The possibility of Jane being gay was not a new concept to her. In fact, it is one she had been playing with for about a year now.
She always felt that her relationships with guys had been unfortunate, to say the least. She wasn't sure whether it was because they usually just wanted one thing or because she truly believed that weren't the world's most perceptive creatures, she never really felt that she was fulfilled by any of them. Although she still wasn't entirely convinced, there was a part of her that thought that girls were a little more sensitive and/or aware, and so she thought she might be better supported by one. Also, she felt that she had more to offer a girl. This idea though was rather romanticised and, whilst she'd dislike admitting it, she hadn't found that girl (or potentially boy) yet. She hadn't even found one that felt like it might be close, and that concerned her more than anything.
To tell the truth, she hadn't exactly found anyone that had come close and that scared her a little.

•••

The following week, on Wednesday, Jane and Miss Isles still hadn't really spoken since the incident. Despite having had a couple of lessons with her, not much had been said regarding the matter. In her class that day, it felt to Jane like she was actually being avoided. She watched Miss Isles walk around the class discussing things with other students, but she barely acknowledged Jane.

Fuck. Seriously? She directed to herself.
She couldn't help but wonder just how badly she might've screwed things up. And, not completely unfounded, her first thought was to blame herself.
She didn't say anything though, and felt rather silly drawing attention to herself if she didn't have a valid question to ask that was work related. So, she kept her head down and did her work, with the occasional conversation with Vince or Frost. Business as usual.

Although she was a little upset by the thought that the one person who had potentially taken a genuine interest in her was successfully scared off, she figured there wasn't really much she could do. So, she went on with her day and acted as if nothing was wrong, despite feeling remarkably stupid about all that had happened.

•••

"Good morning Jane," she said politely.

"Hi." Her voice was a little lower in pitch than usual. Immediately she noticed though and tried to hide it but deliberately making her voice sound cheerier and asking, "How are you?" She forced a smile, and wondered if it even looked real.

"I am quite well, thank you," She said with a smile. "How has your morning been?" Maura had considered returning the same question, but felt as if it might be rude or intrusive, so she opted for the safer alternative.

"Well, I had you for half of it," Jane said in a slightly sarcastic but mostly playful tone.

Miss Isles simply smiled. "Did you have any questions about the work completed or the homework that was set?" Her voice was professional, but also somewhat cautious. Some might even have considered it nervous.

Jane didn't take much notice though. "Ah, no, I think I'm okay." She said as she raised a hand to the back of her neck.

"That's very positive," she said with a smile. "As always, if you encounter any issues or if you do come across anything you have questions about, I am around."

Jane wanted to be mad, at least part of her did. Mad because she wanted to believe that whatever was going on in her head wasn't too much for someone to comprehend. But she found that she couldn't. Miss Isles was still so kind. So concerned, even if it was just at a professional level.
It wasn't the first time she'd felt like she was too much for anyone to handle, and she didn't really want to inflict herself upon anyone. Right now though, she was even distracted from that thought. Miss Isles was so nice. So kind. So caring. So, maybe she wasn't the one who'd understand, but she was still a valuable person. She still cared, she was still a good teacher and she still saw the truth (at least more of it) and Jane wanted to keep that.
In spite of all that, she simply nodded in acknowledgement of her teacher's offer. She was thankful, for whatever this might be.

"Is there anything you would particularly like to work on today?" She said, hands clasped on the desk in front of her.

"Um…" She had a quick look at her book, and found that there was nothing that she specifically needed help with. Biding her time, she flipped back and forth to make it seem like there was something she was considering. Eventually she had to stop though. "No, not really… Sorry," she said a little sadly.

"No need to be sorry," she considered. "Would you perhaps like to begin your homework then? You are welcome to use the space since you're already here." She smiled, kindly.

She let out an inaudible sigh, before nodding politely. She wanted to say, "that's not what I meant," but managed to refrain. With nothing else to do, and no real interest in delaying the inevitable, she began to pull out her textbook and begin her homework.

Miss Isles, too, organised some work for herself on her desk and got straight into it.

The two continued like this for a mere few minutes before an impulse inside of Jane took over.
"That's not what I meant," she practically blurted, with the slightest sense of frustration and sadness in her voice.

Miss Isles was temporarily taken back as she tried to connect it to something they had previously discussed. With the most apologetic look on her face she said, "I apologise, I'm afraid I don't quite understand." Her eye brows furrowed a little in confusion and intrigue. She wanted to understand, but now was concerned that her lack of social skills had truly failed her.

She let out a small sigh and shrugged a little. "I meant… I'm sorry."

Miss Isles was still confused. A grammatical issue seemed rather irrational to be upset about, yet she didn't have a better suited explanation.

It was clear to Jane that she was still confused, and felt it appropriate to elaborate, for better or for worse. She sighed once again. "Look, I shouldn't have done that," she said a little angrily. Who the anger was directed at though was somewhat unclear. "I'm sorry for… unloading on you." Jane was quite obviously stressed by the matter.

Immediately, the context was clear. Miss Isles just watched. She still didn't quite understand. She knew to what she was referring, but didn't necessarily think any of what Jane said qualified as "unloading". If anything, she herself was the instigator who had asked Jane those things. "Jane, please," she paused. "You needn't apologise for honesty." She didn't know how to proceed. "I asked you because I was concerned and wanted to better understand one of my students."

Students, the word hurt.

It hurt her a little too. "I asked because I cared." She felt so uncomfortable saying that allowed. "Honestly, I had thought I might have offended you by prying into your personal life," she said with great concern.

"No," she said quickly. "You didn't! I just… I'm not great at responding in those sorts of situations." She shrugged again. "I'm not exactly used to it, either," she relented. "I just thought… it seemed like you were avoiding me since then, and I didn't want to have screwed this up."

"Avoiding you?" She was certainly confused at this point. "Not at all." She rethought her response. "I may have been a little distant," she admitted, knowing that social etiquette wasn't her forte. "I wanted to be cautious and thought it best that, if were to discuss it again, it might be best done in a private setting so as to not put you under too much pressure."

Oh… Now she felt stupid. The two just looked at each other with a sense of acknowledgement, and more so understanding. In their own way, they were each thankful, too.

"If I may be quite forward, and please don't think of this as something you are obliged to do," she remarked formally, "Finding someone you are comfortable talking to can be quite a rarity. And so, if you happen to feel secure enough to open up to me when needed, I would like to be here." She paused. "It is something I think is important. After all," she said formally, trying to hide behind her proper composure, "I am a teacher." She smiled this unmistakably kind smile.

Jane smiled gratefully. "Thanks…" And she meant it.
"Why are you so nice to me?" She asked, not for the first time.

She recalled what she had said last time, but thought she might feel more comfortable if she supplied her reasoning. She pursed her lips slightly, preparing for the unfamiliar words that were about to be spoken. "As a young person, I would have appreciated someone looking out for me."

Jane knew better than to ask more questions. Instead she smiled small in understanding. Trying to lighten the mood she said, "Well… thank you." Ensuring that she wouldn't need to offer up more information about herself today.

Miss Isles smiled quite humbly, thankful that Jane hadn't asked for more.

It seemed perhaps they were both hiding things.

I truly hope you have enjoyed this chapter and would love to hear any feedback or comments you may have.
Please also feel free to make suggestions about events you would like to see unfurl in this story.
I truly do love feedback, though.

Thank you so very much for reading and for being patient.

Hope you are happy and well.