A Call Beyond
Chapter Two: You Must Accept Yourself
Louise dreamt of water. In fact, she found herself floating upon a veritable ocean. Around her, the water stretched seemingly endlessly and Louise felt, with a certainty only afforded to those in the world of dreams, that there was no end to the depths of water below her. Louise looked above, gazing lazily at the featureless gray sky, the sun hidden behind an infinite expanse of clouds.
There she was, all alone, floating upon an ocean of never-ending depth her only companion the gentle sound of the waves brushing beneath her. She should be frightened, indeed terrified, but Louise felt completely at ease for some reason. Trying to rationalize this for the want of anything else to do, Louise observed that the water had the perfect temperature. Even only partially submerged, she felt neither hot nor cold only comfortable. The gray sky held no interesting sights but not any distractions either and the sounds of waves was like calming music to her ears. Furthermore, Louise discovered that it took no effort at all to continue floating as she was. The smooth waters below simply did not let her sink. It was akin to lying on a bed, Louise thought idly. A giant, liquid bed.
It's probably mostly that, Louise thought. Floating upon the ocean as she did, Louise felt small. What were her fears, her worries in front of the endless sea around her? All of Tristain, no, all of Halkeginia would amount to a mere pebble when thrown into this sea. It would cause a disturbance to be sure, but a minor one: Circular waves gradually fading away, centered on an object sinking into the depths to be forgotten forever. In front of this, what weight could the concerns of a single individual possibly hold?
Louise chuckled softly to herself. Upon hearing her own voice, the only sound beside the waves, Louise laughed a little louder and a little harder until she was cackling with all her might. Eventually she stopped laughing and the sound of her laughter, too, returned to nothing, the sea accepting it all. Louise lay on the sea with a smile of her face. As she continued to float, looking up at the sky, she started feeling contemplative.
Her last memories were of her failing the Familiar Summoning Ritual. In front of her entire class, no less. She couldn't remember when she went to sleep, but she must have at some point since she was obviously dreaming now. The memory of her failing her summoning spell inspired a bitter feeling in Louise and she frowned involuntarily. But that feeling too, quickly flowed away from her and disappeared into the depths. Her face returning to a neutral expression, Louise decided that there was not much worth in thinking of the past and decided to instead think of what she should do next.
Having failed to summon a familiar or display any magic talent whatsoever, she would be booted out of the academy for sure. Oh, they would probably be nice about it, but when it came down to it, a failure like her didn't belong together with the other students. A failure, a Zero, the words that once hurt her so now rang empty in her ears. Or rather, she considered, they rang true. She really was a Zero – in front if this boundless ocean, no one person could amount to more than a Zero. The thought amused her greatly and she started chuckling to herself again. With magic out of the picture, I guess I'll have to focus on marital skills she thought after calming down. Thinking on it, it wasn't that bad of an idea. Her dear elder sister Cattleya was too sickly for marriage and her eldest sister Éléonore was most likely too engrossed in her research to care about marriage. And that is if she can even find someone Louise thought. Éléonore's wits were sharp but she had a tongue to match and, while that had won her respect among her fellow researchers, it had almost warded off potential suitors. Someone has to continue the Vallière line and it might as well be me. Louise's thoughts next turned to her fiancé, a Viscount Wardes. It had been a long time since she had met or even seen him, but she remembered him as a kind, upstanding gentleman. Still, Louise let out a melancholic sigh, letting the feeling wash over her for posterity.
She didn't want to be a bride. Well, maybe at some point, but she didn't want to just be a bride. She had always wanted to be a powerful mage like her mother and help fight against monsters and Germanians and elves and whatever else could threaten Tristain. Thinking on it now, it was all a little childish but the sentiment stood: Magic has been all she wanted to do and now she had failed. Who was to say she would not also fail in marriage? Louise didn't consider herself to be unattractive in the slightest, but she had to admit that she was, underdeveloped in certain areas that men liked. Especially if she compared herself to someone like Kirche von Zerbst. Then there was her personality. Thinking back on how she usually carried herself, Louise realized that, just like her eldest sister Éléonore, her normal behavior fell somewhere to the side of the so called feminine ideal. Louise let out another sigh.
Would the rest of life be one of pretending to be meek and deferential? No, she refused to live her life like that. She was a proud noble of the Vallière line and would carry herself as such, no if or buts. Besides, she doubted she could keep such an act up for long, even if she tried. The more Louise thought about it, the more she realized that just staying in this dream seemed ideal. Here, she was safe from the outside world, nothing could hurt her. And she would have no expectation put on her or responsibilities to carry out. Still, staying here was going to be a little lonely, but that's only if she just decided to lie around and think herself into insanity. Louise wished for a moment that she could just sink towards the bottom and be forgotten.
The thought had barely left her mind before Louise stopped floating and began sinking down. Eventually, everything will return to the sea. I'm just getting a head start, is all. Louise let out another laugh at that thought. Surprisingly, the laughter rang out clearly, even though she was entirely submerged, no, enveloped by the water. She didn't need to breathe either. But of course, it is this sea after all. Willing to accept even someone like me. Louise continued to sink, smiling all the while. Her merriment was short lived, however, as a noise in her head broke her out of her reverie.
Louise stopped sinking for a moment and instead looked around her. She couldn't see anything, not at all aided by the fact that most the light from above had disappeared at this depth. Still, she felt no fear. Surely, if some other being inhabited this sea, it meant her no harm. Instead she focused on the sound. The low rumble in her head did not resemble spoken words of any language Louise could conceive of, yet it invoked in her certain images. A push. A gentle reproach. Perhaps a consoling pat on the head? Whatever the interpretation, it got Louise to stop and think again. What am I doing? Didn't I just decide to live my life like the Vallière that I am? Melancholy is an insidious thing, indeed. You can be forgotten instead! Ridding herself of her defeatism, Louise willed herself to begin floating upwards. As if replacing the void left behind by her departed feelings of melancholy, determination welled up inside her. I'm not giving up. So what I failed the summoning ritual? So what if I have failed every spell I've tried to cast so far? I will simply try again, as many times as it takes! Louise grinned, filled with newfound determination. Around her the waters responded to her change in attitude. The waters above her parted before her and the waters below began to rise, aiding her ascent. Louise laughed once more. Of course! This sea, this dream, it was all a sign. How could she have been so blind? The water below her propelled her upwards with great force. As she rose above the surface in a great geyser of water, Louise shouted her revelation to the sea:
"I must be a water mage!"