Alya Lavellan loved women. That was apparent. She flirted with anything that walked on two legs and had breasts with the only exception being that she avoided templars. This was understandable, considering she was an apostate however, there was a smaller exception within that exception. And that was Cullen Rutherford, The only male she flirted with during her time in the Inquisition. At first, she did it mostly because she found it utterly charming that a man in his early thirties could act like a blushing stuttering mess after one flirtatious comment from her.
She'd be lying if she said it didn't make her heart skip a beat but at the time, the greater part of her heart beat wildly for the Seeker, Cassandra. The woman was utterly delightful. Strong, and smart, with an unwavering sense of justice. Who wouldn't fall for that? Although Alya's hope for anything happening with the Seeker was crushed shortly after she became Inquisitor. Cassandra took her aside and spoke to her about all the flirting.
Alya now leaned over the side of the ramparts and looked out at the scenery beyond the castle as she replayed the conversation she'd just had with Cassandra. "You are the Herald, and the Inquisitor, and… a woman." Inquisitor Lavellan was devastated, obviously, but she didn't resent Cassandra. You can't make someone love you, and you certainly couldn't hate someone for not loving you. It wasn't Cassandra's fault, but Creators, did it hurt. She didn't realize anyone had approached her until they spoke. "Inquisitor, are you alright? You're crying." Startled, she whipped around, and strands of her choppy hair stuck to her wet face as she did. "o-oh, C-c-ommander Rutherf-ford…. I did n-not hear you ap-proach." She struggled to keep from stuttering as she was wracked with fits of gasping from her sudden bout of tears. The blonde rubbed the back of his neck, at a loss for any way to comfort the crying elf. "would… you like to talk about it?" Alya sighed. As she turned around to face the mountains again. Cullen took this as a sign to leave, and was about to turn and walk back the way he'd come when she said, "I got rejected before I could even confess, today." Cullen froze to the spot. He was over the moon at the fact that she had opened up to him, but also disappointed to hear she had been pining over someone else. "I'm sorry, Inquisitor."
He couldn't see her face, but saw her shake her head. "Why? It is not your fault. It is no one's fault. No one can choose who they do or do not love." He was in awe of how calmly she spoke in the wake of having her heart broken. "Still," Cullen replied, "it's never easy to be rejected." For the first time since he announced his presence, she turned to look at him and she had a skeptical look on her face "Oh? And how would you know, Mister Godly-Good-Looks? I bet you have never faced rejection a day in your life." He blushed at the comment on his appearance and covered it up with a sheepish "well, actually…" she immediately seemed regretful "Oh Mythal, forgive me. I was unaware… who...?" Cullen sighed, and leaned against the ramparts next to her. "Her name was Belino. Belino Amell." Alya's eyes widened. Everyone was familiar with the name of Ferelden's hero. "Oh, Cullen." Her voice was dripping in sympathy. And he tried to ignore the tremendous flip his heart performed when she addressed him by his first name.
"Ah. Yes. I was a templar at the circle with her. I remember begging a friend of mine to switch library guard shifts because I liked watching her read, which she did all the time." He laughed fondly. "But then, the circle fell, and she came back, and that man… Alistair… well, it was obvious they were together. And in my state, I sort of confessed everything to her and. Maker it's still embarrassing to think about." He finished as he buried his face in his hands.
Alya giggled a little. "You know, no one knows this about me, not even Dorian, but…" she stopped suddenly as if unsure if she should say anything. He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and smiled, hoping to encourage her. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked down at her hands, one glowing, one not, before she continued. "Back before I discovered I was a mage, I was an apprentice to our craftsman. I loved crafting. Still do. It is my passion, and something I hope to pursue as a career after all of this." She said gesturing at the whole of Skyhold. "There was… a young merchant. Human. Male. He would buy things I had crafted for more than they were probably worth, and he called me pretty. We were -well, I thought we were- in love. I would sneak out at night to meet him and one night, he kissed me, and I sort of… burst into flames. Literally." She laughed, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"he freaked out, and ran. I went home crying that night, and in the morning, Templars were swarming our camp. They slaughtered our first, my mother, and many others, including a little girl of three. She had just come into her magic." Cullen felt sick to his stomach. He'd heard rumors of things like this happening, but he'd always hoped they were just that. "I became the new first, and was forced to give up my passion. But I never blamed that merchant boy for what happened. I blamed myself. My magic. I always thought, maybe if I had not been so foolish to assume he had loved me, or if I never was a mage than…" Cullen cut her off "Stop. Just like you can't choose who loves you, you can't choose who you are. You are a talented mage, an amazing leader, and an extraordinarily beautiful woman. It wasn't foolish to assume he'd love you, because you are a woman who's easy to love. Anyone would be lucky to earn your affections."
He felt his face grow wildly hot, but couldn't stop the stream of words coming from his mouth. "I… Thank you, Cullen." She whispered after a while. The mage had a sudden urge to hug the man, and so she did, burying her face in the fur on his shoulders and breathing in his scent. When he reciprocated the embrace, she could feel him bury his face in her hair. The gesture made her heart leap lot more significantly than it usually did around the former Templar. From behind her, she heard "Commander, Josephine told me to collect you for that meeting with her and a noblewoman." What was his name? Jet? Jake? There were so many, and even though Alya was trying to learn everyone's names she found it difficult with so many underlings. "Ah. Yes." She heard Cullen grumble into her hair as they untangled. "I will speak with you another time, My Lady." He said before leaving with the scout. The way he said, 'My Lady' had her breath hitch and her body heat spike. Wow. Just… wow. She thought to herself. Alya had seen and interacted with the man before obviously, but she'd really failed to notice him before.