Chapter 24
Old
Habits
Scott
I could tell right away that something was off about Kate. After she called me, we met at this trendy little pizza place with the roommate and fiancé and some other random people Becka had managed to round up. Kate sat across from me at the table, seeming glad for the general chaos surrounding her. It made it easier for her not to pay any specific attention to me. But at the same time she wasn't talking to me, she kept glancing pensively in my direction, as if she were trying to make her mind up about something.
It wasn't hard to guess what was going on: somehow it had finally gone down with Adrien, and now she was reassessing me as a potential future investment. Suddenly I realized that I was at the moment of decision—two roads diverging in a yellow wood before me. This was it.
The thing was, this was exactly the kind of situation I was good at manipulating, getting in and getting what I wanted. She was vulnerable; I was here. It would be all too easy. But on the other hand, I knew Kate well enough to know that if I did move in for the kill now, it would definitely severely damage my chances for anything long-term with her. Anything real. The road less traveled was to be patient.
I didn't like having to make such a huge decision so suddenly. So instead, I threw myself into conversation with this giddy redhead who'd ended up sitting on my right side. Which was avoidal, but then Kate wasn't talking to me anyway.
The redhead was happy enough to be talked to. But Becka—apparently used to running her social world—kept sending both Kate and I looks. Finally, when she'd had enough, she said to the redhead in between us, "Jen. Switch seats with me."
Jen looked puzzled but did as she was told. Once Becka was in the seat beside me, she turned on the two of us. "You both," she began, pointing first to Kate and then to me, "need to stop being so damn depressing."
Kate threw her straw at her.
I decided that this was a good moment to be charming, and said to Becka, "I'm not being anything. I was talking to Jen. She's the one throwing straws." I pointed at Kate.
Christian, the fiancé, was out of his seat now and came up behind Becka. "Babe," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Will you please leave the nice people alone?"
She looked back at him. "Are you patronizing me?"
"Absolutely," he said. "And you're meddling."
She sighed and pouted a little, but then shrugged. "Sorry," she said, to Kate or me or both of us. "Old habits, you know?"
Kate laughed and said, "Trust me, I know." The irony in her voice confirmed my suspicions about what was wrong with her. This was so about Adrien.
"Good," Christian said. "So come back and sit with me before you cause any damage here." And he dragged he fiancé away, leaving Kate and I to ourselves.
We looked at each other, and I decided it was time to just get this thing started. Whatever this thing was going to turn out to be.
"So…" I began, drawing out the word in one long breath.
"Adrien's going to marry Rachel," was Kate's reply. She was looking me straight in the eye.
I had been anticipating this so much, it wasn't even hard to know exactly what to say. "Kate," I said it my most understanding of voices. "He was always going to marry Rachel."
"I know," she shrugged. She was playing with the mushrooms she'd taken off her pizza slice. "But it just sunk in. I mean, hearing him say it himself."
The best response seemed to be to say nothing. After a moment she looked back up at me and continued, "But you're for real, right? I mean, you like me."
"What do you think?" I asked.
She wrinkled her nose at my answering-a-question-with-a-question. But that was the closest she'd come to a smile yet. I added, "Besides, I'm not sure how I feel about being sloppy seconds."
She came even closer to smiling. "Hold on, mister. No one said you were sloppy anything. What I mean is, you're proof that there will be other options for me. It's very encouraging."
She may have been partly serious, but partly she was teasing me. "That's mean," I said.
Kate shrugged again. "You've been meaner to me, I recall. You should apologize."
I leaned back in my chair. "Forced apologies are never sincere apologies, you know." Now that there was a good flow between us again, the whole situation seemed less dire. Maybe I wouldn't have to make up my mind tonight.
Whatever the case, the ice had been broken. We spent the rest of dinner in cheerful repartee, and when it was done she drove back in my car.
That might not have been a good idea. When we were alone together, the atmosphere changed again. Kate regressed to her pensive, serious state. Which left me again at a point where a decision had to be made.
"Why does he like Rachel and not me?" Kate asked suddenly, like she really wanted an answer.
"Because she's knew and interesting," I said.
She wrinkled her nose at so paltry an answer. "So why do you like me?"
I kept my eyes on the road. Even now, a very big part of me wanted to say, "I don't" and leave it. Instead I said, "Because you're knew and interesting," which was kind of a joke and another kind of avoidal.
Kate said, "Because Jess left and there was nothing else to do."
I glanced at her, and she was looking at me. "What do you want me to say?" I asked. Her question annoyed me because we both already knew the answer: Yes, at first. No, not now.
She shrugged and turned on the radio and we didn't talk anymore. In the silence, only interrupted by the steady rumble of music, I suddenly remembered something Rachel had said to me when she'd called; Scott, you can't be serious. And then that was all I could think. You can't be serious. You can't be serious. You can't be serious.
When we made it back to he school, I parked the car and got out to walk her to the dorm. We were almost to the front entrance before either of us spoke, and then it was her. She said, "It doesn't matter. You do like me."
I said, "Kiss me, Kate." Not because I thought she would. More because I wasn't thinking and the line popped into my head from some Shakespeare play Kate had been reading for one of her classes.
But Kate leaned forward and kissed me on the lips, a kiss so quick and chaste it barely counted as anything. Except that from her, it did.
I looked at her and knew that if I tried to really kiss her, at this moment she would let me. And so, in the ultimate act of self-sabotage, that's exactly what I did.
Kate
When I woke up the next morning my head was ringing. I sat up in my lower bunk with a groan, hand to my forehead. Becka, who was just getting out of the shower, looked at me. "What?" she said. "You weren't even drinking."
I shook my head and climbed out of bed. Becka continued to watch me as I put my contacts in. "What happened last night after Scott drove you home anyway?" she asked, as if she could read minds.
"We made out," I answered bluntly.
Which thrilled her. "Good for you!" she chirped. "Now where's the harm in that?"
It didn't seem worth it to try to explain. I went into the bathroom and closed the door.
There were so many things wrong with what had happened that I wouldn't have known where to start anyway. First of all, I didn't want to kiss Scott. I mean, I'd wanted to last night. But that had been reactionary. Now that there was a day between me and Adrien's email, the intensity of my disappointment had faded a bit and I could think clearly enough to see that I was not ready to be kissing Scott, or anything else in that direction.
But there was something beyond that. I'd been vulnerable the night before and Scott had apparently been perfectly willing to take advantage of me. Which seemed to say that everything up to right then had been a game after all. A game which he'd won. And now that he'd gotten what he'd gone in for, he would be leaving.
I wasn't sure I wanted that. Just because I didn't want to kiss him now didn't mean I wouldn't want to kiss him ever. The thing was, I liked him. A lot. Maybe not romantically yet, but there was definite potential for that eventually.
If only he was for real.
He didn't call me or anything for two days. It pissed Becka off, but it was more or less what I'd been expecting. Then, on the third day, he showed up at my dorm room. I let him in and braced myself, knowing full well what was coming.
"So," Scott said, sitting down on the lower bunk, which was awkward because he was too tall and had to lean forward a little. "It's been fun."
"It's been fun," I repeated because I'd at least expected him to ease into things. "Past tense though."
"Well yeah, since you're breaking up with me," he said very matter-of-factly.
I thought: he's either practiced or done this before. I said, "I can't break up with you. We're not together."
"So you mean when you kissed me outside…" he trailed off, gesturing towards my window.
"It was a mistake," I told him.
"Told ya you were break up with me," he said, and stood up. That was it. He went to the door as if to leave now.
I couldn't let that be it, because I wanted something more. I deserved something more. An explanation. An apology. A fight. Anything.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked.
And suddenly all of Scott's collectedness imploded, just like that. He whirled back around. "What is wrong with me! What is wrong with me? You're the one who's made your life a shrine to this asshole who thinks you're his freaking sister. And then you have the nerve to act all tragic about it, like it's not what you signed up for."
I'd been hurt when he'd been so calm. Now I was scared by how much I actually could affect him. He was shouting, so I shouted back. "What do you want me to do?"
"Just get over it! Seriously, Kate, you can't really expect me to sit on my ass waiting for three centuries or however much longer than that until you're finally ready—"
I interrupted him, not shouting anymore. My voice was a little shaky. "You knew full well from the beginning that my feelings for Adrien—"
He cut back in. "And that's fine. Whatever. Look, the point is, Kate, I'm not that guy. You're that girl, and I'm not that guy."
"I'm wha—?" I tried to ask, but he anticipated me.
"That girl. All scary and damaged and love's done you so wrong, the next guy who come around is going to have to be phenomenally patient and understanding." He paused, then concluded, "I'm not that guy."
I had to admit that the last part was true. He wasn't that guy. But I wasn't convinced that I was that girl. And if I wasn't that girl, he didn't need to be that guy for this to work out. Although I wasn't sure that I wanted it to work out, but I wasn't sure that I didn't either. I didn't know what I felt, and I didn't know what to say.
Scott allowed for an awkward silence and then he said, "So. Game over."
And that was it. "Finally," I said, exhaling for the first time since I'd kissed him, maybe for the first time in weeks, or months, or since the very first time he'd talked to me in the piano room. I suddenly knew exactly what I felt: relieved.
The game, of all games, was over.
I'm not sure that he expected relief from me, but it almost allowed us to part cordially. He wanted to go for his own good, and suddenly I could see that him leaving would be for my own good too.
When he was almost out of my dorm room door, I said to him almost wryly: "I'll probably see you at the wedding." Meaning, of course, Rachel and Adrien's.
He knew what I meant. He looked at me, blinked, and then shrugged. "For the record," he said, "You said that. Not me."
And then he was gone.
I thought: I'm glad.
- - - - - - - - - -
One day later, when it started getting lonely, I was not quite as glad anymore. The best thing, I told myself, was to stay busy. And so I took myself to Starbucks to study for the greater portion of the evening.
When I got back to the door, Becka was walking in as I was walking out. She turned around and fell into pace with me. "There's a boy up there waiting for you," she deadpanned.
I stopped a little in my tracks, my stomach instantly tied up into a nervous knot. "Scott's back?" I asked hesitatingly.
Becka shook her. Relief and disappointment washed over again. But mostly disappointment this time. I told myself it was for the best.
"Different model," Becka said. "Much hotter. I'd marry this one. And when I say I'd marry this one, I mean literally I would." She sighed. "If I wasn't in love with my fiancé."
And then I was happy again. "It's Johnny," I said. Who else could it be? It was Johnny, come to scare Scott away. There wasn't anyone I wanted to see more.
I skipped up the stairs to our floor, and Becka—who had apparently decided that where ever she had been going wasn't important—trailed along behind. Johnny was here. He would talk sense into me again. I rounded the corner to our hall.
But wasn't Johnny waiting by our door.
It was Adrien.
- - - - - - -
A/N: So my sister has this new kitten at her house, which she is calling Watson and her boyfriend is calling King Henry the 8th (Hank for short) and I am calling Demon Cat. Seriously. Right now it is trying to eat the computer cords.
Anyway, longer wait for this chapter then I'd hoped. Apologies. Shorter chapter too, but hey, the plot is finally moving along. If it's any consolation, I'm really excited about writing the next one which maybe means I'll get around to doing that with some greater efficiency.
One last thing, since this fic is a democracy: majority rules. So y'all win. I'm not really gonna put Johnny and Rachel together. Which just means Johnny doesn't get a girl because there are no other chicks in the story for him to have. Oh well. Poor Johnny. Y'all did it to him ;o)
Wow, so many reviewers. :oD
Huntress of the Stars: The accidents coming right up :o) Next chapter, actually.
Denaliyasha Thanks for the review. :oD
AliKitKat No, more than two more chapters. I'm not sure how many chapters left actually, but it will probably be winding down pretty soon. I have lots of ideas for my next project already though, so I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna do next.
jayley Next chapter all the accident drama starts. Hurray! No worries: no Johnny/Rachel.
Captain Napalm :oD Sadly this might be the last chapter Becka & Christian get to be in. So sad, so sad. And I don't know: right side is pretty damn sexy. :o) PS: I saw you updated. And now I'm going go read and review RIGHT NOW! Yay! My favoritest fic in all the world. I'm so excited.
slam a revolving door: Lol. Yeah, House is way too old for me too but that doesn't change the fact of his hotness. There are probably like a million hidden plots in Lost. I can't always follow them, but it's still fun to watch. And yeah, they're all beautiful, which makes it doubly fun to watch (I'm so excited – it starts over here next Wednesday). I'm in the US, Tennessee right now, going to school. Aw, I love the Moulin Rouge too. Although, yeah, really sad. But I'm also all for the warm fluffy stuff. That's why I love Jane Austen, I think. Glad you liked the last chapter. Yeah, so Scott really needed to quit and go home. Troublemaker. Grr.
Jeni: No worries. It'll all end right. No Johnny/Rachel and definitely Kate/Adrien (and everyone still campaigning for Kate/Johnny will just have to get over it, lol)
NotreDamegirlieSorry, sorry, sorry. ;o) Aah, everyone knows the ending anyway, right? Lol. Glad you like Kate, and all the Adrien/Rachel development from the last chapter (for some reasons its been so hard for me to develop their relationship. arg). Hope this chapter helped your shoulder angel out. Lol.
Rhapsody's Song: Don't worry! No Johnny/Rachel! Anyways, that's what I think is so sad about the whole Scott/Kate subplot. They could've worked out, you know? But they don't. So sad. If only he'd really reformed.
embracing: Well, Adrien's back at least! Johnny will be… sort of.. back soon. Thank you! I'm glad you like Scott. He's actually my favorite character to write. So much fun. Even though he can really be a jerk sometimes…
fyre-anjel: Hopefully I will get more chapters out soon. My computers kinda half-broken right now, but that's no excuse for how long it took me to finish this. Brace yourself for Kate and Adrien's reunion, coming up next chapter!
teengirl01: Hey, new reviewer! Thanks for reviewing! Glad you like this, even though you haven't read the book. I'll try to get chapter up quicker so you can find out what happens.
fruit-filled: Lol. Good luck with those (overdue) essays. Thanks for the review. I'll try to keep the chapters rolling.
Rubicon: I haven't ever seen the BBC adaptation of Mansfield Park, but having seen other BBC adaptations, I can imagine precisely the kind of wig your talking about. :o) Wow, I can't believe you re-read the whole book. That's some serious dedication. Thanks for the wonderful review. I'm glad you're liking my little story.
shokolade: Computers are EVIL! Mine won't connect to the internet, so I have to hike it all the way up to the computer lab in the library to, like, check my email or anything. Arg. Anyway, I think my favorite line from your review was: "how can someone so smart be so dumb?" Because that so encapsulates all thing Adrien. In fact, I think I'm going to have someone say it about him sometime. Like Manda. If it's okay that I steal your line. You can consider it one major shout out to you and your awesome reviews. Anyways, no worries. I would never let Adrien and Kate not be together because really I'm both too much of a die hard Jane Austen fan and a die hard happy ending fan for things to not turn out the way they're supposed to. :o) And seriously, everyone DOES take Adrien for advantage. Poor guy. I'm glad you're liking the Manda development. I'm definitely trying to turn her into more of a character here towards the end. Another great line from you: "Scott will always be the most sincere insincere jerk." LOL. And: so true!
Trish: LOL. Wow. I don't think I've ever been called a druglord before. Okay, I KNOW I've never been called a druglord before. I'm not sure about the alternate ending there, but I am promising no Johnny/Rachel (since Johnny is everyone's favorite and everyone hates Rachel).
Jill: If you're alive out there somewhere (ah, the beauty of my melodrama), I luv ya chicka. Sawyer says he'd be very happy to love you to. (Oh where have you gone? No one else gets my Sawyer jokes.)