i changed my penname. :]]]. i'm not sure i'm supposed to feel this. . . sentimental(?) about it.

i wish i could do the art. i would draw so much for this story. -sobs grossly.-

stick around for a sneak peek of the next chapter. bonus points to anyone who can guess the characters the interaction is taking place between.

Disclaimer.: I don't own The Mortal Instruments.

Jace had never been more determined in his life. Not during a soccer game, not when they first got Chaton and he was trying to get the kitten (at the time) to like him, and not when he was hell-bent on escaping Sebastian when he insisted they hang out after school together on numerous occasions. Right now, he was determined more than anything not to let this ruin their friendship. He knew very well he didn't exactly thrive in social situations. He was blunt, he was inconsiderate and oblivious of other people's feelings, and he was a pompous jerk. He knew all that about himself rather well. Jace understood that this didn't make him the most approachable of people, and it was why most avoided his path as much as they possibly could. But for one reason or another, Clary chose to overlook those facts and befriend him. For the longest time, years in fact, he couldn't wrap his head around her reasoning. But now he understood completely. And part of him wished he could just go back to being oblivious.

He remembered it so clearly. The day Clary first approached him. She had been watching him in the rain, which would have been creepy if she were maybe older, and if her expression wasn't utterly awestruck. Jace had come to recognize the expression on someone rather well when they watched him play. He was a prodigy. He knew he was, and everyone else would soon come to learn this as well. He had been annoyed and pissy with her at first. Unwilling to participate in any conversation Clary attempted to strike up, and ignoring her existence for the most part. But she was stubborn. Too stubborn for her own good he figured. And as the days wore on, and she only grew more persistent, he eventually relented and began to warm up to her, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Nobody wanted to talk to him about it. For the longest time after the words fell from Will's mouth, no one would even spare Jace a quick glance. Tessa and Isabelle were positively fuming though, and while Tessa was more mild-mannered, Isabelle wasn't afraid to show outraged she was. Simon appeared to be highly irritated with Jace's cousin as well. At some point, after another wise-crack from Will, Tessa had dragged her boyfriend into the kitchen, Jem following after them quickly, mumbling something about her temper, and not wanting things to get too out of hand. Naturally, everybody did the polite thing and pretended to not hear her shrieking, screaming, and raving furiously at Will. When they returned a couple long minutes later, Will had an angry red mark on his face, and Jace took note of how it resembled a hand-print. Nobody commented on it, even though he was sure they all saw.

Jace, for the first time in his life, had to make a concious effort not to stare at someone. Clary emerged from the bedroom down the hall with Sebastian at her side, and his eyes couldn't be forced to look anywhere else. They walked with their shoulders touching while Clary waved her hands wildly in the air to express herself as she spoke animatedly about something he was too far to hear. Sebastian laughed, and nudged her in the side with his elbow. She laughed as well, and in return she gave him a light shove. When Clary caught sight of Jace looking at her, she flushed slightly, but her whole being seemed to light up as she smiled hesitantly at him. Oh god. DId he usually smile back when she smiled at him? He couldn't remember, but he also didn't force it, not wanting to make things more awkward than they needed to be.

As she left Sebastian's side, she made her way towards him, and he tensed up when she greeted him.

"I thought I heard yelling a little earlier, though it was a bit muffled," Clary remarked casually, a goofy smile on her face. "What happened? Not picking another fight with your cousin again, specifically when I'm not here?"

Jace rolled his eyes slightly. He folded his arms across his chest. "I wasn't picking a fight with anybody."

"Then what happened?" Clary pressed, gazing up at him imploringly.

Jace's eyes didn't meet hers. He pointedly stared at the spot on the wall above her head. He wasn't a liar. A jerk, an asshole, an absolute idiot. All those things described him perfectly. But he wasn't a liar, and he wouldn't start being one now. Lying by omission? He wasn't exactly opposed to the idea, because to him, it technically wasn't lying.

"Will was being Will," Jace murmured glaring at his feet, "Everybody's a little upset. Tessa snapped and went off him. Even his girlfriend can't stand him."

"Oh, come on Jace," Clary smiled widely at him, and he frowned slightly. "Everyone in a relationship squabbles every once in a while, whether it be completely platonic or romantic. It's because if everything is perfect, they'd get tired. Most of the time though, it's nothing major, and both parties get over it fairly quickly. It's only natural that everyone fights."

"You and I don't fight," Jace pointed out.

Clary blinked, her small smile falling slightly because she hadn't expected him to say something like that. But it returned just as fast as it disappeared. "Yeah, but we butt heads a lot," Clary stated, giving him a pointed look, though she appeared fully amused. "It's not too often that we agree with each other on anything, you must have noticed. But neither of us are instigators. You just like to drop things when you don't want to talk about them for the most part, which is really annoying, mind you, but I also don't go making a mountain out of a mole hill."

"Mountain out of a mole hill. . .?" Jace repeated her words, though his voice carried a questioning note.

"It means that I don't blow things out of proportion like some more melodramatic people might." Her eyes flickered to Isabelle before they flicked right back. "And I don't try to pick fights."

Jace nodded his head in understanding, and dropped the conversation. He wasn't really in the mood to humor Clary with her small talk. The girl in question seemed to notice his lack of more to say on the subject, and that he just didn't seem to be willing to speak, because she remained unusually quiet standing in front of him.

Clary was his closest friend. His most trusted friend. The only person he really considered to be an actual friend. He wasn't going to turn his back on her because of what he had found out. But did everybody honestly expect him to play dumb and act like he didn't know anything? Jace couldn't do that to her. She deserved better than that. He was going to make things work between her because he cared about her. A lot more than anyone probably thought he did. A lot more than he initially though he would.

He grasped her gently by the arm, and she tilted her head up curiously. "Jace-?"

He swallowed nervously. "Listen, Clarissa-".

"I am showered, and refreshed, and judging by the eerie silence, hushed whispers, tension, and off-putting atmosphere in this room, I am going to say that I chose the wrong time to stage my grand entrance," Jonathan announced, cutting him off. Jace swore under his breath as Clary turned his attention to her brother. His voice had started out strong and confident toward the top of the stairs, but as he continued his journey down, it grew softer upon realizing how awkward and quiet everyone was acting. "Did something happen while I was gone?"

"Nothing!" Everyone chorused all at once with the exception of Clary and Sebastion. Panicked-stricken eyes met, before they all winced simultaneously, realizing that their exclamation was too loud and quickly announced to be convincing. The only three oblivious teens in the room shared a look of bewilderment.

"I don't really appreciate being kept in the dark on certain matters, and I would appreciate it if someone told me what was going on right now." Jonathan huffed much like an immature child, and crossed his arms over his chest.

Isabelle rolled her eyes at his antics. Jace could see just how irritated she still was from the day's earlier events. "You are kept in the dark so much in regards to so many things, hell, half the time you don't even know you're in the dark. It just goes to show you how ignorant you are to the world and people around you."

"Though it is a rather endearing quality," Magnus piped up, trying to make the flustered boy feel better about the situation. Next to him was Alec slouched on the couch, who snorted at Magnus' comment. Magnus turned to him sharply, and slapped him lightly against his shoulder. Alec snorted again, this time louder.

"Anyway," Simon interjected, pushing his glasses up his nose. "We were just talking about how we wanted to play Secret Santa." He blinked at his word choice. "Well, we are going to play." Simon pulled out a brown paper bag from behind his back, and waved it around in the air, the contents inside rustling noisily within. "We can explain the rules to Seb, Jon, and Clary later."

"Play Secret Santa? You want us to play Secret Santa?" Clary repeated dubiously. "How do you even play Secret Santa, it's not like it's a game. And why are there rules?"

"We got bored," Will said, a lazy smirk crossing his lips, though Jace could see that he still looked visibly disgruntled and upset. "And some of us got carried away.

"I'd say some of us got more than a bit carried away," Tessa spoke icily. Her cold grey eyes shifted to Will who purposefully avoided her gaze by angling his head in the opposite direction.

"Trouble in paradise?" Jonathan questioned. He had since moved from the stairs to stand beside Sebastian who was leaning against the wall next to the staircase. He ran his hand through his hair, pushing the sopping wet strands away from his face. "And, now that I'm looking a bit closer, who the hell beat you up Will?"

"My abusive girlfriend did," Will spoke wryly, still avoiding Tessa's eyes. "But I'm not going to leave her because it was only an accident, and she swore she would never do it again, and she said she would even buy me flowers to make up for it. I trust and believe her, because I am a devoted boyfriend, and I could never break up with her, because we love each other."

"Is that your twisted way of making fun domestic violence?" Tessa spoke haughtily through gritted teeth. "Because it's not very funny and definitely made in poor taste."

"I never said it was funny!" Will exclaimed in outrage, all traces of amusement gone from his face now. "I'm the victim here! You hit me!"

"Just shut your face before I really do make you a domestic violence victim and give you something to really cry about."

"I'm sorry I asked," Jonathan murmured.

"Alright then," Simon cut in hastily, scrambling to his feet as he had previously been seated on the floor in front of the coffee table. "Let's get started before Tess follows through on her promises." He approached Jace first and thrust the bag out to him. "Go ahead Mr. Moody and Brooding. On a completely unrelated note, I have spent years trying to come up with an amazing and unique nickname for you, and I think I have finally come up with a good one. Moving on though, you have the highly esteemed honor of picking first."

Jace stared down at the brown paper bag in disdain. "I don't even want to play your dumb ass game."

"Who knows, Jace. Maybe you'll luck out and get Clary. That'd probably be the best person for you to get, what with all the rules in place, and the consequences that follow."

Jace eyed Simon, and Simon quirked a challenging brow. He shoved his hand into the bag and snatched up the first slip of paper that brushed against the tips of his fingers. He looked at it, his eyes narrowing before he began grumbling under his breath. Clary caught something along the lines of "Of course I picked the idiot. Of freaking course."

"Your turn Clary." Her geeky best friend winked cheekily, which she returned with an amused smile.

Clary dipped her hand in, and wiggled her fingers around thoughtfully in the bag, feeling all the papers that came in contact with her skin. Finally she settled on a slip and retracted her hand. She carefully unfolded the paper and read the name on the paper. Clary furrowed her brow and blinked.

Sebastian must have pulled someone who he deemed easy because he became giddy and began exclaiming, "Oh, I've definitely got this. No way I can lose in this bogus game of yours!" Jon looked utterly lost as he stared down at the name he picked, as if he wasn't quite sure what to think of it. Isabelle made a point of scoffing loudly after she picked her person. Tessa's reaction was to hum thoughtfully. Will seemed contemplative with his choice, but after a minute he let out a loud, genuine laugh, excitement dancing across his features. By the way his whole being seemed to light up in matter of seconds, Clary figured that he had a good idea in mind. Jem gave nothing away with an expression that remained completely neutral. Alec appeared momentarily frazzled and flustered as he read the name he had selected, before he calmed down and reigned himself in quickly. Magnus smiled contently as he locked eyes with her, and flashed Clary a wink, coming off as completely pleased.

Simon was the last one to pick. He made a dramatic show of tipping the bag over, and letting the last remaining slip of paper fall into his palm. He unfolded it and read it carefully. He rolled his eyes, his face caught between a grimace and a grin, as if he were both pained and amused by his selection. "Why am I not surprised at all?"

Clary laughed breathily as they looked at one another, figuring she already knew who he had been saddled with. She once again read the slip of paper in her own hand. She could make it work, she mused.

"Jonathan Christopher Herondale," Magnus said suddenly, rising to his feet. "A rather pressing matter has been brought to my attention, one that I cannot simply overlook or ignore."

Clary glanced curiously at Jace in an attempt to see if she could tell if he knew what their melodramatic friend was talking about. He didn't as he regarded Magnus with an expression of confusion. When the other boy took a step forward so that he was only a foot away from Jace, Clary didn't miss the way Jace practically shrunk back as if he were afraid of Magnus approaching him. His eyes met hers, and he straightened quickly just as Magnus rested a firm hand on his shoulder. Jace brushed it off as soon as it came in contact with his body and Magnus shrugged at him.

"There is a complete lack of Christmas decorations in this household, and this situation honestly offends me on a personal level. Hell, you don't even have a Christmas tree yet." Magnus made a broad sweeping gesture with his arm as if to express his point. Nobody had noticed the missing festive décor until Magnus brought it up. All at once they glanced around the bare living room, making small noises and sharing looks, almost as if it had been rehearsed. "My Christmas tree was up and ready for the holiday season as soon as Thanksgiving was over. Now tell me, why is this? And do go spouting off crap like you don't celebrate the holiday. I know you do, because your parents are throwing a Christmas party on Christmas Eve."

"My mom never got around to it this year I guess. I mean, there are still a couple weeks left, right?" Jace replied nonchalantly. He turned his back to Magnus and rolled his shoulders. "I'm tired, I'm going to take a nap. If it's anything to you, our Christmas tree was supposed to be delivered today, but I doubt that'll happen in this weather. Anyway, see you later. Don't bother me. If you come across Chaton, leave him alone too."

"Before you go though, Herondale, tell me something. Where do you store your decorations? This house needs me desperately, and I can't stand by and let it suffer any longer. Decorating is my greatest passion. I promise I will do your parents proud."

"In the garage, where else? Are you done now, can I please go?"

"Yeah, yeah, you big old buzzkill. Do us all a favor and get lost."

Jace hummed, pleased that they had all decided to stop holding him against his will. However, just as he began to ascend the first step, he stilled, his hand resting against the banister. 'Clarissa. . .' He turned his head slightly, so as not to be obvious as he stared at the girl. The redhead in question was distracted, talking to Jem about something. The two seemed rather cozy. Jem was leaning forward into her personal space, a crooked grin on his face and his arms folded across his chest. Clary was smiling up at him, and her hand was wrapped around his exposed, pale forearm. The scene irked him more than he would care to admit.

He still wasn't sure what to do with his newfound knowledge. Beforehand, would he have asked her to accompany him? If he did now, would the others think he was only leading her on? Would Clary interpret his offer as him wanting to spend more time with her because he viewed her in a romantic light? But Jace didn't want to be alone, now that he had finally found someone that he enjoyed the company of. He genuinely enjoyed having Clary around him, but he didn't want to make things awkward. Maybe it would just be easier to tell her that he was aware of her crush on him. But what. . . what if Clary stopped talking to him completely afterward? What if she was just so overcome with the shame and embarrassment because of his rejection and she cut him out of her life altogether?

He didn't peg her as that sort of person, but one couldn't be sure when matters of the heart and unrequited love were involved.

Though, was her love truly all that unrequited? Jace was left to wonder. He was once struck with the thought of how much Clary resembled his mother, the similarities shining through in their brilliant personalities. He loved his mother for all that she was. And, because of this, he had come to the same conclusion that he loved Clary to some extent, though he had never quite decided what that extent was. He had never needed to question it before, but now he had all the reason in the world to.

But what if Jace didn't love her the same way she loved him? Nothing could work if he forced his feelings. Clary would never forgive him for that.

Feeling eyes upon him, interrupting his train of thought, Jace turned to meet Will's piercing gaze with his own. Will's lips curled into a devious smirk, as if he were sensing Jace's inner turmoil, and was enjoying having a front row seat to what was sure to be a train wreck. Jace stiffened, narrowing his eyes. He turned his back to William, and began climbing the stairs again, mindful of his steps and careful to take one at a time to be sure he wouldn't trip. He didn't need another thing for Will to mock him about.

"Does Jace seem a little more off than usual to you?" Clary asked, watching Jace and Magnus' interactions with a mixture of worry and curiosity shining through on her face. She turned her head expectantly to Alec, who had walked with Magnus but stopped beside Clary, waiting for his answer. Their eyes locked only a second before he averted his gaze. Color rose steadily to his face, and he used his index finger to scratch his cheek.

"Uhh- I don't. . . know? Does he seem that way to you?"

"Um, yeah," Clary said slowly. She eyed Alec suspiciously. "He literally flinched when Magnus walked up to him. I don't think that's normal in any circumstances."

"Y-Yeah." Alec nodded his head unconvincingly and leaned away, flustered from her inquisitive stare. "I guess that you might be right."

Clary lowered her tone and narrowed her eyes. "Alec." He shuffled slightly. "Are you lying to me? Do you know something I don't that you're purposefully not telling me?"

"What?! Of course not!" He objected loudly. He looked at her before nervously looking away again.

"Hmm." Cary huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She wasn't convinced. "If you say so Alec."

Clary was studying Alec's face carefully, and saw as soon as the relief washed over his features. She followed his line of sight to see Jem approaching them, his hand in the air in the form of greeting. Alec sighed, clapping Jem on the back as soon as he was close enough, and slipping away to join Isabelle and Simon who were conversing in low tones.

"Is he hiding something from you? He's acting awfully strange." Jem smiled slightly at her, and Clary knew immediately that he was in on whatever had transpired in her absence.

"Everyone in this room is hiding something from me," Clary retorted sharply, her own smile betraying what was meant to be an annoyed tone. "It just goes to show you. You can't leave a room where all your friends are gathered, unless you're prepared for them to start plotting against you."

Jem leaned closer, his smile full-blown now, and his gleaming white teeth on full display. He folded his arms across his chest and angled his body so that his left shoulder was almost brushing against her right shoulder. "You think we're plotting against you? You think I'm plotting against you?"

"Well, you are in the room, aren't you?" Clary grinned impishly up at him. She reached out to grip his forearm, and Jem glanced down and his eyes quickly reconnected with hers, a question forming in them.

"Are you trying to compel me to tell you what this so called plot of ours is?" Jem asked dubiously.

"I'm trying to be enticing, so then you'll feel compelled to tell me." Her grin broadened. She batted her eyelashes in a overexaggerated fashion, giggling like a mindless schoolgirl all the while. Jem himself chuckled good-heartedly. His cheeks colored slightly, though he shook his head at her antics. "Well, tell me, is it working? Are you so blinded by your attraction for me that you're ready to spill the state secrets?"

"Spill Will's secrets maybe," Jem replied, his smile never wavering, and the dancing lights in his eyes never stilling or dimming. "But never the state secrets."

Clary shoved him away from her by his arm with a breathy laugh, and he stumbled back a step or two before he regained his footing, mimicking her laughter. "You're no fun." Her toothy smile said otherwise. "And you're so ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous?" Jem laughed incredulously. "You were the one who was just flirting so horribly in an attempt to get me betray the trust of my friends. That sounds a bit ridiculous to me."

Clary rolled her eyes, amused. She glanced around the room mindlessly, and only realized she was looking for someone after she had scanned all the faces and found his to be missing. The amusement from earlier disappeared and she frowned. "Where did Jace go?"

"I didn't see him leave," Jem confessed.

"Neither did I," Clary murmured. She lifted her head to peer at the stairwell. She didn't turn back to face the silver-haired boy as she spoke again. "But really Jem. You'd tell me, wouldn't you? Jace has been acting oddly, more odd than usual, that is. I doubt you'd notice, since you've known him for what, two days? But I do, and I also know he wouldn't tell me if something was wrong. I'm not sure whether it's pride, or just his purely stubborn attitude, but it doesn't really matter. I just want to make sure he's okay."

"I don't think you give him enough credit," Jem murmured softly. He raised his hand to rest on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. "I think he trusts you a lot."

"I know he does, but he just gets a little uncomfortable at times. It's always better not to push him. But, despite that, you'd still tell me right?" Clary turned her head to peer over her shoulder. "Like, if someone made a passing comment, and it was stupid and wasn't even meant to mean anything, but in the end, it did. Or someone said something they didn't realize would ruffle his feathers. You wouldn't keep that from me, would you?"

Jem swallowed the lump forming in his throat, and his grip on her shoulder tightened ever so slightly. "Clary, I-".

"Hey you two!" Will exclaimed. His eyes flitted over Clary's form quickly, before he made finger guns directed at Jem. He directed his next words at him. "You're kind of defeating the purpose of the whole plan if he's not even in the room, but I've got to give you kudos. You are suave as fuck. Any who," Will shifted his crooked grin to Clary, "how are you today, Pixie Girl? Figured out who's your secret Santa? I know who it is."

"And that's not against your fake rules?" Clary asked, a teasing lilt to her voice.

"Not in so many words, no," Will winked. "Figured out who my secret Santa is?"

Clary rolled her eyes. "I'm not a cheater."

"Though that's not to say you don't know. Maybe you figured it out by accident, like an accidental passing glance." Will leaned forward to tap the spot between her eyes, and her nose wrinkled. "I saw the flicker of recognition in your eyes just now, Pixie Girl."

"Yeah, yeah," Clary waved him off. "Maybe I do. But I'm not going to tell you."

"You're no fun," Will pouted at her. "Anyway, do you want to know the rules? Sebastian declined, and so did your brother. I tried to convince them that they would benefit from the knowledge, but they didn't seem to care. Whatever, their loss. So you want to hear or not?"

"Yeah, I want to hear."

A/N: So like, some of you were saying that you kind of shipped Seb and Clary after that last chapter, and smae honestly. like asdfghjkl. yessss. but no at the same time. um. i shall attempt to have the next chapter up by next monday. alsooo, any guesses to who has who for secret santa? i'll give you hints.

Jace doesn't have William.

Clary has mixed feelings on this person.

Sebastian is comfortable around this person.

Jonathan hasn't interacted with this person in the story that much.

Isabelle likes to pester this person.

Tessa's person is not of the opposite sex.

Will's person has a nickname that one or more people consistently address them by.

Jem has never had a conversation with this person or interacted with them.

Alec is close with this person.

Magnus' person is not Clary, but is of the opposite sex.

Simon is easily infuriated by this person.

Sneak Peek of Chapter 15.:

"Your analogy skills are far superior than mine, and for that I must commend you."

"Is that your lame attempt at flirting?"

"I wouldn't call it a lame attempt, but yes."

"In that case, I don't undertsand why you don't have a girlfriend yet."

"Yes, it is a mystery that befuddles even me."