Connor collapsed to the ground with a mournful wail, feeling like a petulant child. For gosh sake he was twenty years old and he was working himself into exhaustion, well more than usual, for even the smallest chance that he could get Kevin to notice him. Sweat beaded on his forehead unattractively. For not the first or last time he wished to give everything up in his life just for an air conditioned, hard floored, mirrored dance studio to practice in. The uneven ground and growing humidity were making it for terrible conditions to show even half the potential he knew he had. He could have made it if not... He shook his head clear and stood up unsteadily.

"Would you like some water Elder?"

Connor jumped at the sudden intrusion, glancing towards the exit to the shaded abandoned shack he had found at the edge of town.

"I'm sorry but Elder Church said you came here sometimes and everyone was worried about you"

"Oh well thank you Elder James! Just how long were you standing there?"

Elder James, or of course Steve, noticed the beginning of a blush as he averted his eyes. Poor Connor had always thought it was his fault for the 'ungodly thoughts' he had but anyone would fall for him after watching him perform. For he had after all.

"Long enough. You are a great dancer Elder, it's incredible"

Connor blushed a deeper red before standing up and beginning to stretch his tightened muscles. Gosh it had been a long time since he'd done this much exercise- let alone just to impress someone. His head swung rapidly to the left to lock eyes with Elder James who had his hand pressed against Connor's knee.

"Sorry Elder, your stretch isn't deep enough. You won't feel it properly" he murmured, applying pressure as Connor stared incredulously. This was unbelievable- his heart wasn't pounding, his palms weren't sweating. Yes- he was attractive, that was undeniable, but he felt nothing behind it.

"Thank you for the help but I think we should get back, Elder. The leader shouldn't be the one that has everyone worrying!"

Connor strode ahead of the other Elder, his mind whirring with a million thoughts. What did this mean? Did heavenly father heed his wish finally and take away these thoughts? Or maybe... he stopped abruptly as realisation hit him. He didn't want them taken away. He didn't want to be 'cured'. He wanted to be with Kevin. Closing his eyes, he sighed with contentment. Connor could finally admit that he was in love with Kevin, whether he had wanted to or not. His steps increased with renewed vigor, the excitement in him palpable as he neared the mission.

"Good evening everyone! Isn't it lovely!"

Connor glided into a room of stony faced Mormons, not exactly an unknown circumstance, as they all ate their plain dinner in unison. He hadn't seen this type of gloom since the day after the mission president had shut down their mission and killed all dreams of any one of them becoming the Mormon their families had hoped they would become. Even the ever full of life Elder Poptarts was staring at his place dejectedly. So many thoughts sprung to the forefront of poor Connor's mind but he couldn't think like this!

"What happened?"

They all looked up in unison, giving Connor chills as he was the star in the majorly scary horror film he'd demanded to watch with his parents, insisting he was a big boy. He had regretted the idea before the first murders had even happened, the suspense filled build up was more than enough for him. Safe to say parts of that movie still haunted him and even made an appearance in some of his darker dreams.

They all looked at him for a second, all numb in shock but Elder Church was the first to switch and give Connor a bright smile. "I'm so sorry Elder! We were so worried for you but then we starting panicking about eating dinner without you and-"

The other Elder's spread around the table nodded aggressively, each plastering on their practiced smiles. Connor had enough experience in his life in turning it off that he could see right past their charade but he couldn't call them out on it. The more he pushed, the more they would push back. Hiding secrets was an incredible well taught Mormon trait, he knew the best out of all of them. Connor sighed, deciding to drop the subject, he wasn't going to get anything apart from this incredibly creepy synchronised bunch.

"It's okay Elders! I'm not too hungry at the moment. You continue to enjoy your meals and I'm going to freshen up"

He breathed a sigh of relief as he left the room that felt heavy with both the elder's stares and the thick atmosphere that had engulfed all of them. Mormons were naturally seen as serious people but those he had gotten to know were anything but that. Only something life changing would make his happy, chatty Elders turn into... that.

"...doesn't make mistakes, just challenges"

Connor sighed happily, realising that Kevin seemed to be normal judging by his voice. Although he was definitely hurt by this yoyo'ing between them but he could always trust the other Elder. He knew that much.

"Oh Kevin, it's so lovely that you care so much for these... abominations. It just makes you all the more humble"

He cringed at her disgustingly high and sweet voice. Connor wasn't stupid, he had noticed the way they had all been over each other the last few weeks and he wasn't the largest fan of it. Of course, he could pull the leader card and get them to stop, he could see that the girl held a ridiculously high respect for him. He couldn't though. If Connor's behaviour hadn't been obviously enough recently, it soon would if he pulled that stunt.

"I have to. You know the type they are. Just as long as they can live a life as well. Still, the thought of homosexuality disgusts me. I just hide it very well"

Connor stumbled back, feeling as if a bullet had pierced straight through his heart. He knew it. He'd known it. All along, he was destined for hell. His dreams were true. This... Not again.