Chapter 17
Afterwards

Kate

"You know what? Fuck him," Johnny said. I heard the door close behind me with a click, and glanced back at it. I thought of Adrien at the kitchen table. He'd probably heard that. Half of me wanted to go back to him, but I wanted to hear the whole story and Johnny seemed, at the moment, like the likeliest candidate for that. So I trailed him to the front door and then outside. Johnny was irate.

"Screw this whole family! I'm done with it!" he bellowed. I'd never seen Johnny like this before. He was madder than he ever got about his dad, ten times madder, and it actually scared me. He wasn't being nice.

We'd reached the car now, and I asked him, "Johnny, what happened?" But he wasn't ready to talk yet.

"Get in the car," he demanded. But I hesitated. I'd always been afraid that this would happen someday. The blow out. The big break up between the brothers. And I'd always sworn that if it did happen, I wouldn't take sides. And taking off with Johnny five minutes after the earth-shattering argument with Adrien had happened definitely seemed like a taking-sides thing.

But Johnny wasn't in the mood for negotiations. "Dammit Kate, get in the freaking car," he said.

I frowned and bit my lower lip. It wasn't fair of him to be displacing his aggression on me, but I did what he told me to. There was no way I could leave him alone like he was.

Johnny climbed in behind the wheel and slammed the door shut. We drove for a while in dead silence—without even the radio to soften the harshness of the quiet car—both of us thinking our separate thoughts. Both of our lives had changed that night, and I think we both knew, they had changed for the worse.

I didn't know where Johnny was going, and as we drove I began to worry that he was just leaving and taking me with him to add to Adrien's injury. But I was also afraid to ask where we were going. Johnny was treating me with such stony silence, and I thought he would probably flip out on me if I broke it. So I just sat there, uncomfortably, and began to involuntarily chew on my thumbnail.

Finally Johnny pulled into a Waffle House parking lot. He got out and didn't order me to get out too this time. I sat in the car by myself for a minute, head in my hands, thinking that maybe it had been a bad idea to come with him if he wasn't going to talk to me anyway. But then I climbed out and slowly trudged after him into the Waffle House.

Johnny was sitting at the counter and I took the seat beside him. We stared at the tile walls for a while until he shook his head and finally began to tell me how things had gone down.

- - - - - - -

Adrien

I don't remember how long it was until Rachel came down, but it must not have been too long—maybe five minutes or so. She came into the kitchen and sat down across from at the table. I didn't say anything. Just glanced up at her.

"So…" Rachel said, and that was it. It is the only time I can remember her being at a loss for words.

I was vaguely annoyed. I didn't really want her to talk to me, to try to comfort me. I would have rather she leave me alone. But recognizing that what had just happened was in no way her fault, and that she certainly only meant to make me feel better, I made a conscious effort to treat her fairly.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead with one hand. "I take it you heard that."

"Well," she hesitated. "Not what you said, but the generally yelling, yes. It kind of sounded like World War III down here. I think the entire state heard, at least the county."

I didn't even bother to acknowledge her attempt at a joke. "I'm sorry," I said, because I had to apologize to somebody.

"I know. You always are," she answered. Well fell silent again and I could hear the clock on the wall ticking, ticking. Rachel breathed in and began to speak. We weren't looking at each other. "Kate," she said awkwardly.

"Went with Johnny," I finished. I knew it was true, because she hadn't come back. It hurt, Kate going with Johnny, but it was the least of my hurts right now. I moved on to a bigger one. "I told him not to come back," I admitted. "I don't think he will."

I looked at Rachel after I said that. I think I wanted her to tell me what a horrible thing I'd done—not that I didn't already feel the full impact of its horribleness, I just wanted to hear someone say it—and she looked shocked enough. But when she spoke she only said, "And Kate went with him?"

Rachel thought I meant that Kate wasn't coming back. It was funny, in a sad way, that that was she was more surprised by. I almost smiled a little as I said. "Oh, no. He'll bring Kate back. But he won't be back after that. At least not—he won't—I mean…" I trailed off, unable to put into words exactly what I meant. I meant that he wouldn't forgive me. Probably never.

Rachel was quiet for a while, as if she knew there was nothing really to say. Abruptly I asked, "Did you tell Scott to go after Kate?"

If Rachel was surprised by so direct a question she hid it well. "No," she said. "I told him to leave her alone."

I nodded, believing her. The problem was that, back then, I trusted Rachel and I didn't trust Johnny. Neither one of that had done anything to really earn my trust, and both probably deserved a healthy dose of suspicion. But I was too easy on Rachel and too hard on my brother. It created all sorts of misunderstandings.

Rachel asked, "Do you want to tell me what happened or would you rather I left you alone?"

I was grateful for the question. "For now, I think just need to think…" I trailed off.

"Okay," Rachel said quietly. She stood up and moved towards the door.

"Rachel," I said, stopping her just before she was out of the room. She turned around and looked at me. "Thank you," I said.

She smiled and nodded and left me alone.

Can you blame me for thinking the best of her?

- - - - - - - -

Kate

"And then I said I was out. And believe me, I am." Johnny finished his version of what had happened with Adrien and leaned back in his chair, looking at me expectantly. He had cooled down a bit and was being nicer to me now. Still I didn't know exactly what to say. It almost seemed like it was my fault—that I had been the cause of the end of their relationship. It had all gone down, after all, because of a conversation about me. Me and Scott.

"I don't think he meant what he said, about you never coming back," I finally answered, pushing the scrambled eggs around on the plate in front of me.

"He said it," Johnny replied. He was very unwilling, at the moment, to cut Adrien any slack. It was making this conversation harder on me.

"Yeah, but," I paused and then continued. "He was mad. I mean I know he's, like, Adrien. But he's allowed to get mad too sometimes and say stupid things."

Johnny grunted and took a bite of his pancakes. I watched him. He wouldn't look at me. "You can't do this," I said quietly.

"What?" he asked.

"You can't never talk to him again."

Johnny shrugged. It was obviously exactly what he planned to do. "Yes I can," he said.

"Johnny," I sighed. I closed my eyes real tight for a second in frustration. Then I opened them again and looked at him. "It'll kill him," I said seriously.

Johnny looked a little uncomfortable with that, But not uncomfortable enough. "What do you want me to do?" he asked irritatedly.

"I don't know. Maybe you could try being the bigger person."

"Not my job," he answered. I thought that he was impossible, but I didn't say it out loud. After a moment he continued. "He said I only come around to screw up his life. How can he even think that?"

To be honest, I could see exactly how Adrien could see that, even though I knew it wasn't true. Johnny worked hard to preserve a spirit of general misunderstanding between himself and his brother, and it looked like it had finally come back around to bite him.

At the same time, I understood that Johnny was genuinely hurt by Adrien thinking so ill of him. Again, I didn't know what to say. And so I asked, "Did Rachel really tell Scott to like me?"

Johnny looked at me like he couldn't believe I was worried about that at a moment like this. "I don't know," he sighed. "I mean, she did tell him to in the first place. But she says he genuinely likes you now, and he probably does."

I nodded. Johnny added, "But I'm still not giving you my approval."

"Well I'm not giving my approval to you cutting Adrien out of your life," I said.

"Touché," Johnny said, and then he stared at his food for a while. "I don't really want to," he admitted quietly.

I wanted to scream, "Then don't!" But I knew he wouldn't listen. Johnny was stubborn like that. Maybe in a month or two I would be able to convince him to communication with Adrien, but it wasn't going to happen just now.

Johnny looked at me. "You'd better call him, though," he said, and then wasn't any malice in his tone. "He's probably worried about you."

I looked at him, trying to decide if he really wanted to me to call Adrien or not.

"Seriously, Kate," he said.

"Okay," I answered. I got up and headed to the payphones. I put in a quarter and dialed the home number. I was slightly surprised when it was Scott who answered. Surprised and then glad.

"Hey," I said. "How is he?"

"I don't know," Scott said. "Rachel did her best to console him but I guess he's pretty inconsolable. He'll be happy to hear from you."

I hesitated. I could barely handle Johnny right now, and I wasn't sure I could I was ready for Adrien too. "Just tell him I'm alright and I'll be back soon," I told Scott.

There was silence on the other end on the phone for a moment, and then Scott said, "Kate, I think you should talk to him."

This was the problem with Scott. How could he be as bad as everyone told me he was and then care about whether or not I talked to Adrien? Everything I knew about him didn't all fit together. I couldn't make out his character at all.

"Scott," I sighed into the phone. "What am I supposed to think about you?"

After a pause, he answered, "The worst. It's safest for you if you just think the worst. I'm not a good person."

But with an answer as disarmingly honest as that, I couldn't think the worst about him. And when he said he wasn't a good person, I didn't entirely believe him.

"I'm giving you to Adrien," Scott said then, while I was still thinking about what he had just told me. Before I could protest again, Adrien was on the line.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm at a Waffle House," I answered. "Are you okay?"

"Well. Given the circumstances." He pause, then asked, "Is Johnny okay?"

"Given the circumstances," I said.

Adrien asked, "Will he talk to me?"

"Not right now," I said. "But you've both got long lives ahead of you."

"That's funny," Adrien said, even though it really wasn't. I could hear the devastation in his tone. "Well. Tell him I'm sorry."

"I will," I said. "And I'll be back soon."

"Good," he said and we both hung up.

I returned to Johnny at the counter. "Adrien says he sorry," I told him, wondering if I could guilt him into accepting the apology. Forgiving and forgetting.

Johnny just shrugged. "You ready to go back?" he asked.

"I guess," I said. Then I added, "I wish you weren't going."

He shrugged again. "Nothing else to do now. Come on. Let's go."

We went. The ride back was just as quiet but a lot less uncomfortable than the ride there. I was depressed and Johnny could sense it. When he dropped me off, he said, "Hey, it won't be like this forever, Kate."

I looked at him doubtfully. "It won't?"

"You'll be able to talk me into reconciling after a couple months. We both know that. I just have to make my statement first," he said.

I smiled sadly and shook my head. That was some comfort.

"In the mean time, keep an eye on him for me," Johnny smiled.

I told him that I would.

- - - - - - - -

A/N: Sorry, that chapter was a bit bleak (and a long time coming, too). But don't worry, guys! Things can only get better! And PLEASE review!

embracing: Stupid boys indeed. Arg. This update was really slow, I know, but I hope you forgive me. Hopefully I will be able to get the next one up faster. :o) Virtual chocolate always helps.

Kate: Lol. I feel exactly the same way about the angst. You've got to love it in a sort of masochistic way.

Cookie: Aw, thank you! Just a little Scott-Kate conversation in here. There will be much more in the next chapter.

jayley: Glad you liked the drama. There always is drama, isn't there? ;o)

NNichollaa: I'm sorry! That was, like, the slowest update yet. I promise to do better next time! Really, I swear!

ebangin: Another Johnny lover. Dude, all my reviewer like Johnny best :o) Thanks for reviewing!

BeyondtheSea: Unfortunately, the brotherly love won't be happening for a while. And as for the chandelier… if only, if only. :o) And as for Scott… well, he will be doing so major wiggling in the next chapter.

anonymous: I updated! Thanks for your review… although unfortunately I don't think Johnny and Kate can be together. That might be diverging from the Mansfield Park a little too much, even for me :o)

Jill: Dude! (Hurley style) Your review was so epic I'm not even sure where to start. Now that I've said that, The Sound of Music is ringing annoyingly in my ears ("Let's begin at the beginning. A very good place to start") And so on that note, let me commence with Kate's never-ending mental monologues. You know what, I always wondered myself why Edmund (in the book) is all gung-ho about Fanny hooking up with Henry Crawford. I mean, I know Edmund just wants to get into Mary Crawford's pants (dress, skirt, whatever) but you'd think these people would take into consideration the whole messing-with-the-engaged-sister factor. But then, in my version, Adrien is kind of clueless anyway so I suppose letting Scott, God's Friggin' Gift To Humanity, get to him to is kind of in character. I will say in defense of Kate's mental monologue, that were Johnny to remember Kate's birthday without Adrien's prodding, it would make him a better man than me. Of course, I am not a man, but it would make him a better person than me anyway. I constantly forget everyone's birthday. There are only for that I remember: my sister's, my brother's, my best friend's from grade school (and I haven't talked to her since 8th grade so it's really pointless that I remember that one), and Kent's of the infamous Team Kent shirt (but only because his is the same as mine). But anyway, let us, as you put it, "flee (for dear life), from the moronic depths of Kate's mind, into the horrific reality of Kate's Birthday Turned Event" (how much do I love you?). Yay for Johnny Ledger! To be honest, Johnny is starting to annoy me, mostly just because people are so damn determined to like him best. Okay, although I liked the Team Kate shirt too, I think you might be taking it's significance in showing the depth of his love for Kate a little too far. I mean, mostly Johnny's probably wearing that shirt to piss everyone else off, which, lets remember, is his entire reason for being. THIS IS NOT A KANNY STORY, PEOPLE! And mostly (I must admit) I did have him wear the shirt so that he could banter with Rachel about it. But I'm not trying to torture with Ranny (really I'm not). Although I still insist that they cannot be together. What I really wanted in that last chapter was for Scott to be just as surprised as you were by all of his reactions to Kate (as we will see later in his section of the chapter). Now that you mention it, I think that Johnny maybe should've just showed up and conned Kate into baking a cake in his honor. That freaking awesome. Also, it would've avoided the whole apocalyptic Jadrien fight, which I am beginning to regret (the bleakness of the present chapter depressed even me. Fortunately next chapter will refocus on Scott and Kate, which is much less depressing than Johnny and Adrien are at the moment). I'm going to skip the whole Kadrien scene in here (since I'm really bitter about Kadrien and Kanny and all of that right now) and move it right along to: Expendable Manda! Indeed, I was just trying to make sure we didn't forget about her. I'm a little annoyed at Jane Austen for sending the sister off for, like, the whole frickin' book because I think Manda could really provide some humor in the admittedly dark portion of my story. But alas, she is in Europe. I'm also going to skip the Kanny segment here (due to the same bitterness). And so: Shithead Scott! Personally, interaction between him and Rachel are some of my favorites in the story. They are so delightfully mean to each other (in a sibling-ish way) and neither of them feel bad about it, which is an awesome break from Adrien's constant always-feeling-bad-about-everything. And although a little love-hate would be nice in this story, I'm afraid there's only going to be hate when it come to Ranny. In the words of a far wiser Jedi than myself: "Let go of your Ranny." Actually, I believe what Yoda actually said was "Let go of your hatred" but I'm sure he meant "Let go of your Ranny." That said, I will admit that you did suggest (and insist on) the Sawnon, which did end up being basically the best element of Fight Fair, so it looks like we're even. I'm still holding out on Ranny. As for Scott faux-toast, hey, I'm falling for it too. The other thing I love about Scott, is his pervasive downplayment of his shitheadedness. "Legitimate concerns," being the phrase I'm referring too here. You can have Johnny's childrens. I want Scott's (or Adrien Brody's, but I believe we've covered that before). As for the Ranny scene, okay, so I did add the "Do you want to make me a better offer" line just for you. Again, not to torture you or anything. I'm thinking about maybe adding some vaguely Ranny-ish line into the last chapter of this story. Something that none of my other reviewers will interpret, but which will enable you to picture the Ranny ending of your dreams. How's that for a compromise? And speaking of souls and Justin Chamber (aka Alex Karev) there are no words to express how pissed I am at Izzie. Girl is a bitch! I hope her stupid heart patient lover dies, and then I hope that she come crying back to Alex and he's all: "Whatever bitch!" But these are things that only happen in my dreams and not on Grey's Anatomy. And on that note, I think I'm done. You know the drill: review (FF too)! Frequent communication! And On Thin Ice!