13. Your Destiny Still Awaits, She Says
Tasha blinked her eyes open slowly, startled by the sheer volume of magic she felt coursing almost violently through her veins. "That's new," she grunted. Curious, she relaxed and ice pulsed out around her.
"Maker's breath!" She felt the thump as someone jumped back, metal clashing against stone. She jerked up onto her elbows to see Alistair staring at her. Two sets of wide eyes met.
Then she started to smile. He followed suit and then they were laughing, bright peals of amusement and relief. "Sorry," she gasped out when she could breathe.
"Should I be worried when I wake you up in the future? I mean, not that…" Embarrassment caused his neck and ears to flush, the pink steadily creeping up.
"Alistair, shut up." Her grey eyes danced brightly with mirth. "You're cute when you babble but I just woke up."
"Oh, so you think I'm cute, do you?" Alistair winked at her and Tasha blinked at him, startled that for the first time she could read him loud and clear; he was so relieved that she'd woken up all right that he could hardly stand.
Delight broke through then and she turned her head just as Medb pounced on her in a hug. "Stop flirting and let me have some time with Tash. Is it alright if I call you Tash?" Medb asked once she had pulled away. She appeared the model of good health, eyes bright, hair shiny though there was still a faint sheen of sweat on her skin. It only provided a contrast for what she had been like before.
"Darkspawn blood agrees with you," Tasha quipped, sensing her magic no longer giving the elf strength.
Medb's smile lit up her face, despite the slightness. "It's a much slower death this time around. I'll take all the time I can get. Ol' Worrywort here," she jabbed a thumb toward Alistair, "wanted to make sure you'd wake up. I knew you'd be fine. Plus if you died, I'd be stuck as the junior Grey Warden with him and I'd put an arrow through him before the week was out."
"Hey!" Alistair protested.
"Oh, please. Try to deny it."
"What happened to Jory and Daveth's bodies?" The last word tried to stick in her throat and she forced it out.
Grief and other forms of emotional pain flickered from the pair of her fellow Wardens, clear as day. "We already had the pyre," Alistair said, uncertain how the mage was going to react. She pulled herself up into a full sitting position as he continued, "Duncan originally wanted it before you two woke up, in case one or both of you wasn't feeling...well, anyway, Medb came to earlier than expected."
Tasha winced as she nodded. "Probably a good idea. Even in the Circle, I was kept away from funerals. All that grief in one place. Bad idea for me."
Medb's eyebrows snapped together and the sharp combination of confusion and curiosity had Tasha holding back a groan. She needed to get her shields back up and running. "Alistair, the amulet?"
"Oh, right." He pulled a pendant out of his pack and the chain slid down so she could see it. "It's got some of the blood in it from your Joining. To remind you of…" he hesitated, sadness tripping over his emotions, "those who didn't make it."
Tasha took the necklace but didn't put it on. "To Jory and Daveth. May you rest in peace in the Maker's sight." Or wherever they had ended up, she added privately. It was then that she slipped it over her head, feeling the weight heavy between her breasts.
"Duncan wanted to talk to us when you woke up. He's been getting a little antsy," Medb informed her.
Instinctively, she cast out a net, found him, and frowned as she got the read off him. "He's worried, probably that I won't wake up in time." She frowned. In time for what? She met Alistair's eyes. "There was lyrium in that Maferath's balls awful stuff, wasn't there."
"How did you-"
"I've only gotten lyrium a handful of times in my life but a mage never forgets what it feels like after. I've got a major power boost right now and I think I'm itching for a fight."
Alistair blinked.
"Duncan?" Medb reminded her.
"All right. Let's go."
Duncan was talking to the quartermaster when they approached. Tasha, startled that she could sense his emotions, shifted uncomfortably as his relief and pride hit her like a ton of bricks. "Ah, there you are. It's good to see you awake. How do you feel?"
"Weird. That was far more painful than the Harrowing but I'd rather wake up from the Joining than the Harrowing." The muscles in Tasha's jaw twitched as she remembered. The temperature around her lowered a bit. Medb tossed her a curious glance.
"Such is what it takes to be a Grey Warden. Alistair, did you give them the pendants?"
"Of course."
"The king has asked that Medb and Tasha join us in a meeting with his advisors."
Anger. Distaste. Tasha swiveled around to face Alistair, who had turned to where she supposed the king was. His jaw muscles tensed and his eyes narrowed. Medb joined her in studying him curiously.
"Alistair?" she asked, hesitantly touching his arm. He yanked it away as though he'd brushed against a live coal.
"I'm fine."
"Come quickly." Duncan moved swiftly away. Alistair, shoulders tense, went the opposite direction. Tasha swung her head between the two, torn.
"I'll meet you there," she muttered to Medb before bounding off after Alistair. The elf stared after her friend before glancing in Duncan's direction. Jaw set, she settled down against a stone pillar.
"Alistair! Wait!" Tasha called, lifting up the hem of her robes so she wouldn't trip and land on her face. His steps faltered.
"If the king wants you, you should probably go." This time it was Tasha's turn to miss a step, startled by the bitter vehemence laced in his voice and assaulting her gift. He carried on, not noticing the way her eyes narrowed at the hint of an accusing tong in his voice. "Otherwise he'll get upset, start crying and-well, it would just be bad."
Finally, Tasha managed to grab his gloves, dampening down the sparks that threatened to lash out at her confusion and unease. She tugged on it, surprised when he turned toward her. Then she saw the hurt and anger buried beneath the bitterness. "I wouldn't go if he couldn't take my head off," she told him, searching his dark eyes. "The man is an idiot and far too obvious about the fact that he finds me attractive."
His face shuttered, but that didn't stop the anger and disdain he was feeling. "He is? I mean, he does? I mean-"
"I really don't return any attention from him. I don't welcome it or him. I've known too many people like him and they only want in my robes because of my face or body. They don't care about me."
Shame. Her brow furrowed as a blush crept up his neck from underneath his neck guard and idly wondered how far down it went. Then she mentally spluttered, her flinch not going unnoticed by Alistair. He coughed. "Either way, you should probably go see what he wants. I'll be by Duncan's tent if you- if he needs me."
Alistair stood up hastily as they approached, Tasha in the lead. The temperature, already cooling because of the approaching storm, dropped more as she got near. "Tasha, I-oh," he said when he saw Duncan and Medb behind her, taking a step back. "Duncan." His brow furrowed as he took in the set jaws and narrowed eyes of the two newest Wardens. "What happened?" he asked.
"The king," Tasha spat, sparks flaring to life, "thinks he requires three, count them three, Grey Wardens up there."
"Up...where? What's going on?" Alistair stared at them, bewildered, as Medb's lip curled. Tension radiated off the pair.
"The Tower of Ishal. Signal the rest of the troops." Quickly and succinctly, Medb filled the other Warden in on the battle plans. Her voice was not entirely steady though she attempted to relay the information just as she would the Keeper.
"You can't be serious! He needs three Wardens up there holding the torch?" Alistair fumed.
"That is what the king," Duncan emphasized the title firmly, "wants and that is what we will do."
"I left the Tower to fight darkspawn! Not be a servant for an idiot with an inflated sense of self-worth. Any idiot could be a king." Tasha glared at Duncan, who stared evenly back at the mage.
"Keep your voice down," Duncan finally growled, the calm exterior cracking.
Tasha's temper flared. "Why? Because he can order my head taken off? Newsflash: that's what I've been living with for the past twelve years. Twelve years of knowing I could die every day because I made the wrong move or was just a touch too aggressive. Twelve years of being ordered around by men and women who had the threat of a sword at my throat if I didn't obey. I'm sick of it!"
She turned and stomped away, only realizing when she'd gone a good dozen yards that her anger was boiling hot and she froze mid-step. Her mind flashed back to the Harrowing. Abruptly, her anger cooled as fear replaced it.
"I am real. This is real. I'm not in the Fade. I'm not possessed." Quietly she murmured facts, reassuring herself of reality, and ignoring the voice that whispered in the back of her mind of the dangers of magic. Then she flushed with shame. "What in the Maker's hairy toenails was that?" That was an overreaction if she'd ever had one. Feeling more subdued, she made her way back to Duncan's tent.
"I get it, I get it. Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn, or no," she heard Alistair say as she approached.
"I don't know," she said quietly, stepping into the firelight with an uncertain glance at the man. He turned at the sound of her voice. She supposed the others did too but for the moment, she was only concerned with his reaction. "I think I'd like to see that."
Surprise flickered in his eyes, echoed by the stirrings in his emotions before being followed by something deeper that Tasha didn't want to investigate too deeply. "For you, maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress."
That prompted a slight upward curve of one side of her mouth. Then she looked at Duncan and hoped her apology was visible in her eyes. "Will we be able to join the battle after?"
He shook his head. "Remain there. If we need you, we'll send word."
Irritation. Medb turned her head just enough to see how Tasha would react but the mage simply asked, "Will you be down with the rest of the army and Wardens?"
Guilt. "I should be down there now. Alistair, would you hold onto the treaties?"
He accepted the old scrolls gingerly before swallowing hard. "Duncan, may the Maker watch over you."
"May He watch over us all."
Tasha's head jerked towards the Warden Commander as he walked off, one hand resting on the pommel of his sword. With sudden and perfect clarity, she realized that he didn't expect to survive. She touched him with her magic, pressing a faint shield around him like a second skin. The wind picked up further, carrying with it the smell of rain and the distant rumblings of thunder.
The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. When Alistair tried to walk away, she grabbed his arm. "Tasha?" Medb asked, moving so she could see her friend's face.
The mage's jaw clenched briefly as she searched his eyes. "Something's wrong."
"Look, we've been given orders. Let's just get to the Tower quickly."
Tasha focused on the Dalish Warden. "Medb?"
"I don't like it any more than you do," she replied slowly, brow furrowed. There was still a deep tremor of anger thrumming through her but it was slowly sinking into wariness and uncertainty. "But we were given an order and even if we don't like it, the strategy seems sound." Tasha suspected she was trying to convince herself but turned her attention to Alistair. He frowned, light eyebrows pinched together in thought.
Despite the gnawing worry in her gut, she forced a smile and shook her head. The expression felt stiff, even to her, but there was no point in putting up a fight when this was a battle she couldn't win. "Never mind. I'm probably just being silly. Tower of Ishal, right?"
AN: Still not super sure about the chapter title. I might come back in later after I've had a look at lines from the season 4 finale (please tell me someone knows what TV show it's from because it's one of my favorites) and change it although for now, we're fine.
I have a new beta who is SUPER on top of things. Like holy Moses. So expect updates to start occurring regularly again. I will be taking a looksee to see if they're on here but I KNOW that they're on AO3. Toolatetofall. Go take a look at their stuff. Lots of Ryder family. Good stuff.