"What?" Mike said confused as the ambulance took off sirens wailing. But here he was with Tom, still holding hands.
"I didn't think we were at this stage in our relationship." Tom deadpanned as he too looked down at their entwined hands. Mike yanked his hand out Tom's and tried to find out where Christine was.
"She had to go," Tom said reading Mike's mind but then Mike reminded himself this had to be a dream or hallucination.
"So you are?" Mike stated as he was losing his mind.
"If I go off of Christine's theme then I'm the Ghost of your Present. Though why I'm wearing this, makes think you're more far gone that I thought." Tom said as he gestured to himself, he was short shorts, flip flops and an ugly Hawaiian button down shirt. He'd grown a beard and his hair was a little longer and curlier than the last time Mike had seen him.
"You're not dead." Mike stated.
"How do you know? When was the last time you called me?" Tom asked.
"The phone works both ways." Mike said as he wasn't going to comment on his friend's wardrobe choices. But Magnum P.I. reject came to mind.
"True." Tom conceded, in the blink of an eye; they were standing in a room that faced into a CT machine room. Mike peered through the glass and realised he was laying on the bed being scanned. He wasn't dead yet. He didn't know whether to be relieved or not.
"So I'm not dead." Mike stated as his heart monitor chirped a steady heart beat.
"The cemetery wasn't working for me. I also needed to make sure you were ok." Tom said, he leaned over the shoulders of the doctors looking at the scans of Mike's heart. T
"It's nice to see you got pants on now." Mike said as Tom was wearing pants but the rest of him remained the same.
"You picked my outfit." Tom told him.
"No, I didn't." Mike argued.
"Whatever you have to tell yourself. Come take a look, it's your CT Scan." Tom said pointing to the screen. "It's pretty interesting." He remarked.
"Looks like everything is in good shape." One the doctor's said looking at the screen.
"I concur." The other concurred. They were completely unaware to Mike and Tom's presence.
"See, your heart is healthy for an old guy." Tom said as he straightened up and looked to Mike with a smile. Mike tried to remember when he'd last seen Tom smile. It had to be a while.
"Like you can talk, old man. for the record, I'm not that much older than you. So why don't you just give me your stupid message so I get to dying or whatever I'm doing." Mike said as he didn't really understand. Tom just smiled at him, like he knew everything but was too much of an asshole to share it.
"Do you really want advice from me? I'm in the middle of my own emotional crises." Tom scoffed.
"Then why are you here?" Mike asked him.
"Your brain, your hallucination. I'm glad I'm wearing pants as short shorts are a little too chilly for St Louis this time of year." he told him.
"I'll keep that in mind next time I hallucinate you, though I'd prefer Christine over you. No offence." Mike told him.
"None taken. But she's right, you need to let go of the pain that you've been carrying." Tom told him.
"I don't know how to do that." Mike said growing morose, Tom shared his expression.
"It's hard, but really it's about letting go of what you'd expected for your family. You can't change what happened to your family, you can't blame yourself for their deaths. You had no control over their fate just as you had no control over me when I walked away." Tom said in a matter of fact tone.
"I could have told you to stay. I should've told you that we share the burden of the command. That it wasn't all on you. We could have worked through it together. " Mike said, saying what he wished he had that night on the bridge. Tom wore a kind smile as they both knew the truth of each other.
"But you know me well enough to know that if I had stayed, there was a good chance I'd have eaten my side arm within six months." Tom said plainly.
"That's not you." Mike told him, firmly. Tom gave a shrug.
"Maybe, maybe not. We all have our limits and when we're desperate enough to escape..." Tom paused, his own inner demons coming to light but he pushed on. "It's why we got to learn to let go, to let go because it's healthier than holding onto all the pain and grief. You're going to carry that with you for the rest of your life. But how you handle it is up to you, buddy this isn't healthy. You're drowning in it instead of asking for help, reaching out." Tom told him.
"Gee, thanks." Mike said.
"Truth hurts, you've spent the last three years not being ok, pretending you were fine after every loss we suffered. It's time to acknowledge that pain and not let it kill you." Tom told him.
"Easier said than done." Mike replied and they both shared a look. Again, they both knew the truth, they weren't good at letting go of things and they knew how to punish themselves when they felt they were at fault. That they somehow deserved this.
"I know, but maybe this is a wake up call. Time for you to take a break-"
"Go on some kind of 'Eat, Pray, Love' adventure?" Mike asked snidely. Tom grinned and gave another infuriating shrug.
"Whatever works for you. The point is that it's time for you to be happy, to not feel guilty when you do feel happy again. Also call me, we both know I'm an asshole who's got his head stuck up his ass. I'm going to take years to call you. But the reality is, I miss you too. I need a friend like you do in these hours." Tom told him.
Mike closed his eyes for just a moment, to let Tom's words sink in only to feel something thump his legs. When he woke up he was in a hospital bed. The 'thing' that had hit his legs was a little girl with red wavy hair pulled into two pigtails dressed in a purple fairy costume.
"Hi Daddy!" she said with a grin showing off two missing front teeth. She threw her hands up in to the air and the wand she'd been carrying fell the floor with a thud.