Marissa precisely cut Aiden's peanut butter and jelly sandwich into little triangles before laying it between a pile pretzels and a few baby carrots as the opening chords of The Lion King drifted into the kitchen.
"Mom! Hurry up! You're missing all of it!"
"Coming, coming..." Marissa called back to her son, licking off the left over remains of his sandwich from the knife and her fingers as she cleaned up. Grabbing up a juice box and his plate, she headed towards the living room where Aiden sat cross legged in the middle of the floor, excitedly watching the movie play out across his Grandmother's big screen TV. "Here, baby," she mused as she slid his food in front of him, opening his drink for him as she sat down on the floor beside him.
"Thanks," he smiled sweetly to his mom before grabbing part of his sandwich and chowing down, getting sticky goop all over his cheeks as he ate.
Reaching out, she brushed the hair off his forehead and helplessly tried to calm the knotted mess of blonde. "Your welcome," she smiled back at him, punctuating her words as she tapped the tip of his nose.
Aiden giggled, scrunching up his face and brushing at his nose. Looking over his mother, he frowned, forgetting about the movie as he poked at the grey material of her pants. "Mommy?" he started with his mouthful but swallowed a big bite before continuing, "Why are you still wearing jammies?"
"Well since we're stuck inside all day because of the rain, and Aunt Summer's at her Dad's house, and Grandma's working, so I thought we could have a rain day," she explained while trying to get the mess off his cheeks, "like in Rhode Island when we would have snow days..."
"And we watched movies and have hot chocolate and eat pizzas and stay up late!" he finished for her, his excitement rising as he went.
Marissa giggled. "Yep, just like that."
"Can I wear jammies too?"
Marissa nodded. "You can change after lunch, since I think you're going to need some serious clean up anyways," she frowned slightly, a grossed out look on her face as he ran his messy hand in his hair.
Turning back to the movie, Marissa half watched, her face going from a slight smile as she watched Aiden get wrapped up in it to a slight frown as she got lost in her thoughts. Since she'd woken up that morning, she'd been trying to do everything to stop herself from thinking about Ryan and the mystery girl on the phone last night. That whole conversation was a complete shock to her. How could Ryan have been dating someone? Why didn't he just tell her? He led her on and made her think something was happening between them, taking it as far as kissing her and she was shocked at him. She had no idea how she felt about it, but really couldn't allow herself to feel or get wrapped up in her emotions anyways.
Smiling slightly to herself, she reached out and rubbed Aiden's back as he burst into giggles at the hyenas just as the door bell rang. Furrowing her brow in confusion, she snuck out of the room to answer the door.
Her face immediately fell and her stomach filled with butterflies at who was there.
"Hey," Ryan greeted sweetly, a nervous smile curling his lips.
"Hi," Marissa greeted back shortly, immediately stepping out onto the covered porch and shutting the door behind her, hoping Aiden wouldn't hear the man in front of her.
He flinched at her coldness. "Um, well, these are for you," he fumbled, holding up a modest bouquet of white lilies. "Kind of like an early birthday present I guess."
"Thanks," she murmured, quietly taking the gift. She fingered the flowers, amazed he remembered her favorite after so long, but too annoyed and confused to care sweet it was. The pounding sound of the rain pounding all around them seemed to get louder and louder the longer they stood there, awkwardly avoiding each others glances. "Did you need something?" Marissa finally asked, annoyed. "Because if not I really need to go.." she explained, motioning listlessly over her shoulder at the door.
"I'm sorry," Ryan suddenly blurted. "I just wanted to apologize for last night and to try to explain why I, um, I.."
"Kept the fact that you had a girlfriend hidden from me?" she supplied for him a little too heatedly.
"Yeah, that," he quickly agreed, taking a step closer to her. "Look. When you came back to Newport, I did have a girlfriend and I should have told you.. But I was just, I don't know, I was stupid," he tried desperately to explain, but she didn't seem to want to hear it. He sighed hopelessly as he watched her shift on her feet and refuse to meet his gaze. Digging his hands in his pockets, he softly continued, "When we had lunch that day, we were having so much fun and flirting and I knew that if I told you I had a girlfriend it would change all that. I'd missed you so much since you left and I couldn't have imagined it going as well as it did. Then we started hanging out more and more, and it was too late to tell you but I felt so guilty. After we kissed though, I couldn't be with her anymore. I couldn't do that to you. I was breaking up with her when you called, that's why she was screaming at you on the phone. It never should have came to that though, and I'm so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am."
Marissa silently leaned back against the wooden door and kept her gaze locked on the flowers in her grasp, her mind racing, but her stance indifferent.
"Say something," Ryan gently pleaded after a long moment.
She shrugged, finally meeting his gaze, her eyes full of hurt. "I don't know what you want me to say."
"Well if I had a choice, I'd have you say you forgive me."
Sighing, she absently shook her head at him, exasperated. "Its not about me forgiving you. I mean, you weren't doing anything wrong by dating anyone else; its not like we're together. Its that you lied about it and it doesn't matter if I forgive you or not. It just changes things." She watched as his face fell completely and she actually felt sorry for what she was doing. Years ago she would have forgiven his immediately, but being a mother meant she couldn't take any risks with her heart. Giving him an apologetic look, she reached for the door knob. "I should go back in.."
"Wait!" Ryan burst out suddenly, grasping her hand in his. "Come on, Marissa. Its not like a completely different person now."
"Well, yes. It kind of is," she argued back, ripping her hand from his. "You completely lied to me and everything that's happened since then between me and you since I came back is up for questioning too. I haven't seen you in five years and you lie right away and now I'm not sure I even really know what you're like anymore."
"Oh like you've never lied to me?" he shot back accusingly. He didn't even know why he was fighting with her. He'd never really been the one directly in the wrong before and he was getting more and more desperate for her not to just walk away. "What about DJ? Isn't that exactly the same situation as this is."
"Oh my god," she muttered under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest, before glaring at him. "That was high school, Ry. Things are different now- I have a kid! I have a kid who made us wait two hours to eat because he wanted you to be there and looked absolutely shattered when you didn't show up."
Ryan felt his stomach sink with even more guilt at the mention of Aiden. "I'm sorry.."
"I know," she cut him off quickly, not wanting to hear anymore apologies from him. "If it was five years ago and it was just me, I would probably be forgiving you without a second thought. But I just cant do that to Aiden. I cant keep spending time with someone I'm not sure if I trust and let him get more and more attached."
"I know I lied about Katie, but.. I want to be with you" he admitted, swallowing his pride and fears as he looked at the beautiful woman in front of him, her hair a mess as she stood in her sweat pants. He wanted this and he couldn't believe how bad he'd messed up. "You and Aiden. All the spending time with you and him, and the kiss; those weren't lies."
Marissa nodded softly. "I know. I just think we need some space right now until.. I don't know. Maybe you need to grow up some first. I have to go take care of my son now though so..." Turning around she finally opened the door unopposed and stepped inside, not looking back as she shut the him out behind her. Leaning back against the door, she only got a minutes peace to soak in what just happened before Aiden screeched out to her. Pushing Ryan to the back of her mind, she pushed herself off the door and straightened herself out before following her son's call.
Walking back into the room, her lips curled into a small smile at the sight of Aiden licking his hands and rubbing them over his cheeks trying to clean them.
"Who was there?"
"Oh, it was just one of the neighbors," Marissa lied, brushing off his question. "You wanna put on your jammies now?"
Aiden nodded getting up from the floor. "Yeah, but I wanna wear my Yankees shirt again, because that ones my favorite," he explained while he supervised and made sure his mother paused the movie correctly. Grabbing her hand tight in his as she set down the remote, he led her towards the stairs.
"Maybe I should wear my Yankees shirt too," she suggested as they arrived at Aiden's temporary room. Going to his bed, she shifted around the sheets and made his bed before flopping down on top.
Ripping off his shirt and throwing it haphazardly across the room, he simply shrugged at his mom before pulling on his baseball t-shirt.
"What?" Marissa questioned of her son's silence. Smirking at him, she tried to tease him out of his sudden mood. "Are you too cool to match your mom now?"
"No," he shortly replied, changing from his small jeans to a pair of grey seat pants.
Her brow immediately furrowed at her son, not remembering him ever being so distant or quiet. "Baby, what's wrong?"
Crossing his arms in front of his short torso, he mumbled, "Nothing. Just thinkin."
"About what?" she questioned, her voice filled with concern. Getting only silence in return, she continued to push the little boy, "Aid, you know you can tell me anything."
The little boy seemed to consider his mother's words as he stared down at the beige carpeted floor. Chewing his lip thoughtfully, he hugged himself tight and furrowed his brow. "Do I have a dad?"
Marissa could feel her heart start pounding in her chest, a moment she knew was coming but could never quite prepare herself for suddenly presenting itself. "What?" she dumbly muttered, the color seemingly draining out of her.
"Well I know everyone has a daddy and a mommy, but I never seen my dad 'afore," Aiden explained quickly as he looked up at his mom through his shaggy bangs. "And then you were outside and Simba's daddy died on the movie and you weren't there and I got scared and I thought.." he trailed off his ramble, shrugging his shoulders, completely confused and immensely sad, "Maybe my daddy is dead like Simba's, and that's why we never see him."
"Oh, sweetie," Marissa immediately called out to her son, her hand covering her mouth in disbelief. "Oh, baby. Come here," she gently commanded as she held her arms open for him.
Within a second Aiden had ran to her, jumping into her lap and hugging his arms tight around her neck, wanting nothing more than his mother to make the thoughts in his head go away.
"No, sweetie, your dad is not dead," she whispered to him, smoothing her hand over his hair and down his back in a calming rhythm. She had always thought it was better just to never mention his dad, but never had she imagined he would be brought up like this. Somehow, though, her reaction came naturally. "There's no reason to be scared, Aid. I promise your dad is fine."
Aiden pulled back from his mother quickly, looking confused. "Then how come I never see him?"
"Well your dad, he just.. Couldn't take care of us," she tried she softly tried to explain. "Your dad was always getting himself into trouble and he wasn't very good at being a grown up. Trust me, sweetie. Me and you; we're better off and happier just the two of us for now."
He carefully contemplated her words. "So I never see him? Ever?"
"No, not never. When your older, I think you'll meet him, and I know he'll love you very very much, becuase there's no way anyone couldn't love you."
Aiden nodded almost imperceptively. Absently, he started playing with his mother's hair between his fingers, twirling it and flicking it as he thought. "Mommy?" he questioned quietly after several long moments.
"Yeah, Aid?"
"I love you," he whispered sweetly, shifting on her lap.
She smiled, kissing his cheek. "I love you too, baby."
"Can we watch the Spongebob movie next?"
Marissa burst out laughing, the tension and seriousness completely broken as his childlike innocence and attention span caught up with him, much to his mother's relief. She quickly kissed his forehead and hugged him tight. "Sure, sweetie. Whatever you want."