A Call Beyond
Chapter Four: Ignoring is Effective
"So how are you feeling, Miss Vallière?" Osmond began.
After seeing that Louise was awake, Osmond had quickly called for a water mage to take a look at her. Louise had claimed that it wasn't necessary and that she was "obviously fine", but Osmond had insisted. As it turned out, Louise was indeed perfectly healthy in the physical sense. However, it was her mental health and not her physical health that had started this entire debacle and so Osmond had told Louise to drop by his office after she had had a change of clothes and something to eat. And now here they were. Osmond noted that Louise was looking awfully cheerful, given the situation.
"Has it not already been established that I am in peak condition?" Louise replied. She understood and even appreciated the Headmaster's apparent concern for her health, but she would have thought that they would be done with this talk a long time ago.
"Yes, indeed, 'peak condition' might be the most fitting term to describe your physical condition, Miss Vallière. Quite remarkable for one who has been asleep for an entire week. But no, I am more interested in hearing about how you feel about the school as a whole, Miss Vallière. How do you feel about the coursework, and what of your classmates?"
Osmond gathered his hand on the table before him and gave Louise an imploring look. He hoped he could inspire students to confide in him. Both in the now but also the future. Prevention was better than any cure, after all. He had even sent his secretary away in order to give Louise as much privacy as possible. Miss Loungeville had complied, saying to that she was going to inspect the wards on the treasury for an upcoming security audit or some such.
Louise appeared to be carefully considering the question. So that's what this is about. She had heard from the nurse that the cause of her "collapse" was determined to be stress. It wasn't a bad guess, all things considered. While she felt no stress in the moment courtesy of the sea in her mind and its calming effect, she had certainly been under a lot of stress prior to the Summoning Ritual. She wondered how she should phrase her answer. She opted for honesty.
"I was rather stressed out leading up to the Summoning Ritual. You may not know this, but my classmates have a name for me: Louise the Zero, born from my various failures at spellcasting. As you might expect, I was eager to prove them wrong and the Summoning Ritual provided just such an opportunity."
Osmond gave her a sympathetic nod and motioned for her to continue. Though he winced inwardly. He didn't like where this was going. Louise continued.
"Well, as it turns out they were right all along." Louise couldn't help but let out a small laugh at that. It was rather funny in retrospect. "I failed the ritual miserably, and then passed out from sheer pent up stress to wake a week later. Which brings us to the now." Louise finished.
Osmond took a deep breath. "First off, Miss Vallière, no one at this academy thinks of you as a failure, neither teacher nor student. This matter of nicknames is simply a joke that has gone too far. I will have a word with your classmates about it." Osmond thought that while Louise might soon be leaving the academy, eventually she would meet her noble peers again and she should at least have a pleasant send-off.
"No need, really." Louise waved off his offer easily. "As I said before, I really was a failure. Besides, I can't imagine staying behind class to help clean up after my various miscasts were any fun, so part of their enmity is not ill-placed. In a way, the entire thing was mostly my fault." That was laying it on a little thick, Louise thought but she really didn't care about the whole affair that much at this point, so better to just place the blame on herself and get it out the way.
"I-I see." Osmond said, his voice cracking involuntarily. He had not been expecting this type of answer at all. "That is very magnanimous of you, Miss Vallière." It also sounded nothing like what he knew of the young girl. While not familiar with every student, Osmond had at least heard enough to know that Louise supposedly had an impressive temper paired with a stubborn streak and often refused to admit any wrongdoing on her part. Yet here she was, trying to smooth over a year's worth of bullying by placing the blame on herself. Osmond could tell that she didn't actually believe it was all her own fault, but more that she was willing to admit to it if it made him drop the topic.
Louise, too, realized that her answer was rather unusual given her former temper and that was most likely why it had given Osmond such pause. She decided to elaborate.
"I realize that this sentiment can perhaps be considered a bit uncharacteristic of me, but I've had a…change of perspective recently, you see."
It was an odd thing to be sure, to be without the feelings of anger, insecurity or stress that had been her constant companions for years. They had all mostly just faded away. Louise could recall scenes where she had lost her temper, had given in to Kirche's provocations or had been affected by the jeers of her classmates, but the accompanying feelings of anger or indignation no longer took hold in her. She even recalled a time where someone had insinuated something untoward about the Princess, oh she had been angry about that. If she focused, she could still feel the righteous fury bubble inside her, but without consciously maintaining it, it too faded away. The sea had taken hold in Louise's mind. A Great Deep Sea, the birthplace and final resting place of all things. Feelings were the first to go, apparently. It wasn't as if she was left entirely without emotions, however. She still felt pride in her heritage as a noble, pride in her country and now pride in her abilities as a water mage. Mirth, too, seemed to have wormed in its way into her being, if her frequent fits of laughter was any indication. She feared that it would become a habit, but that fear, too, disappeared into the ocean.
Osmond considered Louise's claim of a "change in perspective". Given that she had now remained quiet for a few minutes, it seemed she did not wish to expand upon it. That was just as well, he would take it at face value. If she was in such a cooperative mood, it would be easier to broach the real topic: Her imminent expulsion.
"I see." he finally said. Louise snickered to herself for some reason. "Have you given any thoughts to what you will do next, Miss Vallière?"
Louise gave him a perplexed look but answered immediately. "Why, I want to continue my studies at this academy, of course." She didn't understand where this was going.
Osmond fought to not turn his face up in a grimace. "Your dedication to the scholarly arts is commendable, Miss Vallière. Yet I fear that having summoned a familiar is a requirement for second years…" he trailed off hoping she would catch the implication.
"Oh, so you're kicking me out." Louise stated flatly. Truth be told, she had gotten so caught up in her new powers that she had completely forgotten about this detail. "But wait! I admit I was a failure at magic previously and the Summoning Ritual was just the cherry on top, but I'm different now! I have awakened as a water mage." Louise said pleadingly, all the while trying not to smirk at the formulation. "If you give a wand, I can prove it." she continued hurriedly.
Intrigued, Osmond opened a drawer and handed her a wand. "This is your own wand, Miss Vallière. I have been keeping it safe since your accident. Now, which spell will you cast?"
"I will cast a spell to conjure water." Louise answered. So far, it was the only spell she knew yet she had compete confidence in it. She could still feel the sea, after all.
Osmond's mind was drawn to the memory of a drenched Miss von Zerbst and put two and two together. He quickly handed Louise a glass. "Then try to fill this glass with water without it flowing over." Such control was usually beyond fletching water mages attempting such a spell but he hoped it would at least limit the damage, were she to succeed in casting the spell in the first place.
Taking the wand in her hand, Louise waved it around a little. She barely had to concentrate, after all, the waters were already present and eager to obey her will. She spoke a short incantation for sake of formality before finishing. Immediately, the glass was filled with water up to the brim, but with none spilling over.
"Impressive, Miss Vallière." Osmond said upon seeing the spectacle. "Most water mages first hone their skills by manipulating existing water sources. But to conjure your own water like that and with such precision. Yes, impressive indeed, but you did always have a good grasp of the theory." He gave the girl a smile which she returned twofold. "This would place you at the mid-level of the Dot class mage, Miss Vallière. Perhaps there is a place for you at this academy after all. There is still the matter of a familiar, however."
"Surely when taking the circumstances into account, a leniency period could be granted?" Louise asked hopefully.
Osmond nodded sagely. "Yes, I believe you are correct. A month should suffice, I would say. In the mean time you will follow the general classes. You might discover that you have another affinity after all. When you have successfully summoned a familiar, we can discuss how to better make the curriculum suit your talents. You may take the rest of the day of to recuperate, but I expect you to be on time for classes, beginning tomorrow." he finished.
Louise nodded eagerly before bowing. "Thank you, sir!" She walked out of the Headmaster's office with a spring in her step. She got to stay at the academy and continue her classes. But this time she could actually use magic! This was going to be great.
(***)
Thing weren't going great. They were going well enough, sure, but not great. When she had first shown up in class, her classmates had stopped what they were they were doing in favor of gawking at her. Soon after, not so subtle whispers broke out. Apparently, the rumor that she had died at the Summoning Ritual had gained traction. And now that she had returned, this obviously meant that she was a corpse reanimated by water magic. The fact that she could now use water magic only lend further credence to this. Really, the creativity of some people was astounding. It didn't help that Kirche had loudly proclaimed that she had seen Louise wake from the dead herself.
Louise had opted for simply not minding the various rumors. If she passionately denied that she was a walking corpse, after all, it would only validate the rumors. Ignoring the gossip turned out to be the right course of action as it gradually died down. Louise had considered idly wondering out loud how human brains tasted, just to keep them guessing but decided against it in the end. She had few enough friends as it was. If any, really.
But this wasn't what had been bothering her. She had been expecting something like this to happen and it wasn't as if she was particularly close with any of her classmates previously. Kirche was probably the closest she had to a friend, sad as that might be. But no, this was not had been bothering her. It had to do with her own success in the magic classes.
Not surprising to her in the least, she had failed to cast spells of the earth, fire or air element. But unlike previously where she just caused explosions, now her spells just did nothing. Honestly, it was the preferable outcome and her classmates most likely agreed with the sentiment. Water magic classes, however, had been a mixed bag. She had improved her abilities and showed impressive control and precision when manipulating water, but only water she had conjured herself. Manipulating water from other sources was apparently beyond her. As was the many healing spells associated with the water element. This was bothering Louise because she knew the theory behind all these spells yet she could not put it into practice. No, it was more than that, Louise felt that the theory was wrong. The way she cast her spells was so different from how she was supposed to that she might be convinced her way of doing it was wrong if only it didn't feel so right. She was beginning to think she wasn't really a water mage, after all. Louise shook her head, dismissing her feelings and ending her reverie. They had their place, but not now. Not when she needed to focus. Not when she was planning an ambush.
Around the corner she heard her target approaching. The characteristic sound of short steps followed by the thud of a wooden staff: Tabitha was coming. At just the right moment, Louise rounded the corner on a course headed straight for the diminutive blue haired girl. Tabitha, in an impressive display of reflexes gently moved to the side, avoiding the collision and forcing Louise to deploy her backup plan: Seemingly tripping over nothing, Louise fell (gracefully!) on the ground. Tabitha, being a gentlewoman, offered her a hand with a perplexed expression. Louise sprang her trap.
"Have you heard how curiously the sea churns?"
Tabitha having never quite been approached in that manner before, having never heard such a question to start a conversation with and having no clue how to answer anyways, stayed quiet but intensified her look at the smiling pink haired girl in front of her. Louise took it as a sign of interest and continued.
"Like a storm, but like the rain. Only gentle, like dripping water. It bellows from de-ep inside of me."
Louise had been wanting to talk with someone about this for a while and Tabitha was the most skilled water mage she knew. If she could compare her own experiences of the sea with Tabitha's perhaps she could find what was keeping her from learning regular water spells. Tabitha, however, offered her no such hope.
"I hear nothing of the sort." she gave an unusually long answer albeit still frank and to the point.
"Really?" Louise could hardly believe it. "But you're so good at water magic! Surely you must feel some connection to the sea?"
"No." came the answer.
As Louise stood still, mouth slightly agape, considering the implications of what she had just heard, Tabitha took it as an opportunity to resume her course towards her original destination. I'll have to think more on this, Louise concluded.
(***)
And so it was that Louise found herself in the baths once more. She had been frequenting the baths recently "to get in touch with her element". She saw no reason why it couldn't also coincide with some relaxation. At first, when she had went simply to clean herself, Louise had been surprised at how uncomfortable she had found it. The academy baths for nobles were rather spacey with water being continually heated by a built-in fire enchantment. Supposedly the height of comfort. Yet Louise had found the feel of the water to be rougher than she liked and it was never quite the right temperature. A far cry from the sea in her dreams. Louise had taken to bringing her wand with her to the baths to silently conjure some water for herself so she could relax properly. At least until she had overheard the complaints of some of the other girls, stating that the water was now somehow "different" and "creepy". Philistines.
Instead, Louise had taken to practice tuning out the surrounding world. She had found that with sufficient focus, not just emotions but even physical sensations would begin to fade away. And the baths, causing her a minor but near constant sense of discomfort was an excellent training ground for this. Focusing inwards, Louise turned her thoughts to the sea. Recalling its feel, the sound of the waves and even the subtle smell, she gradually tuned out the surrounding world. Now she could finally relax in truth. This really was the best kind of training: One with immediate gratification. She began to ponder Tabitha's words from earlier. Was it really possible that other water mages did not feel a connection to the sea in the way that she did? She had worded her question carefully, trying to convey the sensations the felt but perhaps Tabitha had misunderstood her regardless? Maybe she thought Louise was talking about a literal sea. In that case, Louise could understand why the bluette had been so dismissive. Louise certainly felt no connection to the waters surrounding her at the moment, in fact they only served to bother her. Her thoughts were involuntarily drawn back to the present by sheer discomfort. Her concentration broken, Louise only now noticed that she was sitting in scalding hot water and gave off an undignified yelp as she leapt for safety. Resurfacing from the much colder adjacent pool, Louise heard the sound of laughter.
"An ecu for your thoughts, Louise? You looked so out of it I simply had to see if you were still alive!"
Zerbst. Louise did not know why the redhead had brought her wand with her to the baths, but she was not the only one. She had just made a terrible mistake. Louise's glare turned into a smile.
"Kirche."
And then into a grin.
"You sorry fool." Louise pulled out her own wand. "You dare challenge me in my domain? Your audacity is matched only by your shortsightedness!" Louise prepared to cast her spell. She would end this once and for all.
Kirche, realizing her folly, quickly hid herself behind Tabitha who had come to the baths with her. The bluette was, surprisingly, or perhaps not surprisingly, still reading a book. It gave Louise pause but not for long.
"You coward, you wish to hide behind another's back? But it is all for naught, because there is no way Tabitha wouldn't have water proofed her book beforehand! Prepare to face the sea!"
Upon hearing this declaration, Tabitha gently shook her head. This gesture was enough to put Louise to a halt. Really? She would just risk one of the library's books like that? Unless…she had foreseen something like this happening and needed a way to enforce a ceasefire?!
Kirche, apparently coming to the same conclusion, attempted to hug the girl but Tabitha evaded deftly, carefully avoiding getting her book wet. Kirche opted for the less satisfying, purely verbal from of showing affection.
"Tabitha, you're the best!" She declared.
Knowing when she had been defeated, Louise gave a sigh before she chuckled to herself. She sat down next to the two girls with a small smile on her face.
"So, what are the two of you doing for the Fair?" In two days, there would be a small fair, where the second years could show off their newly summoned familiars. There were even prizes being awarded to the "best" familiars and some took it quite seriously.
If Kirche was surprised about the change in attitude or topic, she didn't show it. Instead she began speaking in an exited tone of voice.
"I've been teaching my Flame how to make words and symbols from fire."
"Wait, you named your salamander "Flame"?" Louise asked incredulously. Kirche had summoned a salamander, a rather large fire breathing lizard thought to be related to dragons.
"What's wrong with the name? It perfectly describes both his nature and personality." Kirche insisted, seemingly perturbed by the questioning of her naming skills.
Louise still thought the name was sort of uncreative but relented. "So, what words have you been teaching him, then?" She tried instead. This got Kirche right back into her good mood.
"Oh, this and that." she said vaguely. "I don't want to ruin the surprise. You simply must come see our performance".
Louise noted that Kirche failed to hide a conspiratorial grin after the last statement.
"Sure." she agreed easily. If nothing else, she was now curious about what the redhead was up to. "What about you, Tabitha?" She addressed the third member of their group who had remained silent so far. The girl was about to respond via a no doubt hard-to-interpret gesture but received a not so subtle prod from Kirche.
"Fly." she stated instead.
Louise nodded. It did make sense to show off a dragon like that. She almost felt a little bad for the mages with more mundane familiars like owls or toads. Surely they would be hard pressed to compete with the more exotic animals.
"What about yourself, Louise?" Kirche asked.
"Me? I have no particular plans, really. I will probably just watch the performances as a spectator. Well, some of them at least. Other than that, I heard the Princess will be attending so that's something to look forward to." Louise answered with a smile.
Kirche seemed intrigued. "Really, the Princess of Tristain? What was her name, Henrietta? Where did you hear this from?"
"I heard the rumor from Malicorne."
"…the same guy who continues to claim that you are actually dead?" Kirche now seemed dubious of the authenticity of the claim.
Louise had to agree with her that Malicorne wasn't exactly a trusted source of information. She simply hoped that this particular rumor was true. She really wanted to meet the Princess again.
"Well, he'll have to be right about something eventually."
"If you say so." Kirche didn't seem convinced.
Soon thereafter they launched into some inconsequential small talk. That is, Kirche and Louise did the talking, while Tabitha supplied the occasional gesture or one-sentence answer. Eventually, Louise excused herself claiming that if she stayed any longer her skin would be dried up for the rest of her life, another consequence of this clearly inferior water.
Louise had welcomed the distraction, but it was a distraction nonetheless. She needed to be alone with her thoughts for a while. Or, perhaps not alone after all. She had many questions and she needed answers.
(***)
Louise had dreamt of the sea ever since she failed the Summoning Ritual. She welcomed the dream, indeed she cherished it, but it came with one downside: Louise completely lost her sense of time when sleeping. She could wake from the dream whenever she wanted to, but it was impossible to tell how much time had passed in the real world. She had even been late on her very first day of class since her return. She had since gotten a maid to wake her up each morning, which according to the maid in question, was quite the endeavor. Apparently, Louise slept like a log. Or perhaps more like driftwood.
However, the second years had the day off tomorrow in order to make their final preparations for the Fair and so Louise could sleep as long as she wanted to. She had gone back to her room, taken off her clothes and laid down on the bed. The familiar feeling of the sea ebbed up in her mind, promising to take her away, and Louise let it lead her to the world of dreams.
The sea never ceased to amaze her. Here, floating in the boundless sea beneath the featureless gray sky, Louise felt at home. More so than her room at the academy, even more so than her room in the La Vallière estate. Neither could compare to this. If just thinking about the sea could relax her, it stood to reason that the real deal would exacerbate that effect. And indeed, floating on the ocean, Louise felt relaxed like nowhere else. But she didn't come her just to relax. No, she did that every other night. This time she had come for answers.
Louise wasn't stupid. On the contrary, she considered herself to be rather smart. And it was about time she stopped ignoring the unusual circumstance surrounding her "awakening" into power. First off, everything had started when she had had a vison of the sea, one that drove her into unconsciousness. That was unusual enough by itself, she had not heard of any mages going through anything similar. Then there was the way she could still feel a connection to the sea even when awake, and how it served to calm her emotions. No matter how beneficial it was, it was still odd. And finally, there was her spellcasting. She was able to do certain things "beyond" her level with ease but completely unable to do other things that even novice water mages could do in their sleep and the theory of spellcasting that she gotten ingrained in her head previously, was of no help to her. Tabitha had confirmed her suspicions that other water mages did not feel a connection to the sea in the same way she did, and she had discovered one last detail in her own experimentation: She did not need a wand to cast her spells. The waters simply obeyed her thoughts with no wand movement or incantation necessary. All this could only ever add up to one conclusion: Something was off.
Louise had had a hypothesis. She had thought that she might not have failed the Summoning Ritual after all. No, instead she had summoned a powerful water spirit, but one without physical form. And her supposed water magic was really just channeling the power of this spirit. It had seemed reasonable and would explain many of Louise's experiences from the last week and a half. Yet now, being back in the dream, Louise could only consider it as the height of ludicrousness.
A sea stretching in every direction without end. Depths that went on forever, depths anything would disappear into. This dream she returned to every time she closed her eyes. This was not the work of a mere spirit. Human minds were not supposed to witness this sight, Louise had gathered as much from her first vision of the sea: A short glimpse had been enough to drive her into unconsciousness. And yet, the sea had welcomed her so. The vision was granted her, not from maliciousness but as a boon, a blessing even. Her own, feeble mind had simply been unable to comprehend its greatness. Louise looked over the sea again. A Great Deep Sea. No, this was not the work of a spirit, this was not the work of anything that could be classified by humans. Louise was tempted to call it the work of a god, were she not uncertain that such a term born from humans was still insufficient. That which had created this sea. This being that defied comprehension, which towered above humanity, Louise could only call it as a Great One. And she had come to this dream to seek an audience.
Louise rose from her prone form, the water's surface easily carrying her weight as she stood above the waves. She then knelt down, as if to swear fealty to a lord. She doubted that this position held any significance to a Great One, but she felt that it was worth doing regardless. Louise considered her words carefully and spoke with a certain sense of trepidation.
"Great One of the Sea. I, Louise Francoise Le Blanc de La Vallière, recognize and value the blessing bestowed upon me. And yet, I desire to further understand its profundity. But first, I must know more of my benefactor. Please, will you reveal yourself to me?"
Louise kept her kneeling position, waiting with bated breath for any kind of response. She did not know how long she waited, but eventually, something happened. Once more, Louise heard an indescribable sound in her head. However, she had primed herself for this. She knew now, that it was a voice. She could not hope to understand the message in full, yet images and concepts were still conveyed to her mind.
Ocean.
Mother.
Nightmare.
But Louise understood more than that. She could see a symbol. One embodying all these concepts but with a phonetic interpretation. A name…? That night, in the dream, Louise learned the name of a Great One.
Kos. Or was it Kosm?