Notes: Poor Tony, lol.
Chapter 4: Unacceptable!
Tony paced the length of his workshop in agitation. His dark hair stuck up at odd angles from him running his fingers through it distractedly. Sketches for his newest project, the Mark 42 prehensile suit, lay unattended on the worktable. Pepper, who had been trying to ream him out for at least three hours for not having eaten anything all day, was also left unattended and sulking somewhere. That couldn't be good for their relationship – not that it wasn't a train wreck waiting to happen anyway. They both knew it wasn't working, but neither had the guts to say what needed to be said.
Finally, he snapped.
"Jarvis, this is fucking unacceptable." Tony said in a flat, calm tone.
"I am doing my best, Sir. I simply cannot find an opening in the firewall. This is most unusual." The AI replied, sounding exasperated if that was even possible. Tony let out a string of absolutely foul swearing and threw himself into his leather office chair.
After about half an hour of some 'serious' hacking attempts, he still only had a blank screen with the SHIELD logo and 'Access Denied' stamped across it in red lettering.
"Fuck's sake." Tony hissed and sat back in his chair staring at the screen in utter disgust. "No one, and I do mean no one stops me from hacking a goddamn database!"
"Sir, in most cultures talking to oneself is considered a sign of insanity." Jarvis commented.
"Less chat, more hacking!" Tony quipped as the phone rang. He rolled his eyes; he was 99.9% sure who was on the line.
"Director Fury is on line two, Sir." Jarvis announced.
"Take a message!" Tony nearly shouted and kicked the leg of his desk in frustration.
"My protocols are being overridden."
Tony shook his head and rested it on the desk with a sigh. Not a sigh of defeat mind you. It's on, bitches, he thought to himself as Fury spoke. How dare he override Jarvis.
How did he override Jarvis, actually?
"Stark, stop trying to hack into my motherfucking database." He spat.
"I have literally no idea what you're talking about." Tony replied and ended the call. "How the FUCK did he detect my IP? JESUS CHRIST! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!"
Eight hours earlier:
"Hey nerd squad! How's it going?" Tony called from the elevator when he arrived on the floor that he'd built into a lab for Bruce to work. He was there with Doctor Stephen Strange, pouring over heaps of sketches and surrounded by various holograms depicting the typical human nervous system. How they managed to work in such chaos was beyond him, even his workshop was neater than Bruce's lab at the moment and that was saying something.
"It's good to see you, Mr. Stark. I'd like to thank you, actually. This is a really intriguing concept, and I'm really looking forward to getting started!" Stephen said with a smile. He looked pretty much the way he always did, like a total eccentric, even if he was dressed in a completely normal casual suit. It must be that weird streak of white hair, Tony told himself.
"Awesome, so where are we at with that?" He asked.
"We're making good progress, but we're going to have to make some kind of a prototype and test it on something that isn't Hollie." Bruce explained. "Actually, I can't believe I'm really asking you to do this, but could hack into SHIELD's database and get her medical records? We're going to need them and Natasha was pretty adamant about them not knowing she's here."
"Yeah sure, hacking SHIELD's shit is a cakewalk." Tony said with a shrug. Well, maybe it used to be, but the last few times he'd had to give it some actual effort. They obviously had someone new that actually knew what they were doing coding their security programs.
"Shit just got real, Jarvis. Pull out the big guns – run the Drunken Monkey protocol." Tony snarled and held his head in hands. He tapped his foot impatiently on the floor and worked on repairing a damaged gauntlet as he waited for the firewall to finally collapse.
"Access is still denied, Sir." The AI replied after about fifteen minutes.
"Drunken Monkey?" Tony heard a familiar voice ask just as he absolutely lost it and fired a repulsor beam from the gauntlet he was working on straight through the projection of the SHIELD database home screen. It left a smoldering hole in the wall.
"You don't want to know; I was being a real dick when I came up with that one." Tony said, turning to Natasha who was standing in the doorway to his workshop. At least he didn't have to be freaked out by that; she had clearance. "Fuck, Tasha, who the hell have they got on security? No one beats me at this shit. No one." Tony whined.
"Ask Hollie, she designed the firewalls Fury's using now. She wasn't just a hitwoman, you know. When the Mafia needed to hack into secure government files to make sure something that's dead and buried stays dead and buried, she did the dirty work. Though, you might want to have some kind of a peace offering, because she can't stand you. I didn't know until now that she called to rip you a new hole a hundred and one times for hacking our servers. Hmm. She's not at all thrilled to be in your debt." Natasha said thoughtfully. Tony raised his eyebrows and burst out laughing.
"Oh fuck me, that was her? That's... probably going to get me killed. Anyway, fine. It's not like I have a choice." Tony grumbled.
"Admitting defeat, Tony?"
"Just shut up."
Hollie bitterly stared at the plain white ceiling above her. She'd been moved into a regular guest bedroom in Stark's penthouse, mainly because of it being the highest security area in the Tower aside from his workshop. The TV was playing a Twilight Zone marathon – Apparently it was New Year's day. Much more of this and she'd lose it. Thank God she had not a shred of shame, or this would be even worse, if at all possible. If only she could just pick up the damned remote. Hollie glanced at it longingly and sighed.
She was aware of the arc reactor implanted in her chest, but couldn't feel or see it since she wasn't able to sit up. Perhaps that was a blessing. Bruce had held up a mirror for her so she could at least see it, and she was sure she would be in mindless pain if she were capable of feeling anything. Hollie could hear a soft humming sound coming from it if it was quiet enough, and see its faint blue glow the dark. Oddly, it didn't really bother her. If anything, it fascinated her. Hollie was an expert hacker, and through that line of work she developed a deep appreciation for well-made tech. And who was she to complain if the contraption could get her back on her feet? Running from the Mafia is pretty hard when one can't literally run.
At least the room was nice. The modern décor was very tasteful and there was a breathtaking view of Manhattan through the massive windows that surrounded the entire room, aside from the wall separating it from the rest of the penthouse. The TV, in fact, was a projection built into the glass of the window directly in front of the bed. She grudgingly had to admit that it was pretty impressive.
Still, she'd give just about anything to just change the damn channel!
"Fuck my life." She muttered and closed her eyes as someone knocked on the door.
"Hey, hope you're decent! I guess you would be since you can't exactly debauch yourself in the state you're in, right?" Stark. Again. Ugh. He, of course, let himself in. For the most part, he'd kept his distance, which was fine with Hollie. She didn't hate Stark, he just annoyed the living shit out of her, and she was nearly positive he was doing it on purpose. Though, most of the reason for her miniscule amount of patience where he was concerned could be attributed to her distinct lack of a sense of humor.
"Out." Hollie snapped.
"So, I was thinking that you must be bored out of you mind and -"
"Out. Get. Out."
"I decided to load Jarvis into this room since it's already outfitted with projectors and audio sensors. This way you've got the internet, TV, music, porn... whatever. The system is entirely voice operated to make access easier for you. Just be nice, Jarvis hates criticism." Tony continued, ignoring Hollie entirely.
"A reflection of my creator, surely." The AI replied.
"Don't sass me, Jarv. Anyway, if you need anything – literally anything, that includes booty calls, Jarvis will either do it for you, or get one of us to." Tony said and gave Hollie a shit eating grin.
"Leave me alone." She said flatly.
"You're welcome! Now how the flying fuck do I get through your firewall? Because Bruce needs your medical records to fix you, and SHIELD can't know you're here right now." That got Hollie's attention and her lips twitched into a smirk.
"I finally beat you." She said somewhat proudly.
"For now. I'll get through it eventually, but my girlfriend will probably murder me if I spend another eight hours swearing at my AI instead of having sex with her." Tony said, laughing.
"You have a girlfriend? That poor woman. Siete antipatici. (You are obnoxious)." Hollie muttered.
"I know I'm obnoxious. I like me that way. Anyway, I'm trying to help you, so drop me a damn line would you, Buttercup?" Tony said in exasperation.
"Never call me that again. The administrator password is 'magPie221', the override code is 12414649. That will give you anonymous access. If an IP is somehow detected, it'll show Director Fury as the one logged in, with the time stamp being the last time he legitimately accessed the mainframe." Hollie told him irritably. If it bothered her that Tony understood her complaining about him in Italian, she made no indication.
"Holy shit. You're a genius." Tony said appreciatively.
"I know. I am no engineer, but no computer is safe from me." She said and grinned wolfishly. "Now get the hell out."
"What is your problem with me, exactly?" Tony asked, finally getting annoyed with Hollie's attitude.
"Do you recall that time you got caught snooping in SHIELD's weapons development files?" Hollie asked bitterly.
"Uh, which time do you mean?" Hollie rolled her eyes. He had a point.
"The time you were slightly intoxicated and called me a cunt. There's also the time after that when you accused me of being a fat virgin nerd who is actually a man, and stated that I live in my mother's basement." Hollie said, glaring daggers at Tony who winced a little bit as the memories flashed through his mind. "You may want to be proud of yourself, Stark. The only other man who had the balls to call me 'cunt' is dead, and no one will ever find his corpse. Which, I might add, is missing his most valuable 'assets'."
"Yeah. Sorry about that. I'll just uh. ...I'll go now." Tony said with a sheepish smile and slunk out of the room.
"Jarvis?" Hollie said experimentally when Tony left. "Fox News please."
"Very well, Ms. Steel." The AI replied and the TV switched to the news. She hated to admit it, but Stark's AI was pretty awesome.
"One other thing, Jarvis. I want you to access SHIELD's weapons development server. Password: 'eDen471-A', remote access override code: 67894523-3461." Hollie said to the AI, as she did a hologram screen popped up in front of her showing the file directory.
"Access has been granted, Ms. Steel." Jarvis confirmed.
"Download copies of all the files from the 'storage' directory, and send it to Stark on a secure server. Tell him: Il mio debito è pagato; buon Natale tardivo. (My debt is paid; merry belated Christmas.)" Hollie commanded with a mischievous smile.