Note: chapter title from "torch song" by shady bard.

9. what a time to pick a fight

… … …

When Damon found out he was forced to get a tutor, he never imagined he'd have this much fun. Then again, maybe it's just his tutor who makes everything more fun.

Okay, so the fun part wasn't actually the tutoring. But once they got that out of the way, it was easy enough to convince her to go out with him again. He likes that it's convenient for them to spend time together, that they can just tack a few hours on to the end of their Monday tutoring sessions to go do something fun. Take today, for instance. He just suggested they head to a vintage movie theatre in the next town over, and she just shrugged and said okay.

That's how they ended up strolling along the deserted main road, talking about anything and everything and nothing, all at the same time. They spent the last hour and a half sitting in the back of the theatre, openly mocking the cheesy movie playing on the screen and throwing popcorn at a couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other. (He thought for a second the guy was gonna come after him, but the sound of Elena's laugh was more than worth the risk.)

"You and Stefan seem to be getting closer lately," Elena comments.

She's looking straight ahead instead of at him, but he can see her coy smile. The breeze blows a strand of her hair in front of her face, and he resists the urge to reach over and tuck it behind her ear, shoves his hands in the pockets of his jacket instead. He nods. "I think we're just starting to understand each other a little better."

"I'm glad," she says. "I think he could use someone in his corner, with all this messed up stuff with your dad going on."

"I wouldn't go that far," Damon smirks. "But at least we're united against a common enemy now."

She's quiet for a moment before she takes a deep breath. "I've been thinking I should probably tell him about us."

"Us?" Damon smirks. "What's there to tell?"

Elena rolls her eyes, smiles in spite of herself. "You know what I mean."

"It's always been your call," Damon reminds her. "Whether he knows or not… it doesn't really matter to me."

"It could change things," she worries. "On one hand, the fact that the two of you are working things out means he might not be so angry about it. On the other hand, I've been lying to him about this for so long that he's going to be angry no matter when he finds out. And on top of that, I don't want to ruin all the progress you guys have made in the past month or so."

Damon rolls his eyes. "Stop worrying about everyone else," he insists. "That's what got you into this mess in the first place. Just tell him, Elena. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I could lose my best friend," she fires back, annoyed. "That means something to me."

"Yeah, well, you have a hell of a way of showing it," he argues. "Best friends don't keep secrets like this from one another. I don't even understand what the problem is."

"You're the problem," she sighs. "Because even if he forgives me, it won't be the same unless we stop this."

"This?"

"This," she emphasizes, exasperated. "Whatever the hell this is."

He wants to make her elaborate, just to see her blush like that, but he bites his tongue. "So what you're saying is he'll make you choose, and you'll choose him."

She stops walking, turns to face him. "See, that's where it gets fuzzy," she admits. "Because I don't want to choose."

He swallows, and it's like he can hear his own heartbeat in his ears. "You said it yourself. He's your best friend."

"Yeah, but so were you, at one point," she reminds him. "It would suck to lose that again."

He just looks at her, searches her eyes for the hidden meaning in whatever she's saying. "If Stefan asks you to choose, he's a dick," Damon tells her. "Just because he's got some vendetta against me doesn't mean you have to hate me, too."

Elena mulls that over, turns to keep walking. "I know it's selfish," she says quietly. "But I want both of you in my life. I just don't know how to do that without losing him."

Damon doesn't know what to say, so he just lets the silence hang between them for a moment. He can't deny that he likes the direction this conversation has taken them. It's nice to hear her say that she wants him in her life, because he wants her in his life, too; it's nice to know that they're on the same page, from that perspective. He decides he's done listening to her argue with herself and changes the subject.

"So, Professor Gilbert," he teases. "How would you rate my improvement over the last month?"

"Well, you're not a world-class jerk anymore, so I'd say you've made great strides." She gasps, covers her mouth with her hand. "Oh, you meant academically?"

He bumps her hip with his, can't help but laugh. "Come on, I'm serious. If Coach asks you for a progress report, what are you gonna tell him?"

"You're doing great, Damon," she assures him, smiling up at him. "I'd say Coach would be very pleased with your progress."

"So it's not a waste of your time?" he smirks, remembering that first afternoon in the tutoring center.

She looks down, won't meet his eyes, but she's smiling. "You are anything but a waste of my time," she murmurs.

He just watches her, a smile spreading across his lips. He's hyperaware of how close she is to him, how if he really wanted to, he could just slide his fingers between hers. He might even be able to pull her close enough to kiss her. God, he wants to, maybe more than he's ever wanted anything.

"We should probably head back," she says then, looking up at him, and it's like a bucket of ice water on his head.

Yes, they probably should head back to Mystic Falls, where they have to go back to pretending they hardly know each other. He's been trying to be cool about this whole secret rendezvous thing they've got going, but it bugs him. It would be nice to not have to walk right past her without a word when he sees her in the halls. But he's lucky she's even talking to him at all, so he supposes he should take whatever he can get. And as long as this thing between them stays a secret, he doesn't have to worry about her choosing Stefan over him. Yeah, he thinks he'll just ride this arrangement out for as long as he can. The more time he has with her, the harder he can make her decision, when the time comes. He's gonna do everything he can to make it the hardest damn decision she's ever made in her life.

… … …

Stefan has this nagging feeling in the back of his head that Elena is keeping something from him. He doesn't know why, or what it could be, but it won't leave him alone. He's hardly seen her at all in the past week and a half, and the more he thinks about it, he realizes she's been somewhat MIA for a few weeks now. But the few times he has seen her, she's been completely normal around him. He wishes he could explain why he feels the way he does, the rationale behind his suspicions, but he hardly understands it himself most days.

"Focus, Stefan," Damon scolds when he lets a perfect pass go right through his hands. "You ran the route wrong, too. What the hell is up with you today? I thought we've been making progress these last few weeks."

Stefan rolls his eyes. "Believe it or not, my performance in football is not the most important issue I have right now," he sneers.

"Well then what is it?" Damon insists. "You're obviously not gonna be able to focus if you don't get it off your chest, so spit it out."

Stefan looks up at the sky, rests his hands on his hips to catch his breath. He doesn't really want to talk to Damon about this, but he doesn't really know who else he would talk to. "I'm worried about Elena."

"What about Elena?"

"She's just been a little checked out lately. It's not like her."

Damon tosses the ball between his hands. "Maybe she's just busy," he reasons. "You're not her only friend, you know."

"I know that," Stefan scoffs, rolls his eyes. "But I think she might be hiding something from me."

"You're being paranoid."

"Nah, man. You don't know her like I do."

That's a low blow, Stefan thinks for a moment, considering their history. But it's the truth, so he won't apologize for it.

Damon turns, walks away from him, but Stefan hears his response loud and clear. "I know her better than you think."

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? He hears an undercurrent of hidden meaning in Damon's words, but he can't even begin to decide what it might mean. Stefan furrows his brow, opens his mouth to respond, but Damon speaks again. "Run that same route again, and do it right this time."

There's something going on here, he thinks, and sooner or later, he's gonna figure out what it is. But he's going about this all wrong; it's Elena he should be talking to. Maybe if he just asks her straight up, she'll tell him he's being paranoid, that nothing's going on, that everything's fine. Yes, that's what he needs to do. She's harder to pin down than usual these days, but if anyone knows where to find her, it's him.

… … …

Elena's home alone, sitting at the breakfast bar doing her homework, when there's a knock at the door. She moves to get up to answer it, but Stefan comes through the door before she even moves. She smiles. "Hey."

"Hey, stranger," Stefan says with a grin. He sits down next to her at the counter. "Where is everyone?"

"Alaric and Jenna decided they were going out for dinner and didn't tell me." She rolls her eyes, but she can't help but smile. She envies their relationship, that they're so desperate to spend time together that they take every opportunity they can. "So I'm having leftover mac & cheese. Want some?"

"Hell, yeah," Stefan agrees, grabs a fork from the drawer and digs in. "Hey, are you doing okay?"

Elena furrows her brow in confusion, looks up at him. "Yeah. Why? What makes you think I'm not okay?"

Stefan shrugs, but he won't meet her eyes. She feels unease pooling in the pit of her stomach. "You've just been a little hard to reach lately," he tells her. "I feel like I've hardly seen you at all. I miss hanging out with you."

Elena feels a pang of guilt in her chest. "I miss you, too, Stefan," she says, forcing herself to smile at him. "But I promise, everything's fine. Nothing crazy going on here."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive." She tilts her head, studies him for a moment. "Is something bothering you? You seem off."

"I just…" He sighs, looks up at her. "I get this weird feeling like you're not telling me something. You're sure there's not anything you're not telling me?"

Of course there is. I'm just a big fat coward. "Of course not," she lies. She smiles. "Stop being so paranoid."

She lets the relief flood her system when he laughs. "Yeah, Damon said the same thing," he says, and just like that, she's convinced him.

Later, when he's gone, she stares blankly at the wall, wondering when she became a person who lies to her best friend's face. She has so many reasons in her head why she hasn't told him what's really going on with Damon, but the longer this goes on, the more she realizes none of those excuses are good enough. That deep hole she's dug herself all of the sudden has nothing to support the walls, and sooner or later they're gonna come tumbling down around her. It doesn't really matter, she thinks. She's already suffocating under the weight of her lies.

… … …

Caroline wishes she could say she didn't spend all weekend thinking about her last encounter with Stefan, but she'd be lying if she did. It's not like anything groundbreaking happened, she thinks, rolling her eyes at herself. She will admit, though, that it was nice of him to show concern for her without any ulterior motives. She's had plenty of guys ask her how she's doing after her breakup with Matt, but it was so painfully obvious what their intentions were that she couldn't take any of them seriously. She could see in Stefan's eyes that he was genuinely worried about her, wanted to know that she was doing okay. And the way he leaned in, so close she could have kissed him if she wanted to, the way his eyes bore into hers… he can go from sweet to sexy as hell at the drop of a hat. She's never seen anything like it.

Since he initiated their last conversation, the ball is in her court this time. On Wednesday morning, she decides she's gonna kick things up a notch.

"Are you ever gonna ask me out?"

She leans against the locker next to his, and he doesn't look at her, but she sees the smirk he's trying to hide. He closes his locker door, turns to face her. "Didn't you just break up with your boyfriend?"

"You didn't answer the question."

"Neither did you."

She rolls her eyes. "So, what? Matt and I were over long before we broke up. I'm over it, and I'm ready to move on."

"Is that so," Stefan deadpans. "Less than two weeks and you're over it? Just like that?"

"Just like that," she confirms with a smirk. "In case that's what's holding you back."

Stefan rolls his eyes, breathes out a laugh. "I told you, Caroline, I'm not gonna be your rebound."

"Why are you so damn difficult?" Caroline scowls, but he just keeps smiling at her, and she wants to smack it right off his face. Jerk.

"Because." He steps forward so he can speak quietly. "I like you, Caroline. A lot."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

She turns around, resists the temptation to stomp her feet in annoyance as she walks away from him. She doesn't understand, at all. He sends all the signals that he likes her. (Not to mention that he just flat out told her.) So why can't he just grow some balls and ask her out? She's single, he's single, they're both willing. She doesn't know what the hell his problem is.

"Hello, Caroline."

She rolls her eyes, continues to gather her books for the day from her locker. "Good morning, Klaus."

Klaus smirks, leans against the locker next to hers. She refuses to give him the satisfaction of looking at him while he speaks. "You look stunning today, love. Can I walk you to class?"

Caroline huffs, shuts her locker. "If you must."

He falls into step beside her as she heads toward first period. "So, considering your ongoing pursuit of Stefan, I'm assuming I've given you ample time to grieve your prior relationship. I wonder if you might reconsider my proposition."

Caroline smirks. "If I'm pursuing Stefan, what makes you think there's any room for you in that equation?"

Klaus hums, smirks back at her. "He doesn't seem all that interested. I, on the other hand, feel that I have made my intentions very clear."

"Yes, indeed you have," Caroline agrees. "I don't think your proposition is something I'm interested in at the moment."

"Hmm." Caroline stops in front of her classroom, and Klaus stops beside her. "You will be soon, though, I have no doubt. I'll be waiting." He backs away, his smirk plastered on his face, and Caroline shakes her head as he turns to walk away.

She catches sight of Stefan down the hall, walking with Rebekah, and feels a surge of jealousy rush through her. They're both laughing, and she's touching his arm, and he doesn't seem to have any problem reciprocating her interest in him. She's starting to wonder if maybe Stefan's not the noble, honest guy she thinks he is. Hell, he just flat out told her how much he likes her, and now he's flirting with some other girl?

Well, Caroline thinks, her gaze shifting back to Klaus as he walks away. Maybe two can play at that game.

… … …

Damon's a little annoyed with himself, if he's being honest. He can't stop thinking about Elena, and about the things she said on Monday, and about this twisted little secret friendship (or whatever the hell it is) they've got going on. He likes her; that part is obvious. But despite her admission that she wants him in her life, he still can't figure out how she feels about him. Just because they're on okay terms now doesn't mean she's forgiven him for the last few years. Is she still holding that over him? How important can he really be to her if she wants to keep everything between them a secret? And where does he stand in comparison to Stefan?

It's making his head spin, and he needs to talk to someone about it. He can't talk to Stefan, who ironically would be the best source of all things Elena. He can't talk to Enzo because… well, because Enzo just doesn't get it. So he's gotta find someone else who knows Elena, someone who can give him some insight on the last few years and where he might stand with her now.

He knows Ric generally stays after school for an hour or so to finish up paperwork, so since he's got some time before practice on Wednesday, he decides to just go for it.

"Damon," Ric greets in surprise. "How can I help you?"

"You have a minute to talk?" Damon asks.

"Sure," Ric hedges as Damon shuts the door, leans against a desk on the front row. "Everything okay?"

Damon hesitates. "I know that you know that there's something going on between me and Elena."

Ric smirks, crosses his arms, leans back in his chair. "Ah. I see where this is going."

"I'm just not sure where I stand with her, and I was hoping you could give me some insight."

"Insight on what?" Ric laughs. "Elena tells me about as much as she tells anyone else. Whatever she's told you is probably more than I know."

"Not about now," Damon clarifies. "About… the last few years, I guess."

Ric clears his throat, mulls it over. He chooses his words carefully. "I'm gonna be straight with you, Damon. Elena was really hurt for a long time over everything that went down between the three of you. I'm not sure how much of that was fueled by things you did or said to her and how much of it was Stefan's influence, but I do know that if you had asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said you had a lot of making up to do."

Damon nods, looks him in the eye. "Fair enough."

"But things have changed," Ric continues. "She's always had a soft spot for you, Damon, you know that. Whatever you've done or said has given her the idea that you're not that person anymore, or that maybe you never were that person. She trusts you." He leans forward, rests his arms on the desk in front of him. "I can tell you care about her, even if she can't really see it. But I'm warning you right now: if her trust in you is misplaced, or if this is all some big game to you…"

"It's not," Damon tells him hurriedly. "Really. I wouldn't do that to her."

"I'd like to believe you." Ric runs his hand over the scruff on his chin. "But it's obvious that she has decided that she wants you in her life, and that's really all that matters. Just don't screw it up again."

"See, that's where things get confusing, though," Damon counters. "How badly does she really want me in her life if she can't even tell Stefan we're hanging out? Am I really forgiven if she's that afraid of his reaction?"

"Ah, the elephant in the room," Ric smirks. "If you're looking for an explanation on Elena's reasons for keeping things a secret, I can't really help you, because I don't fully understand it myself. If you ask me, it's not Stefan who's preventing her from having both of you in her life. It's her."

Damon lets out a breath. "That's what I'm afraid of."

Ric leans back in his chair again. "I wish I could help you out more, Damon. But the inner workings of the teenage girl mind are not my area of expertise."

Damon snorts out a laugh. "You and me both. Thanks anyway, Ric."

"Anytime," Ric smirks.

He doesn't really feel any better about the situation, but at least he knows he's not the only one who doesn't understand it. He likes Ric a lot, too; he's like a father figure who speaks to him as if he's an equal. He wonders if maybe that's part of why Stefan spends so much time at the Gilbert house. God knows their father has never had a conversation like that with either of them, or any conversation that didn't revolve around football or 'the great Salvatore name.' He rolls his eyes. Just one more incentive to get that college scholarship and move as far away from this town as possible, which means he still needs a tutor, which means he still needs Elena. He wishes everything didn't have to be so damn complicated.

… … …

On Wednesday after cheerleading practice, Caroline practically invites herself and Bonnie over to Elena's house for some much-needed girl talk. Elena rolls her eyes, but Stefan's been around less often and the house has been pretty quiet these days, so it's nice to have voices to fill the silence. The last thing Elena wants to do is talk about all the drama she's got going on her own life, so she can't say she minds that Caroline monopolizes the conversation with her latest romantic predicament.

"What do you guys think I should do?" Caroline asks once she's finished venting.

"Sometimes I wonder why you think you have any issues at all, Caroline," Bonnie sighs. "I can't even get one guy to ask me out."

"Haven't you been listening?" Caroline rolls her eyes. "The problem is that Stefan won't ask me out." She turns to Elena. "There's no chance you'd talk to him for me, would you?"

Elena smirks. "Not a chance in hell."

Caroline scowls, throws a chip at her friend. "Some friend you are."

"Look, if you want to move on, then do it," Bonnie tells her. "If Stefan's not gonna make a move, then screw him. And despite how much you say you loathe Klaus, you're attracted to him and you know it."

Caroline hums. "That accent is pretty sexy."

"So," Elena laughs. "What's the problem then? He likes you, you like him. He's not looking for anything serious, and you just got out of a relationship, so maybe you shouldn't be either."

"Besides," Bonnie continues, smiling conspiratorially. "Maybe it'll even make Stefan jealous."

"Okay, you both make good points. But what if it just pushes him away instead? What if I drive him into Rebekah's arms?"

"Oh, please," Elena rolls her eyes. "Stefan's a big boy who can make his own choices. You need to take him at his word. If he wanted to be with you right now, he would."

"And stop worrying about Rebekah," Bonnie adds. "She's harmless."

"You didn't see the way they were laughing together this morning," Caroline scowls.

"Look, Care," Elena sighs. "It all comes down to what you want. We can't tell you what to do. If you want Stefan, you're gonna have to wait for him. But if you want instant gratification…"

"I'd say Klaus is your man," Bonnie finishes.

By the way Caroline smirks, Elena's pretty sure she's made up her mind, and the chips are not falling in Stefan's favor. She sighs. Maybe she should have fought for him more, but she hasn't talked to him enough recently to know where he stands, anyway. She feels a pang of guilt at that, but then remembers that despite his accusations that he's hardly seen her, it's not like he's been blowing up her phone, either.

She's starting to wonder if even through going to all these lengths to save her friendship with Stefan, she might actually lose it in the process.

… … …

Things have been pretty quiet the past few weeks between Stefan and and his dad. The last two games have been better; he's actually gotten to play a little bit, caught a few passes, and seemingly placated his father. But after he dropped two crucial passes in the fourth quarter of tonight's game - even though they ended up winning anyway - he thinks his reprieve is probably over.

He drops his bag in the foyer of the house and makes his way to the kitchen for a glass of water, and there he is, leaning on the kitchen counter, his glass of bourbon empty in front of him.

"I'm disappointed in you, Stefan," he begins. "I thought maybe you'd turned a corner, that you were serious about continuing this family's legacy, but it seems that my faith in you was sorely misplaced."

"I didn't intentionally drop those passes, Dad," Stefan argues.

"Do not argue with me!" Giuseppe roars suddenly. He slams his hand down on the counter as he rounds it to stand in front of Stefan. He points his finger in his son's face, stares at him menacingly. "If I don't see some sort of improvement next week, there will be consequences, and I can guarantee you won't like them."

"What can you do to me that you haven't already done?" Stefan wonders aloud.

Giuseppe shoves his son back into the counter, and Stefan's head hits the cabinet behind him with a loud thump. He feels lightheaded all of a sudden, then nauseated, like he might throw up. He can't focus on Giuseppe's face in front of him as he speaks, but he hears him loud and clear. "You haven't seen the worst of what I'm capable of, son," he seethes. "I suggest you don't let it get that far."

He leaves Stefan in the kitchen, and Stefan manages to sit down in a chair at the table, rubs the back of his head. The nausea has subsided, and his vision is better, but his head is pounding now. Fuck, as if he didn't take enough hits in the game tonight, he gets even more of them when he comes home.

Damon enters the kitchen, stops in his tracks when he sees Stefan. "You alright?" he asks, moving to get them each a glass of water.

Stefan gulps his down gratefully as Damon sits down next to him. "I'm fine," he says stoically. "I just don't think I'll ever understand why you abandoned your own brother for him."

Damon's eyes widen in surprise, and he scoffs. "Okay, I guess we're finally gonna do this, aren't we?"

"It's about time, don't you think?" Stefan insists. He stands, moves away from his brother. He doesn't know if it's the game, or his father, or everything that's happening with Elena, but he's so fucking angry he can't even see straight. "You just walked away from me, Damon. At the first sign that he might actually care about you, you turned your back on me and left me in the dust."

Damon laughs disbelievingly. "Is that what you really think happened, Stefan? Have you really thought that I turned my back on you all this time?"

Stefan's brow furrows in confusion for a moment before his anger overtakes him once again. "Because that's what happened!" he yells. "You caved, and you joined the football team, and you took your rightful place as Dad's favorite son. I could've dealt with that. But you hardly even looked at me afterward."

Damon groans in frustration, and anger, and probably a few other emotions that Stefan's feeling, too. "If I abandoned you, Stefan, it's because you pushed me away first!"

Now Stefan is really confused. "I pushed you away? How the fuck is that even possible?"

"You wanted nothing to do with me," Damon reminds him. "You were the one who decided that by joining the football team, I'd betrayed you somehow, when really it had nothing to do with you at all." He looks Stefan square in the eye. "If you want to blame someone for the way things went down all those years ago, the only person you have to blame is yourself."

"Bullshit," Stefan snaps. "We weren't good enough to be seen with you anymore. Do you even know what you did to Elena? You had to know she liked you back then, and you shoved her aside like she meant nothing to you."

"Do not bring Elena into this," Damon warns. "You don't know the first thing about what happened with Elena. This isn't even about her, anyway. It's about the delusions you made up in your head."

"Delusions," Stefan laughs in disbelief. "God, you really are something. You screw things up for all of us and you somehow manage to blame it all on me."

"Jesus, Stefan, I wanted Dad to care," Damon reveals. "You can't tell me that if you had that same opportunity, you wouldn't have taken it."

"Not if it meant betraying my brother, I wouldn't!"

"But I didn't," Damon insists. "I didn't betray you. At least, I didn't mean to. I didn't want anything to change, Stefan. My decision had absolutely nothing to do with you, or Elena, or anybody except me. I'm sick and tired of being blamed for ruining a relationship that you decided was over."

Stefan's head is spinning. He must have a concussion from his father's assault if he's actually believing the things Damon is saying. He doesn't understand how a situation that he thought was always so cut and dry, so black and white, can suddenly have a gray area.

He needs to get the fuck out of here. He hears Damon call after him as he storms out the front door, but he can't be here right now, not when there's so much he needs to process. And he knows exactly where he needs to go.

… … …

When Stefan storms through her front door at 11:30 on Friday night, she almost screams from her place on the couch, until she realizes it's just him.

"Stefan," she gasps. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I can't…" Stefan takes a deep breath. He sits down on the couch next to her. "I had to get out of there."

"Out of where?" With everything she knows about his father, she can't help but panic. "Stefan, what happened?"

"Just the same shit that always happens," he seethes. "I drop a few passes, I get my head slammed into the cabinet."

Elena feels all the blood leave her face in horror. "Stefan-"

"And as if that isn't enough," Stefan almost laughs. "Damon has the nerve to tell me that all this time, it was me who pushed him away, not the other way around. As if this rift that's been growing between us for five fucking years is all my fault, when he's the one who abandoned me - abandoned us. Can you believe that?"

She feels sick to her stomach. "I-"

"Not to mention, I told Caroline I liked her the other day, because I do, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't give a rat's ass about me. So that's just fantastic. But you know what I really needed, throughout all of this?" He looks her square in the eye, and all she sees is anger. "My best friend. I needed you, Elena."

"I'm right here," she reminds him, takes his hand in hers. "Why didn't you tell me all this was going on?"

"You're never around, Elena!" he yells, and she winces. If Jenna and Alaric weren't awake before, they are now. "I tried to be nice about it the other day, but it's like you've completely disappeared. Do you even care anymore?"

"Of course I care, Stefan," she insists. "Of course I care! You're my best friend. If you needed me, you should have come to me."

"I shouldn't have to come find you, Elena," he laughs in disbelief. "You're my best friend. You're supposed to be there, like I've always been there for you. And now, when my life is pretty much falling apart around me, you're nowhere to be found."

She feels the tears welling up in her eyes, wills them to go away. "Stefan. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I never meant to-"

"You might not have meant to." He's calmer now, the anger dissipating, and instead it's replaced with sadness. "But it still happened. I just…" he sighs, shakes his head. "I have to go."

"Stefan, wait. Please, just-"

"I have to go," he repeats, and then he's gone.

"Elena?" Jenna approaches her, and Alaric watches from the stairs as Stefan shuts the door behind him. "What happened? What's going on?"

Elena feels the tears spill down her cheeks, lets out a sob. "I really screwed up, Jenna."

"Oh, honey."

She doesn't know how long she sits there, with Jenna holding her close and Alaric rubbing her back, but she can't stop crying - for Stefan, because he's going through so much and she's hardly been there for him at all, and for herself, because she's let things get so out of hand that her friendship with Stefan has suffered because of it. She doesn't know how to come back from this, how to make things right. The hurt in his eyes… it cut her to her core. He was right - he's been there for her through everything, even when she didn't ask him to be. The worst part is that she's known this whole time what he's been going through, and she left him to deal with it on his own while she focused on her own petty drama instead. Her best friend, hurting, and she couldn't be bothered to notice.

What kind of friend does that make her? What kind of person does that make her?

… … …