couldn't make out what the person was saying so I glance behind me to see that Izzy and Alec are still Arguing, they are. I sneak out of the room and down the stairs to the voice, I can now tell that it is Maryse talking on the phone, but still I can't tell what they are saying. Maryse suddenly gets a sad and worried expression on her face and goes to talk to Robert. I hear them talking about me and saying that they have to go and get us kids to talk to us, me in particular. I run back up the stairs hoping that I get back to the movie room before Maryse and Robert get there. I arrive and plop down into my seat with seconds to spare.

"Hey dude, where were you?" Alec asks

"Yeah, we were about to go looking-" Izzy gets cut off Robert and Maryse as they walk in.

"Jace, we need to talk to you alone real quick." Robert says. After receiving a few worried, confused, and curious looks from both Alec and Izzy, I follow Robert and Maryse out into the hall.

"Okay, Jace, we have something difficult to tell you, and we don't like it either, so please just try to stay as calm as possible." What is this? Do I have to go home now or something? It's barely 10:00, and I'm supposed to be staying the night.

"Okay, so sometimes people aren't very nice Jace, not very nice at all." Maryse started.

Robert gives a look to his wife and then continues what she started, "And… Some people decided to not be nice to you parents tonight Jace..."

Huh? What are they trying to tell me? Did something happen to my parents? "What? Are my parents alright? What happened?"

"Someone broke into your house tonight Jace, your parents were home.."

"Okay… so what happened? Did my parents call the cops? Did the cops get there in time?"

"Jace… your parents are dead… The people that robbed your house killed them…"

*End of Dream*

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM UNTIL END OF CHAPTER!

I wake up in a cold sweat. This dream, really? That was six years ago! The memory though… The memory is as fresh in my mind as it was the day that I got told. I have lived with the Lightwoods ever since, they are the only ones that wanted to take me in, and the only ones that try to help me in every way possible. I look around my room, like I always do when I wake up from one of these dreams to let myself see that I'm safe, in my room, and that my parents are in a better place. Unfortunately, as I do so my eyes catch on my razor, the razor that I use after every one of these dreams. I've told myself that I am going to stop but the temptation is just to strong now, with my worst memory fresh in my mind.

Sighing deeply, I get up and go retrieve my razor, each time I drag it across my skin, another bad memory surfaces, like the constant torments from bullies when I went back to school after I lost my parents. Every time one of the torments comes back, another reason I'm homeschooled comes back, another reason I'm anti-social comes back. Then I think about the reason all of this started… My parents. Would they really want me to be doing this to myself? It is with that thought that I calm down enough to put my razor down and walk away. I look at the new angry red marks on my arms, and they aren't that deep, mostly shallow, so I just lie back in bed knowing that sleep won't come. Even if sleep would come, I can almost guarantee that it would not be a peaceful sleep, so I'm glad that it is gone for the day, or night, whichever it is right now. I don't bother looking at the clock, because all that I really want to do right now is sleep, I don't want to have to worry about how long I have until I have to go downstairs to eat breakfast and say goodbye to my siblings until after school, I just want to think. So I lay on my bed with only one thought racing across my mind, "Is there anyone else out there like this? Anyone else so messed up that they can't even go to school?"