Evan was everything. Evan was funny, famous, sexy, and smart. He had everything and he was perfect.

Jonathan hated it. Because he felt like he was getting further away than he used to be and that wasn't the friend he once knew. He let himself get frustrated over it and for the first time in all the years they'd been playing together, he snapped.

Evan was complaining about something trivial and Jonathan was tired. "There's going to be so many people at this party. I don't even know if it's worth it, dude."

Jonathan rubbed his eyes and sighed loudly, "If it's that big of a deal, cancel the fucking party and just do nothing for New Year's. You don't HAVE to party. You don't have to be a typical dude and throw parties all the fucking time and get white boy wasted."

There was silence and he almost regretted saying it all, but then Evan huffed and said. "What's up with you?"

"Me? Nothing, I'm just kind of missing how me and you used to be."

Evan hesitated. "What do you mean?"

Jonathan shrugged to himself. "Have you heard yourself this past year? All you talk about is parties, girls, and yourself. It's not you. All we used to sit and talk about was music, and games, and the world. You're not who you used to be, Evan."

"Are you serious right now?" Evan asked and Jonathan heard the anger in his voice. It made him sick.

"Dead serious."

"Delirious, I finally get to the point I've always wanted to be at and now you're not happy with it? And why does it matter? It's my life." Evan was just sitting there in disbelief. Delirious had never had an issue with him. Ever. It made his face heat and his heart hurt.

"Evan, I'm happy for you. Really. But you're just not the same Evan that I f - " Delirious caught his tongue. "That I got to know all those years ago."

Evan shook his head. "I don't fucking understand. We still talk all the time, about everything."

"No we don't. You don't notice it. But I do."

"So that's it? You're mad at me for changing?" Evan voice rose.

Jonathan almost pulled his hair out. "Yes! You're different and you grew this fucking ego that I can't even describe!"

"That's bullshit!" Evan yelled back.

"You have never ditched me for your own gain before, Evan! You started doing it months ago and you obviously don't fucking care because you didn't even apologize!" Jonathan took a breath and everything that was on his shoulders doubled in weight and he wanted to cry. "You didn't even realize you did it!"

"I - no I didn't, Delirious! I've never left you! Why would I do that?"

Jonathan slammed his fists on the desk. "Because you had a fucking date and a party to host! That's why, you fucking asshole."

Silence rang out and it finally hit him how ridiculous he sounded and how jealous he seemed and it didn't register with either of them that they were still in the call with everyone else. Not until Marcel cleared his throat.

But Evan ignored them, "Why don't you turn that god damn camera on and say that to my face, you dick."

His voice was low and menacing and he blinked back the hot angry tears when Jonathan left the call abruptly. He threw his headphones off and stood. He paced, ignoring the guys trying to talk to him on the laptop.

He thought hard about what Delirious had said and he wasn't wrong. He had dropped out of his game to meet with a girl and start a party one time and he never once thought about what Jonathan felt.

There was a sudden banging at his door and he whipped his head around and stared, waiting for it to stop. He stormed over when it didn't and slung the door open to find a guy looking him dead in the eye.

Evan backed away when he pointed straight at his chest and said, "That's why, you fucking asshole."

Jonathan watched Evan's eyes go wide, watched his mouth hang open while he searched for words. "You - how?"

He rolled his eyes. "I live here, Evan."

"Since when?!"

He stepped past him into the apartment, glancing at him sideways as he moved. "Today makes an entire month. You would've known that if you had stayed in those games with me. I told everyone, but you were never around. Or if we did talk, you had better things to complain about so why would I interrupt you? I'm not a dick, Evan."

"Really? Because you're being one." Evan shut his door and crossed his arms, still staring at his broad shoulders, not entirely believing that any of this was real or happening.

Jonathan spun. "I'm being one because I care! I'm trying to let you know that you aren't the same person anymore, Evan! Change is fine, but this is not a good change! You're . . . selfish and you are slowly leaving me behind! I thought we were best friends!"

"We are!" Evan was so confused and flustered because Jonathan's eyes were so bright and there was a flame burning behind them. He couldn't look away. His face was so kind yet worried and pleading.

"Then where are you? Where have you been? Because you haven't been there for ME!" Jonathan clenched his jaw to keep his lip from trembling.

Evan was dumbfounded, standing there staring at him trying to stop breathing so fucking hard.

"Don't you get it, Evan?" Jonathan's voice gave just a little and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. "I miss you."

Evan curled his fingers into his palms and fought back the wave of emotion that fell over him. "Delirious -"

"No!" The tears escaped and he brushed them away. "You are my best friend and I want you back the way you were before I stopped being yours."

Evan felt the ache in his chest and he rubbed his lips together before he took a small hesitant step forward toward the man he'd always held close, but neglected unintentionally. The heaviness of the situation settled in and it hit him hard that Delirious had been right there, so close, for an entire month and he hadn't known because he was too busy with himself.

Evan tried to say he was sorry but he couldn't breathe properly and simply shook his head before he teared up. But Delirious was there with an outstretched hand and Evan took it until they were locked in an embrace that he never thought he'd feel. It was wishful thinking he had thought about for so long he forced himself to stop long ago.

"Jonathan-" He tried but his voice broke and he wrapped him up tighter. The weight of it all got lighter the longer they stood there. Small sniffles echoed in the apartment and neither one would let go. Not until they heard a cautious voice that sounded really far away.

"You guys still alive or did you kill each other?" Tyler asked and Delirious was the first to laugh. He pulled away and wiped at his face.

Evan let his hands fall away, "I'm sorry and you don't have to forgive me for being an asshole. Because I have been and I never meant to leave you in the dark like that. You're right about me. I've changed and I don't like it. I'm not happy with myself and I think it's because I haven't been spending as much time with you." Evan chuckled. "You have a very dramatic effect on my behavior and I suppose since time has been scarce between us, it's made my attitude change. I'm sorry. If I had known you were here I would have been in your business so much you'd probably be annoyed with me. Because I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. You, this close to me. You're still my best friend, Delirious. That's not going to change."

Jonathan smiled and it was Evan's undoing. The feelings he knew he had for him before, came forward and multiplied the longer he stared at his face. His face that was strong, a jaw line that had him weak, studs in his ears that flickered in the light.

Evan got himself together and pulled his phone out, sending out a mass text.

"What are you doing?"

Evan looked up and smirked, "Cancelling the party. It's just me and you tonight, is that alright?"

Jonathan rubbed at his neck and nodded, "Yeah, that would be awesome."

"It's done. So what do you wanna do? Just me and you, we can do whatever you want." Evan crammed his hands in his pockets and smiled.

"You guys need to fuck and get it over with!" Nogla yelled over the small speaker on the computer and Evan rolled his eyes. He walked over and double checked to make sure the camera was still off so they wouldn't see Delirious and he pulled his mic closer.

"Guys, we'll talk to you later. I'm sorry if I've been different lately or a dick in any way. But, um, I love you guys and I appreciate every one of you. Have a Happy New Year."

"Dick is your middle name, remember?" Lui laughed and it lightened the mood. "You two have fun and Happy New Year."

Evan shut his set-up down and turned back to the guy that drove him mad sometimes, but he was the guy he didn't want anyone else to have. He felt like a moron for almost letting him slip away like that. So easily, he had got caught up in himself. But he'd try his best not to do it again. How could he, though, with Delirious so near now?

Evan smiled and ran his hand through Jonathan's hair, messing it up before he hugged him again.

"Can we play something?" Jonathan asked hopefully when they pulled apart. "It's been forever."

"Yeah." Evan grinned knowingly. "Far Cry?"

Jonathan broke into a smile. "Far Cry."

He ran into the elevator and rode up two floors to his apartment to grab his computer and headphones and then he was getting comfortable next to Evan on the couch as they set up the game.

It was the first time they'd been able to witness each other's laugh in person as they blew each other up and went on wild adventures.

Evan caught himself staring over at him every time he'd throw his head back and laugh whole heartedly and clutch his stomach until he couldn't breathe. It was adorable and by the time midnight grew closer they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. They could feel the vibrations of each other's voice as they spoke.

"Hey, it's almost midnight. You want a drink?" Evan pushed himself from the couch and headed into his kitchen and fetched two glasses before Delirious even gave him an answer.

He looked back to find the man watching him with a far off look that he shook himself from quickly. He gave a small nod. "Sure."

So, Evan mixed them up something that tasted like coffee and chocolate and guided him out onto the balcony where they leaned against the railing and watched the festivities going on below.

Jonathan got quiet and for a moment he seemed nervous. Evan caught on to the way he rubbed at the water on the glass as it formed and dripped down to the street below. He saw the movement of the apple on his throat as he swallowed down whatever he was feeling. Whatever he was holding back.

"Why didn't you just come down and knock on my door?" Evan nudged him lightly, but it didn't relax Jonathan like he hoped. He was still stuck in his thoughts and worrying about something.

"Honestly?"

Evan nodded. "Yeah."

"I was terrified." Jonathan shook his head. "Trust me, I've been trying to talk myself into doing it ever since I moved in. But I couldn't. Every time I saw you around, you were with someone. I didn't want to get in your way. Scared of what you'd think of me."

Evan huffed and small laugh of disbelief. "I would have dropped everything for you, if you had just said something. But . . . I guess you tried, didn't you? I just wasn't listening."

Jonathan glanced at him sideways and gave him a despondent grin. "It's okay, Evan. I just don't want you to turn into someone that you'll hate."

Evan crinkled his brow. He was more than a little exasperated with himself. "I don't want to turn into someone that you hate."

Delirious smiled, "I don't think I could ever hate you. Not when I lo-"

There was a loud crack that resonated in the cold California air and it shocked both of them. Their heads snapped up and their eyes locked onto the bright purple trails of sparks that ran across the sky. Shouts rang out below and Evan looked down at his watch.

"Happy New Year, Delirious."

But Delirious didn't move. His eyes never strayed from the sight above as the fireworks continued to burst across the sky.

"I've never seen fireworks before." Jonathan muttered so softly that Evan almost didn't hear him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's weird, I know. I'm twenty-eight and I've never seen fireworks with my own eyes." He laughed gently. "I lived in such a small town that couldn't afford an annual firework show. We just had Roman candles, bottle rockets, sparklers, and smoke bombs. But this . . . this is so beautiful."

(Listen to Dabin - Hold [ft. Daniela Andrade])

Evan chewed at his lip and thought for a moment before he dashed back inside while Jonathan was in a daze. He returned with two sets of headphones and his phone.

"I just finished another song. I want you to listen and tell me what you think." Evan waited until they both had their headphones on to press play and when he did, his entire world faded.

Jonathan fell into a state of mind he couldn't quite describe, but it was the most serene feeling he'd ever experienced. It made him hurt because it was Evan's doing. Always Evan.

The Asian looked over and witnessed the colors dancing on Jonathan's face as he stared up above. Then he watched the smile spread across his face and he closed his eyes.

He was fascinating. His lips were sharp and soft. His nose as straight as his jaw line. He was alluring and Evan was enraptured so quickly and intensely that he didn't realize that Jonathan was looking at him.

They both felt it as the music flowed through them. They felt that pull, the one that always had them tied together by an invisible string. The delicate thread that led them to each other first whenever they started a game.

It was pulling them together now while the colors bounced off their skin and the sounds echoed off the building. It set their hearts into an unsteady rhythm. Their bodies slid closer, their heads tilting and just before their lips touched, Evan stopped.

He pulled his headphones off and pushed Jonathan's down to his neck and he wondered, "What were you going to say before the fireworks stopped you?"

The man blinked and his eyes cleared. "I was going to say that I could never hate you. Not when I love you so fucking much."

That was all Evan needed to hear and he closed the last few inches between them. His lips were just as soft and pliant as they looked. Red, wet, and feverish against his own.

Evan slipped his hand along his face to cup his jaw and Jonathan pulled away with a hiss. He snorted on a laugh. "Your hands are so fucking cold."

Evan chuckled warmly, "I'm sorry. How about some hot cocoa then, or apple cider? Then we can get back to this. Your nose is a little red."

Jonathan grinned sheepishly and nodded, "Yeah, I can't feel it. Hot chocolate sounds amazing right now. I mean, your mouth sounds even better, but I'd rather kiss you when I'm hot rather than kiss you when I'm cold. I mean, I'd kiss you whenever-"

Evan pressed their lips together again quickly to shut his nervously rambling up. He pulled back with a grin, "I get it."

They ended up kissing while they were both hot, full of cocoa, filling the room with laughter as they played more games into the early morning hours.

Jonathan rolled over in the warm blanket they were wrapped up in on Evan's couch when the sun woke him up around noon. He smiled down at him, "You're so warm."

"Mm." Evan mumbled into the pillows.

Jonathan ran his fingers up his neck. "And soft."

Evan cracked an eye open.

"You know what that makes you?" Jonathan rubbed his lips together but couldn't stop the giggle from coming out when Evan shook his head and squinted his eyes.

"Don't say it."

He bit at his lip, "Teddy bear."

"Nooooo!"