Ryan nervously sat at the diner, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his estranged ex-girlfriend. Loosening his tie he looked around, realizing that he was sitting in the same booth that they had always used in high school. Talk about deja-vu. Actually this was the last place he could remember actually spending time with Marissa. A couple weeks before she was supposed to leave, the two of them had gotten together for breakfast here. Even though the fantastic four had fallen apart by that point, the two of them had remained somewhat close and tried to keep their friendship intact. But for some reason, after that, they stopped seeing each other and only talked on the phone until Marissa left for Rhode Island, and after that they didn't talk at all.

The tiny ding of the little bell hanging on the front door ripped him from his nostalgic thoughts. Looking towards the door, he immediately caught sight of Marissa's perfect form. She was wearing a pale pink simple sundress with a white cardigan covering her gaunt arms porcelain skin, still pale from the Rhode Island winter. He hadn't realized yesterday, but she was skinnier, a lot skinnier; and her eyes had dark rings around them that were only somewhat obscured by her make up. But as their eyes met across the room, she smiled so wide it lit up her whole face, and ignited a smile on his own face as well. He quickly waved her over as he politely stood up to greet her.

"Hey Ryan," she cooed out sweetly as she reached the table, allowing herself to be pulled into a greeting hug. It lingered, a little bit longer than what could be considered friendly, before they both pulled away and slid into the booth, grinning like idiots.

Running her hands up and down her sides as she got adjusted in her seat, Marissa's gaze ran over the interior of the restaurant. "Wow.." she breathed out quietly, "looks exactly the same as it did last time I was here. Seems like so long ago.." she trailed off as she looked back at Ryan who was watching her intently.

"Yeah, five years," he added in, not intending to sound harsh, but his words coming off with an edge despite it.

Marissa smiled weakly and nodded before breaking eye contact with him. She always felt bad about how she left, but it was just too stressful for her at the time and she didnt know how else to deal but just to leave without making a fuss about it- just to make a quiet exit. She caught sight of his tie and decided to change the subject to him. "So you go to work already today?" she curiously asked while motioning to his tie. Looking down he grabbed his tie between his fingers, fiddling with it, and shrugged.

"Yeah, I just had a few things to finish up," he answered nonchalantly, even though he was bold faced lying. The only reason he had gone to work on a Sunday morning was to get away from Katie and get his mind off of Marissa. The ladder proving to be impossible no matter how deep he burried himself in contracts and blue prints.

"Kirstin was telling me yesterday about how great you've been doing," Marissa explained, a smile gracing her lips as she thought about how proud Kirstin had seemed of Ryan, and how Marissa actually felt proud of him herself. "She said you've been making a ton of deals and a few different firms have been trying to hire you.."

"I've gotten a few job offers," Ryan admitted, blushing humbly, "but I'm really happy where I am right now."

"And that is..? Where?"

"Well I have an office space down town I share with a few guys, but I work independently and just sell my designs to different companies," he explained, but realizing he still had his tie in his fingers, he flicked it around in the air, a smile on his face, "so I guess I have no one to impress at work, so I just wear the tie to make me look better," he joked as he let it fall back on his chest. Marissa chuckled, nodding at him as the waitress came up to the table. Both of them ordered the same thing, black and white milkshakes, cheeseburgers and extra fries, just like they had in high school. As the waitress left, Marissa started the conversation right back up again, fascinated more than she would ever tell him to hear about his life while she was away.

"So you still went to Berkeley, right?"

"Yep, yep," he answered with a nod and a warm smile, loving the way she seemed to actually care. "Four years at Berkeley with a double major in structural engineering and design."

"Wow, someone was busy.." she gently teased with a smile. "But I bet it was a lot of fun though, right?"

"Yeah, it was a lot of work, but I had some fun too," he remembered with a smile. "I guess you could say I was a partier. The fraternity I was in had tons of parties so.."

"Wait, wait, wait," Marissa interrupted him quickly, leaning forward as her eyes bugged out, a shocked smile on her face, "YOU were in a fraternity?"

"Yeah, Kappa Sigma. I got hazed so bad, but it was worth it I guess.."

"Wow," she said, shaking her head absently. "I never pictured you as a frat boy," she stated absently, before actually trying to picture it in her head and laughing out loud.

Ryan grinned, his whole face scrunched into a smile as he listened to her feminine giggles, loving the way she laughed. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing," she tried to assure him as her giggles subsided, rubbing slightly at one of her eyes as she tried to regain her composure. "I was just trying to imagine you partying. Actually, I was picturing you drunk dancing," she explained, as she starting to giggle again.

"Oh, so that's funny, huh?" he asked, trying to act serious, but his smile betrayed his voice as he subconsciously flirted, falling back into some comfort zone he hadn't been in in five long years.

"You have no idea," she informed him as her giggles stopped, leaving behind only her smile. She looked at him for a long moment. Really looked at him. He was different. College had definitely changed him. Her smile started to fade off her face as she became serious again, struggling with her in her head with her regrets and her current place life. She sighed, "Ya know, sometimes I wish I would have gone to school.." she quietly thought out loud.

Ryan's face scrunched in confusion, "You didn't?" She just shook her head in response, starting to fiddle with her hands on the table. "I thought that was why you went to Rhode Island. To go to Providence College while Summer went to Brown?"

"Well that was the plan," Marissa started to explain as she looked down at her hands, "but I found out I was pregnant and..." she trailed off, looking back up at Ryan. "It didn't seem that important anymore."

Ryan nodded softly, understanding where she was coming from but at the same time having absolutely no idea. The waitress came at that point, completely interrupting their conversation, and set down their food in front of them. She asked if they needed anything else, and Ryan quickly answered no, waving her off as quickly and politely as he could. Neither of them ate anything, or even touched their food other than Marissa's absent flicking around of her fries, as Ryan continued where they left off.

"When did you find out?" he asked hesitantly, really wanting to hear every little thing, but not knowing what she wanted to say. She bit her lip, her eyes looking up and back almost as if she was looking at a calendar on the ceiling as she tried to pinpoint a date.

"Um, like a week or two before I left."

"Really?" he asked immediately, completely surprised that she knew while they were still talking, and she never told him. She quickly nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "I would have been there for you.."

"I know you would have." She let out a soft sigh as she tried to figure out the best way to say this. "Its just that.. Well.. I guess it is just that. That's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to feel like you had to be there for me. I mean, its not like you are the father so.."

"Who is the father?" Ryan interrupted her a little too anxiously. She bit her lip and looked down and immediately he felt bad. "Sorry, its none of my business.."

"Its fine.."

"No, I shouldn't have asked..."

"Really Ryan, its fine," Marissa assured him in a firm, yet somehow soft voice. "Its Kevin. Volchok is Aiden's dad."

"What?" he immediately shot out, his jaw hanging open from shock while his eyes squinted in confusion. Marissa nodded slowly, flinching and trying to ignore how disgusted Ryan had sounded. "Sorry its just.." he trailed off before looking her straight in the eye, "I thought you guys were over after what happened at prom?"

"We were, but that obviously didn't last," she conceded, a self-deprecating tone in her voice. "But I don't know, I got really nervous about leaving California and going to college and moving on from high school and I just needed someone, you know?"

Ryan nodded softly even though he really had no idea. He thought he was there had been there for her. He remembered Marissa and him being close right after graduation even though Seth and Summer weren't talking at all. They had flirted some, and that could have materialized into something, but he wanted them to have time apart, even though he still thought they would be together in the end. Well maybe if he had ended up with Marissa that summer- he'd have a kid himself right now.

"Does he know?" he asked after a long moment of silence, expecting the opposite answer of what he got.

"Yeah, he knows. I told him right after I found out," Marissa explained letting out a shaky breath. It was still painful for her to think about how Volchok reacted. It didn't hurt her because she missed him or anything like that, it hurt her because her son would never know his dad. "I mean I was all ready to stay. I knew the second I took the test and it was positive I was going to have it.. there was no way I could have gotten rid of it. I just couldn't... and I didn't want to leave town and take the baby away from its dad.. and I mean Volchok was an asshole a lot of the time, but I've seen him be sensitive and sweet before, I thought he'd at least want to be there for his own child.."

Ryan watched her sympathetically, but he could feel the anger boiling inside him at Volchok at the same time. "But he didn't?"

Marissa shook her head sadly, her lips in a grimace while her eyes were wide and glassy. "He was so mad at me.. like it was all my fault and I was purposely ruining his life... We got in this huge screaming match about what I should do and it ended with him telling me get out of his apartment and not to call or comeback until I had an abortion.. So that's what I did- I left and I haven't talked to him since.."

"God, Riss, I'm so sorry. I had no idea," Ryan breathed out, inadvertently using his old nickname for her and making her smile slightly at him. "What an asshole. I cant believe he would leave you on your own like that.."

"I can, its Volchok," Marissa spat out sarcastically, trying desperately to joke and lighten the mood from the somber mood it was in.

"Well yeah, but still.. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Yeah, but I think it turned out for the better," she replied, attempting at some optimism. "I mean me and Aiden did okay out in Rhode Island.."

"..and his mom did an amazing job raising him.." Ryan added in smiling warmly at her, loving the way she slightly blushed. Sensing her discomfort with how much she had shared and that she wanted to move on, he motioned down at his burger. "We better eat this stuff before our food gets too cold," he suggested. Marissa smiled softly and nodded before immediately digging into her burger, making him chuckle to himself.

"So Ryan," Marissa started a few minutes later, after having down half of her burger. "Got any girls your dating? Any models? Dancers? ...Strippers?"

Ryan started to laugh with a chunk of food in his mouth so hard he had to hit his chest to stop from choking. "Strippers?" he repeated dumbly with a mouth full of cheeseburger, laughing out loud. He quickly swallowed his food before continuing. "No, no strippers."

"Well not just strippers," Marissa said laughing as Ryan took another bite. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Ryan continued to chew his food as long as he could, until it was in almost molecule form as he decided how to answer that question. Audibly swallowing, he decided his answer. "Nope, I'm single."

"Really?" Marissa asked dumbfounded to which Ryan just nodded slowly. "Hmm.. I don't believe you."

"What?" he asked panicking as he thought he was caught in his little lie.

"I don't believe you," she repeated, smiling smugly as she leaned on her elbows on the table. "You're a young, brooding, successful architect/ frat boy, who is very charming and somehow learned to be funny since the last time I saw him. There's no way you're single."

"Well are you dating anyone?" Ryan started, trying to turn it back on her.

"Psch, are you kidding me," Marissa shot out, dripping with sarcasm. "I don't think I've dated in years."

"Hmm.. I don't think I believe you either," Ryan tried to joke, making Marissa roll her eyes, still smiling.

"I think the last time I dated, Aiden was one, and Summer set me up with some guy she met at school," Marissa started to explain, completely laughing at how pathetic her romantic life has become. "He took me to some restaurant, and half way though Summer called me because Aiden had diaper rash. The guy freaked out since Summer had forgotten to mention the fact that I had a kid. He basically dropped me off at the curb and sped off before I had shut the door all the way."

"Geez, what an ass" Ryan retorted, scrunching his face up at her story.

"No its fine," Marissa assured him. "I mean, I have Aiden, so I don't really have time for a boyfriend or really need one. Plus, I wouldn't want him to get attached to someone and then we break up or something, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Ryan agreed, remembering back to his own childhood with his mom and a million different guys. Marissa really was a great mother. "But you really haven't dated since he was one?"

"Hey, don't try and rub it in," Marissa retorted as she reached across the table and playfully smacked him. "Actually its really nice sometimes. A creepy guy comes up to me at a bar and all I have to do is tell them I have a kid and they do an about face." Ryan laughed out loud, shaking his head absently at her.

Suddenly the ringing of her cell phone broke through their laughing, pulling Marissa out of the conversation as she dug in her bag.

"Nice ring tone," he gently teased her as the spongebob theme played in the air. She stuck her tongue out at him just as she placed her phone to her ear.

"Hello?.. Oh hey sweetie. Are you having fun with grandma? Yeah, I know I promised.. Its not that late yet, is it?.. Oh I'm sorry sweetie, I'll be there soon.. Love you.."

Ryan smiled to himself as he heard Marissa on the phone, obviously with Aiden, as he finished the last few fries in his food. He looked up from his plate as he heard her phone shut.

"Aiden?"

She nodded softly as she put her phone away. "Yeah, I promised him I would take him some where and I'm really late so.. I kinda have to go," she explained, the disappointment obvious on her face.

"Oh, sure, that's fine," he agreed wiping his hands with his napkin, trying to mask his own disappointment. "Where are you guys going?"

"The beach," she started, smiling to herself at how excited Aiden sounded on the phone. "He just figured out last when we left Sandy and Kirstin's that the ocean was the ocean and not a lake, so he wants to go see it."

"I see," he said as he chuckled. "Well I'm sorry if I held you up.."

"No, of course you didn't hold me," she interrupted with a smile. "I had fun."

"Me too," he agreed with a smile. "We should do it again sometime.. maybe some place a little nicer?" he offered.

Thinking for a second, Marissa wondered if he was asking her on a real date. She wasn't sure, but he was single and so was she, so she guessed it didn't matter. "Sure. I'd love to."

"Great." He warmly smiled as he stood up with her, giving her a hug that mirrored the one he gave her when she arrived. Pulling away she smiled at him, before turning on her heel and heading towards the exit. "I'll call you!" he called after her. She turned and gave him one last wave before disappearing out the door. Ryan sighed to himself, letting his body limply fall back into the booth. Running his hands over his face, he wondered how he could have such a great time with her after such a long time apart. They fit so well, he just wished he would have been strong enough to keep in touch with her while she was gone. He wished they hadn't spent so much time apart.

&&&&&

Ryan drove around Newport for a few after he left the diner, lost in his thoughts. He wondered if he had done the right thing by lying to Marissa about Katie. He supposed he hadn't, but at the same time, he knew that if he had told her it would have set a different tone to their friendship from now on. Maybe that was leading her on, but he didn't see it as so. He just had to break up with Katie, and soon. Then it would be okay.

Driving towards his apartment, he passed the same stretch of beach that held the lifeguard tower he spent so much time at during high school, and still went to occasionally. Surprisingly though, the thing that caught his eye was the dark red SUV belonging to the one and only Julie Cooper. Making a sharp turn into the parking lot, he parked as far away as he could from the SUV, and immediately saw the mother-son pair at the brink of the water's edge. Climbing out of his car, he moved and leaned against the front, sitting down on the trunk. He watched, memorized as Aiden and Marissa ran around, chasing each other with just their bare feet dipping into the water.

Marissa had on a pair of short denim overalls, a black bikini underneath and her hair was cascading down her back, flying behind her as she ran around. Aiden chased her in his little red swim trunks, sending splashing at his mom as he went. The sun was setting, and the yellow and pink tones covered them, making the whole scene seem so perfect.

Suddenly Aiden stopped, screaming out in pain. Marissa was immediately at his side, when Aiden's faced broke into a huge grin, showing that he had been completely faking before he jumped onto his mom's shoulders and tackled her into the water. Ryan couldn't help but laugh out loud at the scene, his laughs joining the little blond boys as he screeched with giggles. A few seconds later, Marissa rose out of the water sputtering out water, her hair flattening onto her head. A sudden splash war ensued between them as she tried to get playful revenge on her son.

Ryan's smile was humbled as he realized just how much he was enjoying the scene in front of him. He loved it. He wanted to be apart of it. He wanted to run down the beach and join in- play with them, spend time with them. He had never wanted anything so much in his life.