Erza

As usual, I am here in our old bedroom again all alone. Well, I don't really feel alone, except when I could imagine Gray talking to me while laying on our bed. Before, we always chat on our bed after we wake up first before going down to join them for breakfast. Until now, I still want to so it. It has been my daily routine already, even if Gray has to go to work before. We always talk. Though right now, it's a lot different because I'm not even sure if it was Gray who's answering me or just myself. But obviously, it was just me who keeps imagining Gray is still with me, when I knew all along he isn't already and never will be anymore.

"Gray...how many kids do you want, again?", I asked him and gave him a smile.

"Hmm...before, I told you I only want three or four. But the truth is, I really want ten kids running around our house." He said and chuckled softly. "You know, if only we started making one during our honeymoon night and continue making another ones until now, we'd probably have three or four already. One child per year."

"Why didn't tell me you're leaving me so soon? So, we could have started making one already." I asked him, my voice starting to sound disappointed and sad. "And why didn't you tell me you wanted to have ten? So we could have started it early?"

" Well...you had lots of dreams and ambitions. I also want you to achieve them first before piling you up the responsibilities of being a mother which you'll have with you for a lifetime." He says.

"I don't care..." Then, I just realized tears started streaming down from my face already. "I would prefer being lousy and busy and taking care of our kids...than being alone."

Then, I saw him glancing away from me. "I'm sorry, Erza. I didn't know I was going to die early." He just said.

I wiped my tears away with my fingers, rubbed my eyes for a few seconds until it's no longer watery. But as I clearly opened my eyes, I can no longer see Gray beside me. He disappeared without any warning again. Like what he always do, and what he did...when he died on that car crash.

I don't wanna cry anymore. I want to move on, but it just feels so difficult without him. Those things I wanted to do and I promised to do with him until I grow old can never be done anymore. I know I could do it, knowing my own personality. The only thing I don't ever want to feel someday is that everything I did without Gray would all be worthless because I did it without him. I know that would make me a stronger woman, but I feel like being so selfish because all the benefits would just be felt by me, without sharing it with the man I promised to share with it. Damn, I don't know if my mind is still right. I'm too damn depressed to have my mind on the right thinking.

"Erza?" I heard Ultear calling from the hallway, knocking at the door.

"C-come in!" I said loudly, so she won't notice my different voice after crying.

She entered and slowly closed the door. "Erza...we need to talk." She says and finally slammed the door close.

"About what?" I wondered.

She sat beside me on the bed. Then, I paced upwards to sit on the bed and lean my back on the headboard. She took a deep breath before spilling out whatever she has to say. While I'm curiously waiting for whatever she wanted to talk about. Is it about Gray? The incident between me and bluey yesterday? About me living in with them? If not, what then?

"It's about you...coping with Gray's death." She started. I was like, "what's with me coping Gray's death? What do we need to talk about it? I'm trying to work out on it even if it is too hard.", inside me. But then I just decided to lend mg ears on her for whatever she wants to say. "You know It's been two years since Gray died."

"Yeah, I know that."

"Yeah it's been two years and yet you are still acting as if Gray just died yesterday." She said. Then, I gave her a deathly glance which I usually give those importunate students during my years as the Student Council President. "i-it's not that I'm saying you should just go forget about Gray completely. I didn't mean to offend you by that. I do know how much you love Gray and how hard it is for you to forget him. Well, I'm not saying you should forget Gray, but rather step forward without him."

"Step forward without him? Ultear...he's half of my life. I should be doing those things I wanted in life with him, like achieving own my dreams and having kids. How can you expect me to step forward and still do those things when he is already gone?"

Ultear sighed and attempted to explain her side and point further to me once again. "Okay, Gray is gone. You're a widow already and what's worse you two didn't have a kid before he died and so you are instantly- familyless. You already suffered emotionally and psychologically when he unexpectedly died. You've been depressed for two years already, and you're still suicidal until now. What I'm trying to really say is that...you should start letting go of him so you'll be able to let go of the pain as well."

Okay? So...

"I don't know how to directly tell you this but...you should start to move on. Not by means of totally forgetting him as your husband, he'll always be your husband. But no matter what you do he'll never return from the dead. That's why you can't just depress yourself over him all the time. Again, you have to continue your life without him, but of course we're going to help you to do that." She continued.

Can I really step forward and continue my life without Gray?

"Without Gray...I'll continue my life?" I said, with my voice shattering into sadness.

"Oh, Erza, honey, come on. I know it's going to be hard for you, but we're all here to help you deal with it. If we all managed to move forward despite Gray's loss, I'm sure you can to." She comforted me by patting my back. I sobbed on her shoulder. "Look at you, you're very pretty. But, your beauty for now couldn't be seen because you've been so depressed."

I wiped my tears away again. Damn, if only crying too much could drain all the water in my body, I'm probably dead as Gray right now. "But...how will I move on? What am I supposed to do first?" I asked her, then I pulled away from her.

"Well...my main purpose why I really wanted to talk to you. Last night, we've been talking about the best way and the first thing you should do in order to succeed in getting over Gray's death." She says. "Based from my idea and our agreement regarding it...we're planning to have everything around you that are related to Gray disappear like for the meantime. Like...we're going to bring you to a place where you can't see some things and people that will only remind you of Gray. To a place, where you haven't been and where you can start recreating the new chapter of your life."

"You all want me to take to a place I don't know just to get those things related to Gray out of my sight?" I scoffed.

"Yeah, that's it. But don't worry the place we are planning to take you is surely safe. We can ensure your shelter, food, safety there. There are lots of place you could visit and tour there. Lots of nice people are living there." She explained.

"W-where is it located? Is it far away from here?" I asked curiously. I can't just believe my family, Gray's family, wanted me to take somewhere I don't know just to help me get over Gray. "And what kind of place is it?"

"It's located at the South of Fiore, in the province of Rosemary. Yes, it is far away, literally. It'll take 7-8 hours to get there with a car, but only 5-6 hours if train." She answered. "We have a rest house there. There's someone there I could entrust for your safety and care. She just lives near the rest house and she's also the caretaker of the house. Take note, it's a province so there'll only be a few malls and theaters there. It's a nature-friendly place that's why it's where some people like to spend their summer. Anyways, if you go there, you'll see how beautiful that place is."

"W-when will I go there? W-will I be with you or any of you, all of you?" I asked once again.

"Umm, no. But don't worry, we'll visit you some time if you want us to. But like I said, for the meantime, you have to be away from everything that is related to Gray or that will remind you of Gray." She explained.

"How long am I gonna stay there? Does it depend on me?"

"Well, our plan is to have you stay there until August. Meaning, you have the whole summer to start recreating the new chapter of your life - again, without Gray."

It's a nice idea, but I'm not really sure if it would be a successful plan. I could imagine myself having just one day without seeing something that will remind me of Gray. Because every time I see something dear to our relationship it just makes me sadder. If one day or two, or most probably the whole summer, I would be able to not be depressed and miserable over Gray's death, I'm sure I could find it easy already to step forward. Yes, Ultear is right. I'm not going to forget Gray, I'm just going to learn how to continue my life all by myself. After all, Gray is my husband and will always be my husband no matter what.

I'm just going to spend the whole summer away from everything that is related and close to Gray. Away from every place that has his aura. Spend the whole summer exploring a new place, exploring new things and meeting new people as well. That's all. I have no intention of finding someone to act as a rebound or someone that will replace Gray on my heart and life. As I say yes to this plan, I have one condition:

I will never ever let myself get involve into a summer romance with someone. Gray is the only man in my life.

I took a deep breath before telling Ultear my answer as well as my decision. "Okay...I want to go. I'll start preparing my stuffs, and I want to leave soon. The day after tomorrow, exactly as summer officially starts.

Oooooooooo

Jellal

Finally, the whole semester is over! The moment the bell rung as we are taking our final examinations, everyone cheered excitedly to go out of the campus and start doing those things they've been planning to do as summer officially starts. As for me and my friends, we can now finally start packing our stuffs for we will spend our whole summer at the province of Rosemary. It's just a sad thing I missed going with them at Rosemary last year since I wasn't in the mood to have fun with them. But now, I wouldn't let myself miss going there this summer.

I started emptying my locker and stuff my things on my backpack. My textbooks, notebooks, art materials, extra gym clothes and extra pair of rubber shoes. Yeah, I don't how I managed to make all of them fit inside my locker and in my backpack as well. I slammed the door of the locker close and made my way out the campus. As I was walking, Ultear who just got out from her class approached me.

"Jellal!" She approached me.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked her, while we're walking.

"Going to Rosemary with the gang?" She says.

"Yeah, as always. It's our summer routine." I nodded with a small smile as I remembered how excited I am to be at that place again. It's not just the breezy summer feeling I wanted in that place, but the happy memories it reminds me. "You coming with us?"

"Umm, yeah, but not for now. Maybe in the next few weeks or month. It depends on my schedule." She says. Then, she just suddenly stopped in my way, stopping me from walking towards the exit door. "Wait!"

"What? You want me to do you a favor or something? Anything you wanna talk about?" I asked her. I know Ultear whenever she does stop me from walking by stopping in front of me. It simply means she's going to ask me to do a favor. I just don't get why does she have to always stop in front of me. It's not like I'm gonna run away from her.

"Yeah..." She nodded before spilling out whatever she wanted go say. "I've been a good friend to you, right?" She asked. Why was she asking that? Is she going to ask me to do a favor that is difficult to do? She better not ruin my summer if I do whatever she is asking me to do so. "Yes, you are a good friend, except when you got me detained in jail for three days because you made me trespass to a private property just to look for your effing locket." I told her.

"That's not the point, and will you please forgive me already for that since it's been three years since that happened!" She gritted her teeth in annoyance. Then, she took a deep breath before continuing whatever she wants to open up to me. "Okay...if I tell you, please don't react so exaggerated."

"Okay, I will not." I nodded and sigh as I waited for her next words.

"I know how you've been depressed. And you still probably remember how you're able to go through with it, especially you didn't just experienced it once, but twice. The first one happened when you were traumatized as a child. Okay, my point is-! Is...I want you to befriend Erza, and help her cope with her husband's death."

I promised not to react exaggerated, but I couldn't. Maybe promises are just really meant to be broken. "Are you craaazy or just simply sadistic that you want my life to be put in danger again?! I'd rather die by committing suicide over depression, than being killed under the hands of your monstrous sister-in-law who is hiding under an angelic face of a human and who almost killed me with a pipe that just magically appeared on her boobs!"

"She's not monstrous! Erza is a kind and lovely girl. She's just frightened that you might have really taken advantage of her while she's drunk. But, whatever! Let me finish first, will ya?!" She groaned annoyance. "Okay...Erza is just depressed and out of her mind. All she could think of is her dead husband. She is suicidal as you were a year ago."

"Okay?"

"I want you to befriend her, and help her to cope with Gray's death. Don't worry, it won't ruin your summer. You'll still be able to come with the gang at Rosemary, because we are sending Erza to our rest house in Rosemary." She explained. "The rest house she'll be staying at is just near your parents' rest house, where you've been staying every time you visit that place. So what I'm thinking is for you to start befriending Erza. Just act as if you two just met there by coincidence. To gain her trust, try doing some good things at her so she could be at ease with you. Oh, please, Jellal, this will be the last favor I'll ever ask you."

"I'll act...as if I just met with her there by coincidence. If that's the case, then...we're not going to reunite because of the red string of fate. Then, it's no fun at all. Our reunion will be scripted!"

"Oh, you stupid- just tell me if you want to or not!" She shouted at me annoyingly.

Erza Titania-Fullbuster aka Erza Scarlet...I've been wanting to get to know you better. There's something in you that just suddenly made me feel like I needed to discover the whole you. And I wanted to scrape off the sadness and tears that are covering your beautiful face. I wanna see your natural beautiful eyes that sparkle with joy, your lips that bring out the happiness in you, your charming face that should never be in a sad expression and...your beautiful scarlet hair.

"Okay...I will. I'll do it." I told her so she would shut the hell up.

"Really?! You will?!" She exclaimed in relief and thankfulness.

"Yeah, do you want me to take it back?" I scoffs at her in a joking manner.

"Of course not! Jellal...thank you!" She thanked me.

And I will find out if you are the scarlet-haired girl I've been wanting to find for years since I was eleven.

Knightwalker...

Ooooooooo

3rd Person

After seven and a half hours of drive, Lyon and Erza finally arrived the province of Rosemary. Erza just read the signage that says, "Welcome to Rosemary", which also serves as its boundary between the other area. She studied everything she could see as Lyon was driving on their way to the rest house. It's a rural area, but still there are theaters, clothing stores, grocery stores and etc. But not as many as the city of Magnolia have. There are more fields, street markets and stores and some barns wherein people keep farm animals.

She could barely recall the last time she'd been in a provincial town. She knew she could have to make a big adjustment in staying at a provincial town, since she used to grow up in a city. But she thinks that provincial towns from what she imagined aren't that bad. The air is fresh, there lots of shady trees, wide plains and hills to stroll, horses to ride and take a stroll on the town and foods she rarely eat on Magnolia. Half an hour later, Lyon finally stopped by in front of a big beautiful wooden ranch house.

"Thank god! I thought we're lost. The GPS is surely helpful." Lyon says as he unloaded Erza's duffel bags and suitcases from the compartment on back of the car. "I've never been in to this place before. I regretted not going here before. I never thought this would be a lot better than our rest house in the North."

Erza roamed around the place, and she admit that the she do thinks the place could help her be in peace for the meantime. Ul's family just found the perfect spot for their rest house. There's a lake nearby where she could go skinny dipping or fishing. A hill where she could have a picnic and see half of the town's view. A nice plain beside where she could ride in one of the horses from the stable backyard.

Lyon carefully dropped her suitcases and duffel bags in the living room inside. Erza roamed around the house. The style of the house is more like a hunter's lodge or a cabin. Almost all of the furnitures are made of wood.

"So, what do you think? Do you think you'll be comfortable in here?" Lyon asked.

"Oh, sure, I think so. The town is very nature-friendly and peaceful. And this house is also nice." Erza answered.

"Just call us in case of emergency or if you change your mind. In case you wanted to go home already, so I can pick you up."

"Okay, thank you for driving me here all the way from Magnolia, Lyon."

Lyon embraced his sister-in-law before bidding her a goodbye. "Take care of yourself. Help yourself to let go of the pain. Gray, wouldn't be happy if you'll be miserable forever because of him." Then, they pulled away from each other.

"Bye, Erza. I have to go."

"Are you sure you can drive another eight hours this time?" She asked worryingly.

"I'm sure I can. I wouldn't want to ruin your moment to have this place and house all by yourself. So, goodbye, for now."

"Bye." Erza says to Lyon. Then, Lyon finally goes back to his car and started driving away from the house.

As Erza was officially left alone to do the first step of stepping forward, she first bid herself a good luck on whatever might happen to her or whatever might come for her in this place.