Chapter 12
More Aftermath

Adrien

I wasn't exactly avoiding Rachel, not in the strictest sense of the word. Avoiding implied much more drastic measures than I'd been implementing—for instance, that I'd pulled a Johnny and simply driven off into oblivion. Of course I hadn't done that. I was still here. I was still conversing with her, congenially if not intimately, on a regular basis. So I wasn't avoiding. I was being slightly evasive, perhaps even a little passive aggressive. But avoiding was an overstatement.

And yet avoiding is what I expected to get accused of when Rachel finally cornered me in the library.

She walked in silently and sat down on the chair across from me, pulling her legs up and sitting on them. I looked up from the book I wasn't reading, and she looked at me, and I looked at her. I waited for the inevitable, "You've been avoiding me," and I intended to be annoyed by it.

But when Rachel finally spoke, she only said, "You aren't sure anymore. I get it."

I knew exactly what she meant and she was exactly right. I wasn't sure anymore about Rachel Harrington, although I couldn't say precisely why not.

It had partly to do with the party. Her eager involvement, masked as it was by a possibly fabricated desire to keep Johnny under control, had offended me a little even before Dad had showed up, and even more afterwards.

And it had partly to do with Johnny. His comments—most notably, "I let you keep your girlfriend"—had stuck, and I was still trying to sort through which ones I would hold as truths, and which ones I would write off as simply Johnny being Johnny. It was naïve to assume that all of my brother's comments were prompted by a pure heart and motives. And yet, there was a part of me that trusted him more than it trusted Rachel.

And it had partly to do with Kate, but I was very far from realizing that at the time.

Right then, I was struck by Rachel's directness and by her perception, and I could feel myself being pulled back towards her. My relationship with Rachel that summer was not as entirely ridiculous and grossly superficial as I sometimes remember it. Looking back, I tend to trivialize Rachel and why I was attracted to her. Ultimately, it was because of moments like this. She was so often utterly surprising, and it fascinated me and it drew me in.

"I'm sorry," I told her, reluctant to give back in to her magnetism completely just yet, "but I'm not."

Rachel laughed. "Adrien," she said. "You're always apologizing. It's not you're fault if you aren't sure anymore. It's probably mine if it's anyone's, but it's certainly not yours, so there's no use in you being sorry about it."

"Maybe," I said, leaning back in my chair.

"Besides, she said, her eyes sparkling and her lips curving upwards slightly. "Who says I'm sure about you?"

She was good, Rachel was good. The fact that Rachel could be similarly unsure bout me was one that had never yet occurred to me. And despite the fact that I was vacillating myself, it was a bit of a blow. Beyond that, the statement had two important effects on. First, I immediately stopped concentrating on all the things that made me doubt Rachel and instead left me wonder what was making her doubt me. And second, it was already making me doubt her less. Her uncertainty made her genuine.

While I was still processing, Rachel continued cheerfully, "We're still friends anyway. And besides that, the only way either of us is going to get sure, either way, is by spending time with each other. So you can't stop talking to me."

"I haven't stopped talking to you," I said. It seemed like such a legitimate point, such an honest appeal. I only realized much latter that Rachel was merely confident in herself, in her ability to win me back over given the chance.

Rachel laughed. "You know what I mean," she said, rolling her eyes.

I smiled, and we were finally comrades again. But just as we regained our mutual attraction, Jess interrupted us.

My sister looked at Rachel, and then at me, and then she said to Rachel, "I need my brother." It was almost a nice way for Jess to tell Rachel to leave. Almost. But when she called me her brother she sounded so possessive and protective—as if she was saying whatever claim Rachel thought she had on me was illegitimate, and Jess had no intention of respecting it.

But Rachel graciously yielded the floor, throwing one last, "I will see you around then," over her shoulder at me as she left.

"You don't like her? I asked Jess, once Rachel was gone. I didn't know why I was asking. It wasn't exactly that I didn't respect her opinion. We'd just long since realized that we clearly did not value the same things, and so it was best just to keep our opinions of each other's lives to ourselves. But I was I was so short on conviction when it came to Rachel right now, I suddenly found myself eager to hear what Jess thought of her.

"Rachel?" Jess asked, and shrugged. "Whatever, she's fine." She traveled to the seat Rachel and vacated and sat down properly across from me. She averted her eyes. I kept quiet—I felt she was thinking something else about the subject and I wanted to see if she'd say it. Finally she returned to me and asked, "If you married her, what exactly would that make me and Scott?" After she said that, she looked at me directly again and pressed her lips together in a hard line. In that moment, many things passed between us—that she knew I knew, that it was over between them, and strangest of all, that she wasn't sorry anyway.

I was beginning to wonder whether I shouldn't have just left things alone. Not knowing what to say, I answered her spoken question. "You would be obscurely related," I told her.

Jess nodded, hardening again, and started on a slightly different subject. "I know what you think of Matthew," she said matter-of-factly.

The truth was, I hadn't thought anything about Jess's fiancé in a long time, and that's what I told her. "I don't actually really think about him."

"Exactly," jess said. She crossed her legs and leaned forward a little. Her manner was so composed. I suddenly thought that I understood her.

"You don't want to marry him," I said, not as a question.

She smiled, but the look was enigmatic and didn't confirm my theory. She swung back to our other topic of conversation and said, "I was only engaged, Adrien, and barely even that. If I had been married, I wouldn't have started it." It didn't seem like the time to argue with the phrase "only engaged," so I let her continue. "You think it's just sex, and then suddenly it isn't just sex anymore. Suddenly you, like, care. How does that even happen?" Jess narrowed her eyes, looking at me like I was actually supposed to answer that.

"I wouldn't know," I said, then winced, realizing how judgmental that sounded. I hadn't meant it like that. I'd simply meant that I wouldn't know.

Jess laughed a little ironically, but she was still serious. "No, not yet," she said. "It'll be different for you, but you'll be asking the same question someday. You'll know what I mean."

I didn't know what she was talking about, and I didn't ask either. It didn't seem to matter. But I was wrong, and it did matter. I had no way of knowing it then, but this conversation with Jess would come back to haunt us both. The exchange stuck with me for a very long time. Forever, really. I'm still not really sure why.

"Anyway," Jess said, regaining her usual unconcerned demeanor. "I do want to get married, in fact—"

"Wait," I interrupted. I was furiously backpedaling. I had we gotten here? "You what? You do want to get married?"

"Oh yes," she said, nodding wryly. "As quickly as possible. Matthew and I have been coordinating our calendars. June 28 looks like a good date."

"But that's only two weeks away," I said. I was still having difficulty grasping why she'd decided to stick with the engagement in the first place—she despised her fiancé. She loved someone else. It didn't make sense to me. And the immediacy she was demanding further baffled me. "You need to think about this. I don't understand the sudden rush."

Jess was seemed suddenly tired. "I have thought about it. And I don't understand the delay."

"You don't have to marry him at all," I said.

She smiled. "Oh what else am I going to do?" she breezed.

The question was rhetorical, and I didn't know the answer anyway. I only knew that I didn't agree with her decision. And suddenly I wanted her to understand my involvement in everything, though I doubted it would change her mind.

"Jess," I said quietly. "I told him to end it."

"Oh, I know," she said indifferently. She saw that I was teetering on the edge of distress over the part I'd played, and she said with a little annoyance in her voice, "And for God's sake, don't agonize over it, Adrien. It's hardly matters. It would've ended either way now that Dad's home. Besides it's not the point. The point is you don't think I should marry Matthew." She raised her eyebrows and I nodded, admitting she was right.

Jess continued. "And that's fine. I'm not going to pretend that I'm passionately in love with him, or that I even like him all that much. But there's nothing terribly wrong with him either. He's healthy and he's affluent—let's just face it, Adrien, I'm just not cut out for poverty. As for the rest, well, there's always a chance he'll improve with age."

She'd thought it all out, and there was clearly no changing there mind. And frankly, I didn't care to try anymore. "But why are you telling all of this to me?" I asked, the questioning coming out of me like a sigh.

Jess looked a bit miffed. "Who else would I tell?" she asked.

"Your father," I said, because she seemed to have forgotten him.

Jess relaxed back into her chair. "Oh," she shrugged. "Well, I wanted you to understand. We can tell him now, I suppose."

And so I was dragged into her drama. But to be honest, I didn't mind. I was glad that she wanted me to help her along. It was the last thing I really did for Jess, and it comforts me to remember that I did it cheerfully, without any resentment at all.

We found Dad in his study, where he barely looked up to see his children enter. Jess, always annoyed by a lack of acknowledgement, folded her arms and began tapping a foot against the floor. I scowled at her, and she stopped the tapping at least. Dad was busy looking over some papers, but I just started in anyway.

"Jess wants to get married," I said.

"Well," Dad said, not looking up yet. "I was assuming that was why she got engaged."

"In two weeks," I added.

Dad looked up. "Two weeks?" he asked, without curiosity. The rapidness must have seemed strange to him, but not strange enough to really strike his interest.

"And I want Manda to come with me on the honey moon," Jess blurted.

Stranger still. Dad and I both fixed our questioning gazes on Jess, who looked from one to another and then shrugged and said by way of explanation, "She's never been to Europe."

It was, of course, not the real reason she wanted Manda to come. But I didn't feel like guessing at the real reason, and I didn't feel like asking in front of Dad, and so I let it slide. After a short interview everything was decided, all of it in Jess's favor. In two weeks she would be Mrs. Matthew Wright.

A/N: Sorry for the lack of Kate, guys, but this part of the story was really about Jess. Next chapter will be Kate's perspective and I promise lots of Kate/Adrien moments, and I'll try to be quick(er) about getting it up. Please review! Love you all.

Rapsody's Song: I don't even know how closely I'm sticking to the book anymore, lol. I'm trying to get the very basic plot line and characters down, but I know that this story varies a lot from the book in places (like Johnny, for instance, who is really nothing like Tom in the book, except that he's sort of the black sheep, and basically a fabrication in my mind). But hey, I figure, what's the point of fanfiction if you can't have a little fun with it? ;o) Glad you like the story.

Huntress of the Stars: They… might… make a decent pair (there, I admitted it!). As far as I see it, Johnny is Kate's best Plan B. But Adrien is still her Plan A. :o)

ClapToSaveTheFairies: Glad you like the story! I love the movie too: my favorite part is where Fanny and Edmund almost kiss after they run in on Henry and Maria. Aw…

a: New reader! Yaya! Lol. Yeah, Johnny and Yates aren't necessarily bad guys in the book, but they aren't good guys either. I sort of made them my own grinning sheepishly.

Radiant: Yay! Everybody love Adrien! I was getting really worried there for a while when everyone was all: but can't Kate just get with Johnny! Johnny needs to learn to be dependable, which he hopefully will… eventually. Glad you like the part about self-preservation, cuz that was personally my favorite moment.

NotreDameGirlie: Well, there's another attempt at developing Rachel… sigh… I don't know why she's so hard for me to nail down. Anyways, with any luck there will be further insight into Kate's feelings for Adrien in the next chapter.

kristie: Oh don't worry. Kate definitely does end up with someone. I'm a sucker for happy endings, so I would probably never write anything quite that depressing. :o)

cheekymonkey92: Glad you like the story! I really don't have any idea when I'll finish it. I am trying to update every other week, though, or something like that.

BeyondtheSea: Yay! Self-preservation! That was my favorite part, so I'm oh-so-happy that you liked it. I love writing the Scott parts, I just actually find it really fun to get into the persona of the "bad guy" for once, lol.

shokolade: Ah, exams. Hate those things, don't you? Anyways, I eventually want Adrien and Scott to embrace the brotherly love thing. Not quite yet, but I thought I'd start them down their pathway towards reconciliation. Yes, yes, Scott is a jerk. We'll just all have to see how much Kate can reform him… Lol. Aw, poor Yates. He's not smart but he's kind of cute :o)

wild-honey-pie: Another new reader! I'm so happy! Lol, I know exactly what you mean. Don't you just want smack Adrien/Edmund on the head and be like: "Get a clue, moron!" But at the same time, he doesn't mean to be so dense, so you just kind have to love him anyway.

Jill: I caved and did some minor Rachel developing in the chapter. I mean, Adrien even Metal Monolouged about her. Damn it. Peer pressure was too great. Still, it probably wasn't as much development as everyone is hoping for. Don't worry, I really actually DON'T care if people don't care about Rachel. I want them to care about everyone else, but if Rachel falls off the caring radar, so be it! There's already too many characters to keep track of if you ask me! Shannon: "I don't believe anyone was asking you." Kate: "Hey! What she doing here? I thought she got shot." Sawyer: "And we thought we'd offered you as a ritual sacrifice to the Polar Bears Lying in wait, but apparently dreams don't come true." Charlie: "We'll they do with a little bit of this stuff…." Hmm. Well it's good to know that Scott and Rachel coincide with sparknotes. As for the ability to change… that's interesting. So then I guess the conclusion is that people can't change, because Scott will only almost change. But Johnny will change! Aha! Johnny can be my foil for Scott! Or maybe not. That sounds too ambitious. Dude, I miss Captain Oats too! In fact, I even miss Moron Luke and his gay dad! To be honest, I don't even keep up with the OC that faithfully anymore. Bad, bad fan. Don't give up on ShitheadScott yet (it's already too late, isn't it?) I still have faith that he might have a sincere bone left in his body. Maybe. Besides, Kate will better him and then you will be sad when he gets his sad ending (okay, this may not happen, but I can hope right?) And hey, I didn't really make the Kadrien hug thing very explicit. I thought about adding some kind of Mental Monologue about how he was reassuring Kate to reassure himself, but then I just decided not to. I'm sure no one got it. It was way too subtle. Oh well. Well, you know what to do: On Thin Ice! We haven't even gotten to the plastic frog yet! Shannon: "DAMN THE PLASTIC FROG!" Kate: "Oh, she's losing it." Sawyer: "Hey, I'd be losing it too if some trigger happy bitch shot me just MOMENTS after the incomparable Sayid had confessed his undying love!" Charlie: "Hey, speaking of gunshots, shouldn't you be passed out from your shoulder wound?" Kate: "I'm sorry, did Sawyer just call Sayid incomparable?" Yeah, I'm still a little bitter. Damn ABC. Killed off my Shannon.