A means to an end.

That's all it was.

I wanted revenge; I needed to hurt her.

Not physically. I'd never be able to bring myself to hurt her physically, but I wanted to hurt her emotionally which is much worse.

I wanted to see the pain in her eyes when she found out. I wanted to relish in knowing she felt the same stab of betrayal and hurt as I did when I find out.

But I never imagined how it would end.

I never imagined the guilt and loneliness afterward.

It was just a means to an end.