"No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks."
~ Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
"Scarlett, what the bloody hell are you doing up so early?" Lily yawned, shocked to see Scarlett dressed in yoga pants and a giant sweatshirt, scrambling her books together.
"Nothing Lily, just a morning workout before class." she muttered, nearly on the brink of her sanity trying to find all her scattered textbooks and notes.
"You mean breakfast?" Lily giggled, slowly sliding herself out of bed.
Scarlett scoffed, finishing off her school bag."No, no. Already ate, need to hit the library before Ancient Runes...major test…"
"Are you sure? I haven't seen you-"
"Yup! Positive! Gonna take a shower now!"
Lily frowned as she saw her best friend disappear into the bathroom. Scarlett was nothing but constantly disappearing and then reappearing these days. Scarlett always seemed to be preoccupied, always on the move. Always so avoidant, and so quick to answer any speculative questions.
Lily was so entranced by staring into space, thoughts so deep while pondering towards what her best friend had become; she had almost missed Scarlett dashing out of the bathroom. She observed her more prominent bony figure wrapped tightly with a towel. She watched as Scarlett hurriedly dressed into her school robes, using a quick drying spell on her hair. She watched as her friend grimaced as she faced the mirror to apply her makeup.
Since the start of the new school year, Lily had observed these seemingly simple, yet enticingly odd behaviors Scarlett displayed. She watched as Scarlett began scrambling out of the dorm, barely managing a goodbye as she disappeared.
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Sirius watched in awe as crimson blood dripped slowly from his arm, hot water rinsing it quickly down the drain as he stood in complete statute form in the shower.
He felt completely engulfed by his inner darkness, anxiety rising slowly in his heart as he began to fear for what the future held.
Scarlett, his wife to be, was slowly shrinking away before his own eyes; consumed by her own internal darkness. Her ice blue eyes so reflective of her inner turmoil, yet, she still revealed nothing of the sort verbally.
Yet here he was, literally slicing his feelings away. Mourning the loss of his childhood, smothered in his own self pity and loathing. Feeling so weak and distraught over his inability to get answers from Scarlett.
You're weak Sirius!
Be a man Sirius!
Sirius, such an utter disgrace to the Black family name…
What a shame you had to be sorted in such a joke of a house, what an utter embarrassment you are!
"Sirius! When will you be done! I've been holding this piss in for hours!" he suddenly heard James moan obnoxiously.
Sirius snorted, quickly washing away any evidence he had bled in the shower, allowing his previous anxiety to subside for the moment; replaced with his perfectly crafted mask he had perfected ages ago.
"James, there is no way in hell you could hold your bladder for that long!" Sirius shouted back as he turned the water off, his laughter echoing against the tiles in the bathroom.
"Okay, got me there mate...maybe thirty minutes tops?" James pleaded, "But have mercy man, let me in!"
Sirius chuckled as he performed a quick healing spell on his arm, then quickly changing into his school robes before he would let James in the bathroom.
"This isn't a joke anymore Sirius! I'm almost a grown man, and now I may have to subject myself to pissing my pajamas! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!"
"What's the magic word then, Prongs?" Sirius cooed through the door, milking every second of the torture he inflicted on James.
"SIRIUS!"
"Uh no, try again, Prongs!"
"PADFOOT, ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!"
"No, I am not! I refuse to exit the restroom until you demonstrate proper manners! Thus, proceed with the magic word, my dear Prongs!"
"PLEASE, SIRIUS!"
"If you insist…" Sirius grinned, slowly opening the door for James. James suddenly dashed in as fast as he could, nearly ramming the door right in Sirius's face.
"Dammit James, you nearly broke my nose!" Sirius groaned to himself as he slammed the bathroom door behind him, leaving James to do his business in peace.
"Everything alright, Padfoot?" Remus asked softly as he looked up from the book he was devouring when he saw Sirius approaching the room once again. "You look paler than usual…" he observed.
In fact, Sirius seemed to be greatly paler than usual this year. His dark, delicate features he usually so often envied, now becoming more prominent with his more ghostly skin. The way he moved was usually so delicate, so rhythmic in nature. A type of demeanor that made most girls gush with excitement. Sirius now seemed more slower in his movements, more hesitant. So unsure, always seemingly to second guess himself. Not just with his walk, but with everything lately. Sirius even appeared to giving even Remus a run for his money when it came to studying and grades.
"Yeah, just nearly got my nose broke by James smashing the door in my face. Other than that though, everything is just fine." Sirius joked, beginning to prepare his books and scrolls for the day.
"Well, to be fair. you did take forever in the bathroom…" Wormtail piped in softly.
Remus nodded in agreement, returning his gaze back towards his book. Placing his observations of Sirius on the shelf for the moment.
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Sirius looked around the dining hall frantically, searching for any sign of his blue haired mystery.
"Looking for Scarlett?" Lily asked as she took a seat next to where Sirius stood. She helped herself to some scrambled eggs and bacon, sprinkling shredded cheese lightly on her eggs as she awaited his answer.
"How did you know? He asked with a heavy sigh. Defeated in not being able to spot Scarlett, he finally took a seat for himself. There wasn't any sign of his fellow marauders either, so chatting with Lily couldn't hurt to pass the time? Right?
"I know everything, Sirius!" She replied mysteriously, sipping her orange juice.
Sirius stared at Lily in shock, nearly ready to panic in the question of how much she knew.
Lily nearly choked on her eggs when she took in Sirius's expression; "Sirius, it was a joke…"
Sirius's panic subsided, replaced with a rare expression of embarrassment.
Lily suddenly cleared her throat, searching for the right words to express the next thing she wanted to ask. She put down her fork, studying her plate for a few moments, carefully organizing the next words she was about to speak
"Sirius...can I ask you something?" She finally asked, "without you getting angry or taking offense?"
Sirius nodded slowly, curious to hear what Lily Evans could possibly want to know from him, Sirius Black.
Lily then took a deep breath, eyes closed before she began to speak once again.
"How do you guys do it?" She finally blurted, "How can you two go through life knowing you had no choice?"
Sirius was once again shocked by Lily, yet oddly intrigued by what possibly could bring on such questions.
"We cope...I guess…" He answered bluntly, not sure exactly how to answer the question. He knew what his answer was, what his release was. The very thing that made his mind and body so numb he forgot about all reality for what felt like a lifetime in those mere minutes.
On the other hand, Scarlett seemed to capture the very essence of an enigma; he could not speak for her just yet.
"You like her…" Lily answered back swiftly, wearing such a smug smile on her face it was nearly impossible to argue back with her.
But Sirius tried anyways; "where the bloody hell would you get an idea like that, Evans."
Lily chucked, "the way you look at her...the way you're always chasing after her. Making sure she's alright...you're clearly obsessed, Sirius! A girl's best friend notices these things, and it's our job to chase those bad boys away! But, I guess in this case I can't, so consider yourself lucky, Black!"
Sirius sighed, there was clearly no fooling Lily here. He had to give her props, she had great observation skills, that or he wasn't that great at hiding his growing liking towards Scarlett. Either way she found him out, a most uncomfortable situation indeed.
"Well, I guess you're kind of right. She's something else that's for sure…" He finally stated as he stared in the direction towards the slytherin table. He watched as his brother Regulus appeared to be in serious conversation with Lucius, Narcissa and Bellatrix. A most distasteful trio if you asked him.
Dread flooded through his veins, flashes of his brother joining the so called "Death Eaters" raced through his mind; the morbid and dark future that seemed to loom before his brother.
Regulus, so eager to please. Entirely set on being the "go to" guy for everyone, staying his parents favorite. Everything Sirius sometimes wished he could be, but his inner sense of morality forbid it.
Silent panic and division seemed to be sweeping through the wizarding world lately, the rise of Voldemort was becoming more prominent. Nearly everyone seemed to be taking sides, families becoming divided. Relationships and friendships slowly breaking away to dust. The idea of muggles and mudbloods being such a nuisance and hindrance on wizarding society was indeed a hot topic and fronted Voldemort's propaganda. A clear attempt to win over the majority of the pure blooded community.
Sirius grimaced as Lily's mindless chatter fell into the background; his only focus was Regulus. Regulus...the son he should have been.
"You're our families future!" Orion had said, "Joining Voldemort is the best decision you could make!"
His brother appeared to be doomed to be nothing but a mere servant; enslaved to overrated and unjust beliefs. Something more of a sinister cult if you asked him. Regulus refused to listen to any possible reasoning Sirius brought forth to him, seemingly sealing his own fate. Not even bothering with any second thoughts.
"Sirius! Are you even listening to me?" Lily growled, charming her finished breakfast away as she began preparing to make her exit.
"Yes Lily, you're absolutely right..." Sirius murmured, watching as Regulus take his leave.
Lily groaned as she rolled her eyes, typical Sirius. Never bothering to listen to anyone entirely; always enchanted or enticed with something he thought was better at the moment.
"I said, if you'd still care to find Scarlett before class begins, I suggest searching in the library!" Lily growled as she stormed off, irritated by Sirius's daydreaming.
"Thanks Lily…" He murmured to himself, seeming entranced when he decided to check out the library for Scarlett once again.
Author's Note: Hey there! Sorry I took so long to update! I wrote a longer chapter to try to make it up to you guys! I hope you all are enjoying the story! If you like please please please leave a review! I love feedback and it keeps me more motivated to update faster! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has read and reviewed! REVIEWS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA! For real; if you guys ever want a faster update FEEL FREE TO HARASS ME! Lmao! Anyways, I have TONS planned for this story. A sequel that takes place in the regular Harry Potter time period as well! SO IF YOU LIKE PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I've had this idea for years and I'm just starting to get it down and written out! Anyways thank you and will update again soon!