A means to an end.
That's all it was.
I wanted revenge; I needed to hurt her.
Not physically. I'd never be able to bring myself to hurt her physically, but I wanted to hurt her emotionally which is much worse.
I wanted to see the pain in her eyes when she found out. I wanted to relish in knowing she felt the same stab of betrayal and hurt as I did when I find out.
But I never imagined how it would end.
I never imagined the guilt and loneliness afterward.
It was just a means to an end.
