Chapter 19
Monday 8thSeptember 2014
I wake suddenly, the memory of snapping teeth and glowing green eyes already fading from my conscious mind.
I'm drenched in sweat, which would have been disgusting enough even without my long hair having escaped its elastic band and now clings to every possible inch of skin.
Being super quiet to avoid waking Mai (who basically sleeps like the dead, anyway), I gather my shower things and sneak out of the room, heading for the bathroom.
It's thankfully still early enough that no one is awake, meaning I have my pick of the good showers. Somehow, I seem to always get stuck with the ones that have serious pressure problems, or are growing at least three species of mold.
Standing under the spray of icy cold water is pure bliss that lasts all of five minutes. There's a strange heat in my chest, accompanied by a sort of anxious fluttering in my stomach.
My dream comes back to me in pieces, as well as the memory of the first time I saw someone change into a wolf. I've tried so hard not to linger on the image, knowing that with how close my birthday is approaching, there's no point in sending myself into a panic over it.
I know what will happen, but there's no way to prepare myself for it. Not mentally, anyway. The physical part seems to sort itself out quickly enough in the lead-up, according to Cloud.
My mind flashes to Mai, who's own seventeenth birthday is only a week away. It's been a strange and nerve-wracking experience, watching her gradually change over the last week.
I don't know when exactly the process began, but just in the last few days alone it's been easy to see a noticeable difference in her.
Her hair, already impossibly long and thick, now has a healthy shine to it that not even the most expensive hair products can achieve. Her appetite, now much like that of the older students, could rival the high-calorie diets bodybuilders or extreme athletes swear by.
Yes, I'm jealous. But who wouldn't be when forever surrounded by beautiful people?
Blinding pain shoots through me and a strangled gasp escapes my lips as I clutch my stomach. Waves of scorching heat radiate through my body, and it's all I can do just to try to stay still. Whenever I move the slightest, another crippling lance of pain goes through me.
I slowly sink to the floor, tears streaming down my face with my eyes scrunched tightly closed against the agony.
"Serenity?" Mai's voice echoes through the bathroom, perfectly audible over the sound of the shower pelting against the tiles.
Panic seeps through my mind. I don't want her to see me like this!
Struggling to stand so I can get my towel and cover up, I slip on the wet floor and hit the tiles hard. I let out a cry of pain before biting down on my lip to stifle the sobs now tearing through me. I curl up into a ball, wishing for the torture to just be over already.
"Holy shit." Mai is suddenly by my side, covering me with my towel and pulling my damp hair out of my face. "Serenity, can you hear me?"
I try to answer, but just as I convince my vocal cords to work, another searing flood of pain fills every muscle and nerve of my body, and the last thing I remember is the feeling of the cool tiles beneath me before everything goes black.
I slip back into consciousness slowly. Voices filter into my hazy mind, as well as the feeling of a soft bed underneath me.
How did I get from laying on tiles to a bed? I wonder lazily, trying to convince my eyes to open.
Once they finally obey, I see that I'm back in my room. Mai's bed is empty, and I vaguely wonder where she is.
I get my answer faster than I expect when the door suddenly opens and Mai enters. She looks relieved when she sees me awake and sitting up.
"Oh thank goodness you're awake," she says, and I can practically see the tension draining out of her. "I was worried it had been worse than I first thought."
I'm definitely confused now. I frown at her, trying to detect any little bit of the pain I felt earlier, but everything feels normal. It's as if it never happened at all. "Did I imagine that whole episode?" I ask her, not wanting to even consider those implications.
She sits on the bed beside me and offers a comforting smile. "No, you did not imagine it. Unfortunately, it's one of the many symptoms of the First Change."
"But… It's still so far away from my birthday," I protest, panic once again beginning to grow in me. I thought I would have more time!
Mai looks uncertain, sympathy written all over her face. "The problem is that there's no strict timeline when it comes to this… and the symptoms leading up to it differ greatly between all of us. Or so everyone else tells me, anyway," she adds hastily, blushing slightly.
"So, I'm not going to Change any earlier than my birthday?" I clarify, although from the look on her face I'm not liking my chances of a positive answer.
"Well…" Mai's interrupted by the door opening once more. We both look up to see Kailya and Victorie enter, and Mrs. Cooper the dorm matron on their heels.
I feel awkward under their gazes, especially with the older girls in here. I still hadn't quite worked them out, and I'm not sure that I ever would.
"Miss Oaken? I see that you're feeling better now," Mrs Cooper comments, striding over to my side to rest a cool hand over my forehead. She withdraws after a moment, obviously seeing that I have no temperature, and her eagle-sharp but kind eyes sweep over the rest of me.
I'm not sure what she expects to see, but I assume she doesn't find anything out of the ordinary when she nods absentmindedly. "Are you feeling well enough to go to classes today, or do you need me to write a note to your teachers?" she asks.
The day off classes when I'm still so behind? Hell no! "No, I'm okay. Just a little confused," I insist.
Mrs. Cooper glances at Victorie and Kailya, then back to me. "I think that's something your pack should talk to you about." She leaves without another word.
I look between the three girls, all of them watching me. There's pity in their eyes, and I realize I hate that more than the idea of the Change. "How did I get back here?" I ask Mai, hoping to distract myself.
She seems relieved to have something easy to answer. "I woke up and found you gone. I was worried that something had happened, so I went looking for you. I heard you cry out in the bathroom, so I totally freaked when I saw you curled up on the floor like that." She looks down at her clasped hands.
Kailya pipes up. "She came and woke us up so we could help her get you back in here. You're lucky you didn't hit your head on the tiles when you fell." Her tone is matter-of-fact, but I can see the shadows of memories floating in her eyes.
I flush, embarrassed by the thought of these perfect female specimens seeing every inch of plain old me.
Victorie nudges Kailya and whispers something in her ear. The redhead nods and with a final glance at me, they both leave.
"Come on, we'd better get ready. Double gym this morning," Mai says, prodding me in the ribs with a forced smile.
Ten minutes later we're making our way out of the cafeteria in the direction of the gym building. Thanks to my episode this morning, we had no time for a proper breakfast, only managing to snag a couple of blueberry muffins that were left.
"Serenity!" Cloud's voice interrupts my next bite of muffin.
I wince, knowing from his worried tone that he already knew about what happened. After glancing at Mai, who smiles at me and continues into the lobby of the gym, I turn to face Cloud.
He gently holds either side of my face, looking deep into my eyes. I half-expect him to kiss me, and dearly hope he doesn't given the mouthful of dessert I have yet to chew.
"Are you okay?" he asks, slowly dropping his hands to my waist instead.
I swallow the muffin, almost choking in the process, strangely irritated by his worry. "I'm fine," I assure him, laughing it off.
He frowns. "Are you sure? I heard it was pretty bad…"
Something about his words makes me angry. I'm not a fragile girl, I don't need to be coddled like one! "Seriously, Cloud. I don't want to talk about this right now," I tell him empathetically, immediately hating myself for it.
He looks a little taken aback as he releases me, but then he sets his jaw in that way I'm beginning to learn that he does right before becoming stubborn as a mule.
"I get it, okay. I really do. But this is serious, and I really care about you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you."
We stare at each other, neither willing to back down, but not wanting to escalate things further by continuing the argument.
The anger that was so intense in my chest a moment ago, begins to fade, but in my mind, I feel as though something between us has shifted. Whether for good or bad, I don't know.
Before I get the chance to say something I'll later regret, Mrs. Northman arrives. We follow her into the gym lobby as she calls us all to attention.
Using class as an excuse to ignore my disagreement with Cloud, I turn away from him, avoiding any attempts he might have to catch my eye.
I'm confused to see Luca and another girl named Elle flanking Mrs. Northman, considering they're upperclassmen and have gym during a different period.
It seems I'm not the only one left out of the loop (for once) because Mrs. Northman briefly explains they are to be her teaching assistants for the semester.
This is just freaking perfect. My summer fling – can I even really can him that? – is going to be helping to teach the class that I'm worst in. With his younger brother here too, no less.
Is it also terrible of me to be wondering if I look okay in my gym clothes? As if I wasn't already nervous about showing so much leg in front of Cloud and the rest of class, but now I have Luca to worry about too.
We file into the gym behind Mrs. Northman and I'm glad I'm not the only one awed by the transformation inside. Last week where there had been weight machines and exercise equipment, there is now a twenty-foot high metal structure.
It takes a moment to overcome the shock to realize it's some sort of jumbo-sized playground, complete with monkey-bars, rope ladders, plank bridges, a rock climbing wall and even what looks like a flying fox.
"Are they freaking kidding me?" Mai mutters from beside me, her eyebrows pinched together at the monstrosity. "I swear she enjoys torturing us."
Cloud, unsurprisingly, doesn't seem ruffled by the change in class schedule.
He notices me staring at him incredulously. "What?" he asks, cool as a cucumber. Innocent as a lamb. Calm as the… well, you get the idea.
"How are you not even a little bit concerned?" I demand. "I get that your fitness level is a lot higher than mine, but that… thing, is a death trap!"
Even I'll admit that I may be overreacting a little, but seriously. Nothing ever seems to bother him, and I'm beginning to feel like the damsel-in-distress type of girl pretty much around the clock.
I mean, a freaking spider dropped onto his arm while we were at the lodges before school started and he literally just picked it up and put it on a nearby branch without so much as a batted eyelid.
I cock an eyebrow at him when he still doesn't reply.
He finally cracks a smile. "I may or may not have overheard Luca talking about it to Mason the other day," he says slyly.
I roll my eyes. I guess I'd better add cocky to the growing list of Cloud's attributes.
Class is underway, and a feeling of dread grows in my stomach. The metal structure at first looked like a complicated mismatch of playground equipment, but as Mrs. Northman explains the purpose of today's lesson, it begins making more sense.
Most of the class – made up of first, second and third grade students – look just as ill as I feel. Only those older students – like Cloud – look mildly intrigued.
Mrs. Northman tells us all to get in line, older students at the front and younger ones at the back. Cloud flashes me an uncertain smile before joining the line ahead of us. I feel the loss of his presence, but force myself to focus on Mrs. Northman.
When we've organized ourselves, she starts showing students one by one where to start on the structure. As she finishes briefing each student, she gestures for them to begin climbing, and watches for a second to make sure they follow her instructions.
She pauses for a few minutes when the last of the third graders are on the course, and we all watch in fascination as they go through it like it's the easiest thing ever. My eyes are drawn to Cloud over and over again, awed by the graceful way he pulls himself up the rock wall and manages to not even break a sweat by the end.
When the third graders are grouped at the base of the structure and the equipment is free, Mrs. Northman beckons the first second grader forward.
The boy who steps up looks nervous, and from the way he scrubs his hands on his shirt, he's dreading it too. I'm a little irritated then, wondering what kind of teacher would put us through this when clearly, we don't want to.
From the four classes I had with Mrs. Northman last week, I had the impression that she liked to challenge us, but this is just taking it way too far. Her face is expressionless, as always, giving away nothing.
I see her talking to the nervous boy, but I'm too far away still to hear exactly what she says. Once she's satisfied that he understood her instructions, she stood aside for him to step up to the rope ladder that is the beginning of the course.
The next student steps up to follow him, and so the cycle repeats. I notice that the path Nervous Boy takes is slightly different from the one Cloud and the others took, avoiding some of the more daring sections.
I feel a little relieved to know that we weren't expected to be good enough to climb a twenty-foot rock wall, but my stomach is still filled with nerves at the thought of doing it in front of the whole class.
A glance behind me tells me that Mai is thinking the exact same thing. Her eyes are uncertain as she watches the line slowly moving forward, and when she notices me watching her, her confident smile is forced.
By the time it comes to my turn I feel sick, dreading the very idea of what I'm about to do.
"Relax, Oaken," Mrs. Northman says as she finishes with the girl in front of me and turns her no-bullshit gaze on me. Her tone is sympathetic, despite her gruff words. "Just follow Miss Malven in front of you and you'll be fine." Her eyes shift to Mai behind me and I'm dismissed.
With no other option but to do as instructed, I wipe my palms against my shorts in an effort to stop the sweat pooling there.
Grabbing hold of the rope, I take a steadying breath and fix my gaze on the top.
An hour later and my arms, which had turned to the consistency of cooked spaghetti, were refusing to work properly anymore.
We're allowed a ten-minute break before starting up the grueling torture again, meaning most of us are making the most of every second.
"That was freakin' brutal," Mai complains, collapsing onto the floor beside where I'm already reclined. Sweat is making her curls stick to her face where they've come loose from her braid, and her carefully applied makeup is beginning to streak, making her look blotchy under her dark skin.
"Tell me about it," I say, just cringing at the thought of the sweat under my boobs and between my shoulder blades.
"Hey." Cloud plops down on my other side, and I feel a thrill go through me as our knees and shoulders brush. Whether or not he purposely meant to sit so close I don't know, and I suppose that's what couples do all the time, but it makes my heart warm all the same.
I'm disgusted to see that after the hell we've just been through, Cloud looks as though he's just gone for a leisurely jog, nothing like how I feel.
"I'm beginning to think that this whole wolf thing won't be so bad," I remark, "if one of the benefits is to have the body strength and stamina of The Rock."
They both laugh and some more of the tension from my earlier argument with Cloud fades away.
We're a few minutes into our designated break time when the voices of another group nearby reach my ears.
"They're so fucking annoying, always thinking they're better than everyone else," one guy is saying to the others, his voice filled with contempt.
"Ugh, I know right?" The girl who'd been in front of me on the course is the next one to speak. I can't see her clearly, but I can imagine the sneer on her delicate face. "That Oaken girl behind me was panting so loudly I could barely hear myself think."
They all laugh.
I flush red with shame as soon as I realize she's talking about me. As if I could have been more ashamed of my fitness level. If it wasn't obvious before that most students have a problem with those of us from Serenity Falls, I now have verbal confirmation.
"I heard the little princess is sleeping with the Hale prince," another girl says. "Saw them making out yesterday and everything, so must be true. What a slut."
I will myself to stop listening, to just block out their poisonous gossip and forget everything I've heard.
Easier said than done. They keep talking, insulting us and saying more nasty things about me. I have no idea why they would target me in particular, and any good feelings I'd managed to build up are disappearing rapidly.
"Completely full of shit," Cloud growls suddenly, and I realize with a jolt that he'd been listening to them, too.
"Obviously have nothing better to talk about," Mai adds, her calm face betrayed by the snapping fury in her brown eyes.
They're both tense, and I realize I am too.
"Alright, break time's over," Mrs. Northman calls, causing a mad scramble as everyone gets to their feet. I avoid even looking in the direction of the gossips, embarrassed and angry at just the memory of their words.
Is that really what everyone here thinks of us? Or did we just happen to overhear the main haters?
By the time we're in line and it comes back around to my turn, I've been working myself up into a brooding fury. I hate what everyone says about us when they don't know the first thing about any of us. It's unreasonable, and people like that always piss me off.
With those infuriating thoughts in mind, I prepare to follow the she-demon in front of me.
I don't know what spurred me to change course, or how I ever thought it could end well, but before I knew it I was at the base of the rock wall, completely off limits for those in my level. Especially a no-go for someone like me with no body strength to speak of.
Ignoring any better judgement that might be screaming inside me, and mildly surprised no one has called me back yet, I grab hold of the first plastic handholds and pull myself up.
I have to prove that I'm just as good as the rest of them.
That thought planted firmly at the forefront of my mind, I set my sights on the top of the wall, where I could jump across to the next platform and to safety.
Things go smoothly for the most part, the blood pumping steadily in my ears as I place first one hand on the next hold, pull myself up, and reach for the next hold. Pumped by my successful progress, I begin to climb faster and faster, building up a steady rhythm.
My first mistake is not realizing how far apart the handholds become the closer to the top I get. As I reach for my next hold I don't push myself far enough, falling short and scraping against the rough texture of the wall.
My whole balance thrown off, I cling one-handed to the wall, desperately trying to find a second handhold without pulling myself too far from the wall and gravity taking hold.
Unease rushes through me, knowing that I could so easily lose my grip and fall. Forcing myself to breathe normally, I try again for the next hold, exhaling in relief when I get it.
The only problem is, I don't have enough momentum to climb the final few feet and reach the platform.
My heart races as I realize for the first time exactly how dangerous a position I am in right now. With no harness, and no net below us, if I fell… there would be no coming back from that.
I watch, a sickening feeling in my stomach, as my fingers begin to slip on the plastic handholds as sweat forms on my hands.
Climbing a twenty-foot rock wall hadn't been my greatest idea, especially when angry. Trying to prove something to myself is one thing, but proving it to a group of petty teenagers – who are now twenty feet below me – can only be a recipe for disaster.
My fingers slip further and a strangled gasp escapes my lips. I'm going to die, and it's going to be very public and horrifically painful.
I just hope I don't land on someone and kill them, too.