Chapter 27
Back to Good

Adrien

I stopped right outside of Kate's room and leaned against the wall. My pulse was racing. I wasn't even sure why. I needed a moment to collect myself. Just a moment.

Everything was such an immense mess—I loved Kate; who really did appear to love Scott; who was sleeping with Jess; who was married; and Rachel, Rachel was still across the street in that apartment, expecting her future to involve marrying me.

I felt terrible, completely inadequate. And worst of all I knew the only person capable of sorting through all of this and knowing exactly what to do—what to say to Kate right now—was in a hospital bed, in a coma.

In his absence, it fell to me to do what I could.

I knocked on Kate's door. She didn't answer, which was not wholly unexpected.

"Kate," I said, knocking softly again. "Kate, it's me." I waited. "I'm coming in," I told her, and gently pushed the door open.

She was standing in front of her mirror, one hand covering her mouth, the other on top of her head, holding her hair back from her faced. She dropped the hand on her mouth to her side and said, before I asked, "I'm fine. Really. Fine."

Clearly, this was not the case.

I didn't know what I should do, or even what I wanted to do in my tumult of emotion: kiss her, beat the crap out of Scott. "Kate," I struggled to find the right words. "It's okay. You can not be fine if…" I paused, then restarted. "If you loved him, it's okay—"

"But that's the point," she interrupted sharply, throwing her other hand down to her side as well. Her hair fell forward and curtained her face, and she turned and paced to the other side of the room. She hadn't looked at me yet.

"I don't know why it matters," she continued. She was still pacing. "It shouldn't—I don't love him, Adrien. I didn't. I wanted him to leave. I practically sent him back here. I was relieved, you know?"

I had no idea what she was talking about. And this was the moment she finally decided to turn and faced me. Now, with me standing there, the most bewildered look on my face. When she saw that look, her own face crumpled and she sunk onto her bed, elbows on her knees, face in her hands. "Oh my God," she said. "What is wrong with me?"

Later she would tell me how awful she felt, suddenly realizing just how much she had shut me out. She told me I didn't just looked bewildered; I looked hurt. Right then, though, I didn't know any of that. I didn't know what was wrong with her, except that Scott was sleeping with Jess.

I crossed the room and sat down beside her. I put one arm around her and she leaned into me. I felt her start to cry. Not sobbing, but crying just a little. I put my other arm around her and pulled her into me, rocking gently. "It's okay," I said, even though it wasn't. Nothing was okay. "It's going to be alright," I said into her hair, and then I kissed the top of her head.

For a moment we sat, and then she leaned back from me. I wanted to wipe the tear lines under her eyes with my thumb, but she did that herself.

"I should've told you a long time ago what was going on," she said. I knew that meant she was going to tell me now. The whole story. Kate and Scott, from the beginning. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the whole story. But if she was talking to me again, that seemed like a step in the right direction. I would take that.

So I sat quietly while she began and stayed quiet until she finished with the end, which I knew. "And so I opened the door and… well, you saw that part," she concluded ruefully. We both sat in silence for a moment. I had been silent for so long, I didn't know how to find my voice again. I didn't know how to react.

Kate fell back onto her bed. "I'm so…" she tailed off, trying to come up with the right word. "Tired," she finally finished. "I mean, I told you I'm not in love with him and I'm not in love with him but…" She sighed. 'I don't know. He's Scott. There were a lot of time through the whole thing when I thought—I don't know what I thought. But I thought about it. More than once."

She stopped again. I scooted back on the bed so that my back was against the wall. She looked at up at me from her position. Whether she loved him or not, she did look hurt. I hated seeing that.

"I just thought he was for real, I guess. I believed him God, I feel so stupid." Kate raked her hands through her hair. I still hadn't said of anything, and I was well aware of it. But I just didn't know what to say. She needed Johnny. Johnny. Not me.

She sat back up next to me. "Kate, you know you're not stupid," I said, feeling our proximity. Shoulder to shoulder. Arms touching. Legs touching. It was amazing, I thought, how you could be completely oblivious to your own feelings one moment, and the next they could have you completely fogged up.

Kate almost laughed, but only almost. She was so drained; there was not much of anything left in her. "Actually, I really don't know that," she said.

"Well, at any rate, I'm definitely stupider than you. If that makes you feel any better."

She turned her head toward me and her lips turned upward the slightest bit. "Not really," she teased, and then she became serious again. "But it feels better to be talking to you. I'm sorry I didn't for so long. You're my best friend, you know?"

I tried not to feel like that was just the consolation prize.

"I'm sorry too," I said, then realized she was as always going to ask what for. And what I was I sorry for? I was sorry for being so stupid, for taking till now to realize I loved her. I said: 'I'm sorry that all of this had to happen to you." Which was also the truth.

"Thank you," she said.

We sat there beside each other for a long time. Eventually we both fell asleep.

- - - - - - -

Kate

I woke up the next morning a little disoriented. I opened my eyes and the first thing I realized was that I'd slept with my contacts in. The second was that I was propped up next to Adrien. Leaning on him, really. Practically in his lap, come to think about it.

I sat up quickly as the night before all began to return to me—coming back from Johnny's, Scott with Jess in the spare bedroom, Adrien, telling him the whole story, falling asleep.

Scott with Jess, I thought, looking at Adrien still sleeping beside me. What did it matter? I was already irreparably emotionally damaged. What was one more hole to get over?

Besides, there were worse thing than Scott with Jess. Johnny in a coma, that was a worse thing. This, this was a worse thing too: waking up beside Adrien. It was cruel, like a taste of the one thing I really wanted, which was also the one thing I would never have.

I got up and went downstairs. It was a little nerve-racking, walking though that house, wondering if I might run into Jess at some ill-fated moment. But it was better than staying in my room and watching Adrien sleep. I needed breathing room.

Fortunately, I didn't run into Jess. Manda was the first person to join me in the kitchen, which I was thankful for. She meandered in wearing boxers and a T shirt, and pulled herself onto the counter. I felt very conscious of still being in yesterdays now-wrinkled clothing, but Manda didn't seem to notice. She began talking.

"What's today's schedule look like?" she asked, turning to open a cabinet above her left shoulder from which she extracted a box of cereal. She began eating out of the box. "I think we need to go grocery shopping. Actually, we should send Adrien. Since he seems to do better when he's got, like, a task. And I should probably try to locate my boyfriend." She paused and her gaze shifted to a point some where above my head. "The mute," she added with the slightest bit of bitterness.

I decided I should tell her about Jess and Scott. She was smart and capable and would probably handle it better than the rest of us. Besides, it was her sister. It was her business. "Manda," I said.

Her eyes snapped back to me and she recovered her usual cheerfulness. But she kept talking, leaving me no room to get a word in edgewise. "Have you seen him yet? I bet he talked to you."

"Manda," I repeated.

She took this as an affirmative, which was not how I meant it. "I figured. Just me he's not speaking to then. I figured out why that is, you now. It's the guilt." Here she finished and finally looked at me. Really looked at me, appraising my appearance, wrinkled and exhausted as I was. Manda frowned.

"My God Kate, what's wrong?" she asked.

I would've told her, but right then Rachel entered the scene. In contrast to Manda and me, she was already exquisite, all made up for the day. It seemed overzealous to me, but I knew this partly had to do with my own jealously issues.

"Has anyone seen my brother?" she asked, looking mostly at me. I thought: why do I have to be the one having this conversation with Rachel? After all, it was Adrien who threw him out of the house.

Before answering, I looked at Manda to say that this was what I was going to tell her. She was already wide-eyed, catching on to something. I turned back to the expectant Rachel, and opened my mouth to try to explain the night before. But we were interrupted again.

Adrien shuffled into the kitchen, also in clothes from the day before and looking possibly more disheveled than me. His hair was flattened on one side and he was sleepily rubbing his face with a hand. He stopped in the doorway and looked at the three of us, then zeroed in on me. Straight away, he crossed the room and sat down at the table beside me. "Hey, you okay?" he asked softly, not for anyone else to hear.

I nodded. I was fine.

"Uuuuhhh," Manda drawled from the counter. "So what's going on, family?"

I didn't know if I was part of that family, but it seemed like I would have to be. Unless she meant Rachel.

Rachel was watching Adrien, eyes narrowed. "Scott's not here, is he?" she asked.

Adrien looked at her. I realized that by sitting down beside me he had allied himself with me in a way. Which was sweet. But I took it to mean nothing more than that he was still worried about me due to the mess I'd been last night. He said to Rachel, "I'd be very surprised if he were."

Rachel nodded and glanced from him to me. I knew that one of us was going to have to spell it out in the next few moments. But then, suddenly and unexpectedly, it was Manda putting two and two together for us all.

"You know," she said slowly, again focusing at that spot above m head. "I went to Jess's room this morning? To talk to her, right? And she…wasn't there either."

I jerked back into my chair, hit by another surprise blow. Scott had taken Jess with him. Jess was what was real for him. All along, it was her. It made me the joke. I was the joke. I felt Adrien's hand on my back, steadying me.

Rachel still had that furrowed look on her face. I saw her taking in the way Adrien was differing to me, working out what this all meant. Then before she said what she said next, what would end up throwing the game, she game me this nod. So slight, almost imperceptible. But I saw it. It was her acknowledgement of defeat.

Then, in her way, Rachel bowed out gracefully.

"You know," she began, "it's really a good thing."

I felt Adrien's hand tense on my back. "What—" he began.

She interrupted, voice laced with derision. "I mean, I know Johnny's in this coma and I respect how you're all letting your lives revolve around that right now. But honestly, let's face it. Things aren't looking so good for him, and as much as I'd love it too if Johnny did live, we've really got to get on with our lives. Besides, even if he does die—and like I said, it's not that I want him to—but I have to say, I really don't see how it will affect anyone. He doesn't even like the lot of you, and you don't really like him. Jess and Scott are just embracing reality. Getting on with their lives. It's healthy."

She paused for a breath. "I can't—" Adrien sputtered into the silence. But Rachel was on a role. This time, she aimed directly for him.

"I know she's married, and that offends your moral code or whatever. But baby, it's the 21st century. Adultery is perfectly socially acceptable. It's practically in style."

"Rachel," I said, caution in my tone. I don't know why I was trying to stop her. I knew exactly what she was doing. She was self-destructing. It was as deliberate and calculated as everything else she'd done so far. But since I had spoken up, she turned to me and hammered the final nail in her coffin.

"Oh honestly Kate, this whole mess is your fault. If you'd just dated him instead of—"

"Stop," Adrien said. "Don't talk to her like that."

Rachel stopped. The whole room stopped.

Adrien was looking past Rachel at nothing, his face unreadable. Then he shifted his eye to her and calmly said, "I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out."

Rachel looked at him placidly. I don't know if Adrien ever came to understand that she did it on purpose. But I saw it then, and I saw the magnitude of what she was doing for him: she was letting him off without guilt. Rachel, I still think, could not have been as bad as most of us remember her. At the core of her must have been something good. After all, she did right by us in the end. I still wish I'd found a way to thank her.

Suddenly there was more furry in Adrien, as if his initial shock had worn off and now all of what Rachel had said was hitting him full force.

"How dare you talk about my brother that way? How dare you talk to Kate—" He broke off. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Rachel shrugged. "I'll live," she said, and walked out of the kitchen and out of our lives.

The three of us left were stricken to silence. Finally, Manda said as if to no one, "Well, that kind of puts mute boyfriend into perspective."

Adrien looked at her and asked wearily, "What?"

Manda appeared to have just realized she's said that out loud. Then she shrugged. "The hell with it. I'm dating Yates."

Adrien just kind of stared at her, then all of the sudden he was standing and grabbing his keys.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"A drive," he said, sliding on shoes. He was a flurry of activity. I felt like I could barely get him to hear me.

Just the same I said, "I'll come with you."

"No. I can't—just, not now." He finally turned toward me though, and must have caught how worried I looked because he stopped and took a step toward me. "Hey, it's okay," he said. "I just need to clear my head, alright?" I nodded, although I wasn't sure it was alright. In fact, I was quite sure it wasn't. But Adrien went. It wasn't like I could stop him.

"Shit," Manda said, looking after him. "That is so not good. My timing, maybe, not the best." But we both knew things ran deeper than her timing, which was why we were both so worried.

An hour later, when Adrien still hadn't returned, we both couldn't stand just waiting any longer. Manda left for Yates. She tried to get me to come with her, and I felt her honest sincerity: she wanted me to come. But I declined. Maybe I needed to clear my head too.

Still, I had to busy myself somehow. I couldn't take just idly worrying about Adrien. I took to cleaning things. Three hours of scrubbing bathrooms and kitchen and walls.

And then the call.

I picked up the home phone on the first ring when the caller ID said it was Adrien's cell.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Kate," he said. There was something in his voice. "The hospital just called me. It's Johnny."

"Oh my God," I said, for some reason immediately assuming catastrophe. With the way things had been going lately.

"No," Adrien laughed. Suddenly I couldn't remember the last time I'd heard him do that. "He's out of it. He's fine. Kate, he's awake."

In that moment, I was so happy I couldn't speak. It didn't matter because Adrien was still talking. "Look, I'll be there in five minutes to pick you up, okay?"

I managed an okay and hung up the phone.

I tried Manda and Yates but neither were answering. I left Manda a voicemail on my second attempt. Then I ran upstairs and changed my clothes, pulled my hair into a quick ponytail. By the time I got back downstairs, Adrien was pulling into the driveway.

We didn't talk much on the way there, both too racked with anticipation. Adrien at first was nothing but overjoyed. But as he drove I sensed his elation steadily transforming into a nervous tension. After all, car accident aside, the last thing that had gone down between Johnny and him was the fight.

I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, smoothing a section that was still wild from sleeping, at the same time hoping to offer the support he'd given me last night. He took my hand and squeezed it, to let me know he understood. But then he held on.

When we arrived at the hospital, we went straight up to Johnny's floor and then straight to his room without bothering to stop at the nurse's station. "You ready?" I asked Adrien as we were just outside of Johnny's door. Adrien didn't look ready, but he inhaled deeply and nodded. We stepped inside.

And there he was. Johnny. Sitting up in his bed, flipping through the channels on his television, making a face about the lack of selection. As if he hadn't spent the past week on the edge of death. He looked so amazingly fine. I wanted to cry. I might have a little.

He looked up when he heard us come in and turned the TV off. "Thank God," he grinned. "I was afraid you kids would show up with an entourage of Harringtons."

It hit me how much of our lives he had missed. I shook my head, finally smiling. "Johnny," I said, crossing the room and perching on the edge of his bed to hug him. He kissed my cheek as I did and replied, "Hey Beautiful."

And then I started in on him. "God, do you know who worried we've been about you? I've got half an idea to ban you from driving. Ever again, you moron. I was fine handling Scott on my own."

Johnny raised his eyebrows. I knew he was wondering if Adrien knew that whole story, but he just said, 'Hey, I'm just glad the crash didn't damage this beautiful face." I shook my head again.

We both had sort of realized now that Adrien still hadn't said anything, was, in fact, still standing in the doorway to Johnny's room. I looked back at him concerned. He had one hand at the back of his neck, looking half-dazed. When his eyes connected with mine, he snapped out of it and dropped the hand.

"Hey little brother," Johnny said, but even I couldn't read his tone.

"I'm glad—" Adrien's voice broke. He cleared his throat and started again. "I'm glad your okay," he managed. Then he added, "Johnny." He fidgeted with his hands. "I'll just let you guys—I'll just—" He was having a hard time finishing his sentences. So he gestured behind him, and then he followed his gesture out of the hospital room.

Johnny turned back to me once Adrien was gone and frowned. "What's wrong with him?"

"How long do you have?" I asked dryly.

"Readers Digest version. What's going on?" Sometimes I wished Adrien could witness the concern Johnny showed for him when he wasn't around.

"Well, for starters he just found out this morning that the girl he's been pursuing all summer is not quite the girl he thought she was. Also, his married sister slept with and ran off with the guy I basically stopped talking to him over. Oh, and above all his big brother, who's approval he desperately seeks maybe more than anything, has spent the past week in a coma, and all he can think about is the last thing he said to him was please leave my life." I shrugged. "I mean, under the circumstances, I'd say he's doing pretty good."

Johnny was smiling now and shaking his head. "God, I love that kid," he said, almost laughing.

I decided this was a prime life lesson moment. "Well, he certainly doesn't know it," I almost scolded.

Johnny's expression actually turned thoughtful. "So I almost died, huh?" he asked.

I nodded again.

"Kate. Tell him I want to talk to him."

I burst into a smile and immediately hoped off of the bed. "No matter how much you try to hide it, you are a stand up person, Johnny Mansfield."

"Shut up before I change my mind," he grumbled.

I rolled my eyes and headed for the door. But before I left Johnny stopped me. "Hey Kate," he said, "so what about him and you?"

It wasn't a question I wanted to think through just then, so I shrugged and answered honestly. Who knew.

I found Adrien down the hall a ways, sitting in the center of a row of plastic chair lined up against the wall. His head was leaning back against the wall and his eyes closed. For a moment I just looked at him there, wondering what he was doing. I sat down on the seat beside him, and then I softly said, "Hey."

He opened his eyes and rotated his head to face me and smiled faintly. "Hey," he said. "Sorry I kind of lost it in there. It's just," he shrugged, "weird. I don't really know how to approach this. I mean, probably I should give him some time, right?" His eyebrows were raised in a question.

I couldn't help but smile myself as I answered. "He wants to talk to you."

Adrien started, a look of surprise overtaking his face. "He wants…?"

"Adrien," I cut in, my tone reassuring. "Go talk to your brother."

He understood then that this was going to be a conversation he wanted to have. In fact, probably the conversation he wanted to have. He stood up. "Thank you, Kate," he said to me.

I nodded. "Hey, give me your phone," I said. He tossed it to me and he went.

A feeling was washing over me that I hadn't felt in longer than I could remember. I felt at peace. After Adrien left to talk to Johnny, I took a moment to myself. A moment to savor that feeling. Then I dialed Manda again.

This time she answered. "Adrien?"

"It's Kate."

"Kate. Wasn't ignoring you. I was just about to check my voicemail. So what's up?"

"Johnny's awake," I said.

"Oh my God!" Manda shrieked into the phone, and I was forced to it away from my ear a little. Then I could hear her relating the news to Yates and he was yelling something, then demanding the phone, and the next thing I knew I was talking to him.

"Kate?"

"Don." We could both practically hear the other grinning through the phone line.

"Tell the bugger I'm gonna kick the shit out of him for pulling a stunt like this."

"Tell him yourself," I laughed. Manda was talking energetically in the background.

"Right," Yates said. Then: "Here." And I was talking to Manda again.

"We'll be there as soon as we can," she said.

"Good," I said, and then rethought it. "Maybe not too quickly though," I added. "He's talking to Adrien."

Manda understood. "Not too quickly," she agreed. "But quickly."

And not too quickly but quickly they came. Ten minutes later the two of them were bursting down the hall. I stood to great them then led them to Johnny room, which quickly turned into a ruckus of exclamations and joking threats. In the general chaos, Adrien backed up to where I was standing and pulled me into a hug. I never found out from either side what was said to each other in that hospital room, but from then on things changed. I knew it that moment—from the way Adrien pulled me into him, the relief I felt in his body—that everything was going to be alright. We would all be fine.

A/N: So that there was the mega chapter. Next chapter, I'm sad to say, will also be the last chapter (which means you only have these two last chances left to review, lurkers and faithful reviewers alike! So please, review!) Anyways, I've been kind of thinking about my next project, and I've kind of got an inkling to try my hand at Persuasion because I just re-read the book, and also I like the whole ex-boyfriend angle. But I'm not set on it yet. I might also do something with Sense & Sensibility or I'm even considering working on a Cinderella spin-off-y fic. But what I really want is to hear what y'all think. So tell me what you think!!!

Rose Cotton: Everything will all work out! Because happy ending are the best endings. Only one more chapter to wait for it, too:o)

a: Of course Johnny will give them his blessing! Adrien too. ;o) Lol. Yeah, somebody needed to tell Adrien he has issues, because he so does. But soon, soon he will finally come to realize the truth, and then we can all celebrate.

bellatrix731: Hey, thanks for reviewing! I've actually both read Mansfield Park and watched the movie, and I kind of drew from both in writing this story. I'm glad you like it. And actually, I've never read a Harry Potter book. I'd like too… and I'm sure I'd probably love them if I read them (because everyone does). But there's just so…. many books now, I'm so far behind. It's kind of daunting to think about committing myself to reading them all. Lol.

Notredamegirlie: LOL. This whole story has been one big emotional debacle, huh? I'm hoping my next project can maybe be something a little lighter. We'll see. :o)

WhiteCamelia: And as always, thanks for your review! Hope you liked the mega chapter. :o)

Marshie12: Lol. I'm gonna try to get the final chapter up in a reasonable amount of time. Hopefully won't keep you waiting too long.

Rhapsody's Song: Lol. Well, I think Scott had his chance for redemption and kind of passed it by. Either way, he will get one last chance to say his piece in the final chapter. Hope you liked this one!

AliKitKat: Glad you liked the Yates/Kate part. I felt like they needed a random bonding moment. And Adrien and Jess needed a random bonding moment too. And hey, Johnny's awake now! Woot!

jayley: a much happier chapter, by the end of it at least :o)

lina: Thank you so much for your review! Generally I'm a first-person writer, but this was my first try at multiple view points, so it was kind of an experiment for me. And I'm really happy to hear it worked out. :o)

embracing: Drama is the best! And it never ends, not till the very last chapter. :o)

Elwen: Ah, I will totally have to have another Manda-Adrien conversation about Adrien figuring out he's in love with Kate. I hadn't even thought about it, but that is fantastic idea. Anyways, thanks for another loverly review. Hope you like the chapter!

Sniffs… where are shokolade & Captain Napalm?! Love to you both too. I have faith in your soon return.