Author's quote: "Everyone sees him laugh but only she sees him cry" Arleen Sorkeen
To say Harley was happy was the understatement of the decade. She was ecstatic! She was on cloud fucking nine! Hell, she could spend the entire weekend on Arkham Asylum filled with meds and shock therapy and she would be bearing a huge smile on her face. However, she was also confused. Marriage was the combination of everything her pudding hated most: the law, commitment, serious stuff, routine, certainty…
He hated certainty. He always liked the fact that he never knew his name. A named meant he was human. That there was someone behind the laughter. Over the years and with her psychiatric skills, she came to the conclusion that the idea of being someone before being the Joker terrified him simply because he feared he wasn't that special after all. It would mean he was just a regular Joe who had a bad day. However, she would never say it aloud. He did have a few candidates to his possible name and past, though. Every now and then, he would wake up screaming in terror in the middle of the night, say a name and destroy a part of the carnival they lived in. "Jack Napier", and he shot the carrousel with pistols. "Edward Blake!" and he would throw grenades in the glass house. "Jerome Velaska" and shotguns to a school bus that had been marooned in the parking lot. Sure, it made some nights with her a living hell, but at least he was at 'piece' when the morning came
Harley's doubts were only made stronger today.
He woke up screaming again. A loud squeal that got Harley scared he was actually hurt this time. She tried to hold him but he was still breathing loudly and confused
"Edward Blake…" He said at first. He breathed for a second trying to calm himself down. Harley was getting used to the calm when again he said "Jerome Velaska". This time, he was looking at her. He reserved this look only for her. No one could ever see him weak. Only her.
"Puddin? They're all coming back?" she said, concerned
"Yes! Ed, Jerome, Jack, Jonathan, another Jack… Everyone! I need some… I have to…" And he ran off to his usual antics of blowing up the carnival.
That's what happened when her Puddin' got the slightest memory of his own past. The whole idea seems even more bogus now than it did a few hours ago. Why in the hell would a guy so afraid of constancy and normality ever want to get married? It made no sense at all. This had to be the worst name crisis he's ever had. Usually, he'd get one memory and be done with it. Why were they all coming back at once?
When Harley found him, he was treating the Ferris wheel to a new coat of machine gun fire. She had to approach him carefully. Rocco was one of his most trusted henchmen and when he tried to talk to him in this state, Joker kneecapped him by accident. This time he was aiming a little higher, so double the care.
"Mistah J?" she asked loudly, trying to compensate the firing noise.
"Harley?" He asked, no trace of aggression in his voice. "What the hell are you doing here? I could have shot you, you lousy waste!" this time with more bark to it
"I was just… curious…" She said. She would have to tread lightly on this one. She was about to enter one of his most secretive and uncomfortable subjects
"Curious?" He said
"Yes. You always keeping saying those names but you never say anything about them. Do you remember anything else?"
"Of course I do! Their entire miserable lives, is what I remember! Edward Blake, the army veteran who went cuckoo after coming back from Afghanistan. What a looser! He saw people die and he turned into me?! Pathetic! Jerome Velaska, the boy who grew up in a circus and murdered his mother because she was a bitch. At least this one was fun before being me. Joseph Kerr, Jack Napier number one, Jack Napier number two… They're all pathetic. I loathe the thought of being them. There's no reason for me! My name is Joker, you hear me?! And I'm not me because my wife died or because I did some fucked stuff for the mob. Fuck you!" He screamed in anger, making Harley scared. He proceeded to pick up the machine gun and firing it at the Ferris wheel again.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH" And he kept on laughing and firing, the laughter matching the machine gun as if to compliment the situation. Soon, his laughter turned to tears. The Ferris wheel was a wreck at this point. Joker dropped to his knees and started a sob
Harley walked to him and started hugging him. It was a rare occasion. He hardly ever cried or felt actual human emotions. At one point, she started to question if he had any. But he did. It was rare, but when it happened, she was the only one there to see it. A tamed beast.
"Mr. J, tell me about them. All of them. Maybe we can laugh at them together?" she said with a smile
He did. He told about them all. Edward Blake, army veteran. Spent a few years on Afghanistan and got dishonorably discharged after gunning down a civilian woman he had raped a few days back. Crime, Red Hood, Acid. Jerome Velaska grew up in a circus and killed his mother. Crime, Red Hood, Acid. Jack Napier A, joined a gang to support his pregnant wife. Jack Napier B, mafia hit man…
"Sometimes I only get a name. Like Johnathan Kerr. Get it? Joe Kerr? Hihhihahaha! Even then, I'm a genius"
"Hahahahahahaha, you sure are, puddin" She laughed with him. The doubt still fresh in her mind. Why would a man so terrified of knowing his own name would ever want to get married?
It is hard for her to kick her habits as a shrink, so she keeps analyzing people left, right and center. The biggest mistake everyone made when trying to figure her puddin' out was to classify him as a sociopath. He was not incapable of relating to other people's feelings; he just found the painful ones absurdly hilarious. She just kept holding him and latching on to her second thoughts about this whole wedding thing. As if sensing her doubts, he turned to her
"Have you started making plans, pumpkin?" He asked her. He looked at her with a soft smile. A smile she liked to call 'indoors Joker'.
"Plans?" She asked him with a confused look.
"Yes! Plans for our wedding! Where you want it, when you want it, how you want it… Don't you broads daydream about this kind of thing all day?" He said. 'If Red ever heard him say this…' she thought
"Well… I did have a dream wedding, but I'm guessing the Gotham Cathedral, red roses and a frilly white dress are out of the question" She said with a small laugh.
"Why the hell would it be? We are the clown royalty of crime! We can hijack the entire city for our marriage! Hell, we could even invite your family. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." He started laughing loudly "I'm guessing the Plant and the Cat are gonna the bridesmaids, then?"
Then, she got it. He was doing it for the joke. Just picture it! The wedding of Joker and Harley Quinn at Gotham Cathedral while they hold the entire city hostage! Sure, the honeymoon at Arkham would not be fun, but the entire thing would be a blast to plan and execute. It was the scheme of a lifetime! She would have been offended if she weren't as excited for the whole thing as he was.
"Of course, puddin'. And Bats is gonna be your best man, right?" She asked him like it was obvious
"My best m…" He looked offended for a second and then stopped to think about it. He grinned as maniacally as he could
"Darlin'…" he said, looking at her "And people wonder why I keep you around"
Author's note: The Edward Blake thing is a theory I loved about the Joker, so I decided to include it here as a possibility