Shizune reclined slightly in her chair glancing out the window of the Hokage's residence. It had been yet another long day. A yawn escaped her lips much to her own surprise. She rubbed at her eyes and tried to shake off the sudden melancholy. Despite her best efforts, it clung to her. It had been like this for weeks now. She was usually so tireless in her duties as Hokage's assistant, but recently it was exhausting. At least, that is what she tried to tell herself.
"Yo," A voice called out right next to her.
Shizune flailed snapped out of her thoughts by the sudden intrusion. The flailing was a mistake causing her to quickly lose balance in her seat. It tipped back before suddenly slipping her onto the floor. With a crash, she found herself on her back staring up at Kakashi who was scratching the back of his head in confusion.
"Aie! Hokage-sama!" Shizune shouted sprouting to her feet. Her cheeks were as red as cherries as she struggled to compose herself after being caught in such an embarrassing position.
Holding up his hands disarmingly Kakashi pleaded, "Please drop the sama."
Finally getting control of her swirling embarrassment she calmed a little, and deflated, "Sorry, Hokage."
"Oh?" Kakashi said looking at her closely, "No I am sorry, I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that." Shizune always felt uncomfortable when Kakashi was analyzing her like that. The scarecrow's eyes always felt like they could peer into the soul. Even with his sharingan removed, those eyes could read a person like a book.
"Did you ever get those reports from Kirigakure?" Kakashi asked, and to Shizune it seemed like that was the second time he was asking. Suddenly getting flustered she chewed the inside of her lip.
"I," Shizune began shifting through the documents on her desk in a frantic hurry to produce the documents. She came up empty. "I don't think I have them. Sorry Hokage-sama."
She felt a hand on her shoulder give it a gentle squeeze. Glancing over she saw Kakashi's trademark eye-smile as he shook his head. "Please, drop the sama and don't worry about it Shizune, I am sure Shikamaru has them and just forgot to mention it. This isn't like you though. Are you feeling well?"
The raven-haired woman withered a little more under the Hokage's studious eyes. Letting out a little sigh she shook her head, "I think I am just a little tired is all."
"Why don't you take the rest of the day and tomorrow off?" Kakashi seemed to suggest, but Shizune rapidly shook her head.
"No I couldn't Hokage, we have some much to do to prepare the embassy and-" Shizune began in a flurry of words.
"I will order it if I have to," Kakashi stated, cutting Shizune's argument short.
Letting out a short sigh Shizune shook her head, "That won't be necessary Kakashi."
"Good," Kakashi stated walking back to the door of his office. He had been doing that too her recently. Frustrating her with this time off. Though she guessed it was supposed to be a reward. In truth, she never really partakes in time off. There was always something to do before. Whether that be attend to the hospital, assist Tsunade, her work as the Hokage's assistant, or the million other tasks she would make up for herself.
Then there was Kakashi's insistence that she took the time off, even going so far as ordering her too on several occasions. She watched as the door to his office closed and proceeded to gather her things. It was his fault she had been like this recently. He was so damn agitating. No one else ever insisted she take time off like this.
Upon finishing the collection of her belongings Shizune departed heading towards her home. It was dusk and many people were just getting off work and flooding into the streets. The sudden activity did little to draw Shizune's attention from her thoughts. She berated herself for the malice she found there.
Damning the Hokage wasn't fair. Shizune shook those cruel thoughts from her head. It wasn't his fault at all. He was just giving her the opportunity to experience life like nobody else before had even considered. That only increased her frustration. And all that frustration stemmed from her sudden loneliness. She always had someone to dote on when she was with Tsunade, but now that the woman had retired and strictly forbade Shizune from attending her like in the past, there was no one around for her to confide in.
Loneliness was only a part of her frustration, too. There was also the fact that she had no idea what to do for herself. She didn't really have any hobbies. She had friends, but no one she shared a connection with like she did with Tsunade.
Entering her apartment, she felt the culmination of her sad thoughts threaten to choke her suddenly. Maybe it was the lack of furnishings, or the lack of a personal touch, but even her home seemed like a cold, foreign place. She could feel her eyes begin to burn as tears she didn't even know she was repressing began threatening to pour from her eyes. A nuzzling of her leg centered her and looking down she saw Tonton.
The sudden glee from seeing her other closest friend was enough to ward of the sorrow threatening to wrack her heart. She scratched the chin of the piggy and then picked her up hugging the oinker to her chest.
"Buhi," The piggy seemed to remark nuzzling again Shizune's cheek.
"It's nothing," Shizune giggled half-heartedly, but Tonton didn't seem to buy it letting out a soft whine. "It's just, I feel so lonely with Tsunade gone and all this time off is making it hard to ignore." She flopped down on her bed letting the pig nuzzle into her chest. It let out another long whine of agreement seeming to deflate along with Shizune. The two just laid there staring at the ceiling for several minutes, wallowing in self-pity.
"Now I have the rest of tonight and all of tomorrow. What am I going to do?" Shizune asked Tonton stroking the little piggy. It was a rhetorical question, but a few minutes later Tonton seemed to spring to life oinking noisily and nuzzling the woman's face with suggestions.
"Okay, okay!" Shizune giggled stroking the piggy. She shot up from the bed with renewed purpose. "You know what! You are right. I spent years on the road with Tsunade herself. I know how to have a good time." Shizune slid open her closet door. The medic-nin was unable to hold back her grimace at the lack of variety. She had black kimonos like the one she was wearing and her shinobi uniform. She shrugged her shoulders and took out another kimono, then hopped into the shower.
"I could definitely use a drink," Shizune had decided, "Maybe a lay too." Her cheeks tinted slightly red remembering her last encounter. It had been before she had even come to Konoha. She used to have a moderate sex life back then, but here in Konoha she found herself lacking the desire to get involved. When she was traveling with Tsunade she knew they would always move on, but here. She was afraid of what people would say.
Shaking her head at her sudden doubts she turned off the shower and toweled herself off. She took measure of herself in the mirror and let out a little sigh. The medic-nin had always wished she was just a little prettier. She didn't find herself ugly, but she didn't find herself remarkable in any way either. She didn't have the unique pink or blonde hair of Sakura and Ino. She didn't have the assets of Tsunade or Hinata. The woman wasn't exactly flat chested, but there wasn't much there.
With a shrug of her shoulders Shizune rummaged through her drawers for something sexy to wear, at least underneath her kimono. She wanted to feel sexy, almost needed to. Anything to give her the confidence to break her dry spell and maybe cure some of this loneliness.
Once again, a severe lack of variety depressed her. An offer from Ino to take her shopping briefly crossed into her mind, but the raven-haired woman shook her head at the thought. Ino was a notorious gossip. Shizune didn't need that kind of attention.
Settling on some matching black lace, Shizune began to doll herself up. At least, it was her version of getting dolled up. A slight amount of makeup, a little work on the hair and at last, making sure her outfit lay just right. Admittedly, she didn't look any different than she normally did, but she did decide on the sandals with the higher heels.
The leaf-nin did feel good about herself as she studied herself in the mirror. She might not be able to compete with some of those more attractive kunoichi, but she wouldn't lose to everyone. With a little confidence Shizune burst from her home marching to the more popular of the clubs in town.
Shizune sighed and downed another shot of sake. Her cheeks were already feeling a little warm. It had been roughly two hours since she arrived. It was starting to approach late evening. Deciding to take another gander at the club she scanned the crowd.
It was a nice place. A much more modern touch to Konoha, having been built after Pein's attack. The atmosphere was dark, with bright lights strafing the room. There were a few private karaoke rooms lining a main room. Overlooking the main room was an open VIP lounge sitting a floor above. The main room itself featured a bar, a DJ booth, and a large dancefloor already packed with the younger crowd.
That crowd was young too. It made her feel bitter. She guessed she was amongst the oldest present which was probably why she had been largely ignored. Here they all were in their flashy skirts and tight little dresses and Shizune was wearing a kimono. Maybe she was born after her time. Shizune let the thoughts drown out of her head as an attractive dark-haired man approached her. He was a young thing, maybe mid-twenties, but his brown eyes were glued to hers. As he approached Shizune's eyes roamed more of his figure.
He was very athletic and quite tall too. She always had a thing for the tall ones. She just couldn't stand looking down at someone she was with. His face was rather non-descript. His head maybe a little too square, but Shizune didn't mind. She wasn't looking for the perfect match or anything, just a pick me up.
"How are you doing angel?" The man asked Shizune with only a slight slur to his voice as he danced up and leaned on the bar. Despite the corny pick up line Shizune felt her cheeks warm a little.
"I am okay," Shizune stated with a slight shake to the awkwardness of her conversation, "And yourself?"
"Well, alright," The man said with a grin taking a shot of sake, but not seemingly interested in her conversation. Upon further inspection, she thought he might have been a little drunk. "You wanna dance?"
"Uh, yes please," Shizune nodded rapidly, eager to not have to hold a conversation with someone so much younger than her. She doubted that she had anything interesting to say to him, nor him to her. He casually took her by the hand and led her out onto the dance floor. Shizune wasn't exactly a great dancer, but she thought she was alright and started to really get into it. Just as she was starting to enjoy herself the man chuckled.
"Those moves are a little old, but you are rocking it!" The man commented. The comment did feel backhanded to Shizune and she felt her cheeks glow with embarrassment. Luckily, the lighting was in her favor. Still, the medic-nin reeled herself in not wanting to blow her shot with a semi-attractive man, even if he lacked in manners.
"Sorry," Shizune answered, but the man just shrugged it off. "What is your name?"
"Yuuto, what's yours?" the now identified man asked.
She answered him as she mimicked some of the younger more conservative dancers. It wasn't anywhere near as fun, but the man seemed to grin a little less at her expense. They danced for a while and had a quite a few more drinks each. He was polite enough to pay for them. Every second of conversation felt strained and awkward though. She expected him to cut and run at any moment.
"Hey, you wanna go back to my place," Yuuto asked suddenly as they finished another round of drinks at the bar. Shizune briefly considered declining. She didn't really feel connected to him, but he was handsome. Considering her objective, she inwardly shrugged and nodded.
"I would love to," Shizune said offering a giddy smile. Sure, he might have just wanted some easy sex, but admittedly that is what she was there for too. His apartment turned out to not be too far. As soon as they entered the door he was all over her. Kissing her neck, feeling her up, making out with her a little. She tried to escape making out as much as she could though. He had drunk quite a lot and his breath was atrocious. She even found it hard to get into the foreplay. Yuuto was very clumsy, maybe due to his inebriation.
Glancing around the apartment as he sucked on her neck like a leech she took in the sights. There wasn't much there, but it was at least more personalized than her own apartment was. But it was also incredibly messy. Not quite disgustingly so, but she was surprised he wasn't embarrassed to bring company home. Realizing she was practically ignoring him she did her best to shake away what she considered motherly thoughts.
She felt him up a bit and proceeded to stroke him through his pants a little. Slowly, things shifted to his bedroom. It was going a bit suddenly for her, but she was starting to get pretty worked up and excited. She could feel herself beginning to moisten from his touch. If only he would stop trying to kiss her mouth with that nasty breath.
The medic-nin found herself wishing he didn't have such a baby face too. Not like she wanted a beard or anything, but some bristle brushing against her neck always sent chills down her spine. She found herself under him as Yuuto's hand began exploring between her legs. But the way he was laying on her was pressing against her bladder which was overflowing from the alcohol. She gently pushed him off causing him to cast her a confused look.
"Sorry, I just need to freshen up really quick," Shizune offered a polite smile. To his credit, he just nodded and indicated the bathroom. Shizune stood from the bed and went inside the bathroom. As she flicked the light on and closed the door behind her she grew a little disgusted. It was a small bathroom with a filthy toilet and a shower that looked like it hadn't been cleaned since he moved in.
Toothpaste stained various places of the sink. She snorted at that sight. Maybe if he got any of it in his mouth she could kiss him. She tried to ignore it and found herself squatting over the toilet, unwilling to meet the surface of it. It was uncomfortable, but she managed. As she peed she glanced at the empty toilet paper roll. She cussed quietly as she began a more in-depth search. None was in sight. When she finished peeing she looked under the sink, but nothing.
Well, her mood was killed, but she didn't want that to ruin the whole night. A quick judgement call was made and she slipped out of her kimono and used the bottom fringe to wipe herself. She didn't want to walk back out their cold either so she tried to work herself up through her lacy panties. She closed her eyes and when she felt she had reached a good level of arousal, she dolled up her hair a little and opened the door wearing nothing but her high heeled sandals and her lacy lingerie.
"Sorry I took so long handsome," Shizune purred as the door opened fully. She was answered by heavy snores. Yuuto was knocked out cold on the bed and is that? Yes, he vomited too. Shizune let out a growl stomping her foot on the ground in frustration.
"Why can't anything ever go right?!" Shizune practically yelled unable to control her anger. Yuuto didn't even flinch, sleeping right through. Shizune quickly gathered up her things and put on her stained kimono. She was about to just leave, but decided that would be irresponsible. She navigated around the vomit and at least propped Yuuto up on his side. That way he wouldn't drown himself if he puked more. Satisfied that he wasn't going to die she truly left.
The Hokage's assistant practically bolted from his apartment and was so pleased when she reached the fresh cool evening Konoha air. It was hard to shake off what just happened. The more she thought about her ill-luck with men the more upset she became. Tears threatened to well up out of her eyes. Shizune started walking at a brisker pace as if she could get away from her sorrow. The faster she walked the blurrier her vision became from the salty tears pooling there. She pinched her eyes shut and began running. Still unable to outrun her solace she channeled chakra to her feet and began hoping from rooftop to rooftop. In no time, she was at home, but she hadn't escaped those tears that were now steadily streaming down her face.
The medic-nin quickly unlocked her door and slammed it shut behind her flipping the latch. As soon as she had reached her sanctuary powerful sobs racked her body and she just began to cry. Not that soft sort of crying either. The kind of crying that hits you after years of pent up sorrow. She found herself curled up in a ball on her floor.
Tonton whined and nuzzled her, but Shizune was inconsolable. Soon the sorrow even infected the piggy who cried little piggy wails with her. And together they just cried.
The next morning Shizune didn't feel any better either. She found herself just lying in bed wishing she could be at work. Then she would have something to take her mind of her troubles. She laid there for what must have been hours, just too depressed to get up. Morning slowly melted into afternoon. If she wanted to, she guessed she could have laid there all day. Not like she had anything better to do.
A growling stomach announced its defiance to her plans. Letting out another deep sigh she finally dragged herself from her bed and showered, again. She felt like she couldn't wash the dirtiness away from how cheap she had been selling herself last night. She ignored her stomach as she attempted to wash the piss stain from the bottom hem of her kimono. Her cheeks colored at how horrible that night had turned out. Some from embarrassment and some from anger.
Completing her task, she opened her cupboards to dig out something to eat. It didn't surprise her that they were all empty. It wasn't that she didn't like to cook, or that she didn't know how. She just was never home so didn't bother. She did open a can of the piggy chow and set it on the floor for Tonton to eat on.
Shizune did a once over in the mirror by her door. Finding herself to look okay despite the blood shot eyes from crying and the heavy bags under her eyes she made her way out into the streets of Konoha. She walked for some time in a bit of a daze when she came across Ino who was arm in arm with Sai.
"Hey Shizune!" The blond called all but dragging Sai along with her. The man seemed content though, but he was a hard person to read. Still, just the presence of the two loving on each other made her a little sad at her own misfortune.
"Hello Ino, Sai," Shizune said offering her best smile. Sai seemed to pick up on her mood and gently tugged on Ino's arm, but no one could accuse Ino of being particularly empathetic.
"I heard you were at the club with Yuuto! How did it go?! Spill!" Ino demanded flipping her hair and offering a smile. Still, just the mention that the loudest mouth in Konoha knew of at least some of her deeds last night wiped the smile of her face. Shizune found herself unable to muster an answer so she just looked down at her feet and brushed past Ino.
"Fine," Shizune all but whispered, but it was loud enough for Ino to hear. The medic-nin could almost feel the blonde's frown piercing her back as she walked away.
"Sorry Shizune!" Ino called after her, genuinely feeling bad that she had struck a nerve. Shizune ignored it though turning a corner eager to get away from their presence. She found herself outside of Ichiraku's Ramen. The smell was sort of good. She considered eating there just in the hopes that she might run into Naruto. Her hopes were well founded as she could hear his loud boisterous voice coming from behind the curtain.
Shizune was about to sneak under when she heard Hinata's quieter voice making a remark to Naruto. The medic-nin froze from sadness and envy. It had been one of her deeper more buried secrets, that she had been attracted to Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja. She hadn't told anyone about it. Now, she would never get the chance. Naruto and Hinata had been happily married for just over a year now.
Opting for something else Shizune quickly departed the ramen stand. She walked for some time before the smell of barbeque slowly drew her in. She settled down quickly in the restaurant in one of the more secluded corners. She just didn't feel like she could meet the attention of anyone that day. She spent her lunch in silence, inwardly reflecting on her position.
Inevitably she did find her eyes wandering the restaurant. The medic-nin was none too surprised to see Temari and Shikamaru sitting across from one another giggling away. From the slight blush and the big smile Shizune guessed that Temari was enjoying herself quite a lot as Shikamaru entertained her with some story. The sand-nin seemed to feel the eyes on her and locked onto the source.
Upon seeing Shizune, the blonde kunoichi smiled at her offering a little wave. Shizune returned with her best smile and a wave of her own, and then the two went back to their meals. The medic-nin was glad she had cried so hard last night or she might've started crying again. It seemed no matter where she went life was slapping her in the face with the fact that she was alone and in her mid-thirties.