Eventually, Temari's bound to notice the lag between Gaara's leaving the office and getting home.
One day, as Gaara is packing up at the end of his long and gruesome day, Temari walks in to his office. The redhead actually lifts his head in surprise – his sister is never in the office if she can help it. It suffocates her, she says. "What's the plan tonight, Gaara?"
"What do you mean?" The Kazekage raises a non-existent brow as he puts away the readied files. "It's late."
"I know. Are you going home?"
With a file-filled hand raised in midair, Gaara pauses in confusion. "Of course I am. Where would I go?"
"Right away? Right after you're done here, you're going home?" Temari crosses her arms.
"Does it matter? I'll be home."
"Where are you going? The past months you get home later and later, and I even came here at one point to yell at the council for making you stay so late, only to find that you aren't even here. So where are you then? Kidnapped?" She says with pursed lips. Maybe she's nosey, maybe she's out of line, but she's his big sister, and she has every right to be concerned, especially after the Deidara incident.
"Clearly, I'm fine." He scoffs with a roll of his eyes.
"If you're so fine, tell me." Another eye-roll. "Gaara!"
"Machi's, alright?" He growls lowly and definitely does not miss the way Temari tenses. "What? Does your friend want to kill me too?"
"I don't fucking know Gaara, but if she's taking advantage of my baby brother, then this 'friendship' that we have? Over." With large and speedy steps, she breezes over to the ninja files, and with swift fingers whips out Machi's.
"You're investigating your friend." Gaara would laugh if he's the type to, but instead, his tone remains deadpan. It doesn't stop him from peering over his sister's shoulder though.
"There is nothing here. Father KIA, Mother MIA. Stepfather's COD unknown. Machi just lives by herself."
"Sounds innocent enough." Gaara states, and if you listen really hard, he is definitely teasing. With that, he left the office, leaving his sister to lock up.
It becomes inevitable, really, that Matsuri would start to feel like something is off with her favorite teacher when Gaara has to stop her from bringing him anything caffeinated.
It is approximately a week before the Konoha trip that Gaara has one of those never-ending nights. With more than enough piles of paperwork towering over him and nagging pressures from the elders, Gaara slaves away behind his desk, aquamarine eyes dulled and flaming locks mussed by the droop of his Kage hat in an almost pitiable fashion. The desert is now engulfed by total darkness when a light tap on his door interrupts the stillness of the night.
"Come in." Gaara mumbles, not even bothering to raise his voice at this point as he reads and signs yet another mission reports – he swears, if some fucktard loses another cat… – and proceeds to pick up another.
"Gaara-sensei?" Upon hearing that familiar voice, Gaara finally stops mid-read to acknowledge his guest.
"Matsuri, what are you still doing here?" He asks when he catches her eyes, his own widening just a bit in surprise.
"It's already morning, Gaara-sensei." She murmurs, walking over to him. She doesn't stop before his desk; instead, she walks around it – walks to him.
"It is. Go home." Gaara has now completely abandoned his work, turning to face Matsuri. She looks tired, matured. The redhead sighs at the thought of this bold girl, a vulnerable and frightened child when he just met her, and wishes almost like a father that she won't ever grow up. "Get some rest Matsuri, I'm sending you on a mission tomorrow."
Matsuri isn't fazed. If anything, she shakes her head stubbornly and puts a hand on his shoulder; Gaara doesn't even flinch anymore, so he just lets her – not that he'd be able to actually feel her touch anyway, sand armor and all. "Not when you're still here, Gaara-sensei. At least let me make you a brew." She smiles, and gets up when Gaara interrupts abruptly.
"That won't be necessary," He says, perhaps too quickly, causing Matsuri to stop dead in her tracks.
She turns back around accusingly. "What is with you? You've been turning down my offer for weeks now. Before, you'd never miss a warm drink at night."
"I'm trying to cut down on caffeine." Gaara states, redirecting his gaze to his unfinished file and flips to the next page. (Matsuri isn't actually sure he is reading it, then again, nor is she sure that he isn't.) In any case, both of them know that Matsuri does not believe him for one second.
"Then at least let me keep you company."
"Matsuri."
"Gaara-sensei."
"I'm heading out soon."
"Then I'll stay until you do."
"Matsuri…" Gaara drawls, rubbing roughly at his temples. "You're not actually my secretary, you realize that, right?"
"You just don't get it, Gaara-sensei." There is that tone again, when she says his name, and the young Kazekage is suddenly reminded of the way Uzumaki Naruto talks to Haruno Sakura when the blond idiot thinks they're alone.
Wanting to say something, then thinking better of it, Gaara buries his nose back into his work. Promptly ignoring his student in the process, – she's cleaning and putting readied files away, for God's sakes – he finishes the stack he was working on in record time. Okay, so maybe he's skimmed over one or two (or seventeen) files, the important thing remains, he gets to leave; whether this is for Matsuri's sake or for selfish reasons is yet to be determined.
"Are you done?" Matsuri grins as soon as he stands up to stretch, and Gaara returns a curt nod her way. "I'll walk with you." The chestnut-haired girl says bubbly when they step out, refreshed and reenergized by the cold air.
Gaara freezes in his tracks. "You live on the other side of town." Not that he'd accept her offer in the first place (but she doesn't need to know that) but since he has no actual plans to be home…
"It's only-"
"No."
"It's not that far-"
"Matsuri, stop." Gaara's eyes narrow this time, his voice firm and his body frigid, putting Matsuri back in her place. "Whatever this is that you're doing, needs to stop."
"I don't know what you're talking about." She pouts, arms across her chest, and the only thing that would complete the picture is if she started stomping her feet – like a child. He suddenly feels the urge to walk her home, just to make sure she doesn't get kidnapped.
"Matsuri."
"Gaara." She preens, and for the first time, Gaara flinches away from her indignantly. She just drops his name, no honorifics, and somehow, some way, Matsuri has crossed the invisible barrier into Gaara's bubble. And Gaara really, really is not comfortable.
"You need to leave." Without another word, Gaara stalks off, picking up his pace as he goes and as soon as he turns the corner, he is making a full sprint ahead where he eventually deems the speed inadequate and disappears in a storm of sand.
When he reappears, it's in the park. Right now, it isn't even that Gaara wants to see Machi; he just needs to be as far away from Matsuri as he possibly can. Something shifted when she called him out, he can't quite place it, other than that he suddenly feels… naked.
For someone who's had a shield on for most of his life, naked isn't good. Naked is vulnerable. Vulnerable is fragile. Breakable. Cold. Gaara really doesn't like the cold. With swift steps towards the apartment complex, Gaara forgets about Matsuri, and instead lets his fingers find their way to the intercom that they've long since familiarized.
He waits patiently for a minute, shifting his weight from leg to leg every so often.
But Machi doesn't answer.
Maybe she fell asleep, Gaara thinks; after all, he's never stopped by this late. Or should he say, early, since it's probably already half past two. But still, reasoning doesn't stop disappointment from eating away at him, and he finds himself more disappointed than he should be. He lets himself contemplate sitting on the steps before he shakes off the ridiculousness of that thought. He is the Kazekage for fuck's sakes.
He buzzes again.
And again.
And aga-
"DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I SIT AROUND WAITING FOR YOU TO SHOW UP, KAZEKAGE-SAMA!?" Machi screeches through the intercom finally, cursing into the dark as she let out a moan of pain.
"Are you alright?" Gaara asks, bemused.
"No! I kicked the table, think I broke my shin." Another string of curses, and Gaara hears the door being buzzed open. "For fuck's sake…"
When a very amused Kazekage is greeted at the door, Machi has already calmed down and fixed up whatever she knocked over in the dark. How is she supposed to know that the Kazekage of all people would be showing up at this god forsaken hour and wake her from her peaceful slumber? In a mad scramble from her bed to the door, it is only expected that she kicks a few things along the way. "Hi! Sorry about earlier, come in!"
"You're alright?" Gaara asks monotonously, taking his usual spot in an armchair that faces the kitchen.
"Dandy." Machi shoots back with a yawn, locking the door behind him and finds herself a seat across the redhead. Gaara looks at her expectantly when she sits down, if not slightly confused. "What?"
Gaara only blinks at her.
It takes a minute, but Machi eventually understands his silent question and manages to send him a half-hearted glare. "Oh no, Kazekage-sama. All due respect, I'm not a Bed and Breakfast, and you've already disturbed my beauty sleep, so if you want coffee, you'll have to make your own."
With another yawn, Machi lays back onto the sofa, burying her face into the first pillow she reaches. In the meantime, she could've sworn that she heard a small whine emitting from the Kazekage's throat, and she might've giggled if she weren't so tired.
"I'm not moving from this couch, Kazekage-sama." She restates, already half gone again.
Shooting her one last passive-aggressive glare, Gaara pushes himself off the chair and sulks to the kitchen so slowly, as if giving Machi a chance to stop him. Au contraire, she remains like a rock on the couch, briefly reminding the Kazekage of his own brother, and starts to drift off again.
It is only to the waft of a warm cup of Joe under her nose that Machi stirs again. Groggy cerulean eyes flutter open as she sits up, making Gaara lean back into his seat, hand still extended with her cup.
"Thanks, Kazekage-sama." the kunoichi mumbles, downing two mouthfuls before really waking up again. She makes a face. Still bitter.
Gaara, on the other hand, doesn't seem to mind as he sips peacefully on his own. After a moment of silence, Machi speaks up, "what are you doing here so late?"
"I want you to come with me." Gaara abruptly replies with nothing leading in, causing Machi to cock her head in confusion.
"What?"
"The trip." He says, setting the cup on the coffee table with a soft clink.
"Why?" Drawing her brows together, Machi finally sits up straight. "What about Temari and Kankuro-san? Or ANBU?"
"Temari and Kankuro will still be my escorts. As you are very well aware, there still remains some distance between Sand and Konoha. I have requested for you and Matsuri to accompany me as well on the journey in the case of ambushes. We leave in a week." Gaara explains offhandedly, almost as if the entire trip doesn't actually matter all that much. Except that it is pretty freaking important, that the two greatest nations will reunite in an alliance stronger than ever, following the death and betrayal of the previous Kazekage. No big deal.
Machi's eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. Is she hearing right? "K-Kazekage-sama, I'm flattered, but I don't know if I qualify!" Gaara sighs, and relaxes like he plans to ignore her complaint, but a second frantic "Kazekage-sama!" makes it hard to do so.
"You're not the strongest or the fastest, but your abilities are unique and would come in handy should something happen." Tactful, that's Gaara in a nutshell, really.
Machi grumbles something, but Gaara simply lets her words fly over his head. It's late. He's tired. Talking isn't really his thing anyway. "I don't even have a say in this, do I?"
The young Kage shakes his head, causing his hair to dance…not that Machi notices or anything. The kunoichi sighs in resignation, and Gaara doesn't say anymore; he seems content to just be in her company as he sips away at his own creation. Cerulean eyes soften at his form: powerful, dignified, assured, but with just the slightest curl of the back that hints at vulnerability beneath it all… If only his armor would come down…
Machi shoots out a hand determinedly. The redhead blinks. "Shake my hand."
"What?"
"Shake my hand."
"Why?"
"Just shake my hand." Machi repeats, and only when she holds her gaze that Gaara cautiously extends his own. Then, in a ridiculously slow manner, his rough hand made contact with her warm one, and Machi lets out a frustrated groan. "No! Actually shake my hand!"
It takes a second, but when Gaara finally registers her request, he shakes his head yet again with a stubborn, "no."
"C'mon Kazekage-sama. I don't feel like we've officially met until you shake my hand." He just stares, so Machi continues. "If you can't trust me with even your hand, how are you to trust me with protecting you?"
"Apples and oranges."
With a soft, but clearly annoyed sigh, Machi gets up; Gaara follows suit. "I'm going to bed. I don't mean to be a bad host, but it's late." She starts to make her way towards the bedroom when, from the corner of her eyes, she sees Gaara head for the door. "No!"
He stops, offering her a blank gaze. "I mean, you're welcome to stay, Kazekage-sama, if you're comfortable here. It must be freezing out, and you look terribly tired as well."
He remains silent. "Kitchen's at your disposal." Machi continues, shuffling around to throw an extra blanket onto the couch. "Like, if you want. To stay, I mean. So um. Yeah. Goodnight."
With a face flushed with embarrassment and weariness, Machi quickly shuts her bedroom door, not wanting to endure the suspense. In any case, she shuffles over to the bed and shuts her eyes – the Kazekage can wait 'til morning.
The next time Machi opens the door, it is nearly noon, and Gaara is nowhere to be found. On the couch, the blanket is folded; therefore rending Machi unsure as to if Gaara had spent the night. It doesn't matter. It doesn't.
Gaara doesn't come by for the next week; in fact, Machi has gotten no visitors at all until one early morning, her intercom buzzes.
"Coming, coming!" She yells to no one in particular, stumbling out of bed clumsily. "Hello?" She spits to the technology.
"Machi? What are you still doing?" comes an inpatient voice.
"Temari?" With her face turned towards the intercom, Machi starts make herself presentable. "Why are you here?"
"Why am I- oh for god's sakes Machi why am I here? We're meeting by the gate to go to the Konoha is why I am here!"
Oh. Shit.
"That's today?!" She cries, and actually begins to scramble.
"Yes! Gaara said he told you, and, oh, Jesus Christ, just buzz me up you idiot!"
With a weak chuckle, Machi does as she's told and runs to the bathroom to get ready. By the time Temari knocks on the door, she's just gathering the rest of her weapons.
"Tems!" She pauses with a bright and slightly frightened grin to open the door, and Temari brushes by her. Machi sweat-drops. "Heh, sorry."
As Machi grabs her belongings, Temari stands in the corner with arms leisurely across her chest, observing her friend. Machi remains oblivious, and it's only when they start to walk towards the gates that Temari couldn't hold it any longer. "Spill it. What's going on?"
Machi jumps a bit at the sudden outburst; frankly she's still in the process of waking up. "What?"
"Between you and my brother!"
Machi looks really puzzled now. "Nothing? He just flirts with me sometimes?"
"What!?"
"C'mon, you know how he is: awkward puppet-master by day, a smooth bastard by night." She laughs fondly, but Temari is not amused.
"Not him, you dolt. Gaara. Gaara."
"Gaara?" Something's going on between her and Gaara? Machi doesn't even know.
"Yes, Gaara." Temari sighs, exasperated. All she wants is some answers. "I want to know why he makes occasional stops at your house late at night. I also want to know why Gaara didn't come home one night last week."
"Nothing! He just stops by for coffee and we'd talk, that's all." Machi explains, and oh. Oh. He did spend the night. That is definitely …news.
"That's all." Temari repeats pointedly, as if daring Machi to lie to her face.
"That's all!" Machi cries, putting her hands up in defense.
"So you don't have feelings for him." Temari asks, but in that same pointed tone.
Machi immediately flushes at the mere thought of having romantic relations with the Gaara of the Sand. "N-No! What makes you-"
"And he doesn't have feelings for you."
"No! I mean, I don't know! I'm not him, I-I-why are you doing this to me?"
"Machi, I don't need another Matsuri around, I don't." Temari begins, purposely not looking at her as she walks ahead, almost as if she were afraid to hear the truth. "And I need to know you're not just using me to get close to my brother. I realize he's become infinitely more popular after his encounter with the Akatsuki, but-"
"Woah woah, Temari, stop. I would never…" Machi promises, all blue eyes and furrowed brows, and the blonde couldn't help but soften just the slightest.
"Okay." She ponders for a second. "What happens if Gaara does have feelings for you?"
Machi's steps falter for just a split second before she catches up again. "You're joking, right? Because I don't think that'll be an issue."
"Don't be too sure about that, Machi; Gaara is reserved, not stupid. He knows what he feels, and he has been…" She hesitates, trying to find the right word. "…confused before."
"Confused how?"
"When he was first beginning to discover what love is, he um…" Machi's eyes are curious, but Temari doesn't seem very eager to share, because once the words leave her mouth, it becomes…real. "He thought he loved Matsuri, like a first love."
"He did?" Machi purses her lips. Something tugs at her a stomach a bit, but she shakes it off. Temari simply nods solemnly.
"She's the first girl to put her life in his hands like that, to open up to him and respect him. We knew it was going to happen in time." Temari laughs, almost bitterly. "What? Does that surprise you?"
Machi pauses; but then again, hindsight is 20/20. Sure enough, all the signs are there: Gaara trusting Matsuri with national matters, Matsuri constantly trying to be close with Gaara, Gaara being very protective of Matsuri against his siblings, etc. "I-I guess not." Hesitation. "So…what happened?"
"Matsuri became very dependent on Gaara." The blonde hisses, clenching her fists as her footsteps become heavier. "She doesn't train enough, which gets her into trouble, which makes Gaara risk his life too many times, and uses her association with Gaara to gain favors and whatnot. What's worse is that I don't even think she realizes this."
'Of course,' Machi thinks, 'Gaara's been used as a weapon his entire life. Of course this is a touchy subject for Temari.' "Did you tell him this?"
"You bet I did; Kankuro too. But you know Gaara, I love him to death, but he's one stubborn little shit." A strained laughter escaped Temari's lips as she slows her pace. Machi notes that her friend is just stalling, for they're almost at the village gate; she can already make out the outlines of her traveling companions.
"So they love each other but no one's said anything?" Machi asks incredulously, though a part of her hates that she wants to know.
"They don't love each other." The fan-wielder rolls her eyes. "Matsuri has a crush, and Gaara was confused. Gaara is more like an older brother…he's a mentor to Matsuri. That's disgusting. That's like me having a relationship with Baki." Both girls shudder at the image that practically conjured itself.
Still, Machi ponders Temari's words for a bit, and by the time that the rest of the gang is just out of earshot, she realizes that Temari is, indeed, probably correct on all counts. "So…how do you know Gaara is confused or that Matsuri just has a crush?"
"Call it a woman's intuition." Temari winks as they walk up to an impatient Kankuro, a bored Matsuri, and a nonchalant Gaara. Machi scrunches her nose as Temari's tone drops an octave or two. "Think about it."
What happens if Gaara does have feelings for you?
Right.
Machi clears her throat quickly before putting a smile back on her face. With a polite greeting, she effectively ends that conversation.
On the third day of traveling, Matsuri inhales and exhales, her chest heaving with every breath as the team flies past what seems like the hundredth thicket that lies between the Sand and Konoha. Her pants are beginning to get labored again and the whine that emits from her throat indicates to the group that they need to stop soon.
As Temari and Kankuro subtly (with dramatic eyerolls) predicted, Gaara jumps to a halt in the next small clearing they come across. Matsuri instantly slumps down on the damp grass.
"Damn it Gaara, this isn't a vacation!" Kankuro protests and Machi can't help but understands his sentiment; they've been stopping at least five times a day before making camp, and it's really delaying the travel, not to mention that the faster they arrive, the faster they can get proper rest. Still, the emotionless face of Sabaku no Gaara deters further argument, and his siblings both sit against the nearest tree trunks without another word.
"Take fifteen." The Kazekage curtly says, before disappearing into the trees again. Machi stands, looking to and from Temari and the trees with a worried expression; it doesn't take a genius to know that neither parties are too happy at this point, and she has a feeling that perhaps this happens more often than she sees.
"You heard him," Kankuro begins, making himself comfortable. "might as well relax a bit."
"But Kazekage-sama-"
"He'll be back soon. He always runs off when he knows we're annoyed with him," Temari reassures, but with a gentler tone. "You can't have a one-sided argument after all."
Machi, however, chews her bottom lip in hesitation. A part of her knows that it's none of her business, but the other part knows that if running off is Gaara's defense mechanism, then he most likely will want a release—and she can be it. Machi's decision is apparent in her eyes, for Temari sighs and nods.
"I'll be right back, I promise," and with that, Machi takes off, searching for just the flash of red amongst the miles and miles of trees.
It doesn't take long to find Gaara, for he now sits on a branch facing the river, back leaning against the trunk, letting a leg hang off leisurely. Machi lets herself fall back to the ground and approaches the water; she doesn't quite look up yet, though they are both painfully aware of each others' presence.
Gaara breaks the silence first, "You're quite fast at tracking people."
"Always follow the water, Survival 101." Machi beams, and only then does she allow her cerulean eyes to capture his emerald ones; his eyes are still passive, but they are definitely kinder than before. Gaara grunts a bit in response, but refuses to say more. Thankfully, Machi remains unfazed as she bends over to cup her hands at the cold liquid in order to take a sip. "What are you doing here alone?"
"I'm not." Gaara shoots back with no real animosity, directing the statement pointedly at the uninvited guest.
A pregnant pause follows. A slight movement on Machi's part makes Gaara still for a second, but just when he thinks that she's going to approach him, she sits down, still facing the river. She doesn't say anymore. He observes her form, lithe and relaxed, and is immediately on edge again.
She's odd. Unpredictable, even. One thinks she's going right, she turns left; she's dangerous, yes, and every part of him says to stay away. Avoid at all cost.
'How hypocritical.' He thinks to himself.
"Why are you really here?" Gaara finds himself asking a few minutes later, effectively breaking the silence.
Machi stares at the water some more, concentrating on the ripples the river makes as it bends itself around rocks and debris effortlessly; her posture tenses from what the redhead could see. She seems to be carefully picking out her next words, and once she has, her voice comes out smooth, relaxed. "They care about you; everyone here, we care about you."
"…"
"I can't say I know how you feel, or know your past, because I haven't experienced it. I can't even tell you what love is, but if there's one thing I have experienced, it's actually what love isn't." Machi breaths deeply, as if trying to sooth the worry lines in her face. Something is bothering her. Maybe she's reliving a memory. "You shouldn't be afraid of love when it is, Kazekage-sama, especially it's often ephemeral."
Gaara replies flatly. "Get to the point."
"Damn it that is my point!" Machi snaps, whirling around to catch his eyes, teal orbs that widen ever so slightly at the sudden shift in the atmosphere. "Temari, Kankuro, and Matsuri, and god, especially Matsuri, they're not going to judge you if you talk to them. Sure, you'll come to disagreements sometimes, but they won't hate you, just…stop running away."
"You can't know that." The redhead shoots back bitterly. After all, everybody ran away from him, so why shouldn't he?
"I told you, I know what love isn't. And what these people are giving you is the opposite of that." She murmurs, breaking her gaze and allows her eyes to fall back onto the ever changing stream. "I know when people actually care."
Another pause of silence follows, and the nature is suddenly quiet, hushed, immobile, with the exception of the rustles of the running river. Machi sighs softly; getting through the Kazekage is truly no simple feat, which puts him into the 'can't live with him can't live without him' category of Machi's mind. Finally, she stands up and pats herself down. "Do as you like, just don't run too far until you get lost."
The words seem to fly right past the boy, "Where are you going?"
"Back. Fifteen minutes are up."
"Finally!" Kankuro exclaims as he unceremoniously drops every piece of luggage on the ground of their hotel suite.
After roughly another day of travel, the team has arrived at Konoha without incident other than the fact that Gaara really does not enjoy the cold. And by that he means anything less than the desert. In the meantime, they get to take the afternoon to relax before Gaara actually needs to speak with Tsunade, and everyone is more than grateful about that.
"Gaara-" Matsuri begins, only to have the Sand sibling's daggered eyes on her, so she quickly adds, "sensei, may I speak to you?" before the Kazekage even has the chance to set down his gourd.
"What about?" He loosens his sash, and the heavy gourd hits the ground with a loud 'thud.' Machi lets out an offhanded whine about the noise, but proceeds to sink into the couch next to Kankuro. Boy is she tired.
"Would it be alright if we do it in private, please?" Matsuri drags, body already turned towards the door. With a tired sigh, Gaara follows. Who is he to deny his pupil of anything? Except, well, you know.
As soon as the door clicks behind him, a heavy silence fills the air, and neither dared to draw the knife that cuts it. Matsuri shuffles her feet; Gaara stared expectantly. For what seems like a whole five minutes of almost-utterances, Gaara's patience is finally tested.
"Please make this fast Matsuri, I'm exhausted." The redhead confesses with every part of his body protesting his remote wakefulness. "And if it's about the other day, forget it."
"I can't forget it Gaara-sensei!" Matsuri immediately shoots back. "I can't even get it out of my mind. I-I-" she swallows deeply, hands clutched together against her chest. She's going to do it. It's a jump. It's a jump where gravity takes over and you free fall without knowing where you'd end up or whether you'd even be alive. There is no turning back. Should she? Will she? An eternity seems to pass until finally…
Matsuri jumps.
"I like you. I've liked you for a long time and-and- and she, she comes around and suddenly you don't even acknowledge me anymore?" Her words linger in the cold air and the redhead instantly shifts uncomfortably.
"You like me." Gaara repeats slowly, his hands unconsciously fisting and releasing. Everything is blurry, cloudy, unfocused. It is uncomfortable. He is uncomfortable. Soft skin suffocates. warm, too warm, beneath the sand armor. "Like me. Me. You like me."
"Yes Gaara-sensei, I like you! Why is it so hard for you to accept that?" Matsuri trails off with the smallest whimper as tears threaten to prickle her eyes. Why can't he just answer her? "Is it because of her?" Matsuri whispers, a look of disgust overtaking her teary orbs. "Is she the one confusing you, saying that I'm not good enough?" No, Matsuri won't even say her name—that makes her real. She doesn't deserve acknowledgement.
"She's never said such a thing-"
"-Then why can't you just answer me!?" Matsuri cries. "Just tell me you hate me. Do it!"
"I don't hate you, Matsuri. You're important to me and I'll always protect you." Gaara reassures, but his gentleness only riles her up even more.
"Are those your words or Naruto's?" When Gaara doesn't respond immediately, Matsuri takes off in the opposite direction. She just wants to get away—needs to get away.
"Matsuri-" The Kazekage calls out in vain as he stares at the brunette's retreating back. Maybe this is what Naruto is talking about, maybe he should just…stop thinking, and do.
Without another thought, he follows his student; he catches up quickly enough, and with a hand outstretched, he grabs at her, forcing the smaller girl to turn.
"Gaara-sensei-" Matsuri gasps.
For Gaara, the protective instinct takes over, and before he knows it, he is pulling Matsuri in, rough fingers tightly clenching each of her arms. Taking his action as encouragement, Matsuri gets on her tiptoes, and softly, gently, all-too-overwhelmingly, pushes her lips onto his. Gaara isn't thinking anymore. This is all too much. He's never done this, what is he even doing? Slowly, however, his human instinct envelops him, and Gaara finds himself pushing back into her dryly. Is this what a kiss is like?
His lips feel chapped, like sandpaper on sandpaper, but he follows what he's seen other people do, and just prays to the gods that he isn't doing a bad job.
It is then, when a gasp interrupts the pair. Gaara instantly releases the girl to whirl around to their new company, and Matsuri bounds happily on her feet.
Shock.
Confusion.
Anger.
No, these are not Machi's emotions, but Temari's. The trio stares at the duo, mouth agape and mind blank. Temari isn't ready for this, isn't ready for her brother to give his life away. One look at him, and she knows he's in deep shit. This is purely one-sided, but even more importantly-
"I-I'm so sorry to interrupt you we- I- we thought we heard commotion but um-" Machi stumbles, hands pointing at every which direction with wild gestures. Nothing makes sense right now, so Machi does the one thing she knows best – she retreats.
With a strong sort of pain bubbling in her chest, Machi backs off into their shared suite, and shuts the door behind her. Temari hates every moment of it.
"So…is this like a thing now?" Kankuro tentatively breaks the silence while hesitantly nudging his seething sister. "You two are…you know, a thing?"
"No we uh…um." Gaara clears his throat roughly, using the back of his hand to wipe at his lips. He and Matsuri share a look.
"We haven't talked about it yet." Matsuri quips, much too pleased for Temari's liking.
"I hope you're happy with yourself." Is all Temari manages before stomping off, willing herself to not lose control in front of her peers.
"Machi?" Temari's tentative voice rings fuzzily in her ears as Machi sinks herself further into the mattress in hopes that it will swallow her up. "Machi, I'm coming in."
A soft click of the door, then the bed dips. Machi opens an eye to see Temari looking down at her compassionately.
"You fell for my brother."
It isn't a question, but a statement, and Machi whines a quick "no."
"Machi."
The brunette sits up to be at eye-level with the blonde. "I didn't. At least, I didn't know I did. It's…" Machi pauses to fiddle with her fingers in contemplation; then she shakes her head. "It's just a little crush though. I just panicked back there, but don't worry, I'll get over it quickly."
"Machi, I didn't say it's bad I just-"
"No, no, you're absolutely right! I'm sorry. I'll sleep it off tonight, and I'll be good as new for tomorrow's meeting with the Hokage. I have you as a friend, and that's all I need. I'd never step over you to get to Kazekage-sama." Machi says quickly, and though her mouth puts it lightly, she feels heavy. Tired. "I don't want to lose you over something stupid like this… you're important to me."
"Machi." Temari says sternly this time, effectively stopping her rambling with kind eyes. "You're not going to lose me because you fell for my brother. As long as you have his best interest at heart, I'm okay with it." By then, Machi's already looking down once more, picking at her nails. "It's going to be okay! I don't- I don't need you to get over him, I'll still be here for you. I just hate seeing you hurting like this."
"I'm not. I just…"
"Just get some sleep, alright?"
"Yeah."
With that, Temari shuts off the lights and turns to the door, only to be stopped by a gentle tug on her skirt. "Yeah?"
"Why don't you uhm, you know, I mean, can you, like, stay with me tonight?" Temari raises a brow, and Machi immediately drops her head. She's picking at her nails again. "You don't have to I just uhm-"
"No, it's fine, I can stay." Temari says quickly, circling her arms around the younger girl as she sits back down. Machi instantly sinks into her warmth and lifts the blanket to cover them both. "It's just, you're not telling me things. What is it? What's bothering you?"
"Uhm."
"Machi."
"It's a long story."
"I'm here all night." Temari presses.
"I, uh. Remember the first time you came over for dinner? The first day you took me to meet the Kazekage?" Temari nods. "Then you asked me why I don't have any pictures, uhm, of my f-family?"
"Mhm."
"Um." She's chewing on her bottom lip now, making it stark red and raw; her nail-picking becomes harsher, and if Temari presses real close, she'd be able to feel the light trembles of her body. "My dad died, uh, when I was really little, don't remember much of him. My stepdad came into the picture after that. He was just a normal salesman, didn't make much, but somehow, he has the money to bring my mom and me gifts, take us on trips, all that."
Machi shudders as she curls up tighter, as if preparing herself for the next bit of the story. A shaky breath escapes her lips. "We found out he's gambling on the side, and naturally, things go bad – he starts losing. He lost his job, gambled things in the house, eventually furniture, and then, the house. When there's nothing left, he turned to alcohol, and that's when-when-"
She isn't crying. No tears are falling, but it seems as if someone is knocking the air out of her lungs repeatedly. Machi is hyperventilating. "Machi, Machi! Oh honey." Temari pulls the girl into her lap, gently running her fingers through the soft, brown locks.
When Machi calms, she shuts her eyes and continues… like a warrior.
"We lived for a few years like that, an endless cycle of yelling and beatings, then my mom died, and my stepdad got killed by the people he owed money to, which, good riddance." A smirk tugs at Machi's lips, as if allowing her a moment of sick satisfaction. "You once asked me why I don't have pictures, it's because I hate them. Every single person who is supposed to treat me right—those are the people who are supposed to be in those pictures. I don't need those constant reminders."
"I read your file. It says your mom is MIA, why do you say she died?" Temari softly interrupts.
Machi's breath hitched. Not only did Temari look her up, but now she has to relive the most painful moment of her life. "I. It's the only way I can move on. I believe she died. I have to. How else can I cope with the knowledge that the only person who is supposed to protect me left me to a monster?"
Temari doesn't say anything, she merely nods. After all, she understands all too well.
"I was, needless to say, a wreck. I got sick. Really sick. One day, when I was on a mission, I killed this bandit, only to find out that she had a son. As terrible as she was, I had just subjected her son to a lifetime of loneliness. I couldn't cope. I just, sort of, collapsed on the battlefield. My teammate at the time, Haru, he saved me. He kind of put back the pieces and we became…a thing. Then I got better. I stood up for myself, I spoke my mind more, and…" She falters. Now Temari can really feel her trembling. "…and Haru didn't like that. He liked to be the savior, you know? Had a hero complex. So when I finally talked back to him, he-he beat me, until…until I just couldn't. He could've killed me."
Machi gasped, and with a worried glance, Temari ushers her to stop, only to receive a stubborn headshake. Then tentatively, Temari prompts,
"What happened? He stopped?"
Machi throws her back and laughs for the first time in her story, and yet, Temari hates it. How can one summon such a cold, bitter laughter?
"No, your brother killed him."
Temari suddenly freezes. "Gaara? What?"
"Your dad, the Kazekage at the time, loved Haru. Thought very highly of him, which, no offense, big surprise. He hired Haru to kill Gaara-sama, and the rest is history."
Silence follows for a moment then. It's a lot of information to digest, and the silence continues until Machi breaks it again.
"Gaara-sama saved me, unknowingly, you know. I was with a guy, then a girl, after that." Temari raised a brow, not judgmentally, just surprised.
Machi just laughed. "The point is, they didn't hit me, but they abused me emotionally. They wanted to know what I was doing and when I was doing it. I was theirs, in a sense, not able to do a thing without permission. I didn't love them, so it hurt less when they left me for new toys." She laughed again, bitterly. "I guess you end up falling for people like your parents, because the abuse was what I thought was love. I didn't know anything else. I was lonely, and I was aching to feel what I felt with Haru in the beginning again. Then I met you. You gave me friendship and company, and you made me better. Then you took me to see Gaara-sama and…"
Temari nods, so Machi moves on.
"He was kind to me. So kind." Machi breathes with a smile, the kind where crinkles peek out by her cerulean eyes and dimples overtakes her cheeks and Temari's heart nearly blossomed at how genuine it is. "Every time he comes by at night, I'd make coffee, and he's give me a little bit of himself, and I'd do the same in return – even just the little things. Before I knew it, nights aren't so lonely anymore, y'know? Eventually, I begin falling asleep on the couch, waiting for the intercom to ring." She laughs. This time, it's not bitter, but gentle. "It's pathetic, but I never want the intercom to stop ringing. Tonight, I just got the gut feeling it won't ring ever again."
When Temari doesn't say more, Machi finds herself falling asleep to her friend's rhythmic breathing, and soon enough, they are both out cold.
"Cat."
Machi's brows draw up lightly in surprise, the cup of coffee long forgotten beside her. "Really. Most people go with dogs. Why cats?"
"It's my turn." Gaara says colorlessly, but the brunette doesn't miss the slight mischief in his eyes.
As per Machi's suggestion to get to know her new friend better, they are currently half-way into a game of 20 Questions at 3 in the morning. The Kazekage himself has confessed to not seeing the point of the game. 'Why twenty question?' he had asked, 'What's so important about the number 'twenty?' Why not call it 'Questions?' And if the game is just about asking questions, why is it a game at all?'
Machi had to explain that this is merely another version of the game, with the original being a guessing game with 20 chances of hints. Still, the Kazekage remains firm on his position, but acquiesces to go along with it as long as Machi could offer him another cup of coffee.
So far she has learned that the leader of the Sunagakure has an affinity for swings, likes watching the sunrise, enjoys the juice of Prickly Pear Cactus fruits, abhors screaming children, can snack on grilled gizzards all day long, prefers soft mattresses even despite not sleeping much, appreciates primary colors, and secretly sneaks up to the roof sometimes to avoid paperwork. And he likes cats, too, apparently.
He's… surprisingly normal.
Except the gizzard part, because that is disgusting, and Machi told him as much.
"Ask away, Kazekage." She grins, leaning forward, resting her chin atop her interlaced fingers. Her elbows wiggle against the coffee table in anticipation.
"Why is your house filled with stuffed animals?" He decides to ask, pupil-less aquamarine eyes scanning the plushie covered space around him with good-natured mirthful judgment.
"Because they're soft and huggable and they keep me company." The brunette responds shamelessly. Then, without a beat, "Why cats?"
Gaara doesn't hesitate this time, "because they love selectively. You have to earn their love, whereas dogs love everyone. A cat's love is true."
Machi laughs, appreciative of his honestly and the double entendre, "Should the Kazekage be saying that?"
The red-head merely shrugs.
The next morning is hard to wake up to. With a throbbing head in an all too cold room, Temari sits up to the alarm, and is immediately on edge when she feels something move against her. She turned, only to find Machi balled up, shivering lightly to the chill but otherwise much more at peace than she was the night before. Temari pats at her hair gently and wants nothing more than to cuddle back with her best friend. Instead, she slips out carefully and pads to the shared bathroom, only to find Gaara already in there, brushing his teeth.
"Move." The blonde mumbles, nudging her brother aside before hogging the mirror and grabbing her hairbrush. Gaara wordlessly obliges, aquamarine eyes down-casted. The silence is most unbearable as Temari takes the ties off her locks, brushes them roughly, then squares her hair into fours before tying it back up again.
It was when Temari is putting toothpaste on her toothbrush that Gaara speaks up.
"How is everything?" He drawls vaguely, almost timidly. He doesn't know what happened, barely comprehends what he did last night, let alone why Machi ran off – but it doesn't take a genius to guess that something's off. He doesn't get it.
Temari merely rolls her eyes and stuffs the toothbrush into her mouth. She has nothing to say to him, so she finishes brushing and stalks out to the living area.
"Hey Temari." Kankuro greets from the couch, and the blonde acknowledges him with a nod in return. "How's Machi?"
"Alright now," is all she says, sparing Kankuro the vivid details out of respect for Machi, then adds, "I think."
Kankuro and Temari are sipping away at their tea when Gaara joins them, almost tipping the balance of the room.
"Hey," Kankuro waves weakly, "sleep well?" Temari holds in a scoff. Kankuro is always the bigger person.
Gaara nods and is about to say something when the door clicks open, and a red eyed Machi stumbles into the room. Temari is instantly by her side, pulling her into a warm embrace as Machi nuzzles into her neck.
"Hey Mach." Kankuro murmurs, as if he would scare her away if he speaks any louder; Kankuro already has a hunch. Kankuro is correct.
Machi smiles softly into Temari's shoulder and mumbles a quick " 'Morning."
Gaara suddenly feels twitchy, like his body physically cannot stop moving. Closer. He wants to be closer. "Machi." He says roughly, voice thick with nerves, and is immediately disappointed when she pointedly avoids his gaze. "Machi." He tries again.
"Will you shut up?" Temari snaps, and Gaara has never looked so affronted in his life. It made Machi look up though.
"Hi." She replies softly, looking back down. Then, into Temari's shoulder, she muffles "I'm going to make some coffee."
The blonde tentatively lets go, and just as Machi is about to pull away, Gaara beats her to the coffee maker.
"Please, sit. I'll make some."
The siblings both falter in surprise; because he's…he's Gaara. Gaara doesn't do that. It becomes an entire list of things Gaara doesn't do.
He doesn't speak like that. All soft and proper and apologetic.
He doesn't do apologetic. Gaara doesn't apologize, not in empathy.
Gaara certainly doesn't offer to make coffee. What kind of demon took over his body?
Regardless, he carefully measures enough water and coffee powder to make two cups, and once he turns on the coffee machine, he promptly returns to his team, hands antsy for anything to steady them. Everyone watches him with curious eyes.
Sabaku no Gaara is nervous. (He also doesn't do nervous.)
Machi, however, decides to spare him, as she breaks the silence first. "I'm sorry about last night."
Gaara snaps up, surprised. "What for?"
"We didn't mean to spy, and running off after was very unprofessional of me. I apologize." Machi says so formally and so steadily that it sounded almost like a chant, memorized and repeated over and over until it's perfect.
"N-No. I didn't- That wasn't anything." Gaara assures, and when Machi doesn't respond, he shuffles over to fuss once more at the coffee maker.
"I know you mean well," Machi starts, letting the sudden courage speak for her. This has to end right now, before Gaara leaves to stand before the national assembly, head up in clouds. She barely notices Temari and Kankuro shuffle out. "You don't have to pretend with me, Kazekage-sama; after all, we're friends, are we not?"
Gaara freezes. "Friends?"
And suddenly, everything crashes back down for Machi, what if Gaara hadn't even consider her- "I-I don't mean to be presumptuous I-"
"No!" Gaara turns quickly, eyes wide and frantic as he places himself before the girl "no, we are, I assure you, please."
Machi is now eye-level with the Kazekage, letting herself be coaxed by determined sea-foam eyes. "Yeah." She breathes, letting the debris in her mind settle, "Yeah, ok, friends."
When Gaara becomes sure that she is not going to contradict him, he does the one thing that makes Machi gasp out in surprise.
He holds out his hand.
"A-Are you sure?" She presses, eyes flying all over the Kazekage's passive features—his face reveals nothing.
"Friends, are we not?" He says, quieter than he's ever said anything, and Machi lets herself to, once again, be coaxed by the hint of a tilt at the edge of his lips.
Then slowly, but ever so carefully, she slips her hand into his.
And it was foreign, so weird and foreign, the way his hand feels. It was baby soft, with the lack of contact to the outside world, but it was chilled, almost cold, in a comforting sort of sense. It felt good, Machi's overheated palm against his cool one. Gaara, too, seem to realize the magnificence of the moment, for he, for the first time, bites down a smile.
And Machi feels important, important to someone, needed and wanted. Gaara trusts her. Her!
The gesture itself is a silent oath: to protect and to let be protected in return. And it's more than enough. If Gaara finds happiness in Matsuri, then Machi is more than happy to be at his side, if only to serve her Kage.
The intercom will ring again.
It's alright.
It's not alright.
It hurt, more than anything when Matsuri emerges from Gaara's room 10 minutes later. While Machi has already accepted the fact that Matsuri is the one, knowing and seeing, just isn't quite the same.
No, no, she is going to be happy today. There is no use mourning what couldn't be anyway, she'll pick herself up like she always does, like she always will.
So when Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari all left to see the Hokage, and Matsuri with them, Machi was left to stroll the streets of Konoha all on her own.
She's only beginning to sit down in a ramen shop for lunch when a booming laughter interrupts her darkened thoughts.
"Hey! Are you new!? Ichiraku's the best isn't it!?" The voice shouts excitedly.
"I haven't had the chance to try." Machi smiles at the bright presence. He's blond, dressed top to bottom in heinous orange, but welcoming…warm. Machi instantly likes him.
His name is Naruto, she discovers a moment later – Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage, and the greatest ninja Konoha has to offer, according to him.
In Naruto's insistent presence, it becomes easier to contain the darkness within her mind, for he is anything but, and damn it he will make you absorb his sunshine. He tells her his life story without so much a second glance, and she basks herself in the warmth of his acceptance, her heart aching with so much of it.
By the end of lunch, they had shared their ramen and an extra plate of naruto, and Naruto had declared himself the best tour guide Konoha has ever known.
And he's sweet, so so sweet and lovely and nice that Machi just can't help being drawn to him. And he's affectionate too, like the embodiment of happiness, as he throws an arm around her without so much as a second thought. He listens when she speaks, listens like she matters, and fills the silences with his loud, obnoxious stories. And Machi knows, knows, that she'd never let her new friend walk out of her life without a fight. Whoever fortunate enough to catch this man's attention would be a set for life.
Then, Machi doesn't even know what happened. One minute they were throwing pebbles into the river, and the next, hiding in it to scare off children by popping out of the water randomly. Somewhere along the line, they picked peaches off an old man's overhanging trees, ate some and threw the spoiled ones onto the Uchiha compound (Sasuke hadn't been very pleased, no), and, with Machi sitting on Naruto's shoulders, they painted obscene doodles onto an abandoned academy's walls.
That is probably how, by late afternoon, Machi and Naruto are both damp, splashed with paint, and her on his shoulders as they walk back towards the Hokage's tower. They don't even make it half way there in such state when Gaara and Temari appear before them, the former frowning, the latter amused.
"You have a good day then?" Temari speaks up, tone teasing, making Machi blush in embarrassment to be standing before her Kage like this.
"Yeah, was fun, wasn't it?" Machi asks, almost shyly, earning an enthusiastic nod from Naruto, who slides her off, his hands gentle and too familiar on her waist despite his overly eager demeanor. "It's the best day I've had in a while!" With that, he plants a wet, sloppy kiss right on her head. "I can't believe you guys have been keeping my future wife from me! No one has played pranks with me since I can remember!"
"Naruto," Machi giggles, squirreling out of his strong grasp yet pushing closer to him in the process, "Stop it!"
"Machi." The laughter, the amusement, suddenly, everything stills. Everyone stills. No one, not even Naruto misses the cold anger that claws out from the Kazekage's unrelenting tone. Even Temari takes a step away; she knew her brother had been annoyed at not being able to find Machi, but this? This was unexpected. "You led me to trust you, how can you be defacing Konoha while we negotiate for peace? Is that how you wish for the Sand to appear? How dare you sabotage our hard-earned truce?!"
Color drains from the brunette's pale flesh. How - "Are you kidding me? Naruto and I were just-"
Machi doesn't even get to finish, for just the mention of Naruto sends a dangerous air spinning around Gaara.
"Traitor," he spits bitterly, the swirls away in a storm of sand. Where Naruto and Machi stand, it becomes unclear who he was addressing.
Another one up! I've been working hard, please leave a review, they do make my day :)
Shoutout to Ana for always leaving one !