"We do not learn, and what we call learning is merely a process of recollection." – Plato

"So, we, the Avengers, were chasing down leads in Lagos. It was an operation to stop a potential terrorist attack. Cap led the operation. But, long story short, the mission went south, people died." Natasha began talking. She had deliberately avoided the gruesome details of that fight, those were the kinds of stuff that Laura did not need to hear.

"Gosh, Nat. I'm so sorry to hear that." Laura responded sympathetically.

Natasha shook her head. "It's okay. We stopped the group of mercenaries and secured the bio-weapons that they were transporting. But anyway, the civilian casualties came with consequences for the Avengers…"

Laura remained silent, eyes trained on Natasha's, completely absorbed in Natasha's narrative.

"The government, well, governments worldwide actually, the UN, to be precise, were unhappy about the outcome of our mission in Lagos. They blamed us for the civilian casualties. Said that the Avengers were too dangerous to operate alone without oversight. So they came up with an agreement of some kind, The Sokovia Accords. Basically, it's a document that puts the Avengers directly under the supervision of the UN, which also means that the Avengers would no longer be a standalone organization like before. Every single member of the Avengers were obliged by law to sign it." Natasha said.

"So did you guys sign it?" Laura asked.

"Some of us did, some of us didn't. Clint didn't sign it." Natasha answered tersely.

"What happens to those who don't sign?" Laura questioned warily, anxious to know about the potential consequences that awaited her husband.

"They'd no longer be part of the team and…they'd be forced into retirement." Natasha explained, throwing in the not-so-hard part first.

"Oh, okay… that doesn't sound too bad?" Laura heaved a sigh of relief.

"There's more. This document…" Natasha paused slightly and took a deep breathe "it created a state of disagreement within the Avengers. Downright tore the team apart. Cap disagreed with the terms while Tony insisted that we should all sign it. Sort of like a clash of the Titans type thing." Natasha sighed, releasing the breathe she took.

"So which side are you on?" Laura asked, her tone measured and cautious.

"I signed, but I don't know…" Natasha stared at her lap, shaking her head slightly.

"You had a change of heart?" Laura asked.

"My stand is a little bit more… complicated. Cap was worried about the changing agendas of the people behind the Accords and the possibility of the Avengers being misused for nefarious intentions. Frankly, I agree with Cap completely… Ever since the collapse of SHIELD in DC, I'm pretty sure that HYDRA is fully capable of infiltrating any organization they want, UN or not. I mean, if they had the ability to plant themselves within SHIELD – the world's leading intelligence agency – and stayed hidden in it for decades? What else can't they do? Planting a few HYDRA agents among UN representatives can't be harder than infiltrating an intelligence agency right?" Natasha tried to explain.

Laura, however, remained perplexed.

"But… I don't understand…if you agreed with Cap, then why'd you sign it in the first place?" Laura questioned, her face scrunched up in puzzlement.

"I guess I wanted to keep the team safe. I wanted the team to stay together and still do what we do without the world painting targets on our backs. Signing is a way to show the world that we are willing to take responsibility for our actions, politically at least. Figured that it can help us win back the world's trust in the Avengers, maintain good PR, that sort of thing. That's the only way we can operate without hindrance in the future, you see? Plus, I figured that once the Avengers are allowed to stick together, we can figure out how to deal with the political or evil agendas later on. The important part is that we stick together and stay safe. " Natasha explained. Her explanation, once again, seemed to confuse Laura even more as the latter shook her head.

"Nat, you said you signed because you wanted to keep the team safe and together, but isn't that only possible if they all signed? So how does your signing affect the decisions of the other Avengers? Unless… you think that your decision has some sort of influence over Cap's decision." Laura reasoned.

Oh, she's a sharp one. Natasha thought.

"Yeah, I guess I thought and hoped that my signing would change Cap's mind… I just… figured that choosing UN's side would be safest, for everybody. I mean, at least people won't start shooting at us if we played along. And once we're in good terms with the UN, we can try to pull strings from behind to make sure that everything's clean and HYDRA-free. I know it won't be easy, pulling strings from behind… but at least the team would still be together right?" Natasha shrugged, "Anyway, Cap and I… I feel we've gotten closer again this past year. Rebuilt our bond and everything. So I thought that if I signed…then he might… I don't know… give the Accords more thought, maybe? And if I could get Cap to sign, the rest would probably follow." Natasha explained further.

"From the looks of it, I'm guessing it didn't work. Else Cap wouldn't have called Clint for help…" Laura caught on.

"Yeah. But Cap calling Clint for help had nothing to do with the Accords though. Not directly anyway." Natasha clarified, which earned her another look of utter puzzlement from Laura.

"Then what's it for?"

So here goes…

"Cap's old war buddy, Barnes, The Winter Soldier, the one who shot me in DC, was allegedly caught on tape setting up an explosive device outside the building where the signing of the Accords took place in Vienna. We all thought that it was Barnes behind the attack, so we tried to find Barnes to bring him in. Turned out that Cap found Barnes first, in Bucharest, but Barnes convinced Cap that he wasn't the one behind the bombing. I don't know how Barnes did it, but somehow he had gotten Cap to believe him. So Cap attempted to hide Barnes from the Romanian authorities. There was a confrontation between Cap and the authorities. But in the end, Barnes and Cap were both arrested by Romanian Police. They were all transported to Berlin. Cap was outlawed from then on." Natasha reminisced.

"That's ridiculous…I mean, after everything that Cap has done for us? Why didn't they at least hear him out before arresting him? Surely he deserved a chance at explaining himself?" Laura shook her head in disappointment.

"I know. I knew this would happen because I know how these people operate. They just don't care. I tried to tell Cap to stay out of it... but he didn't listen." Natasha sighed and ran one hand through her hair.

"So what happened next? Was Cap locked up?" Laura inquired.

"If Tony and I hadn't been there, they probably would have locked him up. But Tony negotiated, and they agreed to release him. They took away his shield though. At that point, Cap was basically stripped of his title, his position as the leader of the Avengers, everything." Natasha said grimly.

"That's terrible. And unfair. He deserved better after saving the world so many times." Laura sighed.

"Yeah. I know. Sometimes I feel that the world doesn't deserve him, you know?" Natasha stated wistfully while staring at a spot on the coffee table. Laura nodded and nudged Natasha, a gesture denoting Laura's desire for Natasha to continue her narrative.

"Barnes was locked up in a tight cell, waiting to be evaluated by a UN psychiatrist. That was pretty much the point where everything went to hell. The psychiatrist who came in turned out to be a bogus. I have no idea what happened to the actual one who's supposed to come in, but the bogus knew how to mentally control Barnes. The bastard brought out the Winter Soldier, and the Winter Soldier fought his way out of the cell. We tried to stop him – Tony, me and a couple of others – but he managed to get to the helipad at the rooftop." Natasha continued.

"So he flew away in a chopper?" Laura queried, slightly shocked at the turn of events.

"No. By the time I got up there, I found the chopper crashed into the river below the building. We checked the security cams and saw what happened. Barnes had already fired up the chopper, and was already taking the chopper into flight, in fact, the chopper was already a good 15 feet off the ground when Cap ran towards the helipad and–" Natasha said before Laura cut in, clearly having caught on to what happened.

"Oh my God…did Cap…I mean did he…?" Laura said, her mouth agape and with a look of pure shock plastered on her beautiful features.

"Yep. He jumped up, grabbed the chopper's landing gear, lowered it to the ground just enough, then he held on to the gear with his right hand while grabbing a guard rail at the edge of the helipad with his left hand. We saw the Winter Soldier pushed hard at the lever, trying to get the chopper to fly off at full power; but God…Laura, Cap was pulling the chopper down, inch by inch to the ground. He stopped a chopper taking off at full power, with his bare hands…" Natasha explained, awestruck.

"But then how'd the chopper end up in the river?" Laura questioned after her initial shock had passed.

"We saw the chopper inching closer and closer to the rooftop. A few more seconds and Cap would have grounded the chopper. But The Winter Soldier didn't let him. He noticed that Cap has the strength to pull the chopper to the ground so instead of trying to get the chopper to fly off, he tried to crash it into Cap." Natasha explained.

"Gosh, is he alright?" Laura asked, her right hand covering her mouth.

"Cap avoided the crash. But when Cap got to his feet, the Winter Soldier had Cap by the throat with his metal arm. So Cap pushed the chopper's body to get it to fall off the edge and into the river below. That was how the chopper ended up in the river." Natasha continued.

"What happened next?" Laura asked.

"We've got not no eyes on them after they both fell into the river. But my guess is that Cap knocked the Winter Soldier unconscious and took him away." Natasha conjectured.

"So when he woke up next was he still the assassin?" Laura couldn't help her curiosity.

"When we saw him afterwards, he was Barnes again. He must have mentally recalibrated after being knocked out." Natasha answered and took a deep breath.

"So what happened next?" Laura prompted.

"Afterwards I guess it was around the time when Cap called Clint. Cap was recruiting for a mission. We didn't know what the mission was at first, but I figured he must have found out something from Barnes. That was the reason he called Clint. It was to help him with that important mission. Anyway, Tony and I had recruited a few new guys as well, for our own mission. But our mission was to bring Barnes and Cap into custody. So we confronted Cap, Clint and a couple of others at some airport in Germany. At first, we all thought that Cap was trying to help Barnes escape. But Cap told us that his mission was to stop 5 other Winter Soldiers from falling into the wrong hands and that he was taking Barnes along with him to raid the place where the soldiers were kept… But Tony… Tony didn't believe Cap's story, he thought that the Winter Soldier had manipulated Cap. So we… uh… ended up fighting each other." Natasha said remorsefully.

Laura was stunned into silence, not sure if it was by the fact that there were 5 other assassins or by the fact that the Avengers fought each other.

"So…um…you…fought… and hurt each other?" Laura asked when she finally found her voice.

"Yes…me and Clint, we fought each other…but we didn't hurt each other though. We were both pulling our punches. The fight between us was far less intense than our usual sparring sessions, trust me…" Natasha attempted to reassure Laura by reaching for Laura's hand in her lap.

"Oh, thank God… I thought that the bruises on your neck were from Clint. " Laura answered, visibly relieved.

"Oh, no… those were from Barnes. The Winter Soldier choked me when I tried to stop him from getting away in Berlin, when he was still under the psychiatrist's control." Natasha replied, her right hand unconsciously found her way to her throat, where the nasty purple bruises were.

"Did you believe Cap's story?" Laura asked.

"Yeah, I think I believed him, but only after the fighting ended. Given HYDRA's history, I figured that leads like that are worth checking out. In the end I helped Cap and Barnes get to a quinjet…I just…couldn't bring myself to fight him. So now he is probably off with Barnes somewhere, fighting a bunch of deadly assassins…" Natasha stated, her voice laced with dread and worry.

"But…you're worried about him…that's why you said you had to be somewhere…you wanted to help him…" Laura put the pieces together.

Natasha shook her head in frustration, "Yeah…he's outgunned and outnumbered, Laura. And his only backup is a mentally unstable super assassin that could easily be made to turn on him anytime… I should've gone with them… I shouldn't have stayed behind…"

"Wait, Nat. You said you helped them escape, wouldn't that make you a wanted person too?" Laura asked.

Guess Phil left out that part when he called Laura... Natasha thought.

"Yeah, I'm a fugitive now. But don't worry, I made sure that no one followed me here. Besides, this on the run thing is kinda my forte. I could certainly do with a good show of my prowess in espionage…" Natasha replied wittily, her face betraying a hint of a genuine smile.

"Nat, I still don't quite get it. Why didn't all the Avengers just go together with Cap? Verify Cap's story." Laura asked, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"That's the problem, the Avengers who sided with Tony on the Accords, sans me, didn't believe Cap's story. Those who believed in Cap were overpowered and arrested. Clint included." Natasha explained.

"Oh my God….." Tears slipped down Laura's cheeks.

Natasha remained silent, giving Laura some time and space to compose herself.

Laura spoke after a minute of silence, "Clint, where is he kept?"

Natasha mentally debated whether to sugarcoat the situation for Laura's sake, but in the end, she had elected to be completely truthful with Laura.

"All the arrested Avengers were kept in a high-tech underwater prison facility called The Raft…It's located somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean…" Natasha said, gauging Laura's facial expressions, attempting to broach the subject delicately.

"Is the prison safe? What if it was attacked and wouldn't they just… drown?" Laura spoke, her voice filled with desperation.

"Laura…look at me… the facility is safe. Its high tech. Stark's AI would be monitoring it 24-7. So if anything happens, Stark would bust them out of there right away. It wasn't Stark's idea to put them there in the first place…" Natasha stated firmly, staring deep into Laura's eyes.

"How long…? How long will they be kept there?" Laura addressed the elephant in the room.

"As far as I can tell right now, probably for the rest of their lives…" Natasha quickly pulled a panicking Laura into her arms, "Laura…Laura…hey… calm down, I won't let that happen and I think Cap won't allow it either. When Phil gets here, I'm gonna track down Cap's location and find him. Then together, we're gonna break them out of the Raft…I promise you…" Natasha ran her fingers through Laura's hair.

"I…Is that even possible? You said its high tech and that it's underwater?" Laura remained doubtful.

"Steve and I will figure it out. The tech won't be a problem, I can hack my way inside and remotely gain control of the Raft's systems. Once I gain control, Cap can get in. Security is tight inside but Cap's a brilliant tactician, he'll know what to do… so we'll get them out. I promise." Natasha reassured in a firm tone.

"But isn't the Captain on his way to face off with some super assassins? What if he…" Laura stated warily. Natasha tensed up visibly at Laura's insinuation.

Didn't make it back alive. Natasha mentally completed Laura's sentence.

"I know…I'm worried about that too…that's why I need to track down Cap and get him some help ASAP…But before Phil gets here, all we can do now is to hope that Cap knows what he's doing. Hey, on the bright side though, Cap's got a pretty good track record – as long as he doesn't go into his self-sacrificial mode, obviously. The guy was badass during World War 2. And remember New York? Cap led the 5 of us – who barely knew each other for a day – to victory against an entire army of aliens. Plus, he had only just got out of the ice at that time. So, it's safe to say that he knows what he's doing most of the time." Natasha went into full optimistic mode, trying desperately to reassure Laura and if she was honest, to reassure herself.

Laura sighed in relief upon hearing Natasha's words. Having calmed down slightly, Laura pulled away from Natasha's arms while the latter reached for the box of Kleenex stashed underneath the coffee table, and handed said item to Laura.

"Okay…yeah…I guess you're right. He is Captain America after all…I wonder how he takes it though, with the burden of so many lives on his hands…adjusting to 70 years of time skip and all that…" Laura wondered out loud as she blew her nose with the Kleenex.

Natasha's expression softened at the question. Her posture eased and relaxed. At that moment, a rare aura of openness surrounded the usually guarded superspy.

"I wonder about that too…He's just…good… too good, and pure. You know, he has this… this… obsession. This obsessive compulsion to always do what was right. Thing about Steve is that he just won't ever stop...he'd never stop until he had saved eve– What?" Natasha stopped her words when she saw Laura staring knowingly at her.

"So…Steve." Laura asked, a hint of a smirk betraying her features despite the fact that she was literally sobbing just seconds ago.

"Steve what?" Natasha said warily, dreading the direction their conversation was heading towards.

"You like him…" said Laura, causing Natasha's brows to draw together.

"Uh…yeah…I mean, who doesn't, right?" Natasha deflected.

"Oh please, Nat. You're gonna have to do better than that."

"I… don't understand what you mean…" Natasha averted her eyes from Laura's. Liar, Liar, pants on fire.

Laura scoffed, "Nat, there was a look of passion on your face when you talked about him just now. Don't bother denying it, because I saw it."

Natasha remained tight-lipped.

Laura's tone softened, "Nat, you know that I love you, right? So if you ever need to talk, please come to me, because hiding your feelings never works, and you know that."

At Natasha's silence, Laura continued, "Look, if you won't admit it to me, at least admit it to yourself, Nat. Living in denial isn't healthy…"

Natasha's shoulder sagged heavily and a sigh escaped her lips.

"I…uh…it's complicated…I care deeply about him, probably as much as I'm capable of caring for anyone. But I can't be with him, okay? I'm not right for him. He's too good and too pure…and I'm just… dirty. He deserves so much better, Laura, after all the sacrifices he'd made for the world, he deserves so much better, so much better than me. I'm damaged goods." Natasha said weakly.

"Wow, that's a lot of bull in one breath. I'm impressed." Laura said dryly.

"Look, you know that I'm not… normal. I'm not…" Natasha sighed, "I can't have what you and Clint have, Laura. A family. A home. Stability. All those things in life that Steve deserves, I won't be able to give him." Natasha's voice cracked a little at the end.

"But are you sure that those things are really what Steve wants?" Laura asked pointedly.

"I…" Natasha hesitated.

"You…?" Laura prompted.

"They're what he deserves." Natasha stated sharply.

"But are those things what he wants?"

"They should be."

"Oh, Nat. You have no idea, don't you? You've never talked to him about this." Laura observed.

"I don't need to talk to him to know that he wants those things, Laura. It's all over his face. I saw the way he acted when he was here 1 year ago. He was there, standing at the main entrance, staring into the hallway. Then he just turned around and walked away. Didn't even re-enter the house until dinner. But his face… it was all over his face. His face looked sad. Like he was mourning the loss of something that could've been his. He wanted this," Natasha gestured around the house, "this is what he had missed 70 years ago. It's what makes him happy."

"What if you can make him happy too? Ever considered that?"

Natasha scoffed, "Me? Make him happy? Please. The only way I can make him happy is by finding a good woman who can give him all those things that he deserves, those things that he clearly wants."

"And what if that woman is you?"

"Then there will be some other woman out there who could do better, a woman who is perfect for him." Natasha stated harshly. A woman who actually deserves him. Like Sharon. Natasha thought bitterly.

"Then you're gonna be disappointed, Nat. Because you two are just perfect for each other." said Laura with a confident smile.

"But-" Natasha tried to cut her off.

"More than you know it, Nat. More than you know it." Laura stated firmly, but made no effort in commenting further on the issue. Laura knew that she had pushed Natasha enough for one night. Having known Natasha extremely well, Laura knew that the smarter move would be to give Natasha some space and let her work through her own feelings.

The room was silent except for the sound of crickets chirping.

Natasha broke the silence after a minute, figuring that it was time for her to pull the conversation to safer waters.

"I'm so sorry Laura…about everything… If I had sided with Cap from the beginning, Cap wouldn't have had to contact Clint and y'all won't have to be dragged into all of this." Natasha said regretfully.

"Nonsense, Nat. You and I both know that it would end up pretty much the same even if you had chosen Cap's side from the start. Think about it, if you sided with Cap, you'd probably be jailed by now, and we both know that Clint would do anything to break you out of there, and if he did, he'd be a wanted man too." Laura's gaze held Natasha's green eyes.

Guess Laura has a good point.

"I promise you Laura, I'm gonna do everything I can to get them out…I swear. Then everything will be okay." Natasha stated with a fiery tone, her eyes flashed with determination and strength.

"Thank you, Nat. I believe you, but you be careful okay. I don't want to lose you too." Laura said, reaching for Natasha's hand.

"Thanks… But I have a feeling that Cap's gonna be doing all the heavy lifting anyway. I'd probably need to stay on the computer and remotely control the Raft's systems." Natasha said.

More cricket chirping ensued.

Time to address the other massive elephant in the room. Here goes…

"What are you gonna tell the kids?" Natasha asked warily.

"Just the usual I guess, just tell them that their father will be away for a long mission with you." Laura answered nonchalantly.

Okay… that certainly went a lot easier than Natasha had originally thought.

"Yeah…I guess that's good. I'd hate to spook them… and oh, Phil had the farm under surveillance 24-7. It's uh…2 of Phil's trusted agents, so it should be fine. You'd barely notice them. Is that okay with you?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah… I guess it'd be better if somebody's watching our backs. Is the farm in danger?" Laura asked anxiously.

"No, not at the moment, no. It's just a safety measure now that Clint's an outlaw. Phil will keep watch just in case. And also, if you have time, please have a suitcase packed in advance, just in case you guys need to evacuate. It's unlikely that you'll actually need to evacuate, but just in case…" Natasha explained.

"Okay…yeah…I'll do that…thanks, Nat."

"No problem…" Natasha answered.

Sensing that the conversation was over, Natasha sighed in relief and leaned her head back further onto the couch. At least the explaining bit was over… and Laura was taking everything quite well, thank heavens.

"Nat, you look exhausted. Why don't you go upstairs, wash up and get some sleep. I'll wake you up as soon as Phil gets here." Laura urged.

Natasha briefly pondered over Laura's suggestion. The farm is watched so I probably won't need to stay awake and guard the place. Catching a couple of hours of sleep makes me fresh and more efficient too. Oh, what the hell.

"Okay…Laura, but wake me up ASAP if you notice anything suspicious okay?" Natasha agreed.

"I will, Nat. Go. Get some rest." Laura ordered.

"I mean it, Laura. You must wake me up if there's anything okay? Anything suspicious at all. No exceptions." Natasha reiterated.

"I will, Nat. Promise. Now, go. And rest well." Laura reassured Natasha.

Natasha stood up from the couch and headed for the stairs, but stopped short at the bottom of the stairs, suddenly remembering the message Clint had asked her to deliver.

"Oh, by the way, Clint said to tell you to check the top drawer of your closet. Your anniversary gift. He said he placed it there before he left to help Cap with the mission; just in case he couldn't make it back on time for your anniversary." Natasha said with a wink.

"Oh…okay." Laura answered, her eyes teary.

"He also said to tell you that he loves you and the kids." Natasha delivered the final part of the message.

"Wait, when did he have time to tell you all this?" Laura asked curiously.

"Let's just say that fake fighting weren't all we were doing during the confrontation at the airport. We also had quite a lovely chat in between fake punches." Natasha answered with a smirk before turning around and ascended the stairs.

"Spies." Laura muttered under her breathe, albeit her features slowly morphed into a smile.

It was Laura Barton's first real, genuine and bona fide smile in days.