A/N: Sorry to say that I completely forgot that this fanfic existed. It only needed one more chapter, but boy did I take my time.
Needless to say, Grima managed to recover from his injuries very quickly given his high regenerative powers. Physically of course, that is. How long would it take for him to recover psychologically?
Well, suffice it to say that Grima was almost done. Like seriously, he was practically done. If he wasn't the Fell Dragon, he would've just retreated into his bedroom and started crying right about now.
Nothing was going as per plan. Just how hard was it to find good help these days?
"Aww, I'm sure it'll be okay, daddy," Morgan said and patted his shoulder.
"Yeah…" Grima said weakly. "Okay, did you manage to find some more people? Preferably sane ones?"
"Uh, I'm not so sure that a sane person would want this job really," Morgan said. "I mean given what we're doing…"
"You know very well what I'm talking about," Grima said. "Find me someone who I can work with!"
"Yeah, that's kind of hard though," Morgan said.
Grima sighed as Morgan called in the next candidate. "Who is it this time…?"
Morgan shuffled through her papers. "Well… this guy is called General Hux…"
"A general huh?" Grima asked. "Good, someone with military experience."
A tall man wearing a black outfit walked in.
"He doesn't seem very smart," Grima whispered to Morgan.
The man did some sort of weird salute before introducing himself. "You see, I am General Hux of the First Order."
"And what is the First Order?" Grima asked.
"An organization that aims to rule the entire galaxy," General Hux remarked.
"And how familiar are you with concepts such as razing cities to the ground?" Grim asked.
"Cities? I have destroyed entire planets without blinking an eye," General Hux said.
"Good, good," Grima thought. But one thing kept nagging him. "Tell me one thing… ah, general, why is it exactly that you want to work with me? Based on this resume here you seem to be doing quite fine in your own organization. Why do you want to jump ship, so to speak?"
"Ah well, you see, everything was going very smoothly initially," General Hux said. "But our leader was this sort of dark religious fanatic called Snoke and then he ended up dead and then his very loudmouthed little apprentice decided to take over… and I just can't stand him. He's a spoiled brat."
"Oh," Grima said.
"But that's not all really- my experience with the First Order has taught me that I'm tired of evil overlords with magical powers who follow some sort of dark religion," General Hux said. "I'm a man of logic and science. I don't need some sort of weird dark sorcery in my life. At least not any more."
"Oh, too bad," Grima said and summoned several Risen guards with a snap of his fingers. "I don't think that we can work together, for obvious reasons then…"
"Who's next?" Grima asked as General Hux left.
"Well, next up is someone called, uh, 'N' like just the letter N," Morgan said.
"What kind of parents name their child a letter?" Grima asked. "Do you think you'd ever make any friends if I'd named you 'M?'"
"Maybe it isn't his actual name," Morgan said. "Like- what if it's a nickname? And Dad, I never made any friends anyway. You kind of killed them all anyway or drove them away."
"Oh really Morgan?" Grima asked. "Just what is that supposed to mean huh? Are you embarrassed to have me as your father? Is that it? Am I not good enough of a parent for you? Don't forget, young lady, that after your mother and I got divorced-"
"You mean you stabbed her in the neck?" Morgan asked.
"Semantics, Morgan," Grima said. He was about to say more when someone with crazy green hair who was probably N walked in.
"Hello there," N said. "I believe you were hiring?"
"Yes," Grima said. "Now, I've read about your work experience… seems well and good enough…now what is that you wish to accomplish by working with the Grimleal?"
"Oh, you see, I have a vision," N said. "A vision where all the people of the world along with Pokemon and animals live in harmony together. Where all of them are safe and-"
Grima's left eye twitched. "What are you rabbling about, boy? This isn't the Girl Scouts! This is an evil organization! Morgan, why did you give him an interview?"
As a fun side note, there was no longer a Girl Scouts organization anywhere in the world. If there was one thing that Grima truly hated, it was door-to-door salespeople of any kind.
"Uh, well, his work with Team Plasma seemed pretty evil," Morgan said.
Grima told N to get lost and then began rubbing his head. "You know what… I'm sorry Morgan. It's just getting so hard trying to be an evil dictator when you have crazy family members… I don't mean you of course, but it's so hard to find good help these days…"
"That's okay papa," Morgan said. "Hey! Maybe the next person will be good? You'll never know until you try…"
"Nah, forget it," Grima said. "I'll just go back to trying to do everything myself… or maybe I can get a hamster to fill the position or something…"
"Aww, but these next few people are interesting," Morgan said. "I'm sure that we have your assistant somewhere in them. The next person is ah, Monika."
"Last name?" Grima asked.
"Nothing," Morgan said. "That's all that's written on here, there's no last name. Just Monika."
"Why has no one, in any of their forms, written their full names?" Grima asked.
Grima was prevented from ranting too much however as a girl, about eighteen walked in.
Grima groaned. Out of the large list of things that he needed that included a vacation, a sports car, and some chocolate pudding with no raisins in it- another teenage girl was not one of them.
"Hi! This is Monika here- and did I here someone say, 'Just Monika?'" Monika asked.
"Okay, so who are you exactly? And what evil things have you done that would make me want to hire you?" Grima asked.
"Oh, well, I don't know if they'd count as 'evil' or anything," Monika said, "but I did kind of cause the deaths of all three of my friends indirectly by manipulating their character files and kind of drove two of them to kill themselves…"
"Now that is dark," Grima said. "Perhaps we can work out some terms then."
"Uh, I am curious though, what exactly does this job involve?" Monika asked.
"Oh that, you know, the usual, burning down cities, torturing civilians, etc., etc.," Grim said.
"Wait- are you bad people?" Monika asked in surprise.
Grima nearly face-palmed and turned angrily towards Morgan. "Why do you give these people interviews? Do they not even know what the job involves?"
"Uh, I'm kind of going to be honest with you here…" Morgan said. "I kind of just gave an interview to everyone who applied. I mean there weren't even that many people interested so yeah, shortlisting them wasn't hard…"
Grima sighed. "But tell me- you think I'm evil? Then what does that make you?" he asked Monika.
"Well, I mean, I don't know if you'd call it 'evil' because they never really existed in the first place," Monika said. "I mean… it's no more 'evil' than killing off a video game character… and I've bet you've done that lots of times… Anyway, I kind of didn't want to be here anyway, but you know, somebody deleted my file and then I just sort of got bored and started wandering around wherever I could go and ended up in this game…hey, come to think of it then, if I want to stop you, all I have to do is delete your file."
"My file?" Grima asked, eyebrows raised. He noticed that Monika seemed to be concentrating, and Grima did notice that there was something wrong with ah, something. He managed to locate it… something called . There was an option to move it to the Recycle Bin… whatever that was. Grima did just that.
Monika then fizzed and crackled out of existence. "Not again! Why does this always happen to-"
"That was weird," Morgan said.
"You're telling me," Grima said. "So who's up next?"
"Someone by the name of 'Jack Spicer,'" Morgan said.
"Oh good," Grima said. "Someone who has an actual last name."
A teenage boy wearing Gothic/Punk Rock Style clothes walked in. "So I heard you're all looking for an Evil Genius around these parts…"
"More like just somebody who is mildly competent," Grima said. "So, tell me about yourself…" He groaned inwardly at having to ask this question so many times.
"Hey? Is that a jug of Kool-Aid?" Jack asked, pointing to the jug on Grima's desk.
"Ah, no, of course not," Grima said. "That is ah, the blood of the innocent that I've drained which I regularly consume. It's the only drink that can quench my thirst."
"Really? 'Cuz it looks just like the cherry-flavored one, though I prefer grape," Jack said.
"No, no, it's definitely real, live, human blood," Grima said. "And on an unrelated note, I don't like grape."
"Yeah, whatever," Jack Spicer said. "So I bet you're wondering why you'd want someone like me with you, huh? Well guess what- I've wanted to rule the world since the second grade. I've dished out lots of evil, uh, stuff. And sadly I've kind of ell out with my last employers… so, yeah, what evil things have you done? Sorry, but I just kinda need to know who I'm working with here…"
"Well, if I were to tell you a long list of my evil deeds than that would take several hours for me to complete," Grima said. "But let me start with the basics. I killed my best friend and then consumed the souls of thousands of people before forming an army of eldritch monsters with which I have already annihilated half of the world."
Jack's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Grima swore that the guy almost started crying. "I- that's awesome! I don't think even Hannibal or Chase were as cool as you!"
"Right, right, let me confer with my associates for a minute," Grima said. He and Morgan then scooted away from the table and out of earshot of Jack Spicer. "What do you think?"
"I don't know," Morgan said. "Doesn't he seem- kind of immature?"
"Really? That's coming from you?" Grima asked. "That said, he seems to be the best choice as of now. Or at least better than the others. But he's kind of like Bob though in that he seems a bit too desperate for the job."
"Oh, huh," Morgan said. "Well yeah, I guess he'd be alright. Sort of."
"Alright then," Grima said. He then turned to Jack though to see that Jack, during the time that Grima had turned around, had been picking his nose.
Now get this- if there's one thing in life that Grima hated second to door-to-door salespeople, it was people who picked their noses. And then didn't even wash their hands afterwards.
Jack had just done both.
And as such, Jack was rejected, Grima burned the remaining list of people that Morgan had, and said that he was just going to try doing everything himself.
But first, he needed a vacation.
And while he didn't know where he'd be going- he certainly knew where he wouldn't be going- the North Pole.
A/N: Thanks for reading. I think it ended a bit weakly, but honestly I can't pull out any more strength to write more. Yes, this is the final chapter, and I hope all of you enjoyed this!