First off , I don't know if you guys have any idea of how frustrating it is for me to not be able to send all of you less than three symbols on here.
I was really overwhelmed by your sweet reactions to the last chapter. You go from making me laugh out loud to nearly having me in tears.
So, some of you had seen it coming :) but a lot of you hadn't
To me that kinda confirms that it somehow fits the story without being too overly obvious. Which I'm very pleased about :)
But there's more… I'm gonna try to surprise you lovelies till the very end of this little tale. So hold on tight and let's enter the next phase!
Here I go, rambling on again :p
Although, by now you should know I'm an 'author's note kinda girl' -yes, it's a thing-
so you really shouldn't be surprised by the length of these… ;)
Though now I really am going to shut up…
Because here's what happens next.
CHAPTER 18
It's still early in the morning. Extremely early in the morning when a particularly excited and nervous Emma finds herself stressing over what to wear.
She certainly doesn't want to wake Regina at this ungodly hour and thus hasn't opened the blinds or turned on the lights.
The flashlight function on her phone is proving to come in handy as she's rummaging through her options.
It's gonna have to be jeans, she figures. Since that's pretty much all she has.
But what shirt to wear? Henry's favorite color is blue, right? or was it green? How the hell can she not remember something so important?
Shit so basically she's only just learned that Henry is her biological son and she's already proving to be a horrible mother?
And the worst mother in the world award goes to...
Emma inwardly scolds herself for 1. freaking out like this and 2. for not owning some kind of space-related shirt. Surely, Henry would love that.
Henry... She's seriously stressing out over seeing him later. That much is obvious.
But Regina had said he's happy, right?
Although maybe at the time when Regina had talked to the boy, it hadn't entirely sunken in yet… and today he will come to realize she's not that cool anyway…
Or at least, not cool enough to be his mom.
That's what she is, right?
Yup, Emma Swan is having a serious identity crisis.
See, for an incredibly large portion of her life she hadn't been anything significant to anyone. Not really.
Of course… Since the moment she had donated and Regina had picked her sample to make a baby, she had been something.
It's funny how she hadn't really realized it at the time… but by donating she was making her presence in the world matter significantly.
Without her… there would be no Henry…
And just the mere idea of a world without Henry is something Emma can't possibly imagine anymore. Nor would she want to imagine it.
It's a good thing she doesn't have to. In just a couple of hours his aunts are gonna send him across the hallway,
back home and she's gonna have to be the person Henry needs for her to be.
But what if she's not enough?
Up until yesterday… she'd been his Emma… which had obviously just entailed her being herself.
But now, now she's something much bigger… something with a label that holds expectations and responsibilities. Big ones.
Frustrated, she eventually ends up picking a random shirt before very silently making her way downstairs.
It's barely even six and seeing as she really tired Regina out last night, the brunette will appreciate it not to be disturbed for at least a couple more hours. Emma smirks and momentarily is able to forget about her stress when she thinks back of last night
and how Regina had once again proven to be absolutely mind blowing in bed.
It's so sexy how she gives it her absolute all until she's entirely spent and then just gives herself over to Emma.
Just thinking about it makes the blonde grow warm and pleasant inside of her heart, belly and pants.
Seeing as it's Saturday and pretty much everyone is probably going to sleep in,
Emma reckons that she's got heaps of time to prepare the perfect Saturday morning brunch.
Thank God Regina went grocery shopping the morning before so she can get creative, try out some stuff,
fail and start over again at least three or four times with the amount of food the fridge and pantry seem to hold.
She starts off by squeezing fresh orange juice, moves on to fruit salad next
and then realizes that anything she'll make right now is going to be cold and gross by the time her family's awake and home.
Emma sighs and in defeat, leans her head on the kitchen counter while nervously blowing out her cheeks and counting to ten.
So much for distracting herself from her nerves.
She's able to cover another two minutes by setting the table but once that too is done the girl is at a loss of ideas and just sinks down in the couch.
She's laying there in a position, much like she'd found herself in the night before right before that life-altering conversation with Regina had taken place…
but today, regardless of how relaxed her slumped down body might seem… her palms are sweating immensely and her entire being is filled with stress.
She consciously counts the seconds in between her breaths and ignores it when she feels the need to reposition her limbs or head.
Giving into that sort of nervous behavior will only feed her anxiousness and make it worse. Thus… she decides to stay as still and zen as possible.
And somehow… -even though she never actually believed that it would but- it works…
She slowly relaxes, counts up to eight before exhaling until she forgets to count at all and finds herself singing away in deep deep
The repeated stabbing of something pointy and slightly sticky to her left cheek is what startles her awake.
First slowly until her mind reaches consciousness and then all of the sudden her eyes open.
They need two to three seconds before they're able to focus and register much but when they do they stay locked onto the first thing they see.
Emma inhales long and deep before smiling a little shyly, feeling strange and excited and nauseous all at once.
"You're awake!" Henry joyfully beams. He grins wide before licking some -what looks like- maple syrup from his fingers.
"We thought you were under some sleeping curse." Regina grins, looking absolutely gorgeous and completely put together.
The brunette looks as if she's slept in, took a long relaxing shower,
selected the perfect outfit and has been able to put together the brunch Emma was hoping she'd be able to prepare for her family.
And Emma… well… she's worthlessly splayed out on the couch with some of Henry's sticky maple syrup on her cheek… being completely useless.
"I'm sorry." The girl grimaces, feeling utterly annoyed with herself. So much for making a good start.
How long was she out for?
"It's okay, sleeping beauty." Regina cutely winks at her and continues to flip delicious smelling pancakes.
The scent hits Emma's nostrils and she's suddenly very aware of the fact that her stomach is a bottomless pit
that has been deprived of any food since yesterday afternoon. Apart from a couple of pieces of banana earlier this morning that is.
"I even tried true love's kiss but it didn't work." Henry animatedly tells her before biting his lip and then kind of unconsciously pouting shyly.
He's staring intently at her, as if seeking some kind of confirmation or a sign of recognition. Until Emma realizes that that's exactly what he's doing.
Of course, he knows that Regina has told her about her being his donor and of course he's anxious to talk about it.
The blonde girl smiles warmly at him before asking. "Ah but did you do it right? Because you're supposed to kiss the person plus tickle their sides."
Upon uttering that third last word Emma jumps up and reaches for the kid's torso.
She pulls him on top of her and rapidly lets her fingers dance along his sides, making him gasp en giggle and laugh and cackle and almost pee his pants a little.
"I'm gonna peeeeee! I'm gonna peee! STOOOP!" He loudly shouts, nearly turning Emma deaf while doing so.
She stops quickly and squints her eyes while recovering from the loudness of his shrieking.
Her face is somehow incredible amusing to the brown haired boy though as he continues to laugh though this time not from any tickling.
"What are you laughing at?" She playfully glares at him, comfortably wrapping her arms around him now and reveling at his willingness to hug her.
He just chuckles and puts his head down on her chest, holding her too and momentarily making all of her worries disappear.
"Okay, my little munchkins. As cutely as the two of you lay there, these pancakes are going to get cold
and I know neither of you is willing to let any food go to waste…" Regina teasingly warns both of them.
She hadn't wanted to break up their little moment but the pancakes really are threatening to get rather cold
and she knows both Henry and Emma like their food in perfect state.
Henry's eyes go wide as he looks up into Emma's.
She playfully gasps at the news of pancakes just laying there waiting to be eaten before thinking of holding Henry this close to her just a little longer.
Because there's just something that she really needs to address first.
"Hen?" She smiles feeling her breath high in her throat.
"Yes?" He seems to still be thinking this is about the food that awaits them but has his full attention on the blonde nonetheless.
"You know I'm super happy that I'm your donor, right?"
She kind of emotionally breathes out, chuckling very lightly, feeling immensely flustered while tenderly tightening her grip on his body,
staring into his eyes and trying to figure out if the green in there might be the same shade as hers.
At first his face seems to fall -but that's just the concept of food disappearing from the forefront of his mind.-
because soon he's smiling excitedly and simply looks so very filled with joy.
He nods and takes his lower lip between his teeth while pushing himself up a little. Holding her shoulders and nodding some more.
"Me too." He truthfully tells her and blushes.
As if it knows that whatever Emma had to tell the boy is said, her stomach now starts to rumble loudly
causing for Henry to break out in an entirely new set of giggles.
Emma affectionately rolls her eyes and kisses his forehead before getting up and putting him over her shoulder,
letting him laugh it out and calm down so they can finally enjoy breakfast.
"Queen Regina, I bring you… prince Henry." She puts down the boy.
"Why thank you dear." Regina surprisingly rather skilfully curtsies the pair causing for Henry to giggle some more.
"Don't think I didn't see you with the maple syrup there, little prince." She playfully glares at him before turning around and grabbing his plate.
As she turns back around she locks her eyes onto Emma's.
"And who might you be? My humble servant?" She jokes while stroking a hand through Henry's hair and placing his food in front of him.
Emma's laugh is thick and warm as she snorts in amusement and grins deviously. "Your humble servant? Oh I think we both know"
A bone-shilling warning glare is immediately sent her way and Emma cuts off whatever was about to spill her lips and instead chooses on saying
"that you're right. We both know you're right." She chuckles meekly and sends her girlfriend an apologetic smile.
"And as your humble servant I'll clean up the entire kitchen after breakfast?" She generously suggests, silently praying for mercy.
Regina snorts, shakes her head and rolls her eyes while placing Emma's plate in front of the girl.
"As my humble servant I think that would suit you well, indeed." She smirks and sends Emma another glare.
"What? I didn't say anything wrong, did I? I expertly averted from any innuendos." Emma stubbornly murmurs now.
Actually daring to take the risk to defend herself.
Regina raises that one eye brow that always threatens to make the girl's heart stop and just slightly dangerously says.
"Someone is feeling particularly brave this morning…"
"Besides… You were the one bringing up the humble servant thing to begin with… What were you expecting?
For my mind not to run away with that? Yeah right." Emma now lightly chuckles.
Kind of really enjoying the way her girlfriend is glaring at her and the knowledge that Regina's vengeance will be sweet.
Sweet and hopefully hot and a little dirty as well. Although she really wouldn't object to it being more than a little dirty either.
Damn my mind really is in the gutter, isn't it?
"What are we talking about?"
Henry all of the sudden draws their attention.
Both women look his way and just burst out in laughter.
"Oh sweetheart." Regina sits down and shakes her head while pouring him a glass of orange juice.
Emma's pulled out her phone to take a picture and immortalize this glorious moment. Or well, Henry's face… covered in syrup.
At least the southern part of it. plus some strangely placed smudges on the bridge of his nose.
"What your mom meant to say was how grateful she is for the delicious and freshly squeezed orange juice and varieties of fruits."
Emma tells him and then throws Regina a cute smirk.
"Oh darling, how will I ever repay you for the effort?"
Regina animatedly sighs and throws Emma a very very subtle and in all it's subtleness extremely sexy wink.
The girl opens her mouth to say something. Fast… think of something… something smart and witty… something that will have Regina perplexed and speechless. But alas, her brain is not cut out for the job. Not right now. Not in this state of extreme hunger. Her eyes drop to her plate. FOOD.
She just blushes a little and shakes her head.
Giving Regina the feeling of having won, for now as she finally digs into her stack of pancakes.
God bless this woman. Is all Emma can think in that moment.
Chewing slowly and letting that first mouthful of pancake dance on her tongue until swallowing said piece of pancake down and going for the next one.
"I think it's too weird to call you mommy."
And who'd have thought that would hurt so frickin' much?
If anything… what Emma had been worried about had been how she'd feel to be called just that… and if she was ready for it.
Freaking out that she might not be and with that... disappoint the kid.
But this… Have him decide and tell her she's not worthy of the tittle… well, it's his right of course but it cuts her in a way she hasn't been hurt before.
Not ever, perhaps. Or definitely.
Okay, so…
Emma had been worried…
That she'd been expected to be something she wasn't capable of, fail thus disappoint and by doing so evidently… hurt the people she loves the most.
She'd been worried something as simple as what Henry would call her would impact her entire future.
And now she feels as if what Henry won't call her could in fact have such an impact.
She feels deflated and conflicted.
Before the girl knew she was the boy's donor… Emma kind of used to fantasize about how her relationship with Henry would evolve over time.
Ideally, and if she allowed herself to dream and let her imagination run wild… Regina and her would stay together, years would pass and Henry would grow up. Maybe he'd gradually start to call her something other than her first name, she'd mused. Especially if there would be another baby…
Maybe something unique… Maybe Em-mom… perhaps or preferably something slightly less ridiculous.
Something that doesn't sound like an incredibly weird Pokémon.
But something that would hold meaning and make her feel loved without it feeling artificial or fake.
Of course it would happen organically and gradually.
He'd say it once and then a week later again until it would be his only way of addressing her and she'd silently revel in how happy it would make her feel.
But after yesterday's big reveal, there suddenly had been planted a seed in her brain that he'd start to call her something entirely cute and official today…
And all the while she thought she feared it…
She'd actually been anxious… and nervously looking forward to it.
Perhaps it was the fear of rejection that had made her believe that she didn't want the label yet?
Perhaps this is why she'd told herself that she wasn't ready…
Because maybe Henry's not ready and she doesn't want that to hurt and for him to see that.
To Emma it feels as if the entire room is dead silent.
The impression of the situation is entirely different to both Henry and Regina though.
"Oh no?" Regina'd interestedly asked the boy and he'd put down his fork and started staring into the distance while thinking hard.
Regina had started to eat some fruit while closely regarding Emma's expression.
The girl's eyes are downcast at her plate as she seems to be pushing its contents around.
It's painfully obvious that Emma's got a war of worries going on in her mind.
That she's thinking new thoughts that need some time to settle in.
Time that Regina gives her. That's why she stays silent.
She wants for Emma to be able to feel and deal with those feelings without feeling rushed. Whatever she's coming to realize, it's sinking in. Slowly but surely.
And if any battle in that beautiful head of Emma's threatens to become too heated, Queen Regina is right there in front of her to put a halt to it…
Because she knows that, eventually… love conquers all and that this family has more than enough of that for Emma to have nothing to worry about.
"It would be very confusing to call both of you that." Henry now logically shrugs and hums "Soooooo you can be momma."
He formally decides before grinning and feeling extremely pleased with himself and his big boy decision making skills.
His mommy puts her fork down and leans her chin in the palm of her hand as her elbow rests upon the table surface.
She smiles softly at Emma even though she's not who the girl looks up at.
Said girl's expression is one of bewilderment and surprise.
Her mind has this horrible habit of taking a thought and pushing it down a downward spiral.
When is she ever going to learn that in this family…
there's no need for doom thinking and that there's no limit on smiles and laughter and no other shoe to drop?
Perhaps today or perhaps tomorrow…
but eventually, she'll learn because these living and breathing miracles in front of her are going to keep reminding her over and over again.
"I'd love to be your momma." She cutely admits in a voice thick with emotion.
Her tone carries feelings too heavy for Henry to fully understand yet. Not that it matters because to him the situation is crystal clear and obvious.
He's already chewing on another piece of pancake while he pulls up his little shoulders and shrugs matter of factly.
"You are."
After the pancakes and a couple of pieces of fruit, Emma had discovered a stack of leftover waffles and taken it upon herself to tackle them.
As promised she would also clean up the kitchen but that can wait... Because first, she's taking her sweet time to enjoy their little brunch bubble.
Eventually it had been Regina who'd started to get on with the day.
Helping Henry clean his face, neck, hands, arms and put on another shirt which had been necessary thanks to his sloppy eating-habits
-A trait of which it is now obvious he's inherited it from his blonde mother-
The kid needed to get ready for his dance class and his play date at Grace's house that would follow immediately after.
Henry had been the one that had convinced her to join ballet and she on her turn had convinced her parents to let her.
Since Grace's two year older sibling is having a birthday party this afternoon, she too got to invite a friend…
It had been a quick decision to ask Henry.
And of course he could go.
Although… today it doesn't seem as if he's particularly keen on going.
"Do I hafta?' He so very cutely pouts.
"What's the matter, sweetheart? You've been looking forward to this." Regina sweetly says.
Her tone carries a bit of concern as she is putting some shopped up fruits into a small container for Henry to take with him.
Just in case he has a sudden craving for vitamins… so far… during the entire five year span of his life-
it had never occurred but you never know, Regina reasons.
"I knoooow." He sighs and nods.
"What's up baby?" Emma walks towards him, puts up her hair in a quick bun and pulls him up to sit on her hip
so they can all be at eye level with each other and hear out what the little man has got to say.
"I want to go. Grace is my friend but… I also want to stay home with mommy and you. We're having fun and I don't want to leave." He hopefully explains.
Both his mommy and momma seem to really be listening so maybe, he thinks, they'll let him stay.
Emma softly hums while holding the back of his head and leaning forward a bit to kiss his temple
and then looks over at Regina who seems to be melting at her boy's explanation and overall cuteness.
"I'll tell you what sweetheart." She softly smiles while walking towards them before coming to a halt in front of the pair.
"Grace will be very sad if you don't go… So you will go to your dance class and you will go to Grace afterwards." She says
and immediately, his little face falls into a defeated expression.
"And afterwards your momma" she momentarily glances at Emma and smiles extra wide upon realizing the quickly spreading blush on the girl's cheeks.
"and I will pick you up together and then we can all go out for dinner." She brightly offers… knowing that he'll love that plan.
"Burgers, fries and milkshake?!" He excitedly exclaims as his face lights up like a Christmas tree in the heart of Disney World on Christmas eve.
"Yeah!" Emma looks about the same as Henry does and nods enthusiastically.
The only -responsible- adult in the room merely chuckles and shakes her head.
"You'll each pick two out of the three." She states.
Henry hums in deep thought. "Burger aaaaaaand"
Emma leans in closer towards his ear and whispers. "I get the fries and you get the shake and we split?" She smirking-ly suggests.
Normally, Regina would roll her eyes at such behavior but now… all she can do in this moment is grin along with her two loves as they look up at her in victory.
"Very well. But we'll also order a salad and will all eat from it!" She says, not leaving any room for discussion.
"Sure." They quickly shrug though all three of them know all too well that only one of them will be eating more than three bites of that salad.
Regina rolls her eyes but still smiles so very affectionately.
"You're lucky you're both incredibly cute."
And well, both of said cuties grin widely as the smallest one very smartly points out.
"I have that from momma."
After that he'd been a lot more cooperative to get ready.
They'd put his bag for his dance class together and made sure they had the birthday present for Grace's sister with them.
A family ticket for the local zoo, which had been expertly picked out because it would kind of be a present for Grace as well.
Both brunette's had kissed Emma. Both had done so wetly but each in their own way before leaving the blonde to finally get to cleaning up the kitchen.
That's done now though…
She's been writing for a good ten minutes when she suddenly realizes that the second half of her sentence is not coming,
not due to lack of inspiration but because she actually really needs to pee.
Emma saves the open document on her laptop before getting up and making a beeline for the bathroom.
-peeline, she lamely jokes in the confided space of her own brain-
She's unbuttoning her pants as she goes and is already pulling it halfway down her butt.
When she's peeing, she really is peeing… a lot. When did she drink so much that her blather is this full?
She inwardly wonders while funnily staring down at herself and the constant stream coming from her member.
Right… Regina had insisted she'd drink a lot because the weather is becoming warmer and it's important to stay hydrated.
The girl smiles, because it's actually quite wonderful to have someone care enough about you to think of something so random.
"Oh my god." A shrill voice suddenly exclaims, about four feet to her left.
Oh my god... not again...
NEXT UP: Open doors and awkward silences. ;)