Chapter 12

Saturday 30thAugust 2014

I get out of bed miserable after what seems like only a few hours' sleep. My dreams had been plagued with snarling jaws filled with sharp white teeth and the overwhelming sensation that something terrible was going to happen. It takes me a moment to remember I'm leaving for Heathstone Academy tomorrow and my mood plummets further.

Dragging myself out of bed after staring at the canopy of my bed for a good twenty minutes, I try to find some clothes to wear. Bleached, ripped jeans, a baggy over-large grey sweater and my favorite canvas shoes were going to be the order of the day.

As I check the time on my phone I see the messages from Cloud last night and smile. I guess at least I know what I can do to get my mind off of things for a little while.

Heading downstairs, I'm not looking forward to seeing Mom. Last night's party was good and everything, but I still haven't worked out exactly how I feel about her keeping such a huge secret from me, and I want some time to myself before being confronted about it.

Luckily for me it's Saraiyu and Sky who are in the kitchen when I walk in.

"Good morning," Saraiyu greets me while Sky just glances at me and away again.

"Morning," I mutter, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl and inspecting it. "I'm gonna head to Cloud's for the morning. I'll be back after lunch sometime if you wanna tell Mom for me." I'm not talking to anyone in particular, but Saraiyu nods understandingly as Sky shoots me a quizzical look.

Taking a banana with me, I leave the house quickly. It's chilly outside, and I almost go back for a jacket but the thought of running into Mom forces me to continue to Cloud's. I feel terrible about avoiding her, but I just can't deal with it right now.

There aren't many people out and about as I walk the streets, most people probably dusting off their heaters or cleaning out fire places. Winter starts early up here in the mountains, and I heard someone say the other day that it's going to be a harsh one, so everyone's already preparing for it.

This time at the Hale's house, I recognize both Luca's Jeep and Cloud's Camaro among the cars scattered around the yard. Half of them are partially pulled apart or on blocks because the wheels are missing. I idly wonder which of them is the backyard mechanic, and remember that Cloud said he'd worked at the mechanic place in town. Maybe it's both of them?

I shrug the random thought off and knock on the door. At first I can't hear anything and am about to knock a second time when I hear footsteps. It's Luca who opens the door and the momentary look of surprise makes me smile. It's nice to know that I can surprise him.

I haven't forgotten that night at the cabins – not by a long shot – but I have too much else to worry about to be thinking about how embarrassed I am or how big of a mistake it was.

"Serenity," he says, and I suppose that he's using my actual name because he hadn't been expecting me and his flirtatious nickname has slipped his mind.

"Hey, is Cloud home?" I ask, getting straight to the point. I don't want to be standing here once Luca regains his smirk and the personality that goes along with it.

I'm not sure if it's my imagination or not, but an expression that looks very much like hurt flashes across his face. He steps back into the dim hallway to let me by, so I don't get a chance to look closer before it disappears. "Yeah, he's in his room. Do you remember the way?"

"Yeah, thanks," I say, and set off down the hallway. I feel self-conscious as hell, feeling his gaze on the back of my head. As soon as I'm upstairs I feel like I can breathe properly again. I take a few calming breaths before finding Cloud's door and knocking on it.

I can hear the strained tones of music through the mahogany door and hope he'd be able to hear me knocking. Thankfully I'm saved having to plan past that when he opens the door.

"Serenity!" he beams down at me, and the difference between his greeting and Luca's is on such opposite ends of inviting that it's almost funny. For a moment I think he's going to hug me, but seems to think better of it and steps back to let me past instead.

I don't know what to think of that. Do I want him to hug me? Do I want him the way I thought I'd wanted Luca? I stomp that thought into the dust. No way is this the time to think about my attraction to these two breathtaking male specimens.

"Hey, sorry I didn't text you first, kinda left the house in a hurry." It's a poor excuse, but there's understanding in his eyes.

"That's cool, I totally get it. D'you want something to eat?" he asks, gesturing towards his coffee table. I almost gasp when I see the piles of food laid out there. There's a tray of diced fruit, a plate of sandwiches, a family size Hawaiian pizza, a bowl of Doritos and dip – with half of the chips made into nachos – a pitcher of orange juice and another one with chilled water.

"Jesus," I say, staring at it all.

"Yeah, I guess I tend to eat a lot before going back to school, and I was kinda hoping you would be by so I got some extra for you." He smiles at me tentatively, and it's so completely different from his usual quiet, contained self that I have to smile back. He's so beautiful, and I so very much want to reach up and brush away the hair that hangs across his eyes.

"Thanks, that pizza does looks amazing," I say, mouth almost watering at the sight of it. It's probably the sweetest thing ever, the fact he'd been hoping I would come over today. Despite us being in a bedroom and it not exactly being the most traditional breakfast spread, it's almost romantic.

"Well help yourself, I'm just going to jump through the shower quickly," he says, going to a chest of drawers and rifling through it for clean clothes.

I feel slightly awkward about being left in here by myself, but I agree anyway and settle myself onto the couch.

"I'll only be a few minutes," he says, ducking into the adjoining bathroom.

Alrighty then, I think to myself and try my best not to picture him naked. I somewhat succeed, only imagining him shirtless instead. Helping myself to a slice of pizza, I take a bite and sink back into the couch in bliss. This is probably the best Hawaiian I've had in years, since the time Mom and I found this cute little pizzeria in Santa Monica, but after only a few months of being regular customers, they went bankrupt and closed down.

I hear the shower in the bathroom start up and settle in to wait.

My eyes flutter open and for a moment I'm disorientated in the dim light. Where am I? It takes me a moment to process the warm weight over me, which turns out to be a crochet blanket. I can hear the soft buzz of the TV turned almost to mute.

I sit up slowly as I realize I'd fallen asleep on Cloud's couch. Again.

He glances over at me and smiles when he sees I'm awake. "Hey, you fell asleep while I was in the shower," he tells me, correctly assuming that I'm still a little dazed from my nap.

"How long was I asleep for?" I ask, tucking my legs up under me as I stretch my arms.

"A few hours, I see you made fast work of the pizza before you fell asleep, though," he says, chuckling.

I blush. I'd eaten probably six slices, and only left him the remaining two because I started to feel bad. "It was really good," I mumble.

"That's okay," he says, grinning. "It's always nice to see a girl with a decent appetite."

"I'm probably going to have to start jogging or something to keep fit if I start eating like this all the time," I grumble, not looking forward to that prospect one bit.

"Once you change for the first time you won't have to worry about that; your body is using that much energy that just about any body fat you have is burned away in the first few months unless you keep replacing it."

I gulp. Each time I think of the horrifically sickening sound of crunching bone, and the idea of my small body becoming something so huge, I feel ill.

"I'm not so sure I'm looking forward to any aspect of it, no matter the health benefits," I tell him, keeping my eyes on the TV.

I feel his fingers grasp my chin and turn my head, forcing me to look at him. He's closer than he'd been before, his breath warm on my face. "It's nothing to be scared of," he tells me softly, releasing my chin only to lace his fingers through mine. "I was scared, too, when it came time to change for the first time, but it was an amazing experience and not something I'll ever forget."

His words register, but I can barely think with him this close. My heart rate kicks up a few notches, leaving me breathless. I bite my lip, swallowing hard.

I'm not thinking properly, my mind like a broken record, stuck on his perfectly plump lips coming closer and closer.

I should stop him, but I can't bring myself to do it.

His lips press against mine softly, caressing and biting gently on my bottom lip. I gasp against his mouth, taken by surprise by the pleasant shivers spreading through my body. He pulls me closer, a firm arm around my waist, the other hand cupping my cheek.

I'm adrift on a sea of endorphins, basking in the feelings that I didn't even know I had. He's the first to pull back, his breathing slightly erratic, and now my mind is free to start thinking again, I'm remembering a very similar situation only a few days ago, with a different shade of green eyes staring back at me.

"Sorry," Cloud breathes, his expression slightly stricken. "I didn't mean to take advantage or anything, you just looked so beautiful and I couldn't help myself." He flushes with shame, and my heart contracts. I feel bad for him, and reach out to clasp his hand.

"It's okay, I just wasn't expecting it," I say honestly, hoping that I haven't inadvertently scared him off kissing me again. I almost hate myself for doing this with him after what happened with Luca, but I've put that down to too much alcohol. It isn't like he's given me any indication that he wants anything to do with me since then, so screw him.

Cloud's an amazing guy, and someone I can really imagine myself being with. I didn't intend to even start a relationship, but clearly my heart has other plans, and I won't say no if he ever asks me out.

"I wasn't really expecting it either, to be honest," he says shyly.

He doesn't kiss me again, but I still have hope when he holds onto my hand for the rest of the afternoon as we watch movies together.

Finally, the sun is sinking below the tree line outside as the movie we're watching finishes. I stand, stretching.

"I guess I'd better go, got lots to do before tomorrow," I say, pulling a face.

Cloud stands, and he's so much taller that I literally have to tilt my head all the way back when he's close like this. He seems hesitant about something, but after a moment slowly leans down and kisses me.

I'm a little taken aback again, but respond quickly, kissing him back perhaps a little more enthusiastically than necessary. I wrap my arms around his neck, while his wind around my waist, the kiss deepens. It's even better than the first time.

Something deep inside my belly tightens, my legs shaky, and I'm glad for his arms around me because I might fall to the floor otherwise. Even with the passion being poured into the kiss from both sides, I can feel Cloud holding back slightly and it makes me smile. He's such the gentleman, not wanting to make me feel like he's overwhelming me and still allowing me the opportunity to back out if I want to.

Oh how I want to stay like this forever, but I really do need to go. Reluctantly I pull back, breathless. "I have to go," I whisper, arms still around his neck. I don't want to let go.

"I know," he whispers back. "I'll see you on the bus tomorrow." His words make my heart swell, and suddenly I can't wait to leave for the Academy.