ALIEN ONE-SHOTS

Disclaimer: The ALIEN franchise and all related characters wherein are the intellectual property of 20th Century Fox.

WHAT'S THE ONE-SHOT TODAY, MUTHER?

ALIEN/PREDATOR ONE-SHOT

FRANCHISE SPECIFIC: YES

FRANCHISE: ALIEN FRANCHISE

FILM SPECIFIC: YES

FILM(S): ALIENS (1986)

ONE-SHOT 002: TRANSLATION DEVIATION

ALIENS - A2-001

Ellen Ripley opened her eyes groggily. She looked around the room she was in. It was a medical room, and a young woman in a nurse's outfit was busy examining her vital signs. "How are we today?" the nurse asked as she flipped some buttons above Ripley's bed. "Better than yesterday, at least," she answered for herself as she marked down some items on a checklist in her hands.

Ripley was still confused. The Narcissus had never been this spacious. "Where am I? I don't recognize this place," Ripley asked tiredly as she looked around. "You're safe. You're in Gateway Station," the nurse replied.

The nurse then looked over at the door and saw someone standing behind it. "Looks like you've got a visitor," the nurse said before the door slid open and a man holding a cat walked in. The man was dressed in a business suit, and he was constantly sneezing from holding Jonesy. "Hi-achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!" he repeated over and over again before handing the cat over to Ripley.

He then fell over onto the floor and stayed there for several minutes. "Jones," Ripley said warmly as she held the cat in her arms. The nurse was busy checking the man on the floor, before holding something to his nose and waking him back up. "Huh? Wha?" he asked, dazed and confused before he regained his bearings.

He quickly stood up, grabbed a chair, and pulled it over to Ripley's bed. The man looked at the cat nervously before glancing at Ripley. "I see that you two have met," he said. Ripley looked at him curiously. "I'm Burke. Carter Burke. I'm really an okay guy, but don't let that fool you; I work for the company," he said with an unsettling smile. Ripley looked at him contemplatively and then threw Jones at him, triggering the man's allergic reaction again.

ALIENS - A2-002

The pictures of Parker, Lambert, Brett, Ash, Dallas, and Kane moved on the screen as the projector went along its slideshow. Ellen Ripley watched as each picture, accompanied by dossier information culled from various company reports on each individual, slid across the screen before eventually being replayed as the slideshow repeated itself. "I don't understand this," Ripley said in annoyance as she turned around to look at the inquiry committee that was spread around the table in the board room.

"We have been here for three and a half hours. How many different ways do you want me to tell the same story?" Ripley asked the group of sharply dressed men and women sitting around the table. One of them, an older woman with dark brown hair in a bowl cut, squinted her eyes at Ripley in response. "Forty two," she said, referencing the ultimate answer to all questions about life, the universe, and everything.

Ripley silently recounted the number of times she had already told the board her story. She then proceded to recount it twelve more times. "Are you happy?" Ripley asked the woman.

"Yes," the woman said with a satisfied smile.

"And you still don't believe me, do you?" Ripley asked the rest of the board. "Try to look at it from our perspective, please," Van Leuwen implored her. "Please?" Ripley shrugged her shoulder and sat down in a chair at the head of the table. "Now, you freely admit to detonating the engines of, and thereby destroying, an M-Class star frieghter," Van Leuwen said. "A rather inexpensive piece of equipment, I might add," he added.

"Four hundred and ten dollars in Monopoly(TM) money," an accountant said seriously.

"The lifeboat's flight recorder corroborates most elements of your story. Such as, for reasons unknown, you and six other people were part of the Nostromo's crew. As well, after picking up a signal of unknown origin, the Nostromo set down on LV-four-two-six, an unsurveyed world at that time. The Nostromo subsequently took off and was set for self-destruct by you during a drunken orgy! And, after learning that one of your crew was an android, he, or rather it, was then brutally torn to pieces by you and two other crew members before being set on fire!" Van Leuwen continued.

"No, it was not for reasons unknown," Ripley retorted. "We went down there on company orders to get this thing, which destroyed my crew... and your cheap ship," she added. "The analysis team which went over the lifeboat centimeter by centimeter found some physical evidence of the creature you described," Van Leuwen said.

"No! I blew it out of the goddamn airlock! There shouldn't have been anything left!" Ripley wailed in dismay. "Ripley, this is evidence of your story being true," Burke said, his face covered in bandages from the last time he had interacted with Jones The Cat. "Shut up, Burke! You tried to have Jones neutered... with a coffee pot!" Ripley snapped at the man.

"Are there any species like this hostile organism on LV-Four-Twenty-Six?" a board member asked the bowl-cut woman sitting next to him. "No. It's a rock. No indigenous life," the woman said. Ripley turned around and looked at her in shock.

"Did IQ's just drop sharply while I was away? Ma'am already said it was not indigenous. It was a derelict spacecraft. It was an alien ship. It was not from there. Do you get it? We homed in on its beacon," Ripley said.

"And found something never recorded twice on over three-hundred surveyed worlds," the bowl-cut haired woman responded skeptically as she reached forward and retrieved some notes. "A creature that... gestates inside a dead human host. These are your words; and has concentrated blood for acid," she added as she shot a glance at Ripley.

"That's right," Ripley said, nodding her head.

"Look, I know where this is going," Ripley said. "But I'm telling you: those things exist," she said as she looked Van Leuwen in the eyes. "Thank you, that will be all," Van Leuwen said. "Listen to me. Kane, who went into that ship. Kane, who was infected, said he saw thousands of eggs there. Thousands," Ripley said firmly. "Thank you, that's not all," Van Leuwen said firmly.

"Goddamn it, that will be all!" Ripley shouted as she stood up. "It's everything I've told you! All of it!" Ripley shouted. "Hmm... no it isn't," Van Leuwen said. "You didn't mentioned Ash being a droid the final time around. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to call you a liar. Also, we're gonna have to question the other survivor," Van Leuwen said.

"J-Jones? You're gonna... you can't question him! He's too fragile!" Ripley pleaded. "Oh, please! He's a cat! He'll be fine," Van Leuwen said dismissively. Ripley began sobbing into her hands as she thought about how Jones would be forced to relive the trauma of 57 years earlier.

MUCH LATER...

"Now, is there anything else that you would like to add to your final statement?" Van Leuwen asked the small calico cat sitting on the chair in front of the board table. Jones simply licked his paws in a bored fashion before looking up at the group. "Meow," he meowed simply, before resuming his grooming.

"Thank you, Mr. Jones. That will be all," Van Leuwen said firmly. "This debriefing is over. Everyone is dismissed," he added as Ripley walked over and scooped up Jones into her arms, hugging him tightly.

FIN

Author's Notes: And that was the second set of ALIEN & PREDATOR One Shots. Be sure to let me know what you think in your reviews.