Shane's P.O.V.
The first thing I saw was a fuzzy white light which stretched on forever. I… I really went through with it. Am I in Heaven?
...No. A tainted soul like mine would never make it into a place like Heaven. Just as that thought crossed my mind, my eyes started to come into focus. That ethereal white light was a series of squares, framed by grey lines. A ceiling. My peripheral vision picked up a blue curtain to my left and my ears began to pay attention to an intermittent beeping sound coming from outside of my line of sight. A sharp inhale ripped the film from my senses, catapulting my mind straight into reality. A hospital… This was a hospital.
Oh god, the pain. My head felt as if it had been pierced with a spear and my chest may as well have been filled with corrosive mucus, wreaking havoc all the way from my lungs up to my tonsils like a wildfire tearing through a forest in drought. My breathing grew heavier as my grip on my chest got tighter, my torso trying to wriggle up from laying down. What the hell happened to me…? How did I get in this state? A small gasp echoed from the gap in the blue curtain, and my eyes locked with a dark skinned nurse wearing glasses. "Doctor! He's awake!" Her voice carried urgency as she quickly fled from sight. Moments later and with just as much if not more urgency, a mustached man in a green coat came flying around the curtain. I recognised him - the local doctor, Harvey. So this is the clinic… I'd never seen the clinic from this side of the bed before. I couldn't decide which perspective was more depressing. Harvey pulled a chair next to where I was laying and sat down. "Shane… Can you hear me? Do you understand what I'm saying?" His demeanour and voice were calm, but his eyes were anything but. I gave a slow nod in return, before trying once again to hoist myself into a sitting position. "That's good- ah, please try not to move. You may still be injured."
"Doctor…" The sound of my own voice was almost alien. My voice box felt like it hadn't been used in years - like it had gathered dust. "What happened to me…?"
"Shane," his voice was professional and diplomatic now. He leaned forward on his chair warmly, placing his hand on my arm. "I'd like you to do what you can to remain calm whilst we talk." Something in my stomach turned. Harvey's words didn't bode well at all. "Maru," he signaled the nurse, "some water for the patient, please."
The doctor sat in a calm silence until Maru steadily guided me into a sitting position and handed me a glass of water. When he'd seen that I'd swallowed the first sip, Harvey started to talk in a low voice. "You were found sixteen days ago on the beach. Your heart had stopped. CPR had to be administered to bring you back to us. You've been unconscious ever since."
"I… I see…" The water in the glass rippled unnervingly against my breath. Suddenly I didn't want it near me anymore. "What… What happened?"
"Well," Doctor Harvey pushed his square framed glasses up his nose with a sigh, "I was hoping you could help me fill in some blanks there. No rush, of course. A few witnesses have been identified but none of them..." His voice trailed off. As the doctor spoke I noticed that he hadn't glanced at the clipboard on his lap even once. "Ahem. At 8:37 AM on Fall 28th, Willy heard a loud splashing sound from outside of his house and found you unconscious on the beach. You were soaked to the bone. It seems that you had drowned. Not only that, you had a copious amount of alcohol in your system. You were lucky to be saved, Shane." The doctor paused to let the information soak into my brain. The beach…? What was I doing there? I searched frantically for the memories but they just weren't there. I didn't remember being on the beach - not since Summer. The doctor produced a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped a bead of sweat from my brow. "Please try not to panic, Shane. It's okay. Can you tell me the last thing you remember?"
"The last thing…" The blurry image in my mind begins to focus as I stare at the white sheets. Black and orange. Rows of hedges, fake blood, pumpkins… Pumpkins. A huge, golden pumpkin. "...I remember the Spirit's Eve festival." No, that… Couldn't be it. Somehow the Spirit's Eve felt so long ago. There must've been something else.
"Ah, yes. That was the night before the incident on the beach. Marnie confirmed that you went home that night - she said it was the last time she saw you. Do you remember?"
"A little…" I vaguely remembered walking home toward the forest. I was… Happy? I remember the warm feeling in my stomach. But why? Something wasn't right with these memories. Some key part was missing, teasing my brain as if on the tip of my tongue but just ever so slightly out of reach. But one unpleasant memory did come creeping back - the way the sun's glimmer caught the edge of the fountain's water as she touched my face. That's right… I saw Amelie that day. A shudder passed through my body as the rest returned to me. Throat dry, I opened my mouth. "...I saw my ex."
"When was this? On the day of the beach incident?"
"Mm." I nodded gruffly. From then my memories passed straight through my mind and out of my mouth. "She made me late to work. My boss yelled at me… I punched him and then I left Joja. I had a few drinks, I don't remember how many, and then I went down to the beach and I-" Oh. The next set of memories entered my mind with a jolt that shut off my voice. In that moment it all made sense, and every part of me grew heavy as I averted my eyes from Harvey's. "Doctor, I… I remember now."
"Please, tell me." His voice was calm as ever and yet mine trembled uncontrollably.
"I went to the beach that morning. I jumped in the sea. I wanted… To end my life…" I wasn't sure which feeling was stronger; the shame at having said it out loud, or the raw disappointment that I hadn't succeeded. Dread and hopelessness enveloped me. What could possibly be left for me? Why was I still alive? I closed my eyes, pushing my palm into my forehead. The doctor was talking, calm and low, but none of it was getting through to me. I focused on the swirling darkness behind my eyelids, squeezing my eyes tighter, when suddenly-
"Ah-" two emerald lights flashed through my mind. The angel in the sea. Albina, throwing herself into the beast to save me. The missing fragments of my memories all clicked into place at once. Those eyes, those green eyes…!
"Shit!" The desk next to me clattered over as I sprung to my feet, the pain in my head and chest only spurring me on. "Where is she, Harvey?! Where is Rain?!"
"Wh-who?"
"Where the hell is Mirabelle?!" I screamed, tears forcing their way out of my eyes. Harvey's response nearly killed me then and there. My question didn't surprise him - instead, he gave me a small sympathetic smile. "Shane, listen to me calmly, please." his voice was almost a whisper, barely audible over the sound of the blood whooshing around my ears. "Mirabelle was found about half a metre away from you, on the beach. She was unconscious and her face was submerged in the shallow water. She's alive, but she-"
That was enough. I was through those blue curtains before I even knew it. The sprint down the clinic's corridor went in slow motion, but my attention was fixed on my destination. I almost didn't notice her sitting on the floor just outside the next cubicle - Haley. The once perfectly preened blonde hair was now a bird's nest, her makeup running all the way down her face underneath her empty eyes - a silent image of profound, unfixable regret. But I didn't stop until I was in front of another blue curtain. My hand trembled as I clutched it, but there was no time to hesitate - I cast it open with all my strength and the sight before me flung me to the floor. Wires... So many wires. Her small frame was riddled with them. She was unconscious, yet seemed so full of anguish. Her face, once bright and full of wonder, was now pale and seemed so fragile. I crawled over to her bedside and put my hand on hers. Warm… She's still fighting. But this is my fault… How could this happen…?! My heart broke ten times every second I spent looking at her face. I buried my face in the bed sheet, tears smudging all over my cheeks.
"Shane, you need to go lay back down," the doctor approached me from behind. "You're not well enough to be-"
"I can't lay back down!" my head shot up, my voice crackling in pain. "Look… Look what I've done!"
"What… What do you mean?"
"She…" Harvey's face was blurring into a mess of colours through my tear filled eyes, "she jumped in after me. To save me…!"
"To… To save you?" Harvey's head turned toward Rain's motionless body before moving back in my direction. I couldn't see his expression, but the trembling of his voice said it all. Long moments passed in stony silence but for the beeping of the heart monitor until finally Harvey collected himself and knelt beside me. "Shane…" His voice was a low, grave tone now. My eyes flicked up to meet his, and they were burning with urgency. "I know that you're shaken… But what I need from you right now is to stay as calm as possible and adhere to my instructions."
"I…" Still swirling around in a vortex of panic, I managed to calm myself for the Doctor, if only slightly. "Y-Yeah…"
"Okay." Harvey took a slow breath before beginning to speak again. "Right now, the most important thing you can do is tell me anything, anything at all, that you remem-"
"MIRA!" A shriek from behind me rung out in a familiar voice as footsteps sprinted into the room, stopping with heavy panting. Turning to face the sound, I saw him; the too-cool-to-care demeanour had melted away, leaving behind a frightened little boy with eyes wide and lips quivering, his dark clothes somehow seeming bigger on him than before. His body froze in place as he stared at her. It was like watching a ghost of myself from moments before.
"Sebastian, you can't be here." Doctor Harvey stood to face him, barely missing a beat. "We're dealing with a critical situation so as I mentioned yesterday morning, only witnesses are permitted to be in these rooms." Yesterday morning? Was there some sort of town meeting?
"W-Witnesses…" His gaze didn't falter from Rain for even a second, but somehow, with just one word he seemed to regain his sense of purpose. His voice descended into a choked whisper. "I… I'm here as a witness… Doctor."
"You are?" Harvey sprung to his feet. "It's been two weeks. Why haven't you mentioned this until now? No, nevermind that… Please tell me what you know."
"I-I had no idea it would… I didn't know this was going to h-happen…" His trembling voice was a mix of a sinner desperate to repent, and a child too afraid of chastisement to own up. Hesitantly, he continued. "I-I just wanted her to be with me… To be happy… I thought I could convince her to leave with me, but she wouldn't… This… I-It's all… My..." He forced the words out through tears and suddenly, the dots connected all the way up my spine, every penny dropped with a thunderous echo, and rage reached my legs before it reached my mind. I was before him now, his throat wrapped tightly in my palm, the slam of his head on the wall splattering tears out of his eyes straight onto my face. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!" My voice didn't even sound like mine. None of this felt real. I was a soldier of the devil, a vengeful oath in human form. Sebastian whimpered and stuttered inaudibly, his eyes forced open only by the streams of tears pouring out of them.
"Shane, wait! What on earth is going on here?!" Harvey was by my side almost instantly, though I barely noticed. I balled my free hand into a fist so tight my nails dug into my hand, but the pain only spurred me on.
"I-It's… All my f-f-fault…" The mess of a man before me whimpered in guilt. His body was limp, his nose and eyes both running in streams down his chin. It was… A pathetic image. The hot rage in my chest faded into sorrow, my palm aching as I unclenched my fist. How could I? I was more to blame than anyone else. I couldn't just use a scapegoat as a punchbag. I had to take… Some responsibility for what I'd done to Rain. Her jumping into the sea was on no one but me. As my grip around his neck loosened, his body slumped to the floor, and there he stayed, shaking, whimpering. As I watched him the pain was released from my cage of anger and assaulted my psyche again. "Agh…"
"Steady, there…" Harvey caught me as I stumbled and slowly guided me back to my hospital bed, the sorry scene behind me burned into the back of my eyelids. As I sat unsteadily on the bed, the doctor gave out a shaky sigh. "Really, now… You're still recovering. You need bedrest."
"...Doc, I… I think I… I know what…" I wheezed out between coughs.
Harvey just shooked his head lightly. "No rush. All in your own time." As Maru entered with a trolley of equipment, Harvey continued. "Now that you're awake, we need to do some tests. Might even be able to get you home today if Marnie will come pick you up."
Silently I nodded at his words as the nurse tightened a blood pressure reader around my arm. Doctor Harvey sat beside me and started to speak again, now using his clearly well rehearsed 'bedside-manner' tone. "There is… Something I think you ought to know first, however. It's about Mirabelle." His expression was unreadable, and his eyes didn't falter from mine for even a moment. The gravity in the room seemed to increase as he spoke. "As I mentioned before… Mirabelle's face was submerged in the water when she was found. The sea water is freezing cold at this time of year, so we also had to be wary of hypothermia. And as I'm sure you can recognise from what you just saw… She is in a far worse state than you have been for the past sixteen days. She is stable, but her condition is still serious. The next seven days will be critical in predicting her recovery. If we fail to see any significant improvement by then…" Harvey's gaze dropped. We both knew he didn't need to say anything more.
For the rest of the nurse's tests, I was, mentally at least, barely present. I was… Numb. Rain's life was now a waiting game, and I was powerless to do anything about it. Useless in the face of my own sins and without chance to repent. The sound of Maru wheeling the trolley out of my cubicle snapped me back to reality. I looked weakly at Harvey, who put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder before silently leaving me with my own thoughts.
Author's Note: (warning: slightly long and mushy this time) Hello! To everyone who's been waiting for this, please, please accept my apologies for how long it's been since I last updated. I know that chapter 21 was a really bad place to go on hiatus. Life got in the way and now I'm in my final year at university, so time really got away from me on this one. Please know I've been working on this chapter since about May, trying to get the feel of it just right. Thank you so, so much to everyone who's stuck around, and also all the new readers. A very special thanks goes out to all of you who have been writing me reviews, even despite me being away for so long - reading them not only gave me the drive to carry on writing this to the best of my ability, but also really touched my heart when I've been going through stuff in my personal life. So really, thank you all. As always, I'll try my very best to keep on top of this, life and coursework permitting. As mushy as it might sound, you guys have a very special place in my heart.
Also just as a side note, I'm not a medical expert or anything so I tried my best to get the terminology/facts of this chapter correct. For the stuff about being in a coma I used knowledge from one of my university modules I did last year so hopefully it's at least slightly accurate.
Okay, I hope you all have an amazing day! ~Nyannygiri