His logical brain said he should stop driving. His logical brain said he was over the limit and would be lucky not to cause an accident. His logical brain said to go back to his flat, or go to Ethan. Better still would be to park up on a side road, take note of where he was, leave his car and get a taxi back home. He shouldn't be driving, especially not while over the limit and especially not away from his brother.

But his logical brain was overruled by his illogical brain and all he wanted to do was drive and drive and drive until he couldn't. He thanked anyone who was listening for the fact he at least he had enough petrol for a while. His logical brain wasn't present when he left the flat (and not even for a while before that), and he'd left his wallet, phone and jumper behind. He was lucky he had a spare set of clothes in the back of his car (you never knew when your clothes would get ruined after all, and that was Ethan's reasoning that woke Cal's brain up to that truth… oh, Ethan) because he was stupid enough to leave the flat in a crumpled t-shirt and boxer shorts. His spare clothes didn't have a jumper with them so he'd cranked up the heat in his car, but apart from that he was stupidly driving away from everything that mattered without any means of getting in contact with anyone and without his wallet.

He wondered if he even had his driver's licence with him, or any form of ID. But it didn't matter. He wasn't speeding, he wouldn't get stopped and he wouldn't crash.

It surprised him, really, that he seemed to be driving well. Considering he was less than sober and over the limit, he couldn't have felt steadier. His hands weren't shaking, his feet were alert and pressing on all the right pedals, and he was completely focused on the road in front of him.

Not thinking about Ethan at all.

Nope. Not at all. Not one bit…

Cal had stopped driving. He was parked on the side of a road; there were no cars around (strange, he noted, but considering it was nearing night and it didn't seem to lead to anywhere important he didn't ponder about it more), so he wasn't causing any problems with any other drivers. He looked out over the drop, feeling his stomach jump a mile in the air and then sink, because he wondered how Ethan would react to this height. Not that it was… particularly high and Cal wasn't really scared...

Yet it was a long drop below so luckily there was a small barrier preventing a driver from death (maybe he was exaggerating just a little bit). But as he looked out of the front of his car, he watched the beautiful sunset, admiring the calmness and peacefulness in it. He'd always wondered how Ethan had found such joy and serenity in sunsets; it had always confused him because what was lovely about a burning ball of flame? But now he knew why. The colours, the clouds, the silhouettes of birds flying across the sky, the orange and pink and yellow and blue that all mixed together. Cal just stared at it. Taking it all in. It really was beautiful… and if only Ethan could be here to see it. He would love it so much. He would gaze at it just as much as Cal was now.

And maybe, one day, they could look at the sunset together.

But that day would never come… not now Ethan was… Ethan was…

Cal closed his eyes and hit head against the seat in a moment of anger, before blowing out a huge breath and leaning back, relaxing and staring at the sunset once again. The engine was still running to keep the heat going and keep Cal warm, but he knew he'd have to turn it off eventually.

While he was seriously considering just staying in his car for as long as he could, he had no food or water, no means to get any… and if his petrol ran out he would not have any way of getting back.

He didn't even know where he was.

But then the logical side of his brain finally took hold and told him to keep driving until he reached a town. It didn't matter that he was exhausted, probably still drunk, felt nauseous and didn't know where the nearest town was, but he needed to find out where he was and get back. Back to his flat, back to the hospital, back to his ill little brother. The guilt still gnawed away at him, and it had only been a few days since Ethan had woken, but this was his little brother.

His little brother that he could have well killed or damaged his brain and might as well have been the one who attacked him in the first place.

"Agghh," he moaned, feeling a tear slip down his cheek. He banged his head against the seat a couple more times, raging at himself for being so stupid, stupid, stupid!

That didn't change the fact he didn't know where he was or which direction to go in. He didn't even have any sense of the direction he came in apart from the fact his car was facing the direction he had been travelling in before he stopped. And it did worry him, which was yet another emotion to add on top of the large pile already.

But maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe his current state was responsible for his lack of memory about where he was, but he didn't care enough to put more thought into it.

Without a second thought, only focused on his one goal to go to a town, he put the handbrake down, put his car into gear and started to drive off. It was a short stretch of road before he had to turn a sharp corner, and he hastily put his lights on when he noticed it getting dark quickly and he'd failed to notice they weren't on.

But as he turned the corner, the one thing he wasn't expecting was a tree right in front of him.