I'm trying to update this every day (*coughs awkwardly* okay so I missed a couple of days, I'm so sorry) but on the Casualty fanfiction page, if you update a story within 24 hours of a previous update, it won't show up as being updated - as in it won't go to the top as one of the recently updated. The chapter number will rise only (if that makes any sense... I apologise, it's hard to explain). So make sure you aren't missing any updates!
Disclaimer: I had writer's block. I don't like tuna and cucumber sandwiches. Forgive me.
Tuesday, 20 November 2015
Cal made a mistake. A huge mistake. One he didn't think Ethan would ever forgive him for.
Lily's text was a simple one (one that sounded much like a doctor being concerned for the welfare of a patient). Hello, Cal. I'm on my break, is it okay to come up? Would you like me to bring you any lunch (unless you've already had some, then in that case, good)? You've got to keep your strength up, you don't want to have another incident. Lily
The incident she was referring to was two days ago, when Cal had nipped out to the loo and passed Lily on the way, only he'd become dizzy.
"You need to remember to eat, Cal."
He did… most of the time. But it was hard to remember when he was so focused on Ethan.
He'd sent a simple text back. yh, course you can. a sandwich wld b cool thnx. cal
And then came the mistake. Lily had walked into the room, wielding a sandwich and a smile. She handed Cal the sandwich (which he tried to pay for but she refused to take his money) and started talking a bit to Ethan.
But Cal wasn't focused on their conversation. He was more focused on what the sandwich packaging said.
Tuna and Cucumber Sandwich
Cal just stared at it, certain he was misreading it. He was sure he hadn't told Lily to get him this one, in fact he even checked the text. Then came the mistake. He hadn't specified at all. He would have done if he hadn't been so preoccupied. He was helping his brother, after all.
But this… Ethan would never forgive him for it.
Ethan hated the smell of tuna. And Cal wasn't so keen on it either. He could write a book… okay maybe a chapter in a book about his dislike for tuna and cucumber sandwiches. They were vile.
Lily's pager went off. Cal brought his eyes away from the thing in his hand and looked at her.
"Eat. You need it." Lily said (slightly patronisingly, I'm not a child, thank you very much.) "Get well soon, Ethan." She glanced at her pager again then walked out.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, Ethan sighed.
"S-ss-soon," Ethan said grumpily. "S-so-on? S-sser-ious-sly?"
Cal laughed in spite of the situation. "Oh cheer up, Nibbles. You're about to smell your favourite sandwich." He opened up the packet, careful not to let Ethan see the label or the sandwich itself.
It only took a moment for the smell to reach Ethan. He groaned. "C-Callll!"
"Not my fault, Nibbles. Blame Dr Chao."
Ethan huffed and made a sound of discontent.
Cal, knowing he had to eat this if he didn't want to be rude and didn't want to leave Ethan, braced himself. He could already feel the soggy bread on his fingers.
As he raised it towards his mouth he made sure not to breathe through his nose. He wasn't going to subject himself to more torture than necessary. His teeth reached the bread, his mouth closed around it, and he took a bite…
…and was almost sick.
Wow that tuna tasted a lot like tuna. Strong, straight from the sea tuna.
Except dead and covered in mayonnaise.
Seriously, who the hell would eat this for pleasure? The cucumber made the bread soggy. The mayonnaise made the bread soggy. The tuna gave you bad breath for the rest of the day and the smell - eugh - it's hard to even bring it to your mouth with that smell!
And Ethan wasn't best pleased, in fact he had refused to look at Cal until he finished it and had a mint. After all, even though Ethan wouldn't say it, Cal knew he wanted Ethan just as much as Ethan wanted Cal. And he wasn't going to let him go and brush his teeth, or even just get another sandwich.
He powered through it. Surprisingly not being sick once. Though the bread became soggier and soggier and the cucumber stopped tasting like cucumber and started to just taste like tuna. Everything started to taste like tuna.
It had tainted the cucumber, would you believe that? It even destroyed the one pure thing left in that Goddamn sandwich!
He only managed three quarters of the lunch before he gave up. He put it back in the soggy Goddammit box in absolute disgust and hastily retrieved one of the last remaining mints from his pocket and hastily popped it in his mouth.
The refreshing taste of peppermint exploded in his mouth and he spent a moment just lavishi -
Jesus Christ! Tuna in his teeth.
Even the mint was tainted now.
The tuna mint was nearly dissolved in his mouth when Ethan said, "Ca-l-leb, I r-re-mem-ber s-some-th-thi-nnng," out-of-the-blue.
If Cal thought tuna and cucumber sandwiches were bad, it was nothing compared to choking on a tuna mint and tasting his lunch again. Twice. First, Ethan had avoided certain words where he could, like longer or harder words. So by choosing to use Caleb rather than Cal, like the old Ethan would, made part of his sandwich resurface.
Tuna and cucumber, no less!
And the second reason - he remembered something else. It was always nice to hear that, to hear Ethan say he remembered something else. But it was the way be said it. Usually he was excited. But he sounded… sad.
Cal swallowed what was left of the mint and sat forward. "What do you remember, Eth?" He took a drink of his water to get rid of the last of the taste.
"H-Hon-nnney."
Cal almost choked on his drink (gosh he really should have better control over himself). "Honey? As in… your…"
He perked up a bit and smiled. "G-gir-llf...f-f...frie-nd. Y-yes."
"Right."
Ethan nodded fast. "I re-me-mber h-her nnn-ow."
Cal started to dread the conversation to come. Honey had just… left one day. Gone when Ethan started to wake up. And Ethan, a very fragile Ethan, didn't know. He had to stall, had to give himself more time to think. To come up with an answer.
"Okay. And…?"
Ethan raised his eyebrows. "W-wh-ere?"
"Where's Honey?"
Ethan nodded.
Cal placed his water on the bedside cabinet, preparing himself for whatever outcome this would bring. "Well, you see." He cleared his throat. "The thing is, Ethan, she -"
Ethan was looking at him eagerly.
"- um... well, she... I mean... what happened was..."
Suddenly, Ethan started to laugh. Cal was more shocked with that sound coming from Ethan than what he was laughing about… Ethan hadn't laughed like that since before the attack.
It was a sound that warmed his heart up.
"I-it does-nn't t-tak-e a g...g-geni-us…"
Cal wasn't sure whether he was relieved that Ethan knew or sad that he did know. "I'm sorry, Ethan."
"D-don't-t c-care. I h-ha-ve you."
"I hope you're not suggesting we sleep together, Ethan!"
"W-we n-nev-er d-did a-any-way."
"Woah, Nibbles. Too much information."
Ethan laughed once more, seemingly happy that he managed to trick Cal and make him very uncomfortable. Cal vowed never to take that sound for granted ever again.
Cal used to always find things like this boring. But now it concerned his brother, it definitely wasn't boring anymore.
Dr McKay was explaining how Ethan's progress was going. What they expect to happen, what has happened, what is good and no so good. How different things had affected other things.
"I mean we expect some damage to brain cells due to the lack of oxygen, twice."
Ethan coughed slightly to get Dr McKay to stop talking. "I-I th-ou-ght i-it w-a-ss o-n-ly on-ce."
Cal shrank back into his chair.
Dr McKay looked confused. "What was? The lack of oxygen?"
Ethan nodded. Dr McKay realised what was going on and looked to Cal disapprovingly.
"Cal," he sighed.
"C-Ca-llle-b?"
"You need to tell him."
Right, thanks mate. You've dropped me right in it!
"T-tell m-mme w-wh-at-t?"
Cal looked away from Ethan, his eyes focused on a dirt spot on the glass.
"I'll give you two a few minutes," Cal heard Dr McKay say. He waited until he knew he was outside, and just like if he was talking to nothingness, he explained. After all, it's easier talking to a smudge than your little brother.
"A couple of months ago, when you were still… you know, I maybe had a few too many to drink. It was stupid, I know. I was stupid. I thought you were never going to wake up so I drank a bit. I was tired and scared and worried and I didn't want to lose you. So I did what I always do. I just drank a bit. Anyway, so I thought, well I don't know what I was thinking… you were just… lying there. I had watched you lie there for weeks and weeks and it terrified me! It absolutely terrified me! And I thought that there was no point prolonging anything. I was drunk. You were almost dead. Oh Ethan -" he finally turned to look at his silent brother, who had a look of shock etched on his face. "- I'm so sorry. I started to mess around with the wires and machines. Ethan I could have killed you. I had to be dragged away, I am so, so sorry. That's why he said twice. Because it was twice. Once because of the attack. Once because of me." He finally paused and stared at Ethan.
Ethan was completely still and completely silent.
"Eth? Please say something, Nibbles."
Nothing.
"Please, Ethan!"
Panic-at-casualty: Don't worry about it, seriously! *passes glue for your breaking heart* xD It must be so difficult for Cal, knowing he can help but not being able to because of his position - and for more things than just Ethan's seizure. I think that's what makes it so hard for him, especially at the beginning of this story. He's a brother, not a doctor. Not in this case. I don't want to make this story TOO sad, I write far too much angst for my own good xD. Well I hope this chapter lived up to what you wanted! Thank you for your review!
casslourocks: That was a journey right at the start of your review haha! Unfortunately yes, but good will come from it eventually! I love the brothers (I mean it's hard to tell, right?) so right now, any excuse to write them like that and I will. Aww, you're so sweet, thank you! And thank you for your review!