Chapter 26
Hard Times

Kate

Adrien dropped me off at the hospital on his way to pick up Jess. When I got upstairs, Yates was in Johnny's room. I hadn't seen anything of Yates yet, although I knew from Manda that he was here. It didn't surprise me to see him now. It seemed natural.

He looked up when I came in and said dully, "Hey. I heard you were around."

"I heard you weren't talking," I returned, a slight reproach. I suspected that the truth was he just wasn't talking to Manda, and I didn't like that. Allowing that we were all thrown way off balance by what was going on with Johnny, it still didn't seem right for Yates to be taking it out on her.

He shrugged and I walked around him and sat down on the chair at his side. The clock on the hospital wall ticked loudly. Suddenly Yates said, "It's just not right. Me with Manda. I mean, me and you, Kate, we're all Johnny's got on his side of the war most of the time. And here I've got my foot in the other bloody camp."

Here was finally someone to share my guilt. We were both traitors, Yates and I, in our own ways. I knew how he felt.

"If it makes you feel better," I said. "He was coming to me, to stop me from dating Scott Harrington."

It did seem to make Yates feel better, misery loving company and all. He raised his eyebrows as he looked at me. "That guy? He's a jackass. You wouldn't have dated him."

I just shrugged, because that seemed like less and less of an absolute.

"Besides, what about good old Adrien?" he added.

I scowled at him, but without any real malice. "Piss off." I tried my best to imitate his accent. It failed. He laughed and shook his head, and then he continued.

"You know, I can't even hate Adrien properly for the recent estrangement bit. I mean, the kid is shit for brains, but at least he just had it out straight with Johnny. Johnny probably had it coming anyway. But the point is that I, on the other hand, have just been stabbing Johnny in the back for the past two months. Far worse, you know?"

"You have to talk to Manda," I said.

He scowled at me, a little more seriously than when I'd scowled at him. I figured that was because he knew I was right. "You know, I never did like you," he said.

I rolled my eyes. After a moment I said, "You should've just told Johnny about Manda. He would've gotten over it." I paused, then added, "And I should've send Scott packing the minute he showed back up."

"We suck," Yates said.

There was nothing else to say but that. We sat and watched the time slowly pass on the clock on the wall across from us.

- - - - -

Scott

So Adrien left one morning and came back in the afternoon with Jess. I was with Rachel when they arrived and I said to her, "Nice to be all back together again, huh?"

Rachel didn't think anything was nice anymore. Things were coming apart with Adrien, and she wasn't stupid. She knew it. But she hadn't completely giving up quite yet—the fight was still in her. Still, right now, she was mostly letting things run their course. It seemed pointless, she said, to make a move in any direction until Johnny had made up his mind about living or dying. Until he either woke up or kicked it there was no way to know which way things would go, and nothing to do.

Rachel looked at me, and looked at Jess, and said, "Don't even think about it."

Swear to God, I wasn't. The way I figured, enough was enough. And I had certainly had more enough of this family. I didn't want to get into it. I intended to sit it out until Rachel was done with Adrien—however that one ended—and then I intended to leave. Never look back.

But then the next day I ran in to Jess in the hallway. There she was—queen bitch, cold as ice, in all her regal glory—and she just looked at me with her big blank eyes and said, "I take it it's off with Kate."

I don't know how she knew just where to hit me.

She gave me only a moment to respond, a moment I was too stunned to capitalize on, and then she said, "I'm so not going to be your revenge sex." With that, she passed me by and floated down the hall.

And I'm sure she meant that, from the depths of her cold heart. But at the same time, she had just laid out a challenge. And like I said, I was pissed. I mean, I'd spent the past week watching Adrien and Kate getting all cozy again, myself clearly out of the picture.

So I thought, watching Jess Mansfield White stalk down the hallway away from me: here was one that I could win.

- - - - - - -

Adrien

Time kept passing. A day, another day, almost a week. Every day that went by the situation was bleaker. We all knew it; nobody said it. We had an unofficial but basically regular schedule at the hospital—Manda, Kate and I on regular rotation. I knew Yates was around too, but none of us saw him. He was like a phantom. I thought he probably hated me. Couldn't blame him. Sometimes Rachel came with me when I went to see Johnny, but mostly she left me alone. It was already over, I guess. I didn't really know it then, but it was already over for Rachel and I. That ship had sailed, and I wasn't on it.

It's got to be had on Kate," I told Manda, on one of the days we were at the hospital together.

"It's hard on all of us," she said.

I was trying to make her see what I was saying without actually saying it. It was something I'd been wondering about lately, a possibility that bothered me. Again, though I didn't know why.

"Yeah, but especially Kate," I said. Manda shrugged. I forged ahead. "I mean, she and Johnny—she could—"

Here, Manda cut in. "Three days ago she was in love with Scott. Now she's in love with Johnny?"

I shrugged sheepishly. Yes, that was what I was driving at.

"You have issues, Adrien," Manda said gravely.

"I know," I sighed, leaning back in my chair. I did know. There were things that I was just beginning to realize.

But my separate issues aside, the point is that with Johnny and with everything else we were all too preoccupied to see it coming. Nobody was paying attention to Scott or Jess or to what was going on again. Right up until that night, nobody had a clue. Not even Manda, I think. So when that night came, we were all hit hard.

None of us harder than Kate.

- - - - - -

Kate

That night, when we were leaving the hospital at our usual time, Adrien said to me, "I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."

Probably, I remember thinking to myself, probably he just doesn't want to go home.

I couldn't blame him. The level of tension at the Mansfield house increased daily. Adrien did best when it was just the two of us, him and me. I knew because he told me so—that those times were the only times he felt any degree of okay. And every time he told me something like that I would have to tell myself that it didn't mean anything, or at least not that, not what I wanted it to mean. You're his best friend, Kate. His best friend. His sister maybe. But that's all.

I was so tired. And so scared. It was looking worse and worse for Johnny. I didn't know what I was going to do. What any of us were going to do.

That night, on the way back from the hospital, we stopped to eat because Adrien was hungry and didn't want to be home. If we hadn't have stopped, who knows? Our whole lives could've gone differently, I suppose. Maybe Scott and I would've been able to part on our okay terms. Maybe now I would be able to look back and remember him smiling—the boy who I could've loved if I hadn't have already loved Adrien. I can't say for sure that's the way things would've gone, but it is a possibility.

One thing's for sure. If we hadn't have stopped, one night, at least, would not have been so terrible.

We did stop. It took me until Adrien had already parked the car to realize where we were. And then I laughed, because it was funny. Not ha-ha funny, but ironic funny. Almost tragic funny. We were at that Waffle House, the same one I'd stopped at with Johnny after the fight, the night he'd left us for good.

I didn't tell Adrien.

Besides, this isn't the part of the story that's important. What happened at the Waffle House was inconsequential. We ate. Adrien, bless his heart, tried his best to talk to me. He knew that there was some other issue going on with me, and it hurt him that I wouldn't talk about whatever it was. But I couldn't tell him about everything that had happened with Scott. Partly because it seemed so hard to explain. But partly because I just needed to keep something to myself. Adrien and I were just friend after all. And when Johnny woke up—he had to wake up—I was going to leave again; that hadn't changed. Adrien just couldn't know everything about me. It was already too much work trying not to be in love with him.

But like I said, that's not what's important. The part of the story that's important is what happened when we got back to the house. So here is what happened.

I went to my room and tried to sleep. I couldn't. I was exhausted, yes—emotionally, physically, basically in every way. And yet there was too much going on in my head. I could only lay there and think.

I needed someone to talk to, someone who wasn't Adrien. Maybe Manda, I thought. And then I thought: maybe Scott. Maybe we could be friends. There was a lot of good in him, I believed, no matter how successfully he hid it. So maybe he would come through for me now, when it counted.

It was a stupid thought. But nevertheless, I got up and put on a sweat shirt and put on my glasses and shuffled down the stairs.

On my way down, on the second floor of the house, I noticed that the light was on in one of the spare bedrooms—a room that I knew no one was using. Strange, I thought, and knocked on the door. No one answered. Not even a sound.

So I didn't think anyone was in there. I figured I might as well turn the light off. I shouldn't have done it.

I opened the door.

- - - - - -

Adrien

After we got back from the Waffle House, Kate went to her room. I didn't see the point in going to my own; I was still practically insomniac. Instead, I went to the kitchen, and made myself coffee, and sat down at the table with it.

Timing is a funny thing, isn't it? I could've chosen any other moment to leave the kitchen and head upstairs, and things wouldn't have happened exactly the way they did. But as it happened, I got tired of sitting downstairs by myself and decided to go up to my room despite the insomnia just in time to run into Kate in the hall, when she was five steps away from the spare bedroom.

I remember how she looked when I came upon her—pale, even in the dark hallway. One hand was covering her mouth. She was retreating down the hall and didn't see me.

"Kate," I said, quietly so as not to scare her.

She jumped anyway, then very slowly turned around. When she saw that it was me, her face registered relief. But she was still agitated, biting her lower sip. Saucer-eyed.

I stepped toward her. "What happened?" I asked, concerned.

She shook her head, as if because she couldn't speak. She pointed to that door behind us, to the bedroom. I glanced behind me, then looked back at Kate. "What—" I began to ask again, in my confusion.

But just then that door behind me opened, and Scott came out of it. He was pulling on a shirt and saying in a loud, frantic whisper, "Kate, wait—" He stopped short when he saw me. Dead in his tracks. He shut up too.

Somehow, I put it all together right then. And I mean all of it, or all of it as far as I could've possibly known. Here was the way things stood: I loved Kate, who mostly likely loved Scott, who was sleeping with Jess again—apparently right now, in the spare bedroom. They were reeking that havoc while Johnny was dying in the hospital.

Not dying. Just in a coma.

It was too big of an epiphany to take in all at once. I had to compartmentalize, deal with one thing at a time. And so I said to Scott, "Leave her alone."

He looked at me hard, then glanced at Kate. He wanted to say something to her. I don't know if he even knew what, but something. I wasn't going to let him. He'd done her enough damage already. And Scott knew that I wasn't going to let him. He looked back at me. Kate quickly disappeared down the hall.

A moment later Jess herself came lurching out of the room. Upon seeing me, her face transformed into the same deer-in-the-headlights look Scott's had a moment ago. My poor sister, I thought. My poor sister. She must have loved Scott too.

I turned back to him. "Get out of this house," I said.

"Adrien," Jess began to say, sounding almost desperate. She stopped there, because I shifted my gaze back to her. I don't know what was in my expression that brought her to a halt like that. Disappointment, or maybe pity.

But what I was thinking was: this is not what's most important now. Because I suddenly knew that I loved Kate, and I did think that she loved Scott. So this was not what was most important.

"We'll talk about later," I said to Jess. To Scott, I emphasized my order. "I want you out by tomorrow morning."

And then I turned and left them standing there. I went upstairs to find Kate, who needed me.

- - - - - -

Scott

Once Adrien was gone, I exploded.

"Shit!" I shouted. "Shit!" And then about every other profanity I could think of.

I didn't give a crap about Adrien. Good for him for finally growing some balls. I would leave his damn house. I didn't care.

But it was that Kate had walked in on us. Suddenly I felt my whole life had ended. Not that it wasn't already over, long over, with her. But at least before we had parted peaceably. She would've been able to look back at me as a good time, maybe even as a regret. Now all she would remember was this. The sex hadn't even been that great. I hated Jess. I hated myself. I hated the whole goddamn world.

Jess, standing next to me, had grown almost frighteningly silent as I threw my fit. She just watched me. The thing I knew about Jess was that she was very much like me. And I knew she was begrudgingly half in love with me, just like I was begrudgingly half in love with Kate. So maybe, with all the work I'd been doing lately to get her back into bed, she convinced herself that I felt the same way back.

Still, what right did she have to be looking at me all tragic? So maybe both our lives were over. But I'd done it to myself, and she'd done to herself too.

"What?" I snapped.

She didn't say anything.

"I have to go pack," I said angrily, and started down the hall.

"I'm coming with you," she called after me.

I turned around. "What?"

"I have to get out of here. You owe me that much."

I didn't see that I owed her anything, but I saw what she meant. She had no where to go. She'd already told me she couldn't go back to the stupid husband. And now she couldn't stay here. For a moment I almost felt bad for her. Maybe that had been her plan—to come back home, let Adrien take care of things. He always did. And now she couldn't.

Besides, I didn't feel like fighting.

"Fine," I said. "We're leaving in an hour."

It wasn't like we thought it would last. We both half hated each other already. But at the same time, I guess that was something in common.

- - - - - -

A/N: So, not as quick an update as the last one, but at least it's better than most of my interminably slow updates have been lately. This chapter was for all of y'all who thought there needed to be more action in the last one. :o) By the way, I'm foreseeing two to three more chapters in this story's future. Kind of sad, really. tears I'll miss all of y'all wonderful reviewers!

embracing: Lol. Not many people love heartless Scott. I kinda love heartless Scott, but not many other people do.

WhiteCamellia: I'm trying to keep it coming quickly for the next few chapters. Hopefully the story will be finished within a month or so. Thanks (as always) for reviewing!

NotreDamegirlie: Lol. Glad the typos were under control. I'll try to keep the fast(er) updates rolling.

jayley: Yay Manda! You've got to love her.

AliKitKat: Well, that's it for evil Scott and annoying Jess. But cold Rachel and Johnny still to come. And Adrien is getting less and less dense. Hurray!

bellatrix731: There's some action for you. Lol. Yeah, the story's just about over. Wrapping it up in another two chapters of so. I'll miss writing it. Sigh…

Captain Napalm: He he he. The Adrien-Manda interactions have become some of my favorite to write. I mean, somebody's got to tell Adrien that he has issue, right? Because clearly, the boy has issues. Lol.

Rhapsody's Song: Hey, you thought Scott had crossed the line last chapter… Now he had REALLY crossed the line. Evil Scott. Grr.

Elwen: Welcome back! Yay! A yes, college can indeed be a pain. Aw, thank you for all the compliments! I grade Comp 101 papers for one of the English professors here and I know exactly what you mean about wondering how some people got into college. Lol. Hope you liked the chapter!

Rose Cotton: I'm so glad everyone likes Manda! She's been fun to write these last couple for chapters. And yes, somebody does need to knock some sense into Adrien, that's for sure. :o)

a: Glad you liked the chapters! I'm trying to be more regular about my updates (yeah, I know, now that I've only got like three chapters left). Scott is a bastard and deserves to be hated. Evil! But I feel a little bad for him too. Just a little bit, though. I've really had fun writing all the little Adrien-Manda moment in these last couple chapters. It's like some light stuff in some otherwise kind of dark and angsty chapters. Anyways, hope you liked the update! Hopefully I'll have another chapter up in the relatively near future. :o)

shokolade: Fast updates seem to have been a hit. Honestly, I think I used to be much better at getting chapters up within decent time. I don't know what happened to me. Oh yeah – life happened. Grr. Stupid life. Lol. Anyways, umm… I don't know that Jess is really ever gonna be redeemed. Poor Jess. She has wasted her life. Hey, finally Adrien is getting some sense! Yay Adrien! He he. I love writing the little Manda-Adrien conversations because she's always just like: Adrien, get a clue! Oh come on, you got to feel at least a little bad for Scott. I mean, he has serious self-loathing problems. But only a little bad for him, because basically he is a bastard and basically he's done some pretty unforgivable things. Anyway, I didn't get to Johnny in this chapter, but I promise that the hanging-in-the-balance-of-life-or-death suspense will end for him next chapter! One way or the other! Thanks you, as always, for your wonderfulest of reviews. I will miss them once the story's over! tears