Chapter 10
I Can't Let It Bother Me

Kate

"Please don't tell me you two are skipping town," Rachel scolded, as she shut the door to my attic sanctuary behind her. Adrien and I had migrated here from the basement a half an hour ago and were now preparing for our departure.

"Yes. We are," Adrien said from his position on my bed, where he'd been talking to me as I went through the labors of putting on mascara and straightening my hair. (Adrien had not actually asked me what I was doing this for, but I'd felt the need to explain anyway and told him if I was going to leave the house I was going to look decent.)

"Well, I'm not sure I'm okay with that," Rachel said. Instead of crossing the room to Adrien, she positioned herself on a chair and continued. "First of all, I wasn't invited." She paused after the joke, as if to see if she would be invited now. But when neither Adrien nor I jumped at the opportunity, she gracefully moved on as if she hadn't been expecting it in the first place.

"More importantly, I can't believe you two are leaving me here to play deputy all by myself."

I ran the straightening iron over a section of my hair and watched Adrien through the mirror. He wasn't moved yet, but I could see him struggling with Rachel's accusations and it struck me that Rachel really knew how work him. He said, shrugging, "I wasn't expecting you to play anything. I thought you could use a little party."

Rachel leaned back in her chair and thought then, while Adrien watched her and I watched him. "Yes, I could," Rachel finally admitted, looking at Adrien and then looking at me. "But I do think somebody needs to keep Johnny and the other one—Don, right?—under control. If I'm the only one of us here…" she trailed off, then laughed at herself. "Yeah. I'll just be freaking out the whole time."

Adrien looked at me through the mirror and our vision connected. His eyes were beseeching and he mouthed, "I'm sorry," and I knew what he was going to do. But I also knew that what he was going to do wasn't what he wanted to do, and it was enough that he would have rather been with me. It was enough for now. I nodded to let him know it was okay.

"Oh my God," Rachel said after our silent interchange. "I am such a bitch. You guys should totally go. You're responsible all the time. It's only fair that it should be my turn. It will give me a chance to reform myself."

"Too late," Adrien told her. "You're stuck with us now."

"And by us he means me, him, and his conscience," I interjected, breaking from my usual position as silent observer. Like Johnny said, you've got to fight back.

"I guess you'll have to reform me then," Rachel said. She was not including me in that you. Adrien laughed. I checked my reflection and decided that that was enough fighting for now. I said I was going to go find Johnny and Yates.

"Wait, Katie! I want to talk to you," Rachel said as I was leaving the room. She followed me out, leaving Adrien on his own to consider his impending destiny.

We started down the stairs. Once we were safely out of hearing range, Rachel said, "I know Johnny talked to you. About talking to me."

Which implied that she didn't know I had, in fact, been listening. That meant Scott had kept things to himself—interesting, but not particularly relevant at the moment. I continued wordlessly down the stairs.

"Kate," she said. I was surprised by the level of gravity in her tone, and by the fact that she'd called me Kate and not Katie. I turned to face her and she continued, "I want us to understand each other."

"What do I need to understand?" I asked, because I didn't feel it particularly necessary that she understand me.

Rachel pulled her hair back with one hand and then let go and allowed it to fall back around her face again. She was stalling, deciding how to start. Finally she said, "I know that Adrien is your sort of big brother. And I know you're protective. And I know that you have every right to doubt my motives. But I do like him. I want him to be just as happy as everyone else wants him to be." Her eyes were boring holes into mine. She believed everything that she was saying, and she was looking for a sign that I believed it too.

She began again, more quietly—almost apologetically this time, "I think that it's going to happen—Adrien and me, I mean. And I would like for you and I to be friends. I know that's not going to happen now, probably not any time soon. But eventually at least. I do like you, Kate."

When I think about Rachel I think about this conversation we had and then I almost feel sorry for her. She really did want to win me over, and she really didn't think what she was doing was all that bad. I don't know. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe things could have been different if Adrien had been just my sort-of-big-brother.

"Okay," I said. I needed time to process all that she's said, so I added, "I really do need to go find Johnny." Rachel nodded and headed back to Adrien. I went downstairs.

Johnny and Don had taken over the basement. Manda was with them too, and though her presence made me a little self-conscious, I wasn't self-conscious enough not to talk to Johnny while I still had the chance.

"Rachel wants to be my friend," I said, when I entered the room.

"Did you tell her to piss off?" Don asked, with his adorable Ewan McGreggor accent. You couldn't ever quite get over that accent. At least, Manda couldn't seem to get over it. She was swooning as soon as Don said "did."

"Come on, Yates. Would Kate ever tell anyone to piss off?" Johnny asked.

"She might tell us to piss off," Don observed.

"Hi Don," I said. I'd always liked Don, mostly just because he was the other member of Johnny's replacement family. I looked at the two off them. "So when does the party start?"

"Soon," Johnny said, with his mischievous grin. "I thought you and Saint Adrien were leaving the premises. What happened there?"

I walked over and slumped down on the couch beside him. "Rachel happened." I didn't even care that I was saying things like this in front of Manda. She was talking to Yates now anyway, and probably wasn't listening. "So I'm here for your party," I added listlessly.

And I was there. And three hours later, the party started.

- - - - - - - - - -

Scott

By 10:30, the house was so packed it was impossible to find anyone. I'd seen Rachel— exasperatedly looking for the man she'd guilt tripped into attending. I'd seen the new guy, Yates, with the younger sister hanging on him. But I hadn't seen who I wanted to see.

When I moved into the next room, I finally spotted Jess—standing on her own, arms folded protectively over her chest and staring at nothing. I came up behind her and leaned in close. "You look very sexy," I said, low and guttural.

Jess jumped when I spoke and quickly stepped away from me. "Don't address me in public," she snapped, her eyes darting wildly around the room. I look around myself. There didn't seem to be here who would particularly care that she was talking to me. And even if someone would normally care, under the circumstances—blaring music, packed room, lots, yes, lots of drinking—they wouldn't notice. Jess seemed to be the only one who cared then, and I cared a little that she cared but not enough. Instead of leaving her to herself, I offered her my drink.

Jess's arms tightened around her body and she looked at me almost pleadingly. I shouldn't have pushed her. But I was starting to understand something about her that maybe no one else ever had. Underneath the layer of apathy, Jessica Mansfield was the most desperate person I'd ever met. There was something she wanted very badly, but she couldn't figure out what it was. Before I'd showed up, she'd thought the rich husband was the thing. But in the wake of our powerful chemistry, she was realizing that Matthew Wright wasn't her answer after all. He wasn't what she was looking for. And she wasn't sure what to do.

The knowledge was power, and I exercised that power on her now. "What?" I smirked, closing the gap between us again. "Germ freak? Because we've shared saliva before… among other things."

Jess's face tightened and she shook her head. "I'm not drinking," she said. "I do stupid things when I drink." She wouldn't look at me. Jess unquestionably felt the control I had over her, and it made her a little afraid of me. But I was feeling generous, and I decided to leave her on her own. Give her some time to cool off, settle down. The loud room was obviously making her situation seem more threatening than usual.

But before I left her, I leaned in one more time for good measure and said, "Find me later."

"Give me that," Jess demanded, as I began walking away. She grabbed the drink from my hand and headed resolutely in the direction of her fiancé. I stopped to watch her disappear into the crowd, gulping down that drink. I smirked. But whatever smug expression I was wearing quickly dissolved when I turned around.

And locked eyes with Adrien.

The world will never know how Adrien Mansfield figured out what Jess and I were doing. It's not that we hadn't offered him plenty of clues. Blatant, glaring clues. But he hadn't done anything about putting them together for the weeks Jess and I had been going on. Why did he suddenly figure it out now? I always figured that merely Johnny's presence moved Adrien out of his oblivion and into the light. I could be wrong, but that's the best I can come up with anyway.

At any rate, when I looked at Adrien I knew he knew. And—I'll own it—for a second I was scared shitless. Adrien definitely seemed like the defending-his-sisters-flimsy-honor type. I also realized, with him glaring at me, that I actually felt a little ashamed at myself. And I thought that he was probably the only person in the world who could make me feel that.

This was, of course, before I'd had any real experience with Kate.

Anyway, Adrien was coming towards me now and I knew that I had approximately ten seconds to prepare myself for battle. Though I wasn't sure I cared which one of us came out on top. There didn't seem to be much in it for me either way.

"Adrien," I acknowledge him civilly with a curt nod when he made it over to my side of the room.

But Adrien wouldn't play that game. It wasn't, after all, as if Adrien and I had ever been best friends, or really friends at all. And we both knew there was something very particular that needed to be addressed. He said, "It has to stop, Harrington."

I pretended not to know what he meant.

- - - - - - - -

Adrien

"What has to stop?" Scott asked precociously, as if one or both of us was stupid. I didn't think that that was very funny.

"Look," I said, frowning with my aggravation. My head was buzzing a little and I could feel my blood pumping, but I was determined. "I'm not going to pin it all on you, and I'm not going pin it all on her, because I don't really care who started what. But it has to stop, and you're going to end it."

Scott nodded mutely, apparently done with asking stupid questioned. He actually seemed impressed by my backbone. Impressed and a bit baffled. I was feeling about the same way myself.

"Okay," I said, since he had no further arguments, and turned abruptly on my heels.

I stumbled away from the fray—full of nervous energy, adrenaline still pumping through my system. I covered my mouth with my hand, a gesture that meant nothing beyond that I was significantly rattled.

"Hey Orlando Bloom!" some drunk girl slurred. It took until she was attaching herself to my arm for me to realize that she was talking to me. "Are you a Mansfield?" she panted, cutting off my circulation with her death grip. Her shirt strapped slipped from her shoulder and she almost lost the top completely. I winced, and tried to fend her off.

"No," I lied, as I scanned the crowd. The girl looked disappointed, but didn't loosen her hold on my arm just yet. I spotted Yates, across the room with Manda, and pointed him out to her. "He is," I told the girl. She released me and happily followed the direction of my finger.

Relieved—and guilty, but mostly just relieved—I started off to find Rachel, who was probably looking for me. But I didn't get very far before someone else caught my arm. I turned to find that it was Johnny. But I was just so beyond being surprised.

"You okay, Champ?" he asked, and it wasn't offered with his usual dose of derision. Confused by his concern, I assumed that he must have been referring to the drunk girl. With a shrug, I admitted that I'd sent her to Yates.

Johnny's eyes began to laugh and his mouth curved upwards. "No," he said, the regular hint of irony back in his tone. "I was talking about you and Harrington brandishing your respective testosterones back there." He pointed in the general direction where my confrontation with Scott had taken place, then pocketed his hands and waited for a reply.

Even with the sarcasm, the concern still seemed to be genuine and I wasn't sure what to do with it. So I stared at him, stupidly, for a full minute while Jimmy Eat World blasted in the background. I'm sure I would've come up with something to say eventually. Looking back, this was probably the first moment of goodwill Johnny and I had shared since high school. And I think we could've made some excellent progress had it not been cut short.

But Kate was suddenly upon us, breathless and a little frantic.

"Kate," I said, as my attention shifted from my brother to her. Johnny moved his hand to Kate's back, to claim her, and our moment was lost.

Kate barely took note of our subtle warfare, because there were more important things at hand. "We are all so dead," she said. She looked from me to Johnny and then back to me as she explained. "Your father is back."

- - - - - - - - -

A/N: If the chapter title seems random, that's because I titled in honor of Jimmy Eat World's song "Pain." My theory is that if you listen to the aforementioned song while reading (especially Scott's & Adrien's sections) it will enhance both the chapter and the song. Although, having not actually tried this myself, I can't guarantee anything.

Ewan McGreggor has a Welsh accent, in case someone didn't know that.

Things To Note (though I'm sure you've already noted them, but it amuses me to make the list so please indulge me :o) ) : Rachel's sincerity, Jess's desperation, Scott's deliberate cruelty, Manda & Yates's proximity, Adrien's bravado, Johnny's concern.

slam a revolving door: Sorry if it was confusing :o( It's generally safe to assume that some time has elapsed between the end of one chapter and the beginning of another, but I'll try to be less abrupt about it from here on out.

BreezyGirl: …Well I'm not saying Johnny, Adrien and Kate can't ever be friends…. Sigh. I dunno why Rachel is so hard for me. How's she striking you now?

Huntress of the Stars: Thanks for the tip ;o) Oops. Yes, happily for some. And I think I'm making it even sadder by developing Scott/Henry more. Grins sheepishly.

Lady Susan: Oh no! Another Johnny/Kate shipper! Just kidding. Glad you like the story though. Hopefully Adrien will grow on you. He's growing on me.

fyre-anjel: Party for Kate first, then she leaves. I love the Johnny/Kate friendship too and I'm hoping to pull that through the whole thing, although Johnny will unfortunately have to leave us soon.

BeyondtheSea: Par-tay! Well… sort of. I don't know that anybody had much fun :o) Ha ha ha. I added the Orlando Bloom thing in just for you.

schokolade: Hurray! Adrien sympathy! Lol. I actually have no idea where I got the title from, but when I saw the opportunity to pop it in there I just did. I'm glad you liked the "I don't know who failed who" line. It was one of my favorites, but that's just because the Johnny-Adrien dynamics is really one of my favorite dynamics right now. Don't you just want them to kiss and make up? Lol. I'm glad you like the foreshadowing and stuff. I actually decided to write this fic in past tense so that I could add all that in there.

Elwen: Yay! New reviewer! Glad you like the fic. Mansfield Park is good stuff. It deserves more fanfics then are out there.

Radiant: Congratulations! You're officially the 100th reviewer of this story. Hands cookies. No worries. I don't expect everyone to be as committed to this fic as I am, lol. Besides, I love you for loving Adrien better than Johnny. :o)

Rhapsody's Song: Alas, no Kate time for now. Evil Rachel.

Jill: Note the adverbs. I didn't count but I think there are many. I decided, oh screw it Stephen King! I like my adverbs! So what about my OTI review? Huh? Shannon is dying to know what you thought. Also she wants to apologize for everyone else's intrusion, who she's sure royally screwed up what was SUPPOSED to be her crowning review. But on to reviewing your review: Aw, awards ceremonies. I miss them. But they just aren't the same without Christian and Jeremy, are they? First of all, I fear I must admit that I lifted the idea for the Hindsighted Mental Monologue-ing from my personal idol Nick Hornby, who uses the technique in "A Long Way Down" (not the extent that I use it, but every 50 pages or so). But since there's that quote about how great artists steal or something like that, I have no guilt. Unfortunately, as Scott pointed out, the world will never know how Adrien caught on to Scott and Rachel, primarily because I just wasn't creative enough to come up with that reason. So I supposed you're welcome to imagine whatever you like. I mean, perhaps Scott was just too involved in his.. ahem.. activities to notice Adrien opening, and quickly shutting, the door. Also, I would like to present Exhibit A: Johnny-Not-Evil-Ledger's VERY GENUINE concern over Adrien's presence of mind as proof that he is NOT EVIL! Heh! Take that! So I decided to do the Scott-Adrien show down through both perspectives, mostly because Adrien doesn't think he's very heroic himself, so I figured he'd seem more valiant if Scott got to write half the confrontation. And finally, so how about those Things To Note? Gaah! What am I going to do now? I can't tell you to go write On Thin Ice. I'm so sad!