Author's Note: Hey there everyone! I'm so sorry this took so long to finish! Please forgive me! I also apologize for the cheesyness and blehness of this chapter. I don't like how this came out but for the sake of the story I needed it done! :) If you like please review! Thank you so much for everyone who have followed and reviewed this story so far! You all are very much appreciated!
Chapter dedicated to: Sorcha15
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this story! You're very much appreciated! You have no idea!
*If anyone else would like a chapter dedicated to them for being a reader of this story, just drop a review and let me know! :)
"Cause it's almost like
Your heaven's trying everything to break me down
Cause it's almost like
Your heaven's trying everything to keep me out"
~ "Far from Home" by Five Finger Death Punch
There were various shades of pink that covered Hogwarts from the astronomy tower down to the dungeons. Sounds of girls giggling echoed throughout the castle as Scarlett strolled through the crowds.
She couldn't help but clutch her books tightly to her thumping chest. Valentine's day has always given her a horrid case of anxiety and this year was no different. Scarlett moved her fingertips to feel the heart-shaped note that peered from between the pages of her potions book. Despite the oddity of her and Sirius's relationship, they had both gotten to a place where they mutually believed in the love they had for each other.
However, when she had awoken to a sparkling, red heart left on the top of her bedside table, Scarlett was left in outright surprise. Sirius was the very last person she would have expected to create such a thing. He had never struck her as a man of many words, always making his thoughts and feelings known with his actions.
When Scarlett had opened the note, she was most stunned to hear harp music fill the room as a series of heart bubbles surrounded her in a dance. A most endearing enchantment it was for her as she had gasped in astonishment at the site. So much so, Scarlett had nearly forgotten to read the message. It had seemed Sirius wanted to meet her for a date in Hogsmeade, much like the normal couples at Hogwarts.
Scarlett couldn't help but smile as she made her way to the garden area outside, the thoughts in her head swirling round and around.
She never imagined she would end up actually loving Sirius. The same man she was being forced into marriage with.
"God has the most twisted sense of humor..." she murmured to herself. Scarlett squinted her ice blue eyes slightly as her face suddenly met the sunlight. Shivering, she clenched her coat a little tighter. The crunching sounds of snow melting beneath Scarlett's boots made her grimace as she made her way to the white frosted bench.
Reaching into her school bag, she searched for her wand with her fingertips. With a twirl of her wrist, the snow blanket was banished from the area she wanted to sit in. Placing her wand to the side, she made herself comfortable on the cold, wooden bench.
Instead of finding herself lost in a book, she felt her eyes begin to stare at the birds fluttering freely about in the crisp blue sky. The black birds all flying in a circular motion around the barren tree tops, squawking in delight.
Soon she felt her mind begin to wonder towards her father, probing the question if she should even allow herself to grow closer to Sirius. The trauma of her father's rather...fondness of her had made her quite bitter and distrusting. Even with her feelings for Sirius being genuine, doubt couldn't help but plague her mind.
Scarletting nervously began biting the corner of her lip harshly in worry. The worries she had worked so hard to suppress suddenly came rushing back in.
His insults.
His touches.
His total control of her.
She felt panic flush through her motionless body as more rampant worries shot about like a gun that had just been fired.
What kind of wife would she be for Sirius?
Scarlett felt so impure and tainted.
Would Sirius even want to touch her after he knew how filthy she really was?
She blinked, gulping silently as she began to stare into the sky once again. The wind sporadically breezed through her long, blonde hair. The birds that were once chirping about merrily had since disappeared into the horizon.
Her stomach groaned, screaming for something to eat.
Sighing, Scarlett reached for her wand once more. With a more elegant swish of her wrist, she had managed to conjure a glass of ginger ale. Her favorite appetite suppressor.
Quickly gulping the bubbly ginger drink, she finally felt full and settled. Satisfied with the treat, Scarlett made the glass disappear in a flash.
Within seconds, she heard Sirius's booming voice in the far right distance.
"Damnit, Regulus! If you don't get that mark out of my sight, so help me God!"
"You already knew this was happening,Sirius! Stop pretending like you expected otherwise!"
Scarlett felt her eyes widen in shock as the two arguing so publicly. She took in how red Sirius's face was becoming. How pale his tightly clenched hands were turning from the lack of blood circulation.
The breath was all too visible between the brothers as they stood before one another.
Scarlett couldn't help but hold hers as she felt her heart begin to race in anticipation.
Regulus suddenly smiled eerily as his hand began to reveal a most disturbing image as he pulled back his sleeve even more than it already was.
The haunting symbol was bewitched in black ink and shaped like a skull. A deadly snake was slithering about through the eyes and mouth of the deathly head.
Fear suddenly pumped through Scarlett's veins as Regulus continued smiling at his brother.
"This-" Regulus stated, "this is what happens when one accepts their fate I suggest you do the same, Sirius."
And with those words said, Regulus left Sirius in a mist of a growing angry tornado.
"Regulus!" Sirius growled loudly, "don't you dare walk away from me like that! We're brothers...blood! Doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?"
Regulus slowly turned his head back around to face his scorned sibling. A small gleam of sadness shimmered through his black eyes as they met his Sirius's own dark eyes.
"Soon...you'll be no brother of mine..." Regulus finally answered darkly.
Piercing silence erupted as Regulus made his exit. The decision he had made eternally finalized.
Scarlett couldn't help but feel a magnetic pull erupt from within her body to comfort Sirius as she disregarded her bags on the bench as she made her way towards him.
Carefully calculating how to approach Sirius so she wouldn't startle him, she slowly placed her delicate fingertips on his tense shoulder blade. Urging him to turn around and face her.
As Sirius turned to face Scarlett, his black eyes met her ice ones. A moment of silence between them was birthed. The silence seeming to act like a mutual mourning for the brother Sirius had just lost.
Sirius opened his mouth to speak but was met with Scarlett's finger on his lips.
"Please, don't speak." she pleaded softly, "You don't have to...I just-I just want you to know before you blame yourself that it's not your fault. You fought so hard for him for many years, Sirius. There was nothing else that could be done for him...he made his choice."
As Scarlett took a break from her speech, she suddenly found her fingers naturally entangling with Sirius's.
In that moment she wanted to show him it was finally her turn to be the comforter.
To be the protector.
To show Sirius she was there for him no matter the situation.
To say she would no longer be selfish and self-absorbed.
"He made his choice...", she repeated. "Now let's make ours!"
This time, it was Sirius's turn to be the silencer as he gently brought her close to his chest. He felt a pit of sadness grow in his heart. Not just for his brother, but because he could feel Scarlett's fragile figure from underneath his embrace.
The fact that she was so warped in everyone else's issues that she couldn't see her own greatly bothered him. And he still had yet to fully understand the reason why she treated herself that way she did.
Such a simple question it was; why?
Yet, the answer still remained a not so simple one.
O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Sirius sat in silence on his bed as he contemplated the choice his brother had finalized. He glanced at his watch and came to find that it was already 4:00 p.m. He had planned his date with Scarlett to be at 5:30 p.m at Hogsmeade today and definitely did not want to be late.
But there were so many emotions and so many words left unsaid that his mind could not settle and create the mindset that he needed to have an enjoyable evening with Scarlett this Valentine's day.
Biting his lip harshly, he felt a familiar satisfaction in inflicting pain upon himself that the intoxication completely engulfed all reason in his mind.
Forgetting about the promise he made to Scarlett and knowing how much it would tear her up inside, Sirius frantically searched for the sharpest object he could find in his side drawer.
Murmuring an unlocking spell, he lifted the wooden plank that hid his sharpest knives from his fellow marauders. He reached and pulled the one he desired. Not caring if anyone walked in on him, he began tearing away at his own forearms.
Each cut deeper than the last.
Each cut more satisfying than the last.
With every stroke he made with his blade, he felt the overbearing sense of shame and guilt leave his body. Slowly he felt his fingers grow numb and his mind began to drift to a farther off place.
As Sirius clenched the outskirts of his bedsheets to lift himself up, he found all his strength had left his body. When he finally had managed to get himself off the ground, he started stumbling about in the room, accidentally dropping the bloody knife in his confusion. Sirius felt his thoughts run rampant as he suddenly realized the damage of what he had just done when he saw a hazy view of the blood spattered on the wooden floor.
Eager to clean his mess up before anyone found him like this, Sirius stumbled about till he reached the bathroom door, "Dammit…" he hissed when he stubbed his toe on the front side of the door.
Yanking the door open, he breathed heavily as he found the strength to walk towards the bathtub. Sirius finally sighed with relief as he realized he was in the clear.
In his haste he failed to notice how damp the floor had been and he suddenly tripped over his own feet. Hitting his head violently against the edges of the tub.
Knocking Sirius out cold.
O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Meanwhile Scarlett was completely preoccupied with her nerves of the date she was soon to have with Sirius. She found herself having a strange sense of nerves formulating within the pit of her stomach.
Butterflies, she thought to herself. Something she never thought she would experience.
As she treaded through the icy snow. She couldn't help but smile to herself through the glass windows as she made her way to Three Broomsticks.
As she entered the bar, her eyes laid site on an empty booth in the far corner that had a single candle lit. She found found it would be the most romantic setting for the two.
When she made herself comfortable in the booth, she glanced at her own watch. Scarlett sighed with relief, she had made it with fifteen minutes to spare.
Methodically her fingertips began drumming the table top in anxiousness while she waited for Sirius to arrive. Scarlett glanced about at the other guests, the aroma of the greasy food made her nose cringe with disgust. The site of seeing people eating it made that feeling of abhorrence even worse.
She didn't know if she felt comfortable enough having a meal, or even an appetizer. Or even a drink for that matter. But, she wanted Sirius to know she was dedicated to bettering herself and to be the motivator for him to get better.
She knew he would give up the blade if she picked up the fork.
It's the least I can do, she thought.
Reasoning with this musing, she finally plucked up the courage to pick the menu. When she opened the laminated parchment, she saw the words begin to magically appear as they informed her of all the drinks and specials they had this evening.
Scarlett's eyes quickly avoided anything she knew was fried and quickly found where the salads were listed. Deciding on a regular salad and a glass of water was something she could live with. Putting the menu down, she sighed with relief. Glad to have that decision before Sirius had arrived.
She knew that is Sirius saw the hesitation and panic on her face, it would only spark questions and concern. And Sirius had enough to worry about without having to fret about her eating habits once again.
Never in James life had he ever experienced such as traumatic image as he had tonight as he had careless entered his dormitory that him and his fellow marauders had shared. Never had he gone from laughing loudly to screaming in agony so fast.
The site of Sirius knocked out cold in a pool of his own blood in the bathroom they shared was an image he would never be able to forget. Luckily James had Remus there to support Sirius's body as they rushed him to the hospital wing.
"Madam Pomfrey!" James shouted.
"Madam Pomfrey!" Remus shouted as well.
"What is is dearies?" she asked, a look of confusion was on her face as she looked up from the bedside of a first year she had been tending to.
"It's Sirius, he's had a horrid accident!" James boomed.
"What kind of-" she started to ask, but upon seeing the site of Sirius's arms covered in gashes and bloody scars as she approached the boys was enough to make her drop the glass bottle she held in her hand immediately. The potion she had in the bottle going up in smoke as it hit the stone floor.
Ignoring the shattered glass that was left behind on the ground, the Madam quickly whisked her wand out to levitate Sirius to an open bed. "What happened?" she shrieked.
James just shook his head, shakingly finding himself a seat beside the bed.
"We don't know…" Remus finally answered softly as he removed the fabric he had torn from his cloak to use it as a tourniquet for the main wound that was nearly pouring out blood before he stopped it.
The truth was Remus had a pretty good assumption of what happened, but he wanted to give his mate the chance to explain himself before he made any accusations.
Poppy couldn't mask her look of astonishment and hurt as she began healing the deepest wounds Sirius had.
"I figured something was wrong with him this year...I just never thought it would be something like this…" James muttered angrily.
"Shoo, shoo!" Madam Pomfrey finally ordered, "I've got him now, you two are not allowed back here until tomorrow morning! Is that clear?"
James leaped out of his seat and had his mouth open in protest but was met with Remus holding him back.
"Leave it be, James...there's nothing more we can do here…" Remus stated lowly.
James groaned but nodded in agreement, casting one last glance of worry at his fallen best friend before turning his back with Remus to leave the hospital wing.